Afterlife
by Yoko Black
Summary: AU to 5.4: The End. Sam Wesson meets up with what could be the last rebel force and helps to fight the forces of the Devil and keep his terrible secret. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Afterlife**

**Rating: T-M**

**Summary: AU to 5.4: The End. Sam Wesson meets up with what could be the last rebel force and helps to fight the forces of the Devil and keep his terrible secret.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Supernatural TV series. I make no money off this story**

**Chapter 1: The Crazies**

Sam slowly eased open the door and looked around the dim room, afraid to use the small flashlight in his pocket. The air in the room was heavy, meaning that not a soul had been in there for a long time. There was no light coming from the lights above and hardly any from the outside. He was forced to use the flashlight. The flashlight was small the size of his thumb but it had a bright light.

The light coasted around the deserted grocery store. The shelves were all but deserted of food and everything else was scattered, the jewelry, hair care, clothes, movies, everything was thrown on the floor in a frenzy.

Sam first went to the register. He didn't have to force it open. It already had been. Everything but five pennies had been taken. He took the pennies anyway and stuffed them in his pocket. He grabbed discarded plastic bags and went shopping.

He first thought of food, anything canned, fruit, vegetables, soup, beans, tomato sauce. Everything went into the bag. Even bags of beans. Sam hated refried beans, but if it was between life and death, Sam would eat the beans any day. There wasn't a lot on the shelves but he managed to fill two grocery bags and stuff them into his camping bag.

Then he went to clothes. His were rags on his shoulders and he needed a new set. He also grabbed a bag of briefs. He went to the back of the room to change. He shed the rags and put on the new white undershirt, dark flannel and blue jeans.

When he left the back room he stuffed his bag with what remaining clothes were on the rack. He would need them later, for what he didn't know yet. He also packed jewelry, hair bands, books, magazines, and anything that might become handy later or could use to barter with in case he met with another human again.

He was looking at books, deciding on which to grab when he heard a crash. He turned off the flash light and ducked down, laying the bag on the floor next to him. He heard another crash, closer this time, and Sam carefully peeked over the shelves. He silently groaned.

Standing in front of the store was a group of people but very dangerous from Sam's experience. Their clothes were torn, dirty and bloody. Their faces were dirty, their hair matted and cuts and bruises covered their bodies. The major difference between them and safer people was their blood shot crazed eyes, and the knives in their hands.

_'Oh God, it's them!'_ he thought and ducked away. He tried to quiet his breathing and hit at the back of the aisle. One came toward him and he quietly crept away from the hiding place and hid again at a far aisle in the back of the store. A quick check showed Sam he was surrounded.

_'Oh, shit!'_ he thought. _'Please, God. Don't let them find me!'_ A dirt shoe came into view and Sam closed his eyes, silently screaming, _'Go away! Go away! Go away!'_

The foot left. Sam heard multiple footfalls leaving the store. He checked again and found the crazies walking out of the store. He sighed in relief. He grabbed his bag and shot out the back. If there was one group another wasn't far behind.

Sam walked out through the loading dock and hurried down the alley, keeping his head down. He didn't want to get caught after running for so long.

He only had to hide once in the back alley from a group. He hid for ten minutes as the group loitered around the dumpster he hid behind before finally leaving. Wooden crates on either side effectively hid him from prying eyes and he slowed his breathing to keep from being heard.

He finally got to his hideout. It was the basement of an abandoned hotel building. The doors leading in were locked and the only way in was a loose window. Sam shoved his bag through first before going in himself. He locked the window with a hook and loops and covered it with a sheet of plywood. All the rest of the windows were boarded up too and a small camping grill was set in the corner with coal bags next to it. A sleeping roll was spread out on the floor. Against the wall were boxes full of supplies. Everything Sam had collected was there.

Sam opened one of the boxes and carefully put the canned food in. he reminded himself he'd have to look for meat before sunset the next day. He took out a can of vegetable soup for his supper. He used an army can opener to open the can, start a fire, pour the soup in a camp cooking pot and set it on the grill. He set out a bowl and spoon he'd use for his soup.

This was Sam's life for the last five years. Sam's whole life had been hard but there last few years were the hardest. He lived in this hell on Earth but he didn't mind. Staying alive kept him from going crazy.

He had just finished his supper when the gunfire went off. Sam didn't run outside to check who it was. Rogue soldiers shooting off at every crazy out on the street, or on anything that moved. Sam never went out while they were shooting. He hadn't even met this group yet, but he watched them often. Learn your enemies before you meet. That's what his father always said.

Sam settled in his roll to sleep, humming Bon Jovi.

_"Whoa, we're half way there. Whoa living on a prayer…." _

_"I don't see why your father isn't proud of you," said Jessica smiling at him. "I know I am." _

_ "Well, my dad is proud of me, in his own way," said Sam. _

_ "He should show it more. I've never even met him."_

_ "He likes his privacy." Jessica scoffed._

_ "Apparently it runs in the family," she said. _

_ "You're more important," said Sam. "I don't know what I'll do without."_

_ "Crash and burn," she said smiling. _

_ Sam smiled back at her and leaned to kiss her, and the room went up in flames. Sam jumped back and watched in horror as Jessica burned._

_ "Jessica!"_

_ "Come on, you idiot!" _

_ Sam was grabbed from behind and dragged out. He kicked at his rescuer. _

_ "Let me go! I have to rescue her!" _

_ "She's dead, you moron! Save yourself!"_

_ The air exploded and Sam could feel the heat in his face._

Sam woke with a start, a second before the alarm on his watch went off. He shut it off and lay on the sleeping roll, fingering his father's wedding ring absently. Sam hadn't had a dream like that in almost twelve years. Why would he have one now? He couldn't even look at a fire safely since Jessica died. Why would he dream about the accident now?

Sighing he sat up and grabbed a nutrient bar for breakfast ad a pot of water was set on the fire to boil. He set a large bucket he found somewhere near the fire and poured kettle after kettle full of hot water in it. He went up the basement door leading into the hotel and walked into the first room closest to the door.

Walking into the bathroom he grabbed a fresh hand towel, stripped and began to wet himself down with the hot water. He didn't wince or cringe away from the water. He was used to it. He used a bar of soap to wash himself and his hair before rinsing himself off by first running the towel over him and then dumping the bucket over him. The water was cooler by then. He dried with a large towel, dressed, collected his things and went back down to the basement.

He washed the clothes he had worn the day before, hung them on a line he rigged and got ready to go out. He strapped the knife he always wore to his belt and crawled out of the window, a bow and quiver of arrowed with him. He put a large crate in front of the window and crept out of the alley.

Sam didn't really know where he was going. He just went in whichever direction he felt like, and each direction seemed to take him where he needed to be.

This time his feet took him to the outskirts of town, five miles from where he as hiding. It took him a couple hours to get there, needing to dodge crazies and avoid detection. When he felt he reached his destination he crouched behind a car jack knifed on the side walk and waited. He did this sometimes, when the intense need to observe overpowered him and he walked out with just a knife and gun, or bow as the case was now through he preferred the knife. It was silent and didn't attract detection if you used it right. A gun was efficient but loud when you're trying to be silent.

Sam didn't have to wait long when a sound of a car rolled in. He peeked over the hood of the car and saw a Jeep and a truck roll by before stopping in front of the car Sam was hiding behind. Eight people got out of the cars, four in each.

"All right, everyone has their jobs," yelled the leader, his face hidden from Sam but voice oddly familiar. "I want ya'all back in half an hour or I'm leaving out here is this hell hole. Got it?"

"Yes, sir!"

And they went off in groups of two, each going into a different building. Only the boss and a second man stayed behind. Sam figured he was the second in command so Sam dubbed him "Second".

"So when are you going to tell Cassandra you're sleeping with Molly?" asked Second.

"When are you going to tell Lana you're sleeping with Sarah?" asked Boss with a smirk.

"Hey, I'm not the one sleeping with everyone, and I mean everyone."

"Hey, when I have an itch, I don't care who scratches it."

"When are you going to settle down," asks Second.

"When I'm dead," said Boss. "Too much hell in the world for me to think about having a wife."

"What if one of your one night stands has a kid?"

"That's what the refugee camp is for. I'm not father material."

A whoop came from one of the buildings and Boss and Second looked over as two men hurried out of the apartment building.

"Yo, boss, jackpot" yelled one man holding up a handful of DVDs and video cassettes.

"That's great, Ronny, now what the hell are we going to play them on?" yelled Boss sounding slightly annoyed.

Ron looks guilty. "Sorry, boss. I-I just thought…."

"Yeah, I know what you thought, and with where we're at you'll get more out of a magazine. If you want to keep them, go ahead, but find me something useful. Got it?"

Ron nodded. "Got it, boss."

And he walked back in the building again, his partner behind him. Each team came out carrying something and went down the block collecting supplies. Sam moved for a closer look, and a bottle clattered along the street. Boss and Second looked toward his hiding spot.

"What was that?" asked Second.

"Check it out."

Second walked toward the cars. Sam only had enough time to crawl under the truck before Second walked around the truck to where he had been hiding. A barrel covered the bottom of the car from the street so Boss wasn't able to see him.

"What is it?" asked Boss.

"Nothing," said Second. "Just a rat."

Through a crack Sam saw Boss skeptically look at Sam's hiding spot before turning back to his men loading the truck and Jeep. Sam watched them from under the truck till they drove away.

Sam crawled out from under the truck and followed. The group had been more interesting than any other he had seen in any city, which was mostly rogue army soldiers. Sam had learned to avoid them. They were good on trading but never meet them in a big city. They will shoot on sight.

But this group didn't seem like that. They actually checked before shooting. The leader seemed to be nice but stern to his men, letting them know he supported them but they should also obey him. He was the kind of man others would respect.

And the leader seemed familiar to Sam but he couldn't place where. It had been so long since Sam saw any familiar face. The last person he saw was his old college fried before his life went crazy.

Two blocks from where Sam first spotted them the group stopped and restarted the process. Sam hid behind another car and watched them. Aside from Ron's antics the operation stayed fairly quiet with the Boss barking orders and small talk between him and Second. Sam learned that a guy name Cas had just healed from a broken leg and a girl named Lana's pregnant. At the Boss said something about reassignment.

Everything had been going smoothly till Sam felt something was wrong. When Sam got those feelings they usually were true.

He ran out from behind the car toward them.

"Get out of here!" he yelled. They turned to him but Sam was too busy looking around for the danger he knew was there. "Get out of here! They're coming!"

"Who are you?" yelled Boss and Sam looked to him. And stopped as the dream flashed in his mind. To the guy who saved his life from the fire and never saw again. Till now.

"Who are you?" he repeated and before Sam could answer a yell came from one of the buildings. Ron and his partner ran out yelling.

"It's a family!" Ron yelled. "A whole fucking family in there!"

"Everybody out now!" yelled the Boss. "Back to the cars! Move it!" he turned to Sam. "You too. Come on!"

Sam hesitated. He never took a ride with any of the rough arm groups and the fact that Sam felt familiarity to the leader of this one was another reason why he hesitated.

"What are you waiting for?!" yelled Second as the "family" that Ron called the was running out of the building waving knives, shards of glass and broken bottles as the rest of the team ran out to help. Sam was had taken out his hand gun and was firing to give them time to get away. "Come on!"

"I can't," said Sam over the noise of the gun. "I just….I can't!"

The noise was attracting more crazies. Soon the group would be over run. Not even Sam could hide from them. When he ran out of bullets he took out his knife and was blocking knives and shivs, the runes on the blade flashing. He slashed at one woman and looked over at the team. Boss was firing expertly at the hoard hardly glancing to aim. One crazy was creeping behind him with a glass shard in his hand to cut Boss's throat.

Sam didn't pause as he throws his knife. It sailed past Boss's shoulder and the man gasped as the knife embedded in his chest. Boss turned in surprise as the crazy fell then to Sam who was now fighting with a discard pipe, trying to escape.

Sam was so focused in finding an opening he didn't see the man jump off a car and slash down his arm. Sam grunted and fell, his head connecting to the concrete. Sam looked up see the man raise the glass to stab him but hesitated. He looked down at Sam a few seconds before he had been shot down and Sam looked up to see Boss walk over to him and grabbed Sam's uninjured arm.

"Come on, you're coming with us!" he yelled over the gunfire. Sam struggled against him.

"No, I can't come with you! I have to stay!"

"No choice," yelled Boss and shoved Sam in the Jeep. Boss jumped in the driver's seat and floored it as his team fired at the crazies to keep them off the cars. Sam tried to awake but the gash on his head made it impossible and he passed out.

**TBC**

**-"The Crazies" is the name of the 2009 horror movie. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Camp Justice**

Sam groaned as he came back to consciousness and looked at the rafters above him. His head felt tight and his eyes unfocused for a minute before it cleared. He tried to lift his arms but they were too heavy. He couldn't move.

Sam turned his head to look around. He saw other beds along both walls, covered in white sheets and a curtain at the end of the beds. It had a stand in front of it with a sigh that read "NOT OPERATING".

Sam tried to sit up again, and again found himself held down. He looked at both of his hands and found them handcuffed to the bed. He tugged on them but they were good and tight.

"What the hell…."

"Sorry about that." Sam looked up to see a pretty woman with dark hair pulled up in a half hazard knot, army cameos and bright blue eyes. A gun was strapped to her hip. "It's standard procedure. Some patients aren't very nice when they wake up."

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said. "Please, let me go."

She sighed. "Unfortunately that's not up to me."

"Whose it is?"

"The boss's. I can make you stay as comfortable as possible but that's it." She smiled at him. "I think this would go better if we knew each other's names. I'm Lucy. Lucy Pierce."

"Sam. Sam Wesson."

"I'll let the boss know you're awake. Do you need anything?"

Sam rattled his restraints suggestively. "Un-cuffed?"

Lucy smiled at him. "Cute. Wish I could but sorry. I could get you some water. How's that sound?"

Sam smiled back at her. She was a nice person and his throat was dry. "That'll be great, thanks."

Lucy smiled and momentarily left through the outside door. Sam leaned forward to see but the wall blocked the view. Lucy returned a minute later with a canteen and a straw. She put the straw in the canteen and held it to Sam. Sam took a long drink.

"Thanks," he said.

"I'll go talk to the boss," said Lucy. She set the canteen on the table and left.

Sam wondered what the boss was like. He remembered the leader of the group that rescued him, a man he met once but seen many times. Sam didn't know much about him except he was easy to get along with. He hoped he'd let Sam loose soon.

Lucy walked in, looking grim, and Sam shifted on his cot.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"He reminded me that I have to keep you here for twenty-four hours for observation, and you've only been here for twelve."

"I've been here for twelve hours?!" he said. He tugged on the restraints. "Get me out of here. I have to go."

"Sam, you can't." Lucy hurried over to stop him.

"No, you don't understand. I have to leave."

"Why? Why do you have to leave?"

"I just…I just have to." He looked up at her apologetically. "Please."

Lucy looked at him as if wanting more of an answer, but he didn't say anything. She patted his arm and reached in her pocket.

"Tell you what," she said. "I'll let go of one of your hands but don't even think about running. There are guards everywhere. Stay in here, all right? I'm trusting you."

Sam nodded. "That's nice of you. Thank you."

Lucy nodded, took out a key and unlocked one of the handcuffs. Sam shook the sleep from his arm and sat up on the bed.

"I have to check on a guy with a broken arm so just make yourself comfortable and I'll be back soon."

"I'll be here," he said.

Lucy smiled and left. Sam stood to look out the nearest window and watched her leave. He looked around. It looked like a summer camp, like the kind kids went to. There was numbers on the cabins and what looked like a bonfire. Men and some women walked around the grounds carrying boxes or weapons, obviously in a hurry. Some just stood around all relaxed and on guard at the same time.

Sam looked around the room. He promised Lucy he'd stay but the need to leave dominated him. He needed to leave. He looked for anything that could help him unlock the cuffs but couldn't see anything in reach

He shifted his weight and a floorboard creaked. He looked down and saw the floorboard press down, and a nail stick out. He reached down and carefully wiggled it out and looked at it. The tip was slightly crooked. He used it to pick the lock. It was slightly harder than with a lock pick made by a paper clip but in a matter of second he had the cuffs unlocked and he quietly slipped out of the cabin.

He carefully looked around. No one seemed to notice him leaving the cabin. They were either working or talking. There was a path leading toward a pair of cattle gates, a fence was connected to both side with what looked like razor wire. Sam didn't have to guess that the fence went around the camp ground.

Sam walked toward the fence, trying to act as casual as he could and walked along it, pretending to inspect the perimeter. He was looking for anything that could help him get out, but it looked like these people were more careful about their perimeter then some of the soldiers Sam met. The fences were twice as tall as him and there wasn't any crates o holes in the fence for him to escape through as far as he could tell.

Sam was checking a part of the fence when he collided into something. With how dark it was it didn't surprise him that he would bump into something. It took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the dark and make out what it was. It was a car. Sam gasped when he saw it.

"A '67 Chevy Impala?" he said in shock. "Oh, God, this car is a cherry!"

"Yes it is." Sam turned and saw a man in tie-dye shirt, khaki shorts and sandals walk up. He had scruffy brown hair, a short beard and brown eyes that looked like he was stoned, but when he looked at Sam it was like he was looking into Sam. "And Dean doesn't like anyone messing with his car."

"But why is it on jacks and cement blocks, and it's rusting like hell," said Sam, forgetting about his escape. "Why would he put a car like this in this kind for condition? And why keep it here?"

The man looked at Sam curiously. "I haven't seen you before and I never forget a face. Who are you?"

"I'm a…transfer," he said quickly saying the first thing that came to mind. "From Chicago."

"Really?" he said. "I don't remember sending for a recruit, especially one dressed like that." He eyes Sam's flannel and jeans.

"Oh, uh…." Sam looked down at his outfit. "All of the rest of my clothes were ruined. This was all I had left."

"Uh-huh," he said. "Well, see, I'm in charge of the recruitment and you're not one it." Sam's heart went to his throat. "I think you better come with me."

"No, I can't. I have to…."

"I will call security." Sam's throat stuck and all he could do was shake his head. "Good, 'cause I hate calling them. Follow me."

Sam didn't get a chance to run as the man made him walk in front of him. He gave Sam directions to the Big House, as he called it. The man didn't walk. Just walked in the cabin and in the middle of an argument between a short geeky man and the man Sam had previously called "the Boss".

"I'm telling you, Dean, he's coming," said the geek. "I saw it!"

"You actually made a joke, Chuck, 'cause he'd been here for five years," said Boss. "You're a little late on the update."

"It's not that it's something different. Someone much more dangerous."

"Dean." Boss looked over at the new arrivals. "That guest you brought in tried to escape, and then he said he was a recruit from Chicago."

"Thanks, Cas," said Dean and turned to Sam. "That would have worked, if we actually did send for recruits, and id Chicago gone up in flames a year ago, taking everything with it."

Sam couldn't have had a guiltier look on his face. "I'm sorry but I have to leave."

"Why?" Sam kept quiet. "Are you a Croat?"

"A what?"

"A Croatoan. One of them." He nodded his head as if to indicate the people outside the camp.

"No!" Sam said with as much hate and disgust as he felt toward the crazies.

"Then what? Werewolf? Vampire? Demon?"

"No! None of those. I'm _human_!" Dean looked at him skeptically. "Look, you can use any test you want but I'm not one of them!"

Dean gave him a once over. "You look familiar. Do I know you?"

Sam glared at him and crossed his arms. "You pulled me from a fire once," he said with irritation. "Ten years ago. It killed my girlfriend. While she was on the ceiling. You know, you never explained that."

Looking sheepish Dean scratched his head. "Right, uh, Cas, Chuck, this is…."

Sam laughed. "Right, took the time to pull me out of a fire but not get my name."

Dean glared at him. "I was busy!"

"It's Sam, by the way. Sam Wesson." Dean gave Sam a look, like he was just found something amusing. "What?"

"Nothing. Well then, Sammy…."

"Sam!"

"Sam, this is Chuck Shirley and this is Castiel."

"Hi," said Chuck nervously.

"Hello," said Castiel with a wave.

"Why is he out of isolation?" asked Chuck pointing at Sam. "IS this the guy you brought in from the city? He's been out there for who knows how long…."

"Quite a while said Sam. "Just 'cause you're asking."

"He still has to be screened," said Chuck.

"Lucy had screened him six hours ago," said Dean. He looked over at Sam. "He's clean as a whistle." He crossed his arms. "The bigger question is why he was alone in a hot zone."

"I…had to find someone," said Sam quickly. He still didn't trust Dean despite their heroic first meeting.

"Who?" asked Castiel.

"Personal," said Sam looking at him as if daring him to ask another question.

"Okay," said Dean in calming voice. "All right. We all have stuff we want to keep to ourselves."

"You should know," said Castiel with a smirk. Dean shot him with a fierce look. "What? I'm just saying?"

Dean turned back to Sam. "We still haven't been introduced properly." He held out his hand to Sam. "Dean Winchester."

Sam started at the name. He heard it once before, in his head. So loud he thought his head would explode.

"DEAN WINCHESTER HAS ESCAPED!"

Sam shook his head to rid himself of the memory of the voice that had spoken in his mind clear as day years ago.

"You okay?" asked Chuck. Sam looked at him curiously.

"Yes. Why?"

"You looked like you had a headache," said Dean in concern, surprising Sam.

"Or something else," said Castiel with a look Sam didn't like. His face was expressionless and his eyes were cold and hard as stone.

"I'm fine," said Sam. I'm just not used to people-people. I tend to stay away from the trigger happy sharp shooting nutjobs."

"They roughed you up?" asked Dean.

"If you call shooting me roughing me up, then yeah, they roughed me up."

"We heard they were unconventional," said Chuck. "A little less than us, but they can't be all bad."

Sam looked between them. "How long has it been since you were outside the city limits?"

"Two years," said Dean. "Since the fall of Chicago."

Sam shook his head with a smirk. "Well, I met the fighters in Chicago. Compared to them, you're down right neighborly. Doesn't surprise me they burned the city down."

"Except for the refugee camp we may be the last fee outpost," said Castiel. "We haven't heard from New York or Cleveland, not even Washington."

"I doubt the president can do anything about this," said Dean. He turned to Sam. "You've been outside. What's it like?"

"Do you need to ask," said Sam leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "Hell, hell, and more hell. Everywhere I turn there's another monster."

"How did you stay alive?" asked Dean.

"I learned a thing or two over the years. "Sealed the door and the windows, gun with silver bullet's under the bed." He smirked. "I even put holy water in a water pistol. How stupid was that?"

"Did it work?" asked Castiel.

"Saved my life over."

"Then it wasn't stupid."

"It was still overly paranoid."

"Better paranoid then dead," said Dean. "Who taught you?"

"Just some…friends," said Sam hesitantly. Dean gave him a skeptic look.

"Only certain "friends" know those tricks. And I know quite a few."

"You know, why don't I pry into your personal life?" asked Sam angrily. "Like where you're from. How do you know those tricks too? And how you're still alive living in a thousand years of hell?"

Dean didn't answer and the room went quiet. Sam didn't expect an answer but he didn't expect the other two to go quiet.

The silent was broken by the door slamming shut and Lucy running into the room in a panic.

"Dean, he's…."

"Found him, Lucy," said Dean pointing to Sam. Sam smiled at her.

"Hi, Lucy," he said. Lucy was shocked to find Sam there.

"How did you?"

"You really need to fix that floorboard," he said. She laughed.

"I've been meaning to."

"Go get Barnes to help you," said Dean. "He's still under MP."

"And he's better with a hammer," said Castiel.

"Hey." Lucy glared at him. "Watch it, wing-man, or your pill bottles will come up empty next time."

Castile held up his hands in surrender and Lucy left. Sam turned back to Dean.

"MP?"

"Manual Punishment," said Castiel. "Like minimal labor but more in punishment form. You know like keeping up maintenance, kitchen duty, lavatory…."

"Okay, I think I got it."

"Look, Sammy…." started Dean but Sam interrupted him.

"Sam."

"Sam, it's not like we don't trust you, but you're the first person we've seen in two years alone." Sam focused his eyes on Dean to not make the other man more suspicious. "I would like to know everything you're learned out there."

"Or you want to figure out how I survived for five years," said Sam. "Truthfully, I don't know. I just did what any smart person would do." Dean just looked at Sam, which Sam stared back defiantly. "I could start to like you. You don't trust a guy immediately on meeting. Trust is earned, not given. My father taught me that."

"My father said something of the same thing," said Dean. "Cas, is there room for him?"

"Everyone's bunk is full but yours," said Castiel.

Dean looked between Sam and Castiel before saying anything. "My bunk then," he said. "Cas, have a couple of men pull a cot in my cabin. With some clean sheets and pillow. Then take Sam to the supply cabin. Get him clean clothes and a shower.

"I don't need…."

"I suggest you do what he says," said Castiel. "He likes to be in charge.

Dean gave Castiel a look as both stood and walked out of the cabin. They saw two men lying on the porch of a cabin and Castiel turned to them.

"Davids, Johnson, take a cot from storage and put it in the boss's cabin," he ordered.

"In the boss's cabin?" asked Davids in confusion.

"Yes, the boss's cabin," said Castiel slightly irritated. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, sir!" said Johnson and they hurried off to get the cot. Castiel watched them before turning back to Sam.

"There are times to be a friend and there are times to be the boss," he said.

"You really don't have to do this," said Sam. "I can do this myself."

"And give you a chance to run?" Castiel laughed. "No, Dean smarter than that, and I'm smarter than him. Why do you think I'm his second?"

"Because you're smarter?"

"No, because I've lead armies into battle before. He needed me for my expertise. That and we're old friends."

"Then why aren't you camp leader?"

Castiel shook his head. "Dean's the talker. He's the one that gathered the first twenty people together and more after that. No, I just wanted to be back with my brothers and sisters. I have a rather large family."

Sam didn't say anything on the subject. He met many people who say they had a large family. Sam didn't know a lot about family. There were times he wished he did but that never happened.

"I wouldn't know," he said. "It was just me and my dad for a long time."

"What happened to your mother?" asked Castiel.

"She died when I was baby in a house fire. I don't remember her."

Castiel was silent for a long moment. "We've all lost someone here."

"I can see that," said Sam looking at the rag tag group of soldiers around him. They had the look of farmers, gangsters, demolition men and receptionists, not of warriors. But when each looked at Sam he saw the look of a person that felt a lot of pain.

"So what's chuck in all of this?" he asked. "He doesn't look like a soldier."

"Because he's not," said Castiel. "Chuck is…..Well, he's special. He's protected. We've tried to convince him to go to the refugee camp but he says he has to stay near Dean."

"Why?"

"Like I said, Chuck's special."

Castiel lead Sam into with a picture of a shower and unisex symbol on the door. The stalls for the toilets had doors and a curtain hung in front of each shower stalls.

"Fresh soap and shampoo in each stall, so just pick one," said Castiel. "Leave your clothes. Fresh ones and a towel will be waiting for you. I'll be back when you're done.

Sam wanted to run the first chance he got but the invitation of a real showers was too good to turn down. After uncountable days of heating water in basements of hotels and abandoned apartment buildings he was ready to get truly clean.

"Thank you, Castiel. Really, thanks."

"Call me Cas. Everyone does."

And with a smile he left Sam to wash. Sam went to the first stall and undressed. He left his clothes on a stool outside the shower, stepped in the stall and closed the curtain. He turned on the water, stepped in, and gasped. Not from the heat of the water but from the sudden relaxation. Sam hadn't felt this relaxed in over a decade, since he had been living off the grid.

Half an hour later after two washings Sam walked out of the stall cleaner and more relaxed than he ever had. A towel and a set of clothes were on the stool and the clothes he previously left were gone.

He picked up the towel and dried himself. He picked up the clothes and dressed. The clothes were green; green shirt, pants and a work shirt. It looked like an outfit Dean would have worn.

"You ready?" Sam turned to see Castiel standing by the door waiting for him. "Supper's ready. Gotta warn you, every day's a surprise."

"After what I'd been eating anything is better," said Sam smiling.

Castiel laughed. "You might want to rethink that after you've tasted what chief's cooked up."

Sam chuckled with him. Castiel lead Sam to the Mess Cabin. From the other side of the door voices could be heard. Castiel gave him one last smile before opening the door.

And it all stopped. Every eye in the room turned to look at Sam and Castiel as they walked in. Sam felt nervous with all the people staring at him. Some were watching him skeptically and other curious.

"What the hell you all staring at?" yelled Castiel. "It's like you've never seen a hungry man before."

Quietly everyone turned back to their plates, but some still watched Sam as he followed Castiel to the service bar.

"Some people can be dicks," said Castiel

"You sound like Dean," said Sam.

"Should. The man's been trying to humanize me for seven years. When I cursed for the first time he said I did it so horribly that I had to take lessons and he gave them to me."

"So you and Dean go way back, huh?"

"Since before the Apocalypse. Hey, Jim!" Castiel leaned against the counter. "How about something special for the new guy?" Jim didn't say anything as he set down two trays of meat and vegetables. "Thanks."

"So what is up with Dean?" asked Sam. "Why is he such a dick?"

"Complicated life, like always. But that's his story to tell, if he wants to, not mine. And I suggest not you ask him. Castiel sat down and Sam joined him.

"Why?"

"Like I said, that's his story."

Sam didn't say anything more. He knew a sad life story when he heard one. He had one of his own, but he didn't know which would have the bigger pity party, him or dean.

When Sam walked back to the cabin hours later after a "five cent tour" as Castiel called it, Dean was nowhere to be seen. His bunk was empty, made army style. A second bed was shoved against the opposite wall, a pillow and blanket set on it.

Sam walked over to the second bed and neatly made it. Stripping to his undershirt and boxers Sam climbed into bed and immediately fell asleep.

**TBC**

**-"Camp Justice" is the name of the camp and episode of Walker, Texas Ranger where Walker and Trivette worked with juvenile prisoners to show them a better life outside. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Heartbreak Ridge**

Sam woke the next morning to Dean walking into the cabin, the door slamming shut. In the dim light he saw Dean walk across the cabin and open a chest at the end of his bed.

"What time is it?" asked Sam yawning. It felt like he had just gotten to bed.

"0400. Why? Did you just go to bed?" The look Dean gave Sam was a bit smug. Sam glared at him.

"No, I don't have a clock here," he said. "Did you just get in?"

"Yes. Why? Were you worried?" again with the smug look. Sam wanted to hit it out of him but he settled with glaring at him again and covered himself again to sleep "Oh no, you out." Dean reached over and pulled the covers off Sam.

"Hey! What the hell?!"

"Up and at'em," said Dean. "No time to sleep. Got work to do."

"It's four in the morning," protested Sam.

"We've got morning exercises before breakfast and I want to see what you can do."

Sam stood and went to the chest at the end of his bed. "I can do a lot; shoot, hunt, recon….."

"I already have people for scouting. Not many. It's a dangerous job."

Sam smirked over at him as he pulled on a pair of pants. "They're not me," he said. "I can stand in plain sight and you won't be able to see me."

"In a crowded room maybe, but I still want to see what you can do."

Sam didn't say anything as he pulled on a shirt. He pulled out a comb and tugged it through his shoulder length hair.

"I would cut your hair," said Dean. "You'll lose your line of sight with all that in your face."

"I've never had a problem with it," said Sam putting the comb away. He tugged on his boots.

"You are to meet Sarge at the training area for Squad B training. Do you know where it is?"

"Castiel showed me," said Sam and he walked out, not want to hear what else Dean wanted to criticize about him.

Sam walked out of the cabin area to the obstacle course. It looked like it was constructed over a child's playground, but the jungle gym and monkey bars were replaced by mud pits with rope swings and pull up bars. All of it was centered in a track that ran around the length of a football field.

The rest of Squad B was already there, talking and stretching. All stopped when Sam walked up. Sam stopped and looked at them. There were five in the group, small groups to keep from being noticed in a large city. Sam didn't say anything. He just stood off to the side to stretch.

"All right, B Squad, line up!"

Sam looked up to see a very muscular man with dark skin, skin and eyes. He walked the line formed by six men and stopped in front of Sam. He looked Sam up and down like he was sizing a horse. Sam didn't say a word to him. He just looked back at him.

"For our newest member," called Sarge. "This is Squad B and I am called Sarge. I am not your friend. I am not a person you talk your troubles to over a glass of beer. I am your commanding officer! That is all that I am to you from this point forward."

By the way Sarge spoke Sam could tell he had been in the army and drilled soldiers before. The tone and snap in the voice wasn't something you could just act.

"How about our newest recruit goes first," said Sarge looking over at Sam. "Well, Wesson? What are you waiting for? A written invitation? Get up there!"

Sam walked to the first set of obstacles, ten tires set in a row. Easy. He quick stepped over the tires like a football player and made a swinging leap to the rope hanging over a mud pit. He landed lightly on his feet and climbed the wall. His hands pulled himself easily as his feet pushed him up. He was a monkey on the wall.

He ran across the wooden beam over an artificial pond like a cat and swung across the jungle bars two at a time. He leaped over a car placed there and crawled through a drain pipe half buried in the dirt and again under wires. He ran over to the last obstacle, a wound up machine with five padded pillows that swung back and forth.

Sam paused in front of this obstacle. He didn't want to get hit once. It would give the rest of the squad a reason to baby and humiliate him. He quickly stepped forward and stood on either side of the first pillows. He stepped forward again, and again, pausing every half second in front of each pillow. Once he felt a pad brush his back but he didn't fall. In less than a minute he completed the course and turned back to the squad.

The rest of the squad looked at him in shock, except for Sarge who stared at him. With the same look he had when he first looked at Sam in the lineup.

"Wesson, twenty laps!" he yelled.

"What?!" yelled a member of the Squad. "But, Sarge, that was a course record! He beat Winchester!"

"Do you want to join him, McDaniels?!" yelled Sarge and the man kept quiet. He did send Sam a sympathetic look. Sarge turned back to Sam. "Now, Wesson!"

Sam glared at Sarge and went to the track field made around the course. As he ran he watched the rest of the squad run the course. They took slightly longer then Sam did despite their familiarity with it. Sarge even had them run the course again instead of sending them on the track with Sam.

Sam completed his laps as the rest of the squad finished their fifth run through the course and he hunched over to catch his breath, his hands on his knees.

"All right, people, on the lap! One mile!" Sarge turned to Sam. "You too, Wesson!"

"Are you kidding me?!" yelled Sam. "I just ran four miles!"

"That wasn't a request, Wesson. That was an order. And that'll be another twenty for insubordination."

If Sam didn't hate Sarge before, he loathed him right at that moment. He ran the one mile with the squad and the other twenty as the rest of the squad showered and repaired guns or made bullets. Sarge didn't supervise their progress but he did keep a sharp eye on Sam. By the time Sam was finished, it was nearing the end of lunch hour.

"You're too slow! Again!" yelled Sarge.

"You're crazy!" yelled Sam. "I've been here since six! I haven't had breakfast, I'm hungry and you've had me going in circles for hours!"

"Dean told me to asset what your strengths are and to report back to him," said Sarge. "So far I've found nothing to report."

Sam was usually a very patient man but this man's attitude was really pushing it. "Listen here, _Sarge_, you can take your report and shove it up your…."

"Sam, there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you." Sam looked to see Castiel walking toward them, a smile bright on his face. A quick glance at Sarge and Sam saw the old soldier straighten at the sight of Dean's second. "I thought we were having lunch. Good Father, what happened to you? You're all sweaty."

"Sarge was running me, Cas," said Sam. Sarge glared at Sam for the familiarity Sam showed toward Castiel.

"Running you is right. To the ground," said Castiel turning to Sarge. "What the hell have you been doing to this poor boy, Sarge?!"

"Exactly what Dean told me to. I'm doing a report on him," said Sarge. Sam wanted to glare at him.

"Well, I'm going to send a report myself on you. You were supposed to asset him, not kill him!" Sam could have kissed Castiel. Sam didn't know much about military rule but he was pretty sure pummeling your commanding officer was a court martial. "Come on, Sam."

Sam stepped forward and would have fallen on his face if Castiel hadn't caught him.

"Whoa," said Castiel with a laugh. "Hold a minute to get your sea legs back."

Sam nodded and sat to keep his legs from buckling under him. He hadn't pushed himself this hard in years, but then he never ran twenty-one miles. Hitchhiked but never ran. His legs haven't shaken so hard since the fire his first gun.

When he felt his legs could support him san stood and limped off the course. He refused to look back at Sarge who was obviously still glaring at him.

"Been here less than a day and already you've made an enemy," said Castiel.

"Yeah, I'm good at that," said Sam humorously walking beside Castiel. "I just joined his squad and he took an immediate dislike to me."

"It must be because of how we found you." Sam looked at him curiously. "All alone in a city full of Croats. Pretty suspicious."

"You're not bothered by it."

"Oh no, I'm curious as hell about how you survived. But the Lord Father said, Judge others as how you will judge yourself."

Sam nodded. "Good advice."

Castiel looked at him seriously. "The words of the Father are always good advice."

Sam just nodded. He understood why people needed to believe in God. Sam believed in Him as well. Not because he had to but because he needed to. He met people who believed in God for a source of closure and others who thought God had left them to live the end of days alone. But when Sam looked in Castiel's eyes, Sam could tell he believed in God without question.

"You should tell Dean about Sarge," said Castiel. "He could get him to down his harassment."

"And it would make Sarge distrust me more," said Sam. "I don't want to talk to Dean. I'll handle this my way."

Castiel gave him a curious sympathetic look. He nodded and led Sam inside the cafeteria. The rest of lunch was spent with Castiel introducing Sam to the small group of soldiers left. They greeted Sam and told stories about the activities of the camp but Sam could sense he distance the war put on the soldiers.

"Marty, have you heard from Jane?" asked Castiel.

"She was fine last I heard but that was weeks ago," said Marty. "She said she was fine and was coming along splendidly according to the doctor."

"I'm sure you'll hear from her in the next supply run," said Castiel encouragingly. "It's only another couple of weeks."

Marty seemed happy about the encouragement and nodded. Castile patted him on the shoulder before leading Sam to a table.

"Is something wrong with Marty's wife?" asked Sam.

"Not wife, said Castiel taking a large bite from his sandwich and moaned. "Meat. Can never get enough of it."

"If not his wife, then girlfriend?"

Castile shook his head. "Nothing like that. You see that red tag around his neck?" Sam nodded. "That's a lottery ticket. A number is carved in it and a woman who doesn't know the man but wants a baby picks a ticket. A month later and bada-bing, bada-boom."

"All the men do this?" asked Sam,

"No," said Castiel with a chuckle. "Not all, but a lot. They can cop out anytime, but the end of the world gets people thinking about the future."

"What if a girl gets pregnant by accident? I noticed a lot of female officers."

"Then they have to go to the refugee camp. We have nothing to prevent pregnancy here. What's the point? The world's ending, the human race is dying. We have to continue it some way. And the women don't care. Some come back after a year."

"And the others?"

"Stay to raise children. Travel to the cap is slow and dangerous. Travel through towns populated mostly by Croats and with a small contingent of soldiers. The supply trains goes every month or so."

"The supply train?"

"We can't grow a lot of food here while fighting Croats. We keep moving, never in the same district long for more than a year. Can't take any chances."

Sam nodded. No one had time to grow a garden or raise cows while fighting in a war. On the outside he hardly had time to gather food while hiding.

"What if one of the trains was ambushed? What then?"

"That's what storage is for. We have enough for several months." Castiel looked quickly around and down to his meal of fried beans and stale bread. Sam looked down at his bowl and back at the man.

"Castiel, how long since the supply train left?" he asked.

"It's just been a couple of weeks," said Castiel reassuringly.

"How long?"

Castile looked anxious. "Sam, Dean doesn't want it getting out to the rest of the troop. Moral us low as it is. We can't have them thinking we're going to starve to death,"

"It's been more than a couple of weeks," said Sam.

"But it's nothing to worry about. We've got plenty in stores."

For the man's sake Sam hoped they did. The rest of the meal was spent mostly in silence, both refraining from speaking about the past. Castile did speak of his and Dean's the first few days of the Apocalypse.

"We traveled for days, gathering our surviving friends. We eventually made it here. But it wasn't without costs."

"You lost someone?" asked Sam. Castiel nodded.

"Bobby Singer. The man who helped us get here."

"I know him. Good man. Good Hunter. Taught my dad and me a lot."

"He was a great man." Castiel looked down at the plate. "He refused to leave his house. Stubborn man. We would visit him once a week, try to convince him to leave, but of course he refused. Last time we saw him was the day we buried him. Shook Dean up bad. Guy was like a second father to him."

"I'm sorry." And he was. He hadn't even thought about Bobby after the Apocalypse. Now he felt bad. Bobby was like a second father to him too. The closest thing he had to an uncle. Maybe someday he'd visit Bobby's grave.

"What about you" asked Castiel. "What was your time like after the end of days?"

"Same as yours. Traveled, ran, and hid. More running, more hiding."

Castiel laughed. "I know this."

And the rest of the time was spent talking about philosophical books and historical figures heads. Sam was surprised to find how knowledgeable Castiel was on the subjects. He suspected the man was a scholar.

When Sam finished a young man in his early twenties walked up. He was young and still looked like a teenager.

"Ah, Ben, there you are," said Castiel. "Met our new recruit?"

"Well, Dean won't let me do anything else," said Ben and turned to Sam. "Hi, I'm Ben Braeden."

"Sam Wesson," said Sam shaking his hand. "A bit young, aren't you?"

"Old enough to be out of camp," protested Ben. "But still young enough to not go on raids," said Castiel. "Ben's good but still young. He's going to go over your sharp shooting."

"Don't worry, I'll go easy on you," said Ben with a smile. Sam smiled back.

"With that I leave you in good hands," said Castiel picking up his empty bowl and leaving the table.

"So how long have you been here?" Sam asked as they walked to the shooting range.

"Only a few months, but I've known Dean since I was eight."

"That's a long time."

"I never knew my dad, so I used to wish he was him but he said he would make a crappy dad."

"Where is your mother?" asked Sam. Ben paused as he kept walking.

"At the refugee camp. Here we are." They stopped at a crudely made shooting range. It was set up like a carnival with air guns and plastic pellets and paper on ply board targets. There was a wooden wall behind the targets.

"Dean doesn't want us wasting bullets, not even for practice," said Ben. "We have to work with these. The younger recruits are charged with cleaning them up at the end of the day, but don't always fire them all."

"These will do," said Sam picking up a replicated air rifle. It felt heavy in his hands and that was oddly reassuring. He lifted the rifle butt to his shoulder and fired.

And twenty targets went down in less than a minute. Ben was shocked at the skill Sam shot with the rifle and picked up the 9 mm air gun. He held it in both hands, his right hand on the trigger and left under the butt, and fired. The last ten targets went down.

"Whoa," said Ben.

"If you think that's impressive, you should see me sniping," said Sam.

"Why Dean doesn't have you on his squad I don't know," said Ben. "You're on the same level as he is, maybe more."

"Why don't you ask him," said Sam setting the gun don. After a small sound of amusement at the thought Ben lead Sam to the gun locker and timed him while Sam field striped a side arm and an automatic rifle. It took less than a minute.

"You're good," said Ben. "Freakishly good."

"I'll take that as a compliment," said Sam trying to ignore the spasms in his legs. The spasms were small so far but Sam knew they would get worse.

"You should. I wasn't joking when I said you were as good as Dean. You're really good."

"Thanks, Ben."

"That's a compliment not many can beat." Both turned to see Lucy walking up. "Castiel told me about the marathon Sarge put you in. Got a cupboard full of tub full of ice water waiting for you in the infirmary."

"But what about…."

"Cas said it was okay. Ben, give Dean your report. I got it from here."

"Sure, Luce. See you, Sam."

"Bye, Ben," said Sam watching him leave. Only when Ben was out of ear shot did he gasp in pain and grab his aching leg. "Oh, God!"

"Muscle spasm?" asked Lucy and Sam nodded. "How you could endure the pain is beyond me."

"I'm used to them, but that's often frequent breaks, not twenty miles in a row."

"Here, I'll help you to the medical cabin." And she slid and arm under his shoulder and one of his arms around hers. Together they walked to the Medical cabin and Sam slid into a tub full of ice water. He sighed in shock at the cold.

"I'm heating up water to help with the relaxation," said Lucy walking in. "And I'm going to tell Dean to keep you off squad duty for a while."

"But, Lucy…."

She held up a finger. "Ah. Butt is the north end of a south bound mule. Doctor's orders. And I order you to stay on your butt."

"Just don't tell Dean," pleaded Sam. She sighed.

"If he does find out, it won't be from me," she said and left.

**TBC**

**-Heartbreak Ridge is a Clint Eastwood movie about training and fighting in the Korean War.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Jarheads **

Sam spent the rest of the night in the medical cabin. After the blessed bath Lucy prepared for him that left Sam red skinned from the heat she rubbed his muscles down with a muscle relaxant. From the crease in the bottle Sam could tell it wasn't the first time Lucy used it.

"Soldiers get sore muscles all the time," she said. "If it's not muscles it's stitches and if it's not stitches it's surgery."

"Being a doctor sure sounds hard," said Sam and Lucy laughed.

"I'm not a doctor. I was a nurse. My father was a surgeon and wanted me to be a nurse till I finished medical school. To hell with what I wanted to do with my life."

"What did you want to be?"

"Broadway singer. You should have seen me, on the streets singing everything from "Oklahoma" to "Rent" to "Wicked" hoping to get an audition, but…." She shrugged. "Like Dean says. Shit happens."

"I bet you were good," said Sam with a smile. Lucy smiled back.

"You bet your cute ass I was," she said.

Then Lucy pushed him on the bed, not trusting him to make it to his cabin without falling. Sam lay on the bed and dreamt of the past.

_ "You left when I need you most! You walked away, Sam. You walked away!" yelled Sam's father in Sam's face. _

_ "You were the one who said I couldn't come back! You closed the door, Dad, not me!"_

_ "If I had known you'd be dumb enough to leave I would have kept a tighter leash on you!"_

_ "Tighter leash?! Dad, the leash you had on me was so tight I was choking!"_

_ "A son like you should be thankful for everything I do for you!"_

_ Sam was trying very hard to not hit his father. "Do what, dad?! What do you do that is so important?! You never tell me anything! Where you go, what you do. What do you do for me, Dad? Tell me. What?!"_

_ "More than a father should do for his son."_

_ Sam turned to keep from hitting his father, and now saw his father lying on a hospital bed, a doctor standing over him with defibrillator paddles and several nurses passing syringes and IV's around. A heart monitor was hooked up to his chest and a long steady screech was coming from it. _

"_Dad?"_

_ The doctor sighed. "Call it. Time of death 10:41 am. September 28, 2006._ _Cause of death: unknown."_

Sam woke with a sobbing gasp. He used a corner of the bed sheet to wipe the sweat from his eyes and tried to calm the shivers that came over him. He groaned when a muscle spasm hit his leg.

"Unfortunately the only cure for that is movement," said Lucy walking in. she took one look at him and sighed. "Nightmare?"

"We're living in one," he said and smiled at her. "You a comedian too?"

Lucy laughed. "You're lucky you're cute. Go and move around. I suggest a lap around the tracks and possibly a round in the ring. I'll let Dean know your assessment, but I don't think it's necessary.

"Why's that?" asked Sam groaning as he moved to sit on the side of the bed and put on his boots.

"Cause you can hit the broad side of a barn. When Dean started this camp one out of six of us could actually hit near the target. Dean's quote is, if you can't do it with one shot, don't do it at all."

"I suppose that's a good thing," said Sam standing up. His legs protested but he forced himself to stand. "I better get training out of the way.'

"I still want you to take it easy," ordered Lucy. "Take the afternoon off, and I don't care what Dean says. I don't want you to pull a muscle because I don't want you laid up for weeks."

"As the doctor ordered," said Sam with a smile and left. He walked to the obstacle course and jogged on the track. Another squad was jogging ahead of him. The jogging kept his aching legs from hurting more and cleared his thoughts.

Sam knew he would have to leave soon. He couldn't stay around near any camp for very long. It wasn't that he didn't like people, some were very nice, and it was just safer that was. Sam had gotten a good look at the perimeter. He could sneak away easily.

But why? The people here were nicer to him than any of the others he tried to stay at. Even the leaders of this group seemed to accept him, but Sam would be suspicious of a leader who wasn't cautious of a stranger in camp.

"Yo, Sam!" Sam turned to see Castiel walking toward him. "Dean wants to talk to you."

"All right," he said and walked off the track. He followed Castiel to the Big Cabin. Dean was there looking over a map as Chuck argued with him.

"Dean, you have to look at these inventories," he said. "Ammunition is low."

"We'll have the squads make more," said Dean looking over the map. "District A is getting more Croats. Squads A and C need to in the field."

"Both won't do any good if we don't have the materials for the ammunition to back them up!"

Dean gave him an intense stare. "Tell you what, Chuck. You do your job and I'll do mine."

"That's the problem," chuck muttered walking away. "I'm doing both our jobs."

Dean followed Chuck's exit before turning to Sam and Castiel. "Sammy…."

"Sam."

"What did you think of your first day?" asked Dean.

"All right so far," said Sam as Dean walked to the fridge and pulled out a beer. "But I've had worst days."

"Where?" asked Dean handing Sam a beer. "Want one, Cas?"

"No, I've got a meeting of my own but later, all right, Dean?"

"Sure," Dean and Castiel left. "So where have you had worst first days?"

"Thanks for the beer," said Sam dodging the question. Dean could obviously see it and left it alone.

"So what do you think of Sarge?" asked Dean after a moment.

"He's a real task-master," said Sam. "I think he wanted a good assessment. I hope I passed."

"From what I hear, you beat my record in the obstacle course and came close to my score on the shooting range," said Dean. "From my opinion, you passed whether or not you can do hand to hand."

"So I can skip that challenge," said Sam smiling at Dean, "or I get booted off the island."

"Nobody gets booted off," said Dean. "No matter how badly they fight."

"Sarge seems like a good captain," said Sam. "Was he in the army?"

"You can tell."

"My dad was…." Started Sam then stopped. Dean looked at Sam and cleared his throat.

"So was my dad. He was a Marine. Taught me everything I know."

"My dad as well." Sam paused for a moment in thought. "You didn't ask me here just to talk to me about my assessment."

"Got me figured out in just a few minutes. You're good," he said sipping his beer.

"My father was a great teacher," said Sam taking a sip from his. "What else did you want to know?"

"How the hell you survived in that hell hole," said Dean seriously. Sam shrugged.

"Another thing I'm good at, hiding." Sam finished his beer and set the bottle on the table. "I have to get to the ring. Still have one more test to finish."

"I'll go with you," said Dean finishing his and following Sam out. They walked in silence to the boxing ring set off to the side of the obstacle course. Two men were pounding on each other as the rest of the team cheered and Sarge watched.

"Come on, Alan, come on!" cheered Danny Woods. Alan Yale landed a punch on Stephan Cale, hard enough to bruise but soft enough to not break bones. Cheering along with Danny was Carl and Todd Silver, twin brothers from Denver, Colorado. Sam met them on his run around the track.

"Sam!" yelled Todd, which caught the attention of his brother. "How are you doing?" asked both.

"I'm better," said Sam as the rest of the squad gathered around their newest member, even Alan and Stephan who stopped their practice. All except Sarge and Ethan Carr, a hard faced man with a body like a football player. "Really, I'm all right."

"I heard you were to stay in bed for a week," said Stephan.

"Obviously not since I'm walking around." He smiled at the group. "So who was winning?"

"I was!" said Alan and Stephan.

"Soldiers. Atten-hut!" yelled Sarge and the squad lined up. "Disgraceful little maggots! With all your chattering you failed to realize your C.O. was here. What do you have to say about that, maggots?!"

"Terribly sorry, sir!" the group yelled. Dean held up his hand.

"It's all right, Sarge. We only run like an army but this isn't one," he said. "At ease, men." The group relaxed. Sam stood, even though he was tired enough to sit. A look at Ethan Carr and Sarge kept some military performance. "Sarge, how are your men?"

"Ready to kick some Croat ass, sir!" said Sarge loudly.

"I have no doubt of that," said Dean. He looked between Alan and Stephen. "You both look well in shape. Do you mind if Sammy here works the ring for a bit?"

"Sam," snapped Sam unconsciously. Sarge and Ethan glared at him for the outburst.

"No, sir!" said Alan and Stephan. Sarge walked up to Sam.

"Wesson, to the ring!" said Sarge angrily in Sam's ear. Sam glared at him before walking in the dirt covered ring. Sarge looked up and down the line before looking at Ethan. "Carr, in the ring!"

"No need," said Dean shrugging off his jacket. "I'll fight him."

"Sir, I strongly protest," sputter Sarge. "You don't have to lower yourself by fighting this maggot."

Dean glared at Sarge as he un-strapped his gun. "I'll pretend you didn't say that," he said.

He handed his things to Alan and walked in the ring. Sarge walked around the ring and pulled Sam aside.

"Whatever you do, you will lose to him," he hissed in Sam's ear. Sam looked at Dean before back at Sarge with a smirk.

"I don't think that's what Dean wants," he said and easily jerked out of Sarge's grip.

Sam walked back into the ring, ignoring Sarge's angry hiss. He stood in front of Dean, waiting for the fight to start. There was no bell, no starter pistol and no referee shouting "Begin!" the fight started by the will of both men. Sam charged and grappled at Dean, trying to throw him on the ground, but Dean threw him off and threw a kick at Sam. Sam dodged the kick and threw a punch. Dean dodged. Dena threw one back. Sam blocked and kicked. Dean grabbed his foot, unbalanced Sam, and Sam fell to the ground. Sam groaned on impact.

"Is that all you got?" asked Dean. "I thought your father taught you everything you know."

"Shut up," growled Sam, struggling against Dean holding him down. A glance at Sarge and Ethan showed their smug grins. Sam's face went red with humiliation.

"I think your father was getting rusty in his old age."

Sam snapped. He yelled, grabbed Dean's arm, hooked a leg around Dean's waist and pulled. Sam pretzel Dean under him in the same position Dean had Sam in.

"I guess not," said Dean and looked up at Sam, and froze. Sam's eyes were alight with rage fire it was would have struck a man down.

"Never talk about my father like that," he said furious.

He threw Dean off him and walked out of the ring and out of the obstacle course. He walked dear the tree line at the edge of the compound and started pounding on the nearest tree, yelling at the top of his lungs. Images of his father lying dead in the hospital room flashed through his mind. The truth he tried to deny coming back to him.

His father died because of him. Because of a stupid mistake. He was the one who should be dead, not his father. It should have been him!

He didn't know how long he was hitting the tree but when he was done his knuckles were torn and bloody and his hands were bruised.

"I'm sure whatever the tree did it wasn't its fault." Sam turned to see Lucy smiling at him with her hands on her hips.

"It wasn't the tree I was mad at," said Sam cradling his bruised knuckles.

"What were you mad at," asked Lucy and Sam laughed.

"Sorry, Councilor, but your Betazoid powers won't work on me."

Lucy chuckled. "Cute, but seriously if you want to talk I'm here. As a counselor and as a friend." Sam nodded and Lucy smiled at him. "Come on, supper time."

He followed Lucy to the Mess Cabin. After grabbing a tray of meatloaf, rolls and butter they joined Castiel and met Squad B. Ethan was sitting at the other side of the table, alone and giving anyone who came near him a cold stare. When Lucy and Sam sat down he gave Sam a colder look.

"What's his problem?" asked Sam nodding his head toward Ethan.

"He's been like that since he came," said Todd. "We think it's because he spent so much time outside."

"See those?" Carl pointed to the knife scars on Ethan's arms and face. "From Croats he attacked head on."

"He sounds hard core," said Sam.

"Oh he is," said Stephan. "So far the only thing he does is make threats and degrades others if he can. It's nothing but shit anyway."

"Wesson, with me!" yelled Sarge making everyone jump. Sam sighed and got up. He walked to Sarge and followed him outside. He led Sam around the back of the cabin and slammed Sam against the wall when they were out of sight. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Excuse me?" said Sam trying to push Sarge off but the older man had his arm against Sam's Adam's apple, making it hard for Sam to breathe or move.

"What gives you the right to act so familiar with Dean?" asked Sarge pushing Sam against the wall. Sam chokes but managed to draw a breath.

"I figured he hated formality," said Sam. Sarge slammed him against the wall again.

"You will show him respect. You will request a change in cabin. Dean shouldn't have to share with a maggot like you."

Something snapped in Sam and he gave Sarge a piercing stare.

"Let me go," he said in an echoic voice. Sarge's eyes became unfocused and he let go of Sam. Go about your day. Eat, sleep, and when you wake up you won't remember talking to me.

"I understand," said Sarge and he walked away, his eyes still unfocused. Sam sighed heavily.

"Sorry, Andy," he said and walked around the cabin. He was about to enter the Mess Cabin when Lucy walked out.

"Oh good, Sam. I need to check your knuckles," she said with a laugh. "Some doctor I am. My hunger got the better of me."

Sam looked down at his bruised knuckles. He didn't even feel the pain earlier. Maybe it was because of the adrenaline from what Dean said about his father, or from making Sarge leave him alone.

"Yeah, me too. Adrenaline," he said with a laugh. She laughed.

"Well, let's get you fixed up."

And they walked to the Medical Cabin. There she treated his bruised knuckles and told Sam of her childhood in Arkansas.

"You know, the only one who'll talk about this," he said as she wrapped his knuckles. "Why is that?"

"Because they're memories," said Lucy with a shrug. "Nothing's more important the memories. But no one want to talk about the past anymore."

"They're just depressed. But if you do want to talk about the past, come to me."

She smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks, Sam. Now get to bed. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you later, Lucy," he said and walked out of the cabin. It wasn't till later that he reached Dean's cabin, after a walk around the compound. When he walked in he found Dean sitting at the table, maps spread out on it and a beer set in the corner. Dean didn't look at the map or touch the beer. He didn't even look up at Sam when he walked in and stood in the doorway.

"Sorry for what I said about your father," said Dean and Sam scoffed.

"Wow, that must have tasted bad in your mouth," he said. "Why did you?"

"I wanted to see what you would do under pressure. I don't need people going soft on me."

"Trust me, that won't happen," said Sam. "Apology accepted."

And he went to bed. After undressing to his underclothes he crawled into bed. A glance at the table told Sam Dean had left for the night. Sam sighed, turned over and fell asleep.

**TBC**

**-"Jarhead" is a movie about marines starring Jake Gyllenthall and Jamie Foxx. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Walk About**

_ "Sam…." Sam looked over on the bed and saw Jessica sitting on it, waiting for him like she always did. "I missed you, Sam." _

_ "Jess?" Sam walked over, reached up and touched her cheek, as if making sure she was real. He touched soft skin. He hugged her. "Oh, Jess! I've missed you so much!" _

_ Jess smiled at him and ran her fingers through his hair. "Oh, look at you. You've changed."_

_ "The world's changed, and it's my fault." He looked away, almost ashamed to look at her._

_ "You're right. It is your fault." Sam looked up at her and jumped off the bed. Her face was burnt to a crisp. Flecks of skin were hanging off and bone peeked underneath. "Just like my death."_

_ "No! I'm sorry, Jess! I'm sorry!"_

_ She stood and walked toward. Sam backed away from her._

_ "Why didn't you warn me?!" she yelled at him. "Why didn't you tell me what you were?!"_

_ "I'm sorry!" he yelled again. _

"_I'm dead because of you!" She took a step closer to him and burst into flames. Sam screamed in surprise._

"_Jess!" _

"_Sam!" Someone was shaking him but he couldn't take his eyes away from Jessica's burning body. "Sam, wake up!"_

_Wake up? Was he sleep? It felt real. He could feel the fire on his skin. How could he feel that if he was asleep?_

"_Damn it, Sam. Wake up!"_

_ The voice was familiar. In some ways more familiar then Jessica's, but who was it?_

"Sam!"

Sam gasped awake and looked up to see Dean leaning over him, trying to wake him up.

"Can you get your face out of mine?" said Sam annoyed. Dean stood and Sam got up. "You're up early."

"I decided to get an early start and found you thrashing like a fish on land," said Dean. "Bad dream?"

"My business," said Sam getting dressed. "I have to go before Sarge court marshals and hangs me."

"There have been a few things I want to change," said Dean as Sam walked to the door. "Sam, don't let Sarge get to you."

"The only get to me when I let them," said Sam and left. He walked to the rest rooms and took a quick shower. Before joining Squad B on the field. A glance at Sarge showed Sam that his Slight Push didn't harm the quad leader at all. He still snapped at Sam and praised Ethan. The rest of the team greeted Sam enthusiastically.

"Sam, our man, what's up?" asked the Twins.

"Hey, guys," said Sam and turned to the rest.

"Line up!" yelled Sarge and they got in their places, Ethan at the front of the line. They ran around the track and went through the obstacle course before going to the Mess for kitchen duty.

"It may surprise some of you," said Sarge glancing at Sam, "but kitchen duty is very important. We cook the food that keeps our soldiers alive. I'm sure some of you think it's beneath you." Again a glance at Sam. "But here in this community it's a job shared by everyone. Get to work!"

They did. Each member had a job. Carl was slipping pancakes, Danny frying sausages and Alan the bacon. Ethan was making the orange juice as Todd and Stephan set out the plates. Sam was stuck with washing dishes.

"Sarge needs to lay off on you, man," said Alan as he set a pan in the large sink. "It's not right the way he treats you."

"I know," said Sam. "He's testing my limit."

"There's testing and there's trying to kill you. You have to tell Dean. He'll help."

"No!" said Sam sharply looking up at Alan in fright, frightening Alan in turn. Sam looked back at the sink. "No. I'm fine."

"Don't let Sarge and Ethan rattle you. They have a dominance thing going."

Sam huffed a laugh. "I don't doubt that."

"There's a rumor that Sarge wants to take over the camp," said Carl walking up to them.

This surprised Sam. "You're kidding."

"It's just a rumor," said Carl. "Dean had been leading this place since the Apocalypse came about. No one wants another."

"Everyone trusts Dean," said Sam. "I've only known him a few days and I do."

"Silver, Yale, back to work," yelled Sarge. "Leave the maggot alone. Any more talk and all three of you will be sending time in solitary."

Carl and Alan hurried back to their stations and Sam went back to the sink, scrubbing a burnt piece of sausage on a pan. Breakfast was already being served to the first group of people and the smell was making Sam hungry. He didn't let his growling stomach distract him through it did give him reproachful looks from Sarge and humorous one's from the Twins.

Finally three hours later, Sam was finished with the last dish and was allowed to eat his breakfast before preparing for Lunch. Drying his pruned hands he turned and was surprised to find Alan, Stephan, Danny and the Twins sitting on their chairs waiting for him.

"You guys waited? You didn't have to do that."

"A squid sticks together," said Stephan. "No matter what."

"First thing Sarge taught us," said Danny. "Only he and Ethan seemed to have forgotten it."

"But we haven't," said Carl. "Come on, Lucy has out food in the hall."

With a smile Sam walked out into the Mess Cabin and found Lucy sitting at a table with another woman next to her. She was pretty with blonde hair and blue eyes. She looked to be a strong woman and comfortable sitting with Lucy. On the table were eight plates two already in front of Lucy and her guest. The squad sat down on the table, four on each side. Sam and Stephan sat with Lucy.

"Sam, this is Alli," said Lucy introducing her guest. Alli held out her hand to him.

"Hey, Sam. Lucy's been telling me a lot about you," she said shaking Sam's hand. "So much so I'm almost jealous."

"Why," asked Sam looking at Lucy.

"No reason," said Lucy giving Alli a look. "No reason at all."

And conversation went to a different course. They talked in how they came to Camp Armageddon, as it was nicknamed. The Twins came when Dean's radio signal went through from Denver.

"Very Terminator," said Sam.

"Hey, he was our John Conner for his Judgment day," said Todd.

Stephan had been in Boston at the time when the Apocalypse started.

"Both my mom and my sister came at me with knives," he said. "Only my training in combat kept me from becoming one of them. I met Alan along the way and we came here."

"I was with Dean a week after his message," said Danny. "I live in Detroit my whole life. To see it fall apart like it did nearly killed me."

"Do you've known Dean a long time?" asked Sam, almost inadvertently becoming interested in the camp leader's history.

"Not really. Aside from Castiel and Chuck he's not close to anyone, not even the women."

"Not these women," said Lucy and Alli. Everyone except Sam laughed.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Can we please tell him," said Carl to Lucy and Alli.

"It'll save him from a lot of disappointment," said Todd.

Lucy sighed and shared a look with Alli before turning back to the Twins. "All right. Tell him."

"Tell me what?" asked Sam.

"They're bed mates," said Stephan. "Lucy and Alli. Been going on about two and a half years."

"Has it been that long?" asked Alli sarcastically.

She turned to Sam. "You mad?"

"No but it explains a lot," said Sam.

"Like what?' asked Lucy.

"Like why my charms didn't work on you." The group busted out laughing. Sam laughed with them.

"Glad to see you making friends." The group looked toward the door and saw Dean standing in the doorway. They all stood to attention. "At ease. I hate formality. I'm gonna have a talk with Sarge."

"Is there anything we can help you with, Dean?" asked Sam.

"Just checking up on you. Newest members get overwhelmed the first few days."

"I'm doing fine. Thanks."

Dean nodded. "Good. Castiel suggested you visit him sometime he would like to talk philosophy to someone intelligent. Said it had been a long time since he did, and I didn't ask him how long."

"I would like to as well," said Sam more at ease. "I find him interesting to talk to, but I don't know if I can find the time today."

Dean shrugged. "It wasn't really important." He paused as if searching for more to say but finding none. "Well, good day."

"Good day," they said and watched him leave.

"That was weird," said Carl.

"What do you mean," asked Sam.

"He's never interested in the newbies," said Stephan. "Which means you're different."

"No I'm not!" Sam said throwing those words a bit too quickly and with a frightened tone. He cleared his throat and looked down at his plate. "I'm not different."

"Hey, different is a good things," said Lucy putting a hand on his arm. "It's what makes us human."

Human? Sam didn't know if he was. The things he could do definitely wasn't human.

"Sam, are you call right?" asked Lucy shaking his arm. "You kind of spaced out for a minute."

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said with a reassuring smile.

"We'll we've to get back to the kitchen," said Alan. "We've got work to do."

They went back to the kitchen to cook lunch. Sam was washing dishes again. When it was time for a break between lunch and drinks preparations Sam walked to Castiel's cabin.

He was surprised when he walked in. All around the cabin were hangings of spiritual symbols and a Buddhist alter was against a wall. Candles were placed around the room and frankincense filled the air from an incense holder. Castiel was sitting cross legged in the middle of a circle of candles. Eyes closed and seemed to be meditating. A group of men and women, mostly women, were sitting around him in the same position.

"Hello, Sam," said Castiel without opening his eyes. He opened them to look at Sam and smiled. "Have you come to join us?"

"Uh, no," said Sam uneasy. "I came to see if you needed help with anything."

Castiel smile widened. "Of course. Ladies. Gentlemen." The group looked at him. "We'll continue this at another time. Thank you for coming." The group silently left, some with a look of disappointment. Castile turned back to Sam. "What is it do you wish to talk about? Philosophy? Literature? History?"

And for the next hour they debated on all three subjects and ore. Sam was impressed on Castiel's knowledge despite his outward appearance. It was after a few minutes in their history debate that Sam that Castiel talked about history as if he had observed it himself, such as the fall of the Caesars and the discovery of America.

"Dean was right, you are a fascinating person to talk to," said Sam after a long discussion on the myths and facts of the Trojan War. Castile looked surprised at the mention of Dean.

"Dean asked you here?" he asked. Sam was surprised at Castiel's surprise.

"Yes, is that wrong?"

Castile shook his head. "No, just surprising. Dean hasn't sent someone to me since Kyle Johnson decided to kill himself. He gave Sam a questioning look. "You're not suicidal are you?"

"No," said Sam with a shake of his head. "Why is that surprising?"

"Dean isn't known to be emotional. Something about you got him interested."

Sam shrugged, hoping it didn't make him look nervous. "I don't see how. I'm no on interesting."

Castiel gave him a look, not a hard one but an interested one. "We'll see. You never know."

Sam had to smile. Somehow a talk with Castiel seemed to make him feel calm. There was almost an angelic feel to Castiel's presence.

"Have you met Chuck yet?" asked Castiel.

"I did try to once but he closed the door in my face," said Sam. "What's his story?"

"He's our historian and archivist," said Castiel. "He keeps our, quote on quote, library. Can't shoot a gun and can't cook a thing that's not microwavable and goes through a six pack in half a day. But he sure as hell can write. We had no place else for him."

"You have a library?" asked Sam suddenly interested. Castiel had to laugh.

"Oh, you're one of those people," he said and Sam laughed with him.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm good with guns and book smart. A bad combination."

"No," said Castiel shaking his head. "No, no. that's a good thing. It means you can thing quick during a fight and get others out in a hurry. Guns and smarts is a good thing."

"What kind of books do you have?"

"Every book we can find, including movies, VHS and DVD, CDs, cassettes magazines, comic books, graphic novels. Chuck is very adamant in preserving all things written and documented."

"Think you could help me get in?" asked Sam with a hopeful smile. Castiel laughed again.

"Come on, Hippatia," he said. "Let's see what the Lord and Master of the Library has to say."

They got up and left to walk to Chuck's cabin. Sam was very glad to get off the floor. He cushions were soft but it didn't take long for the legs to cramp. The walk loosened the numbness and Sam was happy when he didn't have to pretend to not limp anymore.

They walked to Chuck's cabin and saw it piled with empty beer cans and bottles of beer. Over grown weeds covered the steps and a Flamingo and flower pin-wheel was placed in front of the cabin.

"Don't expect a welcome mat," said Castiel. Sam glanced at the ground and saw a welcome mat. Sam softly chuckled. Castiel knocked and a few moments later Chuck opened the door.

"Cas, what are you doing here?" he asked nervously and looked at Sam. "With him?"

"College boy wants to look through your collection," said Castiel smiling. "Don't worry. He doesn't bite."

"Yet," said Chuck. "No admittance."

He tried to close the door but Castiel held it open. Sam couldn't see the look on the other man's face but whatever it was surprised Chuck.

"I want to talk to you," said Castiel. "Privately."

He pushed Chuck inside. Sam heard a muffled argument on the others side. He heard words like "him" and "the devil" but it was too muffled to make out. It seemed to Sam that Chuck didn't trust him. After a few minutes the doors opened again and Castiel smiled at him.

"The library is opened."

Sam walked in and saw shelves crammed with books and books covering every surface of the cabin. Chairs and tables stacked with books and books were set on the window sills. Chuck was fluttering around a desk shuffling papers and collecting pens.

"Don't bend, rip tear or dog ear the books," he said without turning around. "Books are not to leave the cabin. If you want to keep reading there are books marks. Put everything back the way you found it."

Sam looked at Castiel. "What did he mean? That I didn't bite him yet?"

Castiel shrugged him off. "Don't mind him. He's a friendly cat, as Dean would say. He screams whenever there's trouble."

"But he doesn't like me," said Sam picking up a book.

Castiel moistened his lips. "Do you know why Chuck stays here? Why he has Dean's trust?"

"I thought Dean was a nice guy, taking in a bench warmer." Sam flipped through a book.

"Chuck has a gift. He can see things before they happen," said Castiel. "He's the only one who can."

"Not the only one," said Sam under his breathes.

"What did you say?" asked Castiel.

"Nothing," said Sam nervously. He picked up a book. "_The Count of Monte Cristo_. First edition. This is a rare find."

"Yeah, Lucy had that with her when she came in. She gave it to Chuck so other could enjoy it." He smiled at Sam. "I'll leave you to it."

He left. Sam pick up the book ad prepared to sit down, but stopped and walked over to Chuck. He was writing hurriedly on paper with a pen. A hazard stack of paper was pushed against the wall in a sense of order. A typewriter rested against the wall in front of the window.

"Why don't you use the typewriter?' asked Sam.

"Broke," Chuck stuttered without looking up. "I prefer writing by hand anyway."

Both were in an awkward silence.

"You don't need to be afraid of me, Chuck," said Sam.

"I-I-I'm not afraid," said Chuck nervously.

"Then what are you nervous about?"

Chuck stopped writing and looked up at Sam.

"I'm not afraid of you," said Chuck. "I'm afraid of what I see."

He turned back to his writing. Sam decided not to bother him anymore and went to a chair. He set the books on the floor, placed a cushion on the chair, sat down, and began to read.

**TBC**

**-"Walk about" is an Australian term for when someone goes on a journey for self-revelation.**

**-Hippatia was a Librarian in ancient Egypt who died during the invasion protecting the scrolls. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Camp Rock**

The next day Sarge forgot his misgivings with Sam and trusted the newest member no different than usual. This was just fine with Sam. It was what he wanted when he Pushed Sarge. He didn't like having that particular ability but sometimes it was better than answering too many questions. He was also glad that it still can work despite the lack of practice. He hated to say it but he may have to use it to get out of the camp.

Sam was still planning on leaving the human camp. It was too dangerous for him to stay, and now that he had a good look around he may have figured it out. He just needed to find an opening but it wasn't easy. Dean had to campground locked up tight then the Louver. There was no way he was going to leave without careful planning.

He tried to distance himself from everyone but his group hardly left him alone for a second and Sam found himself growing closer to them. They told stories about their lives and family and pushed Sam to tell his but Sam refused, instead he learned more about them.

He learned Lucy didn't know she was into women till she met Allie two years ago and that Alli had been a lesbian her whole life, and they only lived a block from each other. Danny was a journalist while being a writer on the side. Alan's hobby was wood carving and after a few examples, was very good at it. Stephan also had an odd talent despite his military background. He etches into metal and showed Sam a picture he made of his late wife. Sam had to admit the realistic. Lastly he learned the Twins weren't technically twins. They were born at night. Carl was born at eleven fifty five and Todd at twelve o'one. Both would have been born two minutes apart if complications on Todd's birth hadn't happened. They still celebrate the same birthday, finish thoughts and sentence and did everything together like most twins did.

Sam learned little of Ethan Carr. The man was of few words. Any time a Croat or Armageddon was mentioned he scowled and saw something nasty. Sam knew everyone hated the crazies outside this temporary haven but the look in Ethan's eyes was murderous. The only respect he showed was toward Dean and with Sarge it was alert.

Sam wanted to look around the perimeter more by every time he turned around he ran into Dean, Castiel or someone from his squad, each with contemplation. He was never left completely alone. Someone was always watching. Even so he managed to look around and found that his only chance was a small whole near the Impala. All he needed was an opening

In the few days he spent in the came the more he felt alive then when his father died. Alive because for the first time he found a group of people that weren't tortured souls that lived for the momentary thrill of killing, or a Croat out in the cities. Alive because of the simple things, like retelling a story multiple times to the point of annoyance and tell it again. They relive memories of times lost and sometimes cry over them. Sam had more than his share of painful memories, more than his squad. When it came to recounting how the y lost their families they comforted each other, something that Sam never done. Someone would cry and they would pat each other's back and wait for them to stop.

"I'll lost count of the men I've seen broken down," said Lucy as they sat on the porch outside the infirmary. "At first they walk out like it's shameful, but after a while no one talks about it and they just break down in their seats. After that it was common place. It happens less now but it does so they stopped talking about it."

"Have you ever broken down?" he asked.

"A lot at first, alone and in public. Mostly in public. Someone would talk about their family and say something that reminds you of yours and you just break down. At first I was hard the first few months but then I met Alli. After that but got better. I'm not saying I don't break down but it happens sometimes." She turned to him. "What about you? Have you broken down?"

"Not since my dad died. We weren't exactly close, my father and I. The usual father/son arguments. He wanted me to go into the family business. I wanted to be a lawyer. I eventually ran away to go to Stanford and he didn't call for four years."

"Family business? What was it?" she asked.

"You could say pest control. I was a regular Billy Bretherten to those who knew me."

"Pest control huh?" said Lucy with interest. "What sort of pests?"

"The kind that bites back." Lucy laughed and Sam smiled. "But it wasn't for me. I left and didn't look back."

"After four years he called for some reason. What was it?"

"My girlfriend died," said Sam sadly. "In a fire he heard about it and called to find out if I was okay."

"Oh, Sam…"

"Even after that I refused to go back. I got jobs where cooked or tended bar. Dad called every few weeks or so to say he was still alive and to see how I was. Don't know why but I always felt he was a step behind me. I lived a few weeks with a woman named Missouri. She was an honest to God saint. It was great living with her but I had to leave. Something pulled at me. Told me to keep moving, so I did."

"What about your dad? How did he die?"

Sam choked in his throat and drained the last of his beer. One of the squads made a still for moonshine but beer was precious and nobody waste a drop. He handed the bottle to Lucy as he cleared his throat.

"Thanks for the talk," he said. "Do it again sometime?"

"Of course," she said. "Anytime you need. My door is always open."

Sam nodded and walked to the other side of the camp where a large field was being planted and weeded. Through they regularly got food from the refugee camp that held surviving mothers, children and injured that couldn't fight, he camp still planted their vegetables to ferry to the camp. They also give them meat of the over abundant deer that ran through the city. They would scavenge the city for scraps and reuse anything they could. Without the aid of appliances cooking took longer to feed a whole camp. Squad B had to job of weeding corn that was barely growing. Sam picked up a hoe and joined them. After a while comedic Carl start a funny cadenced and Todd would echo. Soon the whole Squad was laughing, except for Ethan.

"I don't know what I've been told. Weeding can make me bored. I don't know what's been said. If I don't weed I'll end up dead!"

Soon another member of the Squad made up their own cadence or a silly song. When it came to Sam turn he couldn't think of a song so he made a cadence.

"Mama, mama, won't you say, your little boy's a live today! Papa, papa, can't you see? Won't you be proud of me?"

"Mister, mister, I won't say no," said a man from another squad. "I still dream of a pot of gold!"

The chant went around the field a few times and changed but held the same meaning. Some was of members of family or a squad member. Most were funny and other spiritual. As the chanting went around to Sam's turn again he spotted Dean watching them and he softly smiled. He turned to the Twins, nodded toward Dean and they nodded in agreement.

"Mama, Mama, can't you see!" chanted Sam in a loud voice and the Twins echoed. "What Dean Winchester's done to me! Papa, Papa, won't you say, you'd be proud of me today!"

Dean looked in surprise at Sam and was even more surprised when the field echoed Sam's cadence. Sam just leaned on his hoe with a sly smile at him. Dean gave him a half smile back and left without a word.

"Dude, that's the most emotion I've seen out of him in five years," said Carl in shock.

"Really," asked Sam.

"The girls say that he's like that even in bed," said Todd. "It's like he's made of stone."

_'Or that closed off,'_ thought Sam and went back to weeding. The cadence went on till no one could think anymore, ranging from made up to silly, then they did songs. Some missed words and others sung off key but the effect was the same. One woman hit a high note from a musical that shocked everyone around her and she blushed when everyone clapped.

Sam sung any song that came to mind, which was mostly is father's old records. The whole camp sang along to "Back in Black" and "Eye of the Tiger". When it was the Twin's tern they started a duet of "La Vida Loca" and everyone laughed when they started dancing right in the corn row.

"SILENCE!" They all looked to see Sarge at the field's edge glaring at each of the field workers. "You should be ashamed of yourselves. Laughing and caroling like it's Christmas! This is no time to be playing like children. It the end of the world. Not a picnic!"

The smiling faces immediately vanished, including the comedic ones. Everyone resumed their jobs with sad faces.

"Why not?" asked Sam. Sarge turned to him in confusion and glared at Sam. "Why can't it be a picnic?"

"Perhaps you failed to realize, Wesson, but the world's no picnic. It's hell on earth out there and being soft will get you killed."

"Yes, I have realized that, I've lived out there," said Sam. "But just because the world's crazy doesn't mean we have to go crazy with it."

The argument had gotten the attention of the workers and they watched.

"Obviously the outside had made you soft," said Sarge. "It's a wonder you aren't dead."

"I survived the outside because I was smart. You were a soldier. You should know how it is."

"This is war!"

"And you're a slave-driver!"

Sarge's face went red in fury. "Wesson, follow me. Now!"

"Now you did it," said Stephan as Sam walked over to Sarge. He set his hoe aside and glared at the man.

"Come with me. It's solitary for you."

Sam could feel the shock around the field. He didn't argue as he followed Sarge. Sarge led him past the enclosure of cabins and everyone watched as if it was a death march. Sarge led Sam to the back of the fence and stopped at a large shipping crate. Sam at first thought it discarded but after seeing the padded lock he knew it was the solitary cell. Sarge unlocked the padlock and opened the crate.

"Get in," he said.

"Don't I get to defend myself?!" asked Sam glaring at Sarge. Sarge glared back.

"Get. In." Sarge shoved Sam toward the crate and Sam was forced to duck or else his stomach would have rammed against the top of the open crate.

"Mark!" Sam and Sarge turned to see Dean and Castiel walk toward them. It took a moment for Sam to realize he was talking to Sarge. "Since when did you put a man in solitary without consulting me?"

"This man was disrespectful and disturbing the peace," said Sarge. "I didn't want to disturb you in something so trivial."

"Nothing is trivial here," said Dean. "And Sam's new. He doesn't know our rules."

"Some time in solitary will help him," said Sarge with a glare at Sam.

"What did he do?" asked Castiel.

"He was disturbing the peace of the soldiers," said Sarge. "When I tried to stop it he mouthed off to me."

"You mean the singing and the cadences?" asked Dean. "I didn't see anything that would warrant a day in solitary. They seemed to be having fun."

"They're no here to have fun, Winchester. They're here to fight."

Dean's eyes flared dangerously. "Last I check, Mark, this was my camp. If I say they're allowed to sing, then they can sing." Dean and Sarge glared at each other for what seemed like a long time. "If you have a problem with the way I run things then we can take it to the ring."

"I have no problem with the way you run things," said Sarge.

"Then let me run it. All you have to do is keep your men in line. If they step out if it, take it to me. Don't make decisions yourself." Dean looked over at Sam. "Back to work, Sammy. I'll talk to you about this later."

"It's Sam," he said as he walked past Dean. Sarge glared at his back as Sam walked away. He walked up to the library and walked in. Chuck was sitting at his desk writing in a journal, probably about Sam's almost punishment. He looked up when Sam walked in.

"Thanks," he said. "I know you told Dean."

"Dean needs you," said Chuck. "And you need him."

"Why do you say that?" asked Sam in confusion.

"You'll find out. Now go. Your friends are worried."

Still confused Sam left the library and continued toward the fields and stopped in surprised when he saw the members of the B squad were quietly whispering, even Ethan was there through not saying a word.

"Sam!" said Danny in surprise. The rest turned to see Sam walking up to them. "Geez, man, we thought you were a goner!"

"Still alive," he said. "Sarge isn't so tough."

"How'd you get out of solitary?" asked Adam.

Sam shrugged. "He had a change of mind."

"That's not like Sarge," said Stephan. "He's a bad-ass. Nothing changes his mind."

"Except Dean," said Danny. Sam saw something flash across Ethan's eyes at the mention of the camp's leader. "Dean's always could handle Sarge."

"Why is that?" asked Sam.

"We don't know," said Todd with a shrug.

"Sarge doesn't talk about his past," said Carl. "He closes up about it as much as Ethan."

Sam nodded in thought. This camp had as many secrets as he did. Todd held out his how and Sam returned to work. The rest of the team went back to the way it was before Sarge interrupted.

"There are other ways to get pumped up," said Alan with a smile.

"I don't know," said Stephan. "I'm all sung out."

"Be glad it's not our turn this week," said Danny.

"What do you mean?" asked Sam.

"Music Monday!" said the Twins with a high five. Sam looked at them confused.

"Every Monday a Squad sings songs over dinner," said Danny. "It's actually sort of funny. Most of the time we don't remember the lyrics."

"It's E Squad's week," said Carl.

"Who started it?' asked Sam. Three fingers pointed to the Twins. He laughed. In the time he got to know the Twins he believed they would start a weekly activity. "Are there any rules?"

"Just that there's one squad per week," said Todd. "And if you know the song, sing it."

"Even if you don't know the song, sing it," said Danny. "I remember the one guy trying to sing a Kid Rock song but he forgot half the words."

The rest of the squad laughed and Sam smiled at them. They walked toward the mess hall at dusk and heard the singing from three yards from the door. The squad laughed harder.

"Looks like they started without us," said Adam with laughter, Danny and Stephan opened the doors and they walked in.

At first Sam shocked at the sight of the mess hall. He was used to the low voices and somber faces, but what he saw now was the opposite of somber. The faces were happy, cheerful noises and more than one person sang along. Four people stood at the front of the tables singing in loud voices since microphones didn't work. It took a moment to recognize the two women singing as Lucy and Alli. The two men he didn't recognize. It took him a second only to recognize the song. He wasn't a big fan of musicals but he did recognize "Seasons of Love".

"That's pretty good," he said.

"They've been singing together for a while," said Alan. "Chuck and Castiel come over sometimes. Dean rarely. He mostly eats in his cabin."

Sam didn't answer as he watched the group sing. He watched them sing and move to the music as he thought about what he had just learned about Dean. He was rescued by Dean once and now kept in his camp. In just a few days Sam could tell Dean, Castiel and Chuck showed on interest in Sam. Sam was afraid to know why.

"Hey, Sam," called Lucy and Sam looked up at her. "Care to try?'

"Uh, I don't know," he said uncertainly.

"Come on, Sammy," said Alli enthusiastically. "It's no big deal. Don't matter if you can sing or not!"

"Yeah, come on, Sam," encouraged Danny.

"Come on, Sam," said the Twins. "Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam."

Soon the whole hall was chanting his name. Lucy grabbed his arm and pulled him to toward the front.

"Lucy, I don't think…."

"Come on," said Lucy. "One for fun."

He sighed. "All right. All right. I'll sing," he said. "But only if Lucy sings with me."

Lucy faked and exasperated sigh. "If I must," she said with a smile and walked up to stand next to him. "I can do that." She turned to the crowd. "All right, y'all. You know the rules. If you know the song, sing along!"

Both tapped the beat to "Who Says You Can't Go Home." Sam began the song and Lucy followed. Both were in perfect harmony with each other despite no previous rehearsal. A few knew the song and sung along, more hummed but some did sing to the chorus. Sam did feel a bit nervous being up in front of the crowd but after he started singing he got into the song and Lucy was a help. She kept him on beat and made him move to get over his nerves. If he wasn't singing he was laughing.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Dean at the corner of the cabin, watching both of them perform. Sam felt his face become warm and he nearly stammered in the song. Even with his back turned he could feel Dean's piercing eyes on him. It made him more nervous.

When the song ended he turned and found Dean still standing at the corner as the crowd cheered. The man still watched Sam like a hawk. Sam grunted when Lucy thumped his back.

"You make a good Bon Jovi," she said.

"And you a Jennifer Nickles," he said. "We'll need to do that again."

"That's a promise," she said and went to join the squad and sit beside Alli. Sam walked past their table up to Dean with a sly smile.

"Enjoy the performance?" he asked.

"You have a good voice," he said. Sam chuckled a bit.

"A lot of practice."

Dean nodded. "I prefer Led Zepplin myself."

Sam remembered his father singing Led Zepplin in the car radio. The pain he felt was dull but it still hurt like fresh every time he thought of his father.

"So did my dad," he said. "You remind me of him sometimes."

Dean smirked. "Is that and insult or a compliment?"

Sam smiled back. "You figure it out," he said and walked back to the table.

**TBC**

**-"Camp Rock" is a Disney movie with Demi Lavato and the Jonas Brothers. **

**-Billy Bretherten is better known as Billy the Exterminator. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Push**

Sam woke the next morning to Sarge kicking the door open before moving around the bunks yelling, "Rising and shine, maggots! Sun is shining so quit your whining! Move it!"

Sam grunted when Sarge kicked his bed, even though Sam had already sat up on his bunk. From the impact he knew Sarge had kicked Sam's bed harder than the rest of the squad. The team crawled out of bed as Sarge walked out. He kicked Sam's bed again as he did, since it was next to the door.

Sam stood and followed the squad out to the obstacle course and they did sprints and stretches. The past A squad as the jogged and Sarge pushed them faster to first a trot, a sprint, and then a full run. By the time the finished the five miles each member was panting with exhaustion as Sarge went on his rant on how soft they were. Sam wanted to yell at him but knew that if he did they would run another five miles so he kept quiet. Instead he forced himself to exercise and close his mind of all thought.

"All right, maggots, we've got salvage duty this week," called Sarge as they finished. "We'll be heading to a new district and we'll be grabbing what we can. We'll pack up the truck with anything we may need. We'll be hunting so remember the one shot kill rule. Don't waist ammo! Trust me when I say you don't want to get caught out there with an empty clip. You have one hour to get your asses ready so move it or lose it!"

They walked off the course toward the cabin, pulled out their duffle bags and started packing. They packed clothes, soap toothbrushes, paste and food. Alan packed a bag of jerky he made.

"With barbeque sauce and whiskey," he said proudly. My father taught me a few tips. It's also how I got good with a rifle. I can down a deer from fifty yards.

"With a good breeze I can from a hundred yards," said Danny. "What about you, Sam?"

"I don't like to brag," said Sam stuffing his bag.

"Come on, we've seen you shoot a gun," said Stephan. "You're really good at it."

"Best in the squad," said Todd.

"Someone taught you," said Carl.

"Who else, my dad," said Sam. "He thought it would bring us together and it did for a while."

"What happened?" asked Stephan.

"You know the story."

"Shit happens," said the Twins. They all laughed as the door opened and Sarge walked in.

"Quit your yapping and get packing! This isn't a picnic. Let's move!"

They filed out of the cabin and went to the trucks. Over half the camp gathered to watch them leave. Lucy, Alli and Ben were there with farewell smiles. Ben ran toward the squad.

"Hey, Sam!" he yelled. "If you find any sports balls, grab'em!"

Sam glanced at Sarge and at the disapproving look his team leader had on his face. He turned back to Ben with a smile. "I'll try, Ben," he said and walked toward the cars. Chuck was there with a clipboard.

"There's a full tank in the cars and ten five gallon gas cans in the back of each," he said and looked up. "There are gas cans and supplies in each safe house. Don't waste anything! And record everything you us. I'll need to catalog it later."

"I know what to do, Shurley," said Sarge. "This isn't my first rodeo. Any problems with the cars?"

"The mechanics went over inch of them. Nothing out of the ordinary everything ready to go."

"Good." He turned to the team. "Load up!"

The squad filed into the cars. Sam in the last next to Ethan. The twins sat behind them. Sarge, Stephan, Alan and Danny sat in the first. Sarge started the truck. It stalled twice before turning over and they could drive out of the parking area. Because Sarge wasn't with them the small group told stories and laughed loudly. Sam joined in with some stories of his childhood and some parts were edited. The others didn't seem to mind and laughed at the end of each.

"What about you, Ethan," asked Sam. "You're always quiet. Why?"

"What's there to say?" said Ethan. "I lost everything, like everyone else."

"But before that. What was your family like? Do you have a brother? Sister? What was your mother like?"

"Forget it, Sam," said Carl. "We've tried for months to get him to talk. Closes up each time."

"He just does nothing but sits there and pretends to sleep," said Todd. "We've gotten used to it. Give it a while. You will to."

Sam didn't answer, just studied Ethan's face the whole time. Ethan may play the guy act but Sam saw the slight expressions when Sam asked about Ethan's family. The tightening of his jaw when he mentioned his brother and the slight breath at a sister. If Sam had to guess it was Ethan came from a broken family.

"You can talk to me if you want," He said. "I don't mind, and I promise not to tell anyone else."

Ethan showed no sign of interest and Sam settled in his seat. The smiles softened after a few minutes and they continued on silently. The wove through the city taking detours as debris blocked the road. It was nearing afternoon when Sarge pulled up into a theater house and stepped out.

"This is where we'll make camp," he said. "We'll salvage what we can from homes and stores. We'll spend the next week looking for supplies that will keep our people alive! It's a very important job!"

"It's an exile," said Alan in Sam's ear. "Week long exile."

"Make camp!"

Making camp was harder than it looked. They brought the supplies in from the cars and hid the food in the rafters. Then Sarge drilled them on where to put everything; their sleeping rolls, where supplied would be store and even what time each would have watch. Not surprisingly, Sam had it longest.

"Don't worry," said Stephan who had it least. "I'll take some of your shifts."

"We'll save hunting for the last couple days," said Sarge. "A refrigerator truck is already ready at our disposal. Take down as many as you can. Waste nothing!"

"Yes, sir!" said the squad.

They took the rest of the time to stretch and relax. Sam walked up onto the roof and looked out onto the street. On the way to the theater Sam recognized the streets and knew they were only half a miles from his old hideout. He could go there and no one would miss him.

He had a sudden apprehensive thought of leaving the camp. He made it a habit to never get close to people since he wouldn't know when he would have to leave, running within twelve hours. In the time he spent with the squad, Lucy and Alli he had become close them the more than anyone since Jessica. And Dean…

Sam didn't know what to make of Dean. The man had shown interest in Sam, for reasons' Sam didn't know, and Sam showed interest in him. Since they met that night of the fire he had haunted Sam's dreams and nightmares. Sam didn't know what it was but something connected them, and it was that connection that scared Sam.

Down below a figure walked by, a small boy around eleven, looking toward the theater. Sam pushed a thought in the boy's crazed mind, wincing at the madness in felt within, and the boy moved away. Sam didn't know what kind of powers he had, but if it allowed him to save lives he would gladly use it. He just had to be careful of when and where.

"Hey, Sam, there you are." Sam turned to see Carl and Todd at the roof's entrance. "Come on, man, dinner time."

"Coming," said Sam.

Sam followed them through the door and Todd made a salt line across the doorway. It wasn't just Croats they had to watch out for. It was also every hellish creature on earth. They had weapons for every possible occasion. Iron, silver and rock salt rounds, iron and bronze knives, a book for exorcisms, and bags of salt to keep out spirits.

Sam crossed the salt time that was around the entire stage, and joined the team around the makeshift camp. Alan and Stephan were handing out rations, each with a piece of jerky. Stephan handed Sam his and he took a bite of the jerky. His eyes widened in surprise.

"No way is this just barbeque sauce and whiskey," he said.

"That's what I'm saying!" said Danny. "There has to be something else in it!"

"I swear that's all I used!"

"Don't swear," said the Twins n a joking tone. They laughed.

"I swear!" said Alan.

"You swear?" asked Stephan.

"Every damn day." They laughed and Alan shook his head. "No, but seriously. That's all I use."

"Well, it's amazing," said Sam the rest agreed. Sam looked over at Ethan. The man was silently eating his meal just at the edge of the salt line. He looked up at Sam watching and Sam returned to his meal.

They ate and talked till past sunset and Sarge called lights out at nine. The only light came from the lantern like a campfire. They turned their backs to it and Sam and Ethan took first watch.

"Think somebody should be on the roof?" asked Sam.

"You volunteering?" asked Ethan. "You would here fast enough if a Croat walked through the door."

"I'm a fast runner." Sam gave him a looked that said he spoke the truth. Ethan shrugged.

"Do what you want."

Sam picked up his pistol and stood along the double doors instead. The salt along the door would keep out spirits but not Croats. The room was filled with silence but Sam felt every Croat out on the street, some wandering, some sleeping and some Sam didn't want to think about. The images that came to his head were too sadistic to think about.

A half hour into the second hour had Sam jumping when Ethan joined him.

"You mean it? About listening or were you batting your puppy dog eyes?" he asked.

"I meant it," said Sam.

"I never talked to anyone about what happened, not even the so-called camp counselor."

"Lucy is a good listener, if you give her a chance."

"She's also a gossip, in case you haven't noticed."

Sam chuckled. He did notice that about Lucy ad that was one of the things that made her likeable. Even if it got a bit annoying.

"Why did you want to talk to me?"

"You look like a guy who can keep secrets." Sam nodded and waited for Ethan to continue. "My dad worked as a night guard to a bank in New York. He was also a drunk. My mother was forced to work as a barmaid just to pay his tabs. It only made it worse that it was a stripper joint. He would yell and curse at her for sleeping with the customers, never mind that he was doing the same with her co-workers.

"Every time he got really drunk he would beat Mom and me. He kept yelling that I wasn't his son, that I was a bastard my mom had with a one night stand. It was only years alter that I learned I was his son, but he was dead by then. Mom tried to protect me when he got mad and that only made him hit her harder.

"Ever since I was young when Mom had any spare money she would give it to me and tell me to hide it. I would put it in my Scooby-Doo lunch box that held my treasures and hide that under a loose floor board. By the time I was six years old I had three hundred dollars hidden under there. I saved every penny I found.

"When I was twelve years old my dad found a way to make more money, and it involved me. He noticed the looks some of his friends and colleagues were giving me and he would take advantage of it. I made him five hundred a night. Mom had died by then, found dead in an alley with her heart tore out and mauled like an animal. They never found the killer."

'Werewolf,' thought Sam uneasily as Ethan continued his story.

"It wasn't for another year the FBI put a stop to my father's prosecution ring. They took me to foster homes and I stayed there till I was eighteen, became a cop, had a few girlfriends and never looked back. And the whole time I had over two thousand dollars in my Scooby-Doo lunch box." Ethan turned to Sam. "I found him again, with a new wife and a new son, sold them both off like animals." He spoke the last two words through gritted teeth. "And I put a bullet in his head."

Sam was paralyzed from Ethan's story. Of all the things he could imagine that was not on his list. Sam had a crappy life himself, but nothing like hat. Looking at the man in front of him he knew he didn't know what to say.

"Look, man, I'm sorry…."

"I don't want pity, or sympathy or charity. I just want people to leave me alone."

"I imagine so. But wanting to be alone won't make the pain go away, and being by yourself will only make people more curious in you."

"How do you know?" asked Ethan. "How could you know?"

Sam looked down uneasily. He didn't like talking about his past, especially with people he considered friends. His past was too painful to think about, it was something he has been running away from for a long time.

"My mother died when I was six months old, supposedly in an accidental house fire, but my father knew she was murdered. For as long as I could remember he drove me from coast to coast, doing odd jobs and searching for the murderer the whole time I was with a babysitter or alone half my childhood. My dad was drunk a lot, and at time I was afraid he'd beat me. He never did, but there were times when he was close. When I was eighteen I left and never looked back."

"Did you ever find the killer?" asked Ethan. "Was there even one?"

"There was. I killed him."

"But that's not the secret you're keeping. You're afraid to get close to people. I can see it. Everyone else is so wrapped in their problems to notice. What is it?"

"My secret…." Sam's mouth immediately closed shut. He had kept this secret his whole life. It was something that he hurt him by just thinking about it. "Sometimes I pee in the shower."

Ethan's mouth gaped and Sam went to wake the Twins. He went to his sleeping roll and slept for the four hours till his last watch with Sarge. Unlike Ethan Sarge didn't try to make conversation. He just watched Sam, probably wondering if Sam would collapse for lack of sleep but the young man was wide awake after the first sip of precious coffee. Sam could actually go three days without sleep, but he would have to sleep for a long time afterward. He wasn't trying to show the older man up. He just wanted to help the team.

Sarge woke the rest of the group and they went collecting supplies. They walked to every building, grabbing blankets, pillows, clothes, candles, and more importantly canned food, anything that looked like it could still be of use. Since Sam was the newest member he took point into each building. He checked for any Croats and only found a few. He killed them, sparing them from any further insanity. Sarge did say anything as they gathered supplies but the rest of the group praised Sam's marksmanship.

"Great shot, Wesson," said Ethan the first day, shocking everyone but Sam. Sam smiled at him.

"Thanks, Carr," he said.

"Holy crap on an anthill, he spoke!" said Carl.

"Of course I spoke," said Ethan. "I'm not an idiot."

Sam looked over at Sarge watching them. The man was not happy about losing his lieutenant. Sam felt a bit of pity for the man. He didn't want to push Ethan away from Sarge but he wanted to learn more about his teammate. Unlike Sarge Ethan ate with the team, worked and slept with them. Sarge only oversaw the activities. He never joined in. Ethan made the team. Sarge didn't.

As the days went by they went around the neighborhood and gathered as much supplies as they could. A few times in the night or a slow afternoon Sam would sneak to his old hideout and grab supplies there. If he was caught he would push slightly to avoid suspicion. He hated using his powers but to protect the team he was willing to do so.

On the night before their last day, the day of the hunt, each member of the team was talking about different ways to preserve meat. When he was alone Sam would make a jerky out of the meat he caught. The others talked of smoking, baking, salt, and other methods. Same listened with the attitude of a student, learning new ways to survive.

The next day the team made bets on how many they would take down. There was the usual teasing about amateur shots or manhood and each took it with good humor.

"What about you, Sam," asked Carl. "How many do you think you're going to take down?"

"Enough for everyone," said Sam.

"But how many do you think?" asked Stephan. "Five? Ten?"

"I try not to predict the future," said Sam shouldering his arrows and picking up his bow. To not attract the attention of Croats they're using bow instead of rifles for hunting.

"What does that mean?" asked Alan.

"It means that when people's lives are on the line, I don't make guesses." Sam walked out of the theater. The men watched him curiously before going back to their betting.

"All right, here's how we do it," called Sarge. "To lessen the risk of Croats, we're using bows. You have the entire day to bring down as many deer as you can. There will be hunters and there will be butchers. On the first shot the herd will most likely run, so it's your job to keep firing."

And he went around assigning butchers and hunters. Not surprisingly, Sam was a butcher. He was still to take down as many deer as possible. Once jobs were assigned they went to the park. Wild grass grew in cracks on the streets that the deer nibbled on but they mostly congregated in the parks where there was a semblance of a forest.

From the fifth floor of an apartment Sarge spotted a sizable herd with a sniper scope. They all surrounded the herd and were waiting for the order. Everyone had paired up and hide in the overgrown foliage within earshot. Sarge had of course paired up with Sam. Each person had a quiver full of arrows and a second bundle of twenty at their feet.

"On my mark," he said. Everyone readied their bows. "Fire!"

Sam pulled the arrow to his cheek and shot before the word escaped Sarge's mouth. The first arrow hit the deer in the head and the deer next to it came down from a neck shot. With each arrow Sam let look a deer was hit in a fatal spot and came down. The quiver full of arrows was soon empty and Sam picked up another. Sarge finished his as Sam started on the second bundle of arrows. Down below the deer were running and falling left and right and each arrow was fired as fast as they could to take down as many deer as they could.

"Enough!" yelled Sarge and the team stopped. "Wesson, go tell them to skin them before every Croat in the city gets here."

Sam stood and waved to the others to stop firing. They did and all six went down to the fell deer and skin and butchered them. Alan and Stephan was expert on the spot butchers, showing Sam how to cut the meat off the bone and to wrap it in their skins. They put the meat in large coolers, the organs in smaller ones wrapped in plastic, which they then put in a refrigerator truck. Sam took the organs they didn't need and buried them. When he finished he looked up and saw the two staring at him strangely.

"Something I learned while staying at an Indian reserve," he said. "It honors the deer's spirit."

"Never thought of that," said Alan. "Neat."

The sound of a gun shots echoes around the buildings. All three looked up in shock.

"Alan, Stephan, get the truck!" ordered Sam. "We'll need a quick get away!"

"What about you?" asked Stephan.

Sam took his pistol and slid a bullet in the chamber. "I'm going to help." And he ran toward the gunshots.

"Wait, Sam, you'll die!" yelled Alan.

"I have to do something! Go!"

He ran down the street, following the direction of the gunshots. The rest of the team had gone to track the deer and take down more. They had stayed for a while to help skin and butcher but halfway through Sarge lead the others to hunt. That had been half an hour ago. From the sounds of the shots they hadn't gotten far.

After running like hellhounds were on his hells he turned a corner to find his team cornered by a hoard of Croats. He only thing between them and the Croats was a fence. The exit was blocked by an overturned semi-truck. There were too many to fight.

"Dear God, they found me," he said. He raised his gun and fired at the nearest crazy. It went down. Another turned toward him, started right in his eyes and turned back to the others. Sam did he first thing that came to mind. "Hey! You want me, right?! You want me?!"

"Sam, no!" yelled Ethan. The Croats tuned to Sam.

"Come and get me!" he said in a low voice. "Just leave my friends alone."

The Croats turned to him, their knives and glass shards lowered.

"You don't want to hurt me," he said. "All these years running and you don't want to hurt me. Stop!"

They stopped. Sam looked at them in surprise. He had never commanded such a large group before. Usually just three or four, five at the most. He had never controlled a whole mob and he didn't know how long it was that he could keep control.

"Leave!" he ordered. "Leave and never harm another person ever again!"

The mob dispersed, dropping their knives and sharp implements. Sam watched them leave and turned back to his team mates. They all watched him in amazed shock Sarge in complete loathing. Sam looked sadly back at them.

His cover was blown.

**TBC **

-"Push" is a movie with Chris Evans and Dakota Fanning about a group of people with superhuman abilities.

-The line was of course from "The Mummy" with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weis.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Nightmares and Dreamscapes**

Sam sat in the truck bed uncomfortably, wiggling in the ropes that bound him. The coarse fibers itched and dug into his skin and a box was digging into his hip. The truck hit a pothole and he ht his head against the window, and almost fell out of the truck. He groaned.

"Hey, can you drive a bit more carefully," he yelled at Sarge. "I almost got thrown out!"

"Shut up, freak!" yelled Sarge. "You're lucky I didn't cap your ass after the stunt you pulled!"

"Sam, stop," said Ethan and looked apologetically at Sam. Sam gave him a grateful look and settled back in the truck bed, or tried to. The box still dug in his hip.

Since Sam came out with his powers Sarge tied him to the point of dislocation and ordered the rest of the team to not talk to him and to keep a constant watch on him while he radioed in the situation. He would have shot Sam on the spot if the rest of the team hadn't demanded to take Sam to camp for a trial. Sam was grateful for their help. Sarge argued against it fiercely.

"You know the rules" he yelled. "When one turns, kill on the spot! No exceptions!"

Sam didn't turn," argued Stephan. "He saved our asses."

"He's a freak! He needs to be put down!"

"That's for Dean to decide," said Ethan. Sarge gave his second a look of betrayal.

"He could kill us," he yelled. "He could kill us with those freak powers of his!"

"If I wanted to I could have already," said Sam. Sarge pointed his gun at Sam.

"Shut up, you freak!

Allan took the gun away. "We'll take him to Dean. He'll figure out what to do."

Sarge looked to argue some more but with his team against him he didn't have a chance of winning. Each member took up to watching Sam, mainly to keep Sarge from hurting him. The next morning Sarge insisted on having Sam ride on the back of the truck, forced between two boxes. Ethan rose with Sarge and Sam to protect the latter. Ethan tried to make Sam comfortable but with the way Sarge insisted on driving made it hard.

Sam grunted when Sarge hit another hole and saw a box teetering dangerously over the side. He shouldered it back on and shoved it more forcefully in the truck.

"Stop it, Sarge!" he yelled. "Keep driving like this and you'll lose all the food! The camp will starve!"

"He's right, Sarge," sad Ethan. "If you don't slow down we could lose the supplies."

"You on his side now!" yelled Sarge angrily.

"I'm on the camp's side, and the camp needs this food. Slow it down!"

Sarge growled and did. The ride went smoother after that, thought the ropes still itched and scratched him. No position he tried eased his discomfort. When they pulled into the dirt road leading toward camp only jostled Sam which he was grateful for. He had enough bruises on his rear to last a lifetime.

As they neared camp Sam started to panic. When his secret was reveal, what would happen? Would they kill him? Exile him? What would they think of him? Lucy, Alli and the others. Would they hate him?

What would Dean think?

The last thought made him nauseous and his face paled. Ethan saw Sam's distress and turned to Sarge.

"Pull over! Now!"

"Why should I," asked Sarge.

"Just do it!" Ethan grabbed the wheel and jerked it to the side. Sarge had no choice but the slam on the brakes. The jolt made Sam more nauseous and he heaved over the side of the truck. He barely heard the argument as he threw up his supper.

"Why the hell you do that?!"

"Sam's sick!"

"Who cares if he's sick? We're getting rid of him anyway."

He heard the van and refrigerator truck skidding to a stop but he was still heaving.

"What happened?"

"Sam's sick."

"Sam's sick?!"

"Who cares if he's sick?! I say leave him!"

"We're not leaving Sam."

"No way in hell are we leaving Sam behind!"

"We're not leaving Sam behind, and we're not treating him like a serial killer." Sam could have hugged Ethan if he had the energy. He felt the ropes be taken off him and he sighed in relief to have his circulation return. "He has been nothing but a friend since his arrival and we are going to treat him as such."

"He'll kill us!"

"If he wanted to kill us he would have done it already. He told us so himself."

"You trust him?!"

"As much as I trust you."

Meanwhile Sam was recovering from his episode of nausea. He felt someone wiping his mouth and saw Stephan in front of him with a rag. Alan was nearby with a bottle of water. The others gathered around him like a shield against Sarge.

"Thanks," he said.

"No problem," said Stephan with a smile. Alan came over with the water. Sam took a mouthful, washed his mouth and spat it out before taking a log drink.

"Thanks," he said again.

"No problem," said Alan.

"Alan, you're with me," said Ethan. "Sarge is taking your place in the van."

"The hell I am!"

"Second-in-command is allowed to take command if the leader is mentally or physically incapable of doing so."

"I am capable!"

"You tried to kill Sam. I say you're unfit to lead this team. Get in the van!"

Sarge looked at the rest of the team to see who would back him up, but none moved. Unable to take the whole group himself Sarge went to the van, cussing the whole way.

"Thanks," said Carl. "Now we get to hear his grumbling the whole way."

Ethan handed him a roll of duct tape. The Twins smiled. Sa was reminded of Fred and George Weasley, and thought the twins were like them in more ways then one.

"Come on, Sam," said Ethan. "you can sit next to me."

"Thanks, Ethan."

Sam joined Ethan and Alan in the truck. It was a tight fit but was more comfortable then in the back. As the camp drew near Sam began to feel queasy again but the glances from Alan and Ethan seemed to reassure him but he still couldn't stop the feeling from creeping inside him.

They passed through the gates and a crowd of cheering soldiers followed them. As they pulled up Dean, Chuck and Castiel walked over with soldiers. Sam got out and stayed between Alan and Ethan. The perfect picture of a prisoner. The whole time his eyes were on Dean. They held a look of betrayal. Sam felt so much through the man that he couldn't pull away. He didn't even notice Sarge walk behind him and grab his arm in a crushing hold.

"Carl, Todd, take him to the box," said Dean. "I already have a guard assigned. Then come to the Big Cabin for a debriefing.

"Sir," said Sarge. "I feel I should accompany the prisoner."

"No, go to the Big Cabin," said Dean.

"But, sir…"

"Now, Sarge!"

Sam didn't know if Sarge was going to protest or not as Carl and Todd lead him away. Sam followed for a foot but something in him snapped and he turned to Dean, struggling against the Twins.

"Wait, Dean, wait!" Dean didn't turn back. That just made Sam panic more. "I'm not one of them! I don't know what I am, but I'm not one of them! Please, listen to me! Dean!"

But Dean kept walking to the Big Cabin. Sam watched him go in panic as the Twins lead him away.

"It's okay, Sammy," said Carl. Sam was to frozen to correct him. "We know what you did."

"We'll make him see it," said Todd. "We'll defend you till our last breath."

"Please don't," said Sam. "Don't want anyone dying because of me."

Carl and Todd paused to look at each other. Sam knew he was getting too worked up over a saying but he didn't care. He really didn't want anything happening to his team.

They took him to the large crate Sam saw and he gasped at the who was guard him. It was Ben.

"Ben, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not supposed to talk to you," said Ben sullenly.

Sam looked confused as Todd opened the box. Sam crawled in and sat down. There was hardly enough room for him to move and they probably didn't think to accommodate someone his size.

"It'll be all right, Sam," said Todd.

"We'll get you out of here soon," said Carl.

The closed the lid. The only light came from the holes in the wood. His feet hit the box every time he moved and his head rested on his chest. If he wasn't claustrophobic he would be soon.

It also got hot fast. He immediately slowed his breathing and loosened his muscles, a trick his father taught him to hold off heat exhaustion.

"Sam?"

Sam nearly jumped at Ben's voice, coming lose to hitting his head on the top of the box.

"I thought you couldn't talk to me," he said softly.

"Why are you in here?" no one has been since David stole from the kitchen, and that was just to teach a lesson. Why you?"

"Dean didn't tell you?"

Ben scoffed. "Dean doesn't tell me anything. He still thinks I'm a boy playing with my X-box."

Sam paused, not knowing what to say. "I did something they didn't like," he said. "Now they don't know what to do with me."

"What did you do?"

"I saved their lives," said Sam. "Please, Ben, I want to be a lone."

Ben went silent and Sam was grateful. It was times like these he preferred silence. When Jessica had his father died Sam was alone for weeks, since Bobby couldn't reach him. His father pulled him out of Jessica's death but he never got over his father's. the only thing that helped was the constant running. Now there was nowhere to run.

Unbidden Sam began to nod off and fall asleep.

_Sam gasped as he tried to take a breath. His chest hurt more then he could remember. It felt like a monster truck had slammed not him and had put on the brakes. The last thing he remembered was a semi crashing into their truck. He vaguely remembered his father yelling his name. _

_ "Dad?" he said suddenly remembering his father. His father came into view. Sam had never been more relieved._

_ "Hurt, but I'm fine. I'm here."_

_ "The car?"_

_ "It's fine. It's at Bobby's."_

_ "The gun?" His father's face became solemn. "Dad, tell me he didn't get the gun."_

"_I gave it to him."_

_Sam looked at him in shock. "Gave it…Him? You gave the gun to…to the demon? Dad, how could you?! Why?! Why the hell would you… That thing killed Jess! It killed mom!"_

_ "You were dying, Sam. What was I supposed to do?"_

_ "Let me die!" _

_ His father shook his head. "No, Sam. You're supposed to live. I know it."_

_Sam looked confused. "What do you mean?"_

"_The demon's planning something. I don't know what but it involves you and others like you. Something's coming. Something bad."_

_ "How do you know?"_

_ "Remember Missouri?" Sam nodded. "When I first took you to see her, she said a decision falls on you and that it could change the world." _

_ Sam laughed nervously. "Yeah, right, Dad. Me a savior?"_

_ "She said, he shall finished what the Father started."_

_ "What does that mean, Dad?" asked Sam scared. His father cleared his throat and smiled at him._

_ "I'm going to get some coffee? You want some?" Sam nodded, still confused. His father patted his shoulder. "Get some rest. And remember if you need help call John Winchester. He'll help you."_

_ "Dad?"_

_ "I love you, son…."_

_ "DAD!"_

"Dad?"

Sam jerked awake, hitting his head on the roof of the box. He hissed at the pain. He tried to move but both arm and leg muscles had been in the same position for too long. The muscles in his arms screamed at the strain. It also didn't help to be in a box that left you little room to move.

"Sam, you okay?"

"Lucy?" He tried to see through a hole but all he got was darkness. "How long have I been in here?"

"Only five hours according to Ben. I took over so the poor boy could sleep."

"What are they going to do with me?" Sam couldn't keep the fear from his voice.

"Right now, nothing. The team told their parts of the story to the Big Three one after the other. Now they're deciding on what to do with you."

"What do you think they'll do?"

He could feel Lucy's shrug. "I don't know. Anyone else would have shot you the minute they knew what you was. Then again... " She laughs, "who knows what the hell you are. They might shoot you anyway."

"I wouldn't blame them if they did." Only a second had passed when a hard thud hit the crate ad the back of his head. "Ow! Did you just hit the box?!"

"Yes! And I think I broke my fucking toe!"

"Anyone every tell you you're a violent woman?"

"Yes, I'm a regular Tabitha Deveraux."

"Who?"

"Never mind." He heard her sit down. "You hungry?"

"I'm allowed to eat?"

"Not really, but I can't stand seeing a friend suffer. The lid opened slightly and a hand came through holding a sandwich. Sam took it. "and water." She held out a small canteen. "Eat quick. I don't want to get you into more trouble."

Sam would have laughed if his mouth wasn't so full. Right then the pain sandwich and water as the most wonderful thing he had ever tasted. He ate the sandwich in a few minutes and took a bit longer with the water. It served as a reminder of another problem of his, but he wasn't going to tell that to Lucy.

"Thanks, Lucy," he said handing the canteen back.

"No prob, Sam."

Sam could feel her smile and it made him smile too. It made him feel better that he had at least one friend that still trusted him despite what he was.

"Lucy?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"If I was something…bad, would you still be my friend?"

Lucy laughed. "What? Like a serial killer or something."

Sam swallowed. "Or something."

There was a long pause. "No,"

Sam sighed. "I see."

"Because you're not a serial killer or a monster. You're not a demon or a Croat. You're a good person, Sam. I can feel it. So I'll always be your friend, and don't you ever think different."

Sam felt such relief he could have cried. Of course it would have been difficult if she knew the truth but for now he was just relieved.

"Thank you," he said still relieved. "Thank you, Lucy."

"You're the one we should thank, Sam."

"Yo, Lucy!"

Sam heard a shuffle on the other side of the box.

"What do you want, Paul?"

"Dean told us to take over for you," said Paul.

"I thought Carl and Todd were."

"Nah, they said they had to get the stink of the city off," said another voice. "They asked us too instead."

"You sure, Calvin?"

"I'm lying, I'm dying."

There was a long silence and Sam heard Lucy whisper. "I'll be right back. Don't worry."

"Okay," Sam whispered back.

He heard her leave. Not even a minute passed when the lid was thrown open and three pairs of hands grabbed him, pulling him out of the crate and threw him on the ground. Sam groaned when his head hit a small rock. He didn't even think of the bruises that would come since his immediate threat was on him. Sam knew the three by name and sight but had not personally met them. He never wanted to by the way they acted superior to their commander; Paul, Calvin and Ron.

"Let's see you get out of this, you freak," said Paul and raised a kick to him. Sam grabbed his foot and threw Paul off. He kicked out at Ron and connected with the man's knees. Ron fell screaming and Sam tried to get up before Calvin had a chance to hit him. Sam rolled away and faced his attackers.

"You don't want to do this, Paul," he said holding his hands up in defense.

"I'm going to gut you like a pig," said Paul pulling out a knife. "And blame it on the Croats."

"You think that's going to actually work?"

"You'd be surprised."

He lunged at Sam. Sam tried to dodge but he stumbled against the fence. Paul's knife cut down Sam's chest before he could move. Sam kicked Paul away. He hissed in pain but didn't take his eye away from the man. Behind Paul, Ron and Calvin stood back up.

"You'll pay for that," said Paul.

"You're the one who cut me!"

Paul lunged at him again. Despite the pain, Sam dodged and pinned the man's arm between his side and arm, preventing Paul from moving his arm. Sam kicked Paul in the liver, Paul groaned and dropped the knife and Sam rammed an elbow in the back of Paul's neck. Paul dropped

Gasping for breathe from the pain, mostly in his chest and head, Sam fell to the ground, fighting to stay conscious. Stars doted in his eyes from the effort.

"SAM!" he heard someone yell and caught the sight of a concerned green eye before he passed out.

**TBC**

-"Nightmares and Dreamscapes" is the cover name of a series of Stephan King short stories.

-Tabitha Deveruax is a heroine in Sherrilyn Kenyon's "Dark-Hunter" series.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: The Green Mile**

Sam groaned as he woke and opened his eyes to the rafters of the infirmary. He groaned again.

"I thought I'd never wake up here again," he groaned.

"That would be a miracle," said Lucy coming into view. Sam laughed and then groaned.

"Oh, that hurt."

"I should say. Paul cut you up good. It took seventy five stitches to stop the bleeding."

"That's a record," said Sam with a soft laugh, which hurt and he groaned again. "How long?"

"Only twelve hours, I thought you were a goner for a while."

"Nah, Wessons are fighters." Sam paused as he remembered the fight. "Paul, Calvin and Ron? What's going to happen to them?"

"Oh, they'll get what they deserve, trust me. I've never seen Dean so pissed."

"Why was Dean pissed?"

"Because he doesn't like such ruthless behavior among his people. Worst that could happen is banishment. But more than likely they'll be placed on guard duty for the refugee camp. When he saw what they were doing to you…."

"Dean saw?"

"He was the one who pulled you out."

Sam looked down, his face becoming hot. "He didn't have to."

"Dean doesn't have to do a lot of things, but he does."

Sam sighed and laid back down. "Nothing I say will ever change anything, will it?"

"They'll say their peace but it's pretty cut and dry."

"I don't want people banished because of me."

"Those there had always been trouble makers," said Lucy. "They've tried to take charge of the came away from Dean more than once. They bully people all the time. Call me and Alli the most awful names because of who we are. They fight the community all the time."

"I was just the icing on the cake," Sam sighed. He remembered what Paul called him before the fight and look in his eyes when he said it. "Lucy, if they're going to charge them, I think they should charge the whole group."

"What do you mean?"

"Tell Dean Paul called me a freak. He'll know what it means." Sam hoped he did. He looked up at her confused face. "Please, Lucy, for me."

She nodded. "Okay, Sam. Okay. I'll send Alli in."

Alli came in. Sam was grateful to see another familiar friendly face. Alli smiled at Sam's awake face.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," she said. "I hear you took quite a beating and you kicked butt."

Sam chuckled and groaned. "Ow!"

"Looks like Mr. Invincible isn't so invincible," she said Lucy shot her a look.

"Alli…."

"Okay, sorry." She sat next to the bed. "Don't worry, love. I'll watch him."

"I'll be back," said Lucy, more to Alli then Sam and she left. Alli turned to him.

"I should be jealous. I never saw Lucy so worried over a patient."

"Look, Alli, Lucy and I are just friends."

Alli laughed. "I'm not worried, Sam. I know how loyal Lucy is. She considers you a friend and I know that's all you are." Sam sighed, relieved that Alli understood. "Besides, no one was as worried about you as Dean."

Sam looked at her in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"He was in here since Lucy took you out of the OR. And only left an hour ago for a meeting."

"Dean was here the whole time?"

"Yep. It was a strange sight to see."

Sam laid his head on the pillow and stared up at the rafters. Dean had hardly showed any interest toward Sam the whole time he had been in the camp, and now he saved Sam's life and watched over his bedside. Sam thought he didn't have any compassion at all but now….

"Why were they beating you anyway?" asked Alli. "Why were you in the crate? What happened out there?"

"You'll probably hear about it soon enough," said Sam.

"Lucy said you saved everybody, that's what she heard. But Sarge is walking around saying you'll have the Croats down on us."

Anger flashed in Sam and he shot out of bed.

"Sarge! He's the one who sent those three to kill me! He tried to kill me!"

Sam groaned from pain of his sudden movement and Alli helped him back down on the bed.

"Sarge sent the Terrible Trio? Why would he do that?"

"That's what I want to know." Sam hand Alli looked at the door and Saw Dean, Castiel and Lucy dean had his arms crossed, Castiel was calm and Lucy looked nervous. "Sam, Lucy told me what you said and Sarge is being found and placed in custody. I'm here to see how if you wanted to face your attackers."

"That's all right, Dean," he said. "I know why they attacked me. I don't need to hear it from him."

Dean nodded. "Very well. You've earned it, but I do want you a part of the hearing, tell your side of the story."

"When is it?" asked Sam.

"When you're better."

"I'm fine now," said Sam trying to sit up and fighting the pain from his chest. Dean laid him back down.

"Not for another day or two. You still wince when you move. Stay, rest and heal."

"But…"

"Stay." Sam looked offended but laid back down on the bed. "I still want to talk to you about what happened."

Sam watched Dean with a worried look as the camp leader left with Castiel. Alli and Lucy behind and Alli put a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Don't worry, Sam," she said. Sam chuckled.

"Telling me not to worry is when I worry," he said. The two women laughed and Sam managed a smile.

"Rest," said Lucy still smiling and they left him to rest in peace. He spotted Todd and Carl through the door and smiled. He had his very own team of bodyguards. Closing his eyes he attempted to sleep but the faces of the people who died began to flash through his mind.

_Jessica burning alive on the ceiling. _

_ Max shooting himself to escape his father's abuse. _

_ Alvin Jenkins screaming as the Benders kills him. _

_ His father dying to save him._

_ Andy killing his brother to save his girlfriend._

_ Shooting Madison to keep her from killing more people._

_ Andy getting killed by Avra._

_ Ava getting killed by him._

_ Jake….. Gordon Walker….Barry Cook….Dirk McGregor… Oh, God, how many did he kill? How many people died because of him? _

He woke with a start to a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Dean looking down at him. Sam reached up and found he was sweating. He shook it off and looked back at Dean with what he hoped was a normal face.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I should ask you that," said Dean. "You sweat like a hog that just found out he's bacon and you ask me what's up? What did you dream about?"

"Nothing," said Sam defensively, turning away. Both were silent for the next few minutes. Sam was nervous the whole time. Why was Dean standing over his bed watching him sleep? Was he judging Sam? Did he pass sentence before Sam spoke his part? Was he that much of an outcast?

"I need to hear your side of the story," said Dean. "All of it."

"You mean at the beginning?" asked Sam.

"Not all of it. Just the finer points."

Sam was silent for a long time. The need to keep his life a secret was strongly ingrained in him since childhood. He had became an expert liar over the years despite him hating to. He always felt that if he told the truth he would be rejected as the freak he is.

But from the moment he me Dean Sam felt he could trust him. Sam hadn't known Dean was a Hunter at the time, but the visions he had of the man afterward told Sam a lot about him. Dean was head-strong, reckless, a bit of a narcissist, but he had a good heart despite his tough-as-nails attitude. A man who could be trusted in a crunch.

"I'm a Hunter," he said. Dean looked at him in surprise. "My father was Jared Wesson."

"I heard my dad talk about him. Said he was the only Hunter that had the biggest pair of cajones he had ever seen. But my dad trusted him."

"My dad said the same about yours," said Sam with a faraway smile ad turned to Dean. "John Winchester. The only man to face an incubus with his balls intact."

Dean chuckled and Sam gave a start. That was the first time Sam heard Dean come close to laughing.

"That's my dad," he said. "He's very gung-ho."

"They said they were in the Marines together, our dads. That's how they met. Your dad went because it was there. Mine to escape the family business."

"Which was?"

"Mechanic. Your father taught mine hunting. I remember him calling at night, asking about shape shifters, Wendigos and witches. He talked like they were fairy tales to me. I learned a lot that way." Sam smiled fondly at the memory.

"How did it start? What made your father start hunting?"

"My mom. She was the love of his life and she died in a mysterious fire." He paused, expecting to hear Dean as a question but Dean kept silent. "She died when I was only six months old, on the ceiling above my crib. My father told me she just burst into flames as soon as he walked in. "Like it was waiting for me," he said. Just waiting for him to walk through the door."

"It?"

"The thing that killed my mom. Setting her on fire was a warning, telling him to keep away. Any sane man would have taken it, but not my dad. He took the warning and basically told the monster to kiss the dark side of his lily white ass." Dean laughed loudly at that and Sam chuckled.

"He called as many people as he could think of. Told his story. No one believed him. He was about to be shipped off to a mental hospital when a woman came. She said he couldn't run off without anything prepared. She pointed him in the right direction. She told him to see a man he knew that could help him find the thing that killed his wife, who had just recently lost his mysteriously. Dad knew a lot of people so she only gave him two words. Semper Fi."

And that lead to my dad?"

Sam nodded. "If it makes you feel better, it took a while for Dad to find yours. I was two."

"I remember," said Dean. "You were crying because of the long trip and both of them couldn't calm you down. I asked to hold you and you calmed down in a minute."

"Really?" asked Sam amazed. "I never knew that."

"I do. You were tiny."

"Hey, I was a baby."

"Well, you grew."

"So did you!"

Both laughed. Sam felt relief to have a connection with Dean.

"What about your powers?" asked Dean "Where did you get them?"

"All my life, basically. I can do all sorts of things. I don't like to through. I only use them when I have no choice. They make me feel like one of them."

"Demons?" Sam nodded. "I can't imagine what it would be like to have that kind of power."

"Please don't," said Sam looking up seriously. "I can't tell you how hard I fought to stay who I am."

"Have you killed people with them?"

"Only monsters."

"Croats? What about them?"

"They like me for some reason. I don't know why but they do what I say."

Dean nodded. "I see. I still don't know if I can trust you…"

"You can't." Dean looked at him curiously. "The Croats listen to me, but they also follow me. They're drawn to me for some reason."

"Which was why you wanted to leave so much." Sam nodded. "Well, that explains that. The first night I was sure you would have."

"I would have if Lucy hadn't handcuffed me to the bed," said Sam and both laugh. Sam stopped suddenly and looked away.

"What's wrong, Sam?"

"I put all of you in danger now. The Croats know I'm here, and they know I'm with people. They'll attack unless I lead them away."

"Aren't you tired of running? Of hiding?"

"Well, yes, but I don't really have a choice…"

"Bull shit! You always have a choice. You just choose to run."

"I told you, I don't have a choice!" yelled Sam jumping off the bed and turning to him. "Unlike some people I don't have the option to be around. I'm a target wherever I go. Demons trying to get to the dark side. Croats wanting to hang around me. I'm not like you, Dean. I can't just come and go in a cool air. The thing only I think about is surviving the next moment and hoping people are safe. Those are the choices I know. What else do you want me to do?"

"Stay," said Dean. Sam looked at him in shock.

"But, Dean, I…

Dean stood and grabbed Sam by the shoulders. It was forceful and scared Sam when Dean looked at him with angry eyes.

"Yes, you can. We are not defenseless here. We are always ready to defend against a Croat attack."

Sam shook his head and tried to push Dean off but Dean held his grip. "No, please, Dean, don't ask me to stay."

"I'm not asking you to. I meant it when I said you had a choice. I'm just asking you to think about it."

Sam looked at Dean and saw the desperation in his eyes. Dean wanted Sam to stay. Slowly Sam nodded. He didn't know why but something told him to stay with the man in front of him.

"Yes," he said dryly. He swallowed to moisturize his mouth. "Yes, I'll stay."

A look of relief went through Dean's face.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Law and Order **

Sam slept for a long time that night, the first peaceful sleep he had in what seemed like forever. He didn't know if it was because of his fight or the weight of his past was off his shoulders, or if it was Dean sitting by his side as he fell asleep. All he knew was that for the first time he slept without nightmares.

He woke the next morning to the twins laughing next to him. Both grinned in relief when they saw Sam had awakened. Dean was nowhere in sight, which made Sam feel a bit disappointed.

"Hey, there's our mutant," said Carl. "How you feeling, man?"

"Don't call me that," he said as he sat up, wincing at the pain in his chest. He swung his feet off the bed and sat on the cot.

"What, man?" asked Todd.

"No, mutant. Makes me feel like an even bigger freak."

"Hate to break it to you, man, but we're all freaks," said Carl with a smile. "You're just freakier than most."

Sam gave him a sarcastic, but grateful, smile. "Gee, thanks."

The twins laughed.

"The team wanted to know when you'd be awake," said Todd.

"Can I get breakfast first?"

"Sure," both said.

"Feel up to going to the cafeteria?" asked Todd.

"I'm allowed to leave?" asked Sam in shock.

"No one said you couldn't," said Carl. "And maybe a bath while you're at it, because, pe-yew, you stink."

Carl waved his hand in front of his face in emphasis. Sam grabbed his pillow and hit him over the head. That started a pillow fight between Sam and the twins.

"Hey, boys. Boys! What is this, a girl's slumber party?" yelled Lucy and they stopped. "My pillows! How could you do such a thing?"

"We're sorry," said Sam.

Lucy smirked. "I meant how you could play without me!" And she grabbed pillow and hit Carl with it. They laughed in surprise and the fight continued till all four were exhausted. The sat on the bed laughing and Lucy sighed. "All right, seriously. You shouldn't put stress on an injured man. Sam, let me see."

Sam had no choice but to let Lucy check his wounds. Some of the stitches in his chest tore out and she scolded all three for fighting and herself for joining. By then she was finished re-stitching them.

"Start a bath, you two," she snapped still red from embarrassment. Carl and Todd jumped out the door. "The nerve of them, hitting an injured man."

"It was good fun," said Sam. "And I seem to remember you joining in."

"Don't put this on me," she snapped and Sam laughed.

When Lucy finished bandaging Sam went to the shower and took a nice long one. If anyone tried to disturb him he didn't notice. He walked out feeling better than he did in ages. Lucy, Alli, Ben and all of Squad B made a group around him like bodyguards as he walked toward the mess. They entered the cafeteria and like when Sam first arrived the entire room fell silent and looked at the group as they entered. Everyone looked at Sam.

"You four get your breakfast," said Ethan to the Twins, Alan and Stephen. "We'll take Sam to the table."

They nodded and split, four going to grab their foods and the others taking Sam to the table.

"You're leadership skills are impressive," said Sam sitting down.

"I don't order, I ask," said Ethan. "Whether they obey or not is up to them."

"That's called respect," said Sam smiling at him. "That's good. Better you then me."

"They'll follow you too, Sam," said Alli across from him.

"I'm no leader!"

"They don't care if you are," said Lucy. "You showed yourself as a good person. Because of that, they'll follow you."

"But I don't want to lead them," said Sam as the rest joined them.

"I just took over after Sarge's dismissal…."

"Sarge was dismissed?!" said Sam in shock.

"Had to," said Alan. "He was going to kill you without a trail. Dean was furious."

"Where's he now?

"Lockup," said Stephan. "He'll be there till Dean decides what to do with him."

"But we still need a leader," said Alan.

"We vote Sam!" said the twins raising their hands.

"I second," said Alan.

"I third," said Stephan.

"We agree," said Alli and Lucy.

"You're not a part of the team," said Alan with a smile.

"We still agree," said Alli. She turned to Sam. "Face it, Sammy. You're screwed."

Sam sighed. "All right, if Ethan be my second."

Ethan nodded. "Agreed."

The group cheered so loud Sam covered his ears. Ethan didn't seem to mind and ate his breakfast.

"Sam," said Castiel when Sam had just finished. "Dean wants to see you"

"Sure, Cas," said Sam and he stood. The group stood with him but he motioned them back down. "I'll be fine, guys. I'm with Cas. Stay and finish."

The crew looked reluctant but sat back down as Sam and Castiel walked out of the cafeteria. Sam glanced apprehensively at the man in front of him. Castiel still had a stoned look and slightly slacked eyes. But unlike most stoners Sam had met, Castiel was the most clear-minded, and with his constant smile it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

"You heard what happened?" he asked. Castiel nodded. "I'm not evil!"

"I did not say you were," said Castiel. "You cannot help what you do, but your intentions behind it you can help."

"What?" asked Sam.

"Use the force, Luke," said Castiel mysteriously and laughed. "It took me a while to figure out what that meant."

"But everyone knows what that means," said Sam.

"I didn't." Castiel sighed. "I was brought up different. My whole family had a stick up their ass, as Dean would say."

"Where are they now?"

"They left. I stayed. End of story."

"So how do you feel about my…" Sam tapped his head.

"The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills," said Castiel and smiled. "I don't just read classics."

Sam chuckled and followed him to Dean's cabin. He stopped. Dean was standing over the table, maps of the city spread out on the top. What mad Sam stare was the fact that Dean was bare from the waist up. Scars crisscrossed and puckered on his back, shoulders and arms. Sam couldn't find a spot where there wasn't a mark.

"Dean, you got a visitor," said Castiel. Dean turned around and Sam nearly fainted. He was more gorgeous up front.

"Sam, good. How was your first day of freedom?" asked Dean. "Thanks, Cas. I got it from here."

"I know you do," said Castiel looking up at Sam. Sam looked at him curiously and Castiel winked at Sam suggestively Sam face went pale, knowing what he meant.

"Cas!" he hissed under his breath.

"Later," said Castiel and walked out. Sam's face went a bright red.

"He gets laid way too much," said Dean. "I never should have introduced him to Cheyenne."

"He's strange," said Sam turning back to Dean, and looked away from his bare chest. He cleared his throat. "You gonna put on a shirt?"

Dean looked at Sam with a smirk. "Why? Like what you see?"

"Please?"

Chuckling at Sam's uncomfortable stance he went to a chest and pulled out a shirt. "The other men don't have a problem with it. The women on the other hand…"

Sam shot him a glare. "Well, as you can see, I'm not other men and obviously not a woman."

"Obviously," said Dean smirking.

"So what did you want to see me about, other than you obvious physic?"

"I just wanted to say a punishment was decided and we need you there."

"Really?" asked Sam. "Why not earlier?"

"We wanted you to be there for the ruling," said Dean putting on his jacket.

"When's it?"

"After breakfast, so hurry and eat."

Sam worried his lip. He didn't like Sarge and what he had done to Sam was unjustified, but Sam hated the thought of the man being hurt because of him.

"You're not going to hurt them, are you?" he asked. Dean turned to him curiously.

"They hurt you," he said. "I'd thought you'd want the same."

"I don't want anyone hurt because of me," he said harshly. Dean gave a slight start at Sam's outburst and he looked away. "Never because of me."

"Well, I can assure you they won't get hurt, not by us anyway," said Dean. Sam looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

Dean grew uncomfortable. "You better go finish breakfast. We have a lot of work to do."

Sam wanted to ask more but Dean pushed him out and Sam walked back to the cafeteria, still confused.

"What did he want," asked Lucy worriedly.

"He just wanted to see how I was," he said sitting down. "He didn't hurt me. I'm fine, I swear."

That ease the nervousness of the team and they continued to eat. When the whole camp finished the tables were cleared and each turned to the front of the room. Castile, Chuck and Dean sat at the table in the front.

"We are her to pass judgment on the accused," said Dean. "Roy Williams, also known as Sarge, Paul Carlos, Calvin Leon, and Ronald Vernon. Bring them in."

Six guards led all four in. each had their own looks of shock, disbelief and anger. Sage had a look of intense hatred and anger.

"All four of you are charged with assault and attempted murder. How do you plea?"

"Not guilty," said Sarge, Paul and Calvin. Ron was hesitant before voicing his plea.

"Guilty," he said. The three leaders looked at him in surprise as did his three associates.

"You traitorous bastard!" yelled Sarge.

"After everything we did for you!" yelled Paul

"How could you!" yelled Calvin.

"Order," said Castiel loudly. "Order."

"SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN!" yelled Dean over everyone. The force of the yell made everyone silent and sat down. "Ron, why did you change you plea?"

"They made me do it," said Ron nodding to the three. "Gave me the whole us against them speech. The said if I didn't help them Wesson would kill us all. Then they would hurt me if I backed out."

"Zoe and the baby?" asked Chuck. Ron nodded.

"So the rest was what?" asked Dean. "Acting?"

"I guess I got caught up in it," said Ron shamefully.

"I'll say," said Castiel and picked up a sheet. "Two broken ribs, a knife wound and multiple cuts and bruises. You're lucky Sam can fight."

"I did what I had to," said Ron. "Judge me how you want. I have a clear conscious now."

Dean, Chuck and Castiel looked between each other and nodded.

"We are about to pass judgment," said Dean. He turned to Sam. "Sam Wesson, do you have anything to say?"

"No," said Sam. "I know why they did it."

"Very well. Roy Williams, Paul Carlos, Calvin Leon and Ronald Vernon, You all judged guilty." Roars went out from the crowd and Dean had to call order again. "They have been found guilty. The sentence, banishment." More yelling. Sam was shocked by Dean's judgment. "Any who wish to join them is free to go. They'll leave the same way they came. Clothe." He turned to Chuck who shook his head sadly before turning back to the group, more specifically Ron. "Ron, we'll let Zoe know. If she wishes to join you it's her choice."

"Please, don't tell her," begged Ron. "Carly's only a year old. Don't tell Zoe."

Dean thought for a moment and nodded. "That is all."

There was a roar from the crowd at the prisoners were lead away, some in anger and one cheering. Sam watched the guards lead them out. Sarge was glaring at Sam as he was lead out. Sam couldn't help but shake under the intense hatred toward him.

"You okay, sweetie?" asked Alli putting a hand on Sam shoulder.

"That was kind of harsh, wasn't it?" asked Sam. "Banishing them like that. They'll be killed."

"Possible, but what else are we to do with them? We don't have a jail and they're human so we can't kill them it was either killing them or let them continue trying to kill you."

"They'll be defenseless!"

"Not entirely," said Lucy. "Dean said they leave the same way they came. Everything they came with they leave with, including weapons."

"They'll be given guns and ammo," said Alan. "It's not as much as cruelty as giving them a chance. If they survive a year they can return."

That gave him a bit of ease, but he still didn't like the idea of banishing them but he knew that there was other way. It didn't take a psychic to know Sarge and his crew would continue to kill Sam if left in the camp, and Dean did give them a chance of surviving on the outside.

The troops stood and filed out. Sam's friend made a crowd around him as they went to the garden. They leaned against the fence and watched the workers.

"When will they leave?" he asked.

"This afternoon," said Stephan. "To give the ones who want to go with them time to pack. Not a lot of people like you."

"I know," said Sam. Sam watched the workers for a moment before pushing off. "I'll be back."

"We'll come with you," said Alan. Sam waved them off.

"No, I'll be fine."

"But what if something happens?" asked Lucy.

Sam smiled at her. "Are you kidding? I'm Haley Joel."

And he walked off. He spotted people that gave him surprised or frightened look but he ignored them. He walked toward Dean's cabin and knocked on the door.

"Come on," called Dean and Sam walked in. Dean didn't look up from the gun he was cleaning. "What do you want, Sam?"

"Do you do that to all your associates?" asked Sam.

"No, only the one who's try to kill people," said Dean and looked up at him "Why? You don't like my punishment?"

"No, I don't, but I understand it. People like that can't stay with others. It's best if they are gone."

"Good," said Dean and set the gun down. "I'd hate to think you thought I did this for you."

Sam had to laugh softly at that ad was surprised by Dean's soft smile. Sam smiled back.

"So what do you do now?" he asked.

"Business as usual," said Dean. "Survive the apocalypse."

"It's that what we've been doing," asked Sam and sat at the table. "What would have your father done in this situation?"

"Nothing, because he would have stopped it before it started."

Sam almost spoke on that but quietly kept to himself.

"How do you think it happened," he asked. "The Apocalypse."

"Same wimp of a demon wanted to break Satan out of Hell's asylum. Still don't know how they did it."

"Sixty-six seals."

"How did you know?" asked Dean surprised.

"An associate told me. I was hunting down Lilith. She was trying to break the seals."

"Looks like you were too late."

"Yeah," said Sam softly. He looked over at Dean. "You know, I never figured out why you were in Palo Alto."

"I found demon activity in the area and decided to check it out," said Dean. "I was in the neighborhood when your apartment was set on fire. I didn't think. I ran and grabbed you."

"Thanks," Said Sam. "I never did get to thank you."

"No problem," said Dean and Sam looked up at him. Sam suddenly felt Dean opening up to him through his eyes. Sam felt Dean so the same to him and looked away embarrassed. "I did wonder what happened to you after that. I thought of you sometimes."

"We only met that one night," said Sam. "And only for a minute."

"I know but I did. I can't explain it."

Sam remembered when he would dream of Dean. It was unusual how Sam would dream of a man he hardly met, but to hear Dean say that he had been thinking of Sam as well was strangely coincidental.

"You think there's a reason?" asked Sam. "I dream of you, which is weird, but you think of me. That's even weirder. Sure you're not cognitive?"

"I'm sure," said Dean with a smile. "I don't know why I think of you. I just do. I can't explain it."

Sam's breathed slowed. Why did he get so happy when Dean said he still thought of Sam? Sam had never thought of another man. Only dreamt of Dean every once in a while. Sam had thought about Dean sometimes, but that was only curiosity. After a while it felt like Dean was the only friend in his life, even if he was in Sam's head. But when did it become more than that?

"How much did you dream?" asked Dean. "About me?"

"A lot. I remember you being shooting a zombie. Why you thought it was a hell hound I don't know."

"Oh God, you saw that," said Dean laughing. "Not one of my better days."

Sam laughed too. "That was one of my favorites. Every time I was down, I thought of you and that zombie."

Dean laughed. "Glad I'm good for something," he said and both laughed till they were exhausted. "What about you? Any embarrassing moments for you?"

Sam laughed. "I was too busy staying alive to do any embarrassing things. My life was actually rather dull."

"Well, it won't be now," said Dean with a smile. They spent the rest of the visit talking about their various hunts and debate on what was best to kill what creature. They were so absorbed in their conversation they didn't hear Castiel walk in.

"Did I interrupt something," he asked when they looked at him in surprise.

"No," said Dean, clearing his throat. "What is it, Cas?"

"The prisoners are ready. The camp is lining the gates. We're just waiting for you and Sam." Castiel gave Sam a reassuring smile. Sam smile back gratefully.

"Okay," said Dean standing. "Come on, Sam. Let's say good-bye to our old friends."

Sam nodded and followed Dean and Castiel out to the gates. He nearly stopped in shock at the mass of people around the entrance to camp. Castiel hadn't been kidding when he said the whole camp was there. There were more people there then Sam had met.

Dean and Castiel walked up to the front with Chuck and Sam stood at the edge of the crowd with Lucy, Alli and Ethan. The crowd was talking in low voices.

"They'll be given guns when they're past the gates," explained Lucy with her hand on his arm comfortingly. "Then they are to walk away from camp with their backs turned till camp is out of sight. After that is up to them."

"Aren't you afraid they'll come back and hurt people again," asked Sam. "Finish what they started?"

"That's why we're here," said Ethan. "And Dean doubled the guards around the fence."

"He did?" asked Sam in surprise.

"A lot of work for a man he met just a few weeks ago," said Alli. Sam looked at Dean, hoping to find a reason but the man's face was stoic, completely different from his laughing smile a short while ago.

"Bring out the prisoners!" yelled Dean.

The doors of the recreation cabin opened and the prisoners walked out between the aisle of people. As they walked six others joined them. If the three leaders up front were surprised they didn't show it.

"You four are here to be banished from this camp for a year and a day," said Dean. "Any who follow you not accused have till sundown tomorrow to reconcile. Be assured your families will be taken care of. Any words?"

"You're all hypocritical bastards!" yelled Sarge. "You say you're fighting the devil but you have him among us!" He points to Sam. "He is the Devil! The wolf in sheep's clothing! He hides among you to damn you to all eternity! I did what I felt necessary to protect us! I will not answer to you or your judgments. The lord Father Almighty is on my side. I will be reward in heaven, and you all will burn in hell!"

Sam winced as if every word stung, not from his feels but the truth of it. Lucy wrapped her arm around his and hugged it. Sam smiled down at her, somewhat relieved. He looked at Alli and saw her smile at him too.

"Leave now," ordered Castiel after a minute of silence. "And let God have mercy on your souls."

"Ask mercy not for me, but for you," yelled Sarge and the small group walked out of the gates. True to what Lucy sad they walked with their backs to camp.

"It's not true," she said. "You're not evil. We know it, you know it. Dean knows it."

"Maybe," said Sam softly. "Maybe."

**TBC**

-"Law and Order" is a TV series on TNT


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Miller Time**

Sam woke early as usual and tried to remember where he was. Then he did. He had been made the leader of the squad, his things moved to the single bed at the front of the room. It was a little disconcerting to go from the newest member to the leader in a few weeks.

For once his nightmares that night had been normal. Images of Sarge returning and killing him flashed in his head. When he woke he half expected Sarge to be leaning over his bed, knife in hand, but all he was the cabin rafters. He sighed.

"Come on, Sam," said Alan. "We're sending the food out to the refugee camp today."

"All right," said Sam with a yawn.

After a quick shower the team into the cafeteria. Sam frowned when he saw Lucy and Ali in a deep discussion. Alli was shaking her head as Lucy talked urgently.

"What's that about," he asked the twins as they walked in.

"Don't know," they said and they walked over to join the two women. When the team neared the table Lucy and Alli stopped talking and looked up at them.

"What's up," Sam asked to Lucy and Alli. Lucy looked apprehensive while Alli looked frustrated.

"Nothing," Alli snapped. Lucy shook her head with a look that told Sam not to get into it.

"Okay," he said and sat down. "What time does the convoy head out?"

"As soon as it's packed," said Stephan. "Meat is hard to keep cold nowadays."

"Going anywhere is hard nowadays," said Carl. The rest of the team nodded as they ate their breakfast. As soon as they were finished they went behind the kitchen and found Chuck directing the meat out of the walk-in cooler to the freezer truck.

"Oh good, we need all the help we can get," said Chuck when he spotted the team.

"Anytime," said Sam. As the team went to help he turned to Ethan. "I still don't know why he doesn't like me."

"It is unusual," said Ethan. "Chuck's a strange but likable guy. Why he doesn't like anyone is weird."

Sam looked over at Chuck. "Who is he, exactly?"

"He's Chuck," said Todd in a matter of fact.

"Other than that."

"He's our chronicler, head of council, head of inventory…" started Stephan.

"Why does a camp of soldiers need a chronicler in the middle of Armageddon?" asked Sam. The team looked confused. Sam smiled. "Never mind. Let's help load."

The team didn't question and they helped load the meat. Sam helped too, and all the while it felt like Chuck was watching him. It didn't take long to load the freezer truck and the group went to their other duties. Sam looked over at Chuck writing on a clip-board. His glasses were pressed against his nose.

"How are we doing, Chuck," Sam asked walking over to him.

"We're fine," said Chuck barely glancing at Sam. "We could use some more meat for us. I'll need to talk Dean to send a few teams out to hunt."

"When does the truck leave?"

Chuck nodded toward a Peterbuilt. "As soon as the supplies are loaded. According to their latest message they're running low on some strict essentials."

"Like toilet paper?" asked Sam as a joke. Chuck quirked a smile.

"To name one." Chuck gave him a look that was friendly. It took Sam by surprise. "You're different, Sam."

That shocked him. "We're all different, Chuck."

Chuck shook his head. "No, you're different-different."

And he walked away writing his notes, leaving Sam staring confused at the cooler. Huck always seemed to know things before it happened and Castiel seemed to know everything. A combination of the two was either good or bad. Both men appeared normal but Sam could tell something was different with them and no one talked about it.

"Come on, Sam," called Alan. "We got cafeteria duty."

Sam walked in and began making mashed potatoes. He washed, skinned and diced them and put them in water to boil. When they were soft he mashed them and set it on the hot plate to keep and went to the mess hall. Ethan as laughing at a magazine of _Guns and Ammo_ with a group of soldiers. Stephan, Alan, Ben Todd and Carl were in a circle with Todd and Carl between them playing some sort of card game.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Yu-Gi-Oh," said Carl. "You play?"

Sam shook his head. "Never heard of it."

"Shame, it's a good game," said Todd. "Full of battles and strategy. You would be good at it."

"If you're into traps, magic and monsters," said Carl.

Sam shook his head laughing. "Nah, you guys know more than me," he said.

He walked back in the kitchen. He looked at the soup and decided a bit of thyme was need and went to the herb garden he was grabbing a small handful when something hard hit him in the back, followed by something wet. He turned around to find a ripe red tomato on the dirt ground. He looked at the group picking.

"Who threw that?" he yelled. A few glanced at him, some in curiosity but most in scorn. "That's our food, people! We can't just be throwing it around! So who threw that?!"

He still got no answer. He started walking back to the kitchen when another tomato hit him. He turned around to find the workers still picking. Growling he went back in, ground the thyme and put it in the soup. He took off his flannel and put it in the laundry basket pushed to the side for used dish rags.

During supper very few ate Sam's mashed potatoes. Sam couldn't tell them not to and continued to serve. When he and the team sat with Lucy and Alli, Lucy had a huge smile on her face.

"You won't believe what happened," she said.

"What?" asked the twins.

"Dean was screaming at the workers in the garden. Something about wasting food."

Sam paused with his food halfway to his mouth. "What's that mean," he asked nervously.

"Apparently he found some tomatoes on the ground. He was furious. He hollered at the leader a new one for allowing it to happen and not telling him right away."

Sam put down his spoon, suddenly not hungry. Did Dean know the workers threw the tomatoes at him in the garden? Dean did say Sam could tell him anything but Sam didn't want to run to Dean over every little thing. Sam wasn't that kind of person.

"Why would someone waste food," asked Todd. "It's like wasting air. It's stupid."

"Which is why Dean's so mad," said Alli. Question is why someone would be so stupid? We have no food to waste."

Sam pushed his peas around as the rest of the team shrugged. Lucy gave him a curious look before turning back to the conversation with Todd and Carl.

When supper was over Sam and the team collected dishes to wash and wiped down everything. When they were finished it was already late and dark and the rest of the camp was asleep. They were going back to the cabin when they passed the Medical Cabin. The light was still on. Lucy opened the door and waved.

"Hey, Sam! Want to talk?"

"Sure," said Sam, always happy to talk to Lucy. He waved to the rest to go back to the cabin and walked into the cabin. Lucy went to the cabinet and took out a jar.

"Sit down," she ordered. Sam sat down, curious.

"I thought you wanted to talk," he said.

"I do, but I also want to check your wounds." She held up a canteen. "Two birds with one stone. Shirt up."

Sam pulled his shirt off, wincing when the bruises and the cut on his chest and stomach moved. By lamplight Lucy managed to salve his bruises and inspect the stitches.

"How does it feel," she asked.

"Better now," he said. Lucy slapped him.

"Before that!" she said. "I can feel you were tense. Anything else? Pain? Spasms?"

"All three?" he said with a chuckle. "Especially when I lift things."

"Easy solution for that; don't lift things." Lucy smiled and gently poked his shoulder to get him to lie on his stomach so she could massage his back. "So, how was your first day back?"

Sam turned. Did she know about the tomatoes too? "It was okay. Same as usual."

"Sam…"

He looked up at her. "What?"

"You know what happened in the tomato field, don't you," she asked sitting on the bed next to him.

"Who told you that?" asked Sam in surprise.

"You did, just now and earlier." Sam sighed, and not in relief. "If they're giving you a hard time, just tell us. We'll protect you."

"Lucy." Sam sat up and turned to her. "I'm fine. I'm glad you guys want to watch out for me, but sometimes you won't be there and I can't depend on you all the time. I just want you to be my friends."

"But…."

"Lucy, please, I love you, as friends so remind Alli of that." Lucy laughs. "And you're one of my best friends, but I'm been taking care of myself since I was six. I'll be fine."

Sam could tell that Lucy was reluctant but she nodded. Smiling Sam wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her head. Lucy smiled and leaned against him.

"Okay, Sam," she said. They sat that way for a minute in a comfortable silence.

"I saw you and Alli arguing earlier," said Sam. "Why?"

"Oh, it just a silly squabble," said Lucy. "Nothing to worry your little head about."

"Lucy, talk goes both ways." Lucy sat still. After a moment Sam knew why. "It's about me, isn't it?"

"Partly," said Lucy with a nervous smile. "I want a baby."

Sam smiled. "That's great!"

"And I want it to be yours."

Sam's face dropped.

"What?"

"I know. I know." Lucy sighed. "Alli was against it too."

"She doesn't like me?" he asked. Lucy laughed.

"Oh no, she loves you. No, it's not you. She wants a baby too, and wouldn't mind it being yours." Lucy looked away. "It's this world we live in."

Sam could understand that. Not even he wanted to raise his child in a world like this. He used to watch the Terminator movies. Now he knew what Kyle Reese felt like.

"So, how are you guys now?"

"At an impasse," she said. "I know where Alli's coming from. I feel it too, but I also feel time slipping from me. I'm tired of leaving death behind. I want to leave something behind."

"Have you told Alli this?"

Lucy shook her head. "I felt silly telling you this."

Sam smiled at her softly and hugged her, laughing softly. If he ever had a sister, he wanted her to be like Lucy.

"I think you should tell her," he said. "She loves you. She'll listen. I can't say she'll agree, but she'll listen."

Lucy smiled and smiled up at him through tearful eyes. "You're a good friend, Sam, you know that, right?"

"Only to a select few," he said. Lucy laughed.

"Then I am honored. Now His Highness needs to get to bed."

Sam laughed. Shrugging on his shirt, he got off the bed and bowed to Lucy.

"My lady," he said in a teasing tone. "I bid you good night."

Lucy laughed. "Good night, my god sir," she said.

With a wave Sam walked out. Talking to Lucy always made him feel better. But he actually really wanted to talk to Dean. The man had enough hunting stories to make a book out of. Sam learned how to distinguish the difference between a succubus and a siren, shapeshifter and skinwalker. Another thing was that Sam felt a pull to Dean. He didn't know why but he was becoming excited whenever Dean was around, and disappointed when he wasn't. If Sam didn't know any better, he swore he as infatuated with the man.

Sam stopped for a moment. He didn't need to hear the soft steps to know he was being followed. By at least six people. He mentally growled. Why can't they leave him alone?

He turned a corner and turned to face his shadows. All of E squad walked around and saw him standing there. He considered using his push power to make them leave him alone but on more than two people was a headache he didn't want, three a migraine. He didn't want to think about what six would do.

"Look, I don't want any trouble," he said. "I just want to go to my bunk and go to sleep. Let me pass."

"Forget it, freak," said one. "Get him."

They rushed him. Sam managed to side step the first attack and punches the second. Not long after he was in the off a scuffle, holding one man in a headlock as he tried to kick and punch another, but he wasn't able to block the punch to his stomach. He doubled over with a gasp and fell heavily on the ground. He barely heard the shouting. He was in too much pain. The next thing he knew he was looking up at a blurry shape.

"Don't hurt me," he muttered turning away. The figure shushed him.

"I will never hurt you, Sammy," said a very familiar voice that felt like heaven in Sam's ears.

"Dean?" He heard scuffling not far off, so it most likely Dean wasn't the only one there.

"Don't move, Sam. Those douchebags tore out your stitches."

"Lucy?"

"Duh. Who else would drag her ass away from her beautiful life partner to stitch back up your torn ass?"

"Sam, what happened?" asked Dean with a tone of annoyance.

When Sam opened his eyes he found himself looking up at Dean lying on his lap. He felt his neck warm as Dean looked down at him in concern. Lucy was sitting next to him lifting his shirt to look at his stitches.

"They were following me," said Sam, wincing as Lucy prodded his body for broken bones. "I asked them to leave me alone and the next thing I knew I was a human punching bag."

"Those bastards he growled.

"Hey!" yelped Sam when Lucy poked a liver. "Very uncomfortable."

"Sorry, checking for injuries."

"Where are they now?"

"Your squad's putting the back to the barracks on their asses and putting them on lock down," said Dean. "I'll be questioning them tomorrow."

"But more than likely fought out of fear," said Lucy. "When Sarge said when he and the other's left rattled a lot of people. They needed to blame someone and you're it."

"Gee great," said Sam sarcastically.

"Ethan, Ben, stretcher," ordered Dean. As the two men approached Sam protested.

"No, no stretcher. I can walk."

"You have torn stitches, Samuel Wesson," said Lucy. "You're bleeding. You're going on the stretcher."

"But…"

"Listen to the lady," said Dean. "You'll be in my cabin soon."

"Your cabin?!" Sam's heart started beating faster at the thought of being in Dean's cabin again.

"Easy, you may have a concussion," said Lucy. She turned to Ethan and Ben. "Gently."

Ethan and Ben put him on the stretcher with the help of Dean and Lucy. They handled him like a porcelain doll that made him want to weep. Dean had the second bed removed so they put him on Dean's.

"Ethan, go get my bag," said Lucy. "IT has all I need. Ben, get me a jar of Alan's moonshine."

"Why?" he asked.

"Pain killers only go so far and I'm out of anesthesia. Go."

Ben left and Lucy started pulled off Sam's shirt. Both men walked back in and Lucy handed Sam the Mason jar of alcohol. Sam looked at it warily.

"Trust me you don't want to be coherent for this."

Sam drank down the moonshine and coughed at the kick.

"Wow, this is some stuff," he said.

"We know," said his friends with laughing smiles. Sam drank till his head and body felt numb.

"Lay back," ordered Lucy.

Sam did as he fell into a drunken state. He didn't even feel the stitches Lucy put back in.

"Why didn't you kill me," he said drunkenly. Through the haze he saw only Dean. The others had left. "You should have killed me."

"You're drunk, Sam," said Dean. "You don't know what you're saying. Just sleep."

"I'm a bad person," said Sam, ad started to sob. "I've done bad things. Everywhere I go, something bad happens."

"You're not bad. You try to help people."

Sam looked at him desperately. "I'm evil. Everything I tough dies. No one's safe."

"Sam, calm down. You're a good person. You have friends…."

"Should have killed me."

"No!" Dean grabbed Sam's shoulder. "I won't kill you."

"Why not?"

Dean looked at him uncertain. "I don't know."

Sam turned away, sleep almost claiming him. "Should have. Deserve it, after what I did."

"Hush, Sam, it's not important," said Dean as Sam closed his eyes to sleep.

"I ended the world," said Sam softly before he slept.

**TBC**

-Miller Time is of course used in reference to alcohol.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Friends in Low Places **

Sam woke to Dean watching him from the chair next to the bed, and a splitting headache. He winced at the blinding light that pierced his eyes.

"Uh, turn off the light, please," he said turning away. He heard a curtain close and the room darkened. "Oh, thank you."

"Feel better," asked Dean. Sam turned to look at him and regretted it when his stomach shifted.

"No," he said and ran to the bathroom to be sick. His stomach and throat burned as he vomited into the toilet bowl. Exhausted he sat on the floor and groaned. He felt a hot towel on his neck. He turned to see Dean gently rubbing his back, the same way a mother would for a sick child.

"Thanks," he said smiling gratefully at him.

"No problem," said Dean with a soft look, but Sam saw something else behind the green eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," said Dean.

"I said something, didn't I," asked Sam embarrassingly.

"You could say that."

Sam was so embarrassed. He groaned and put his head on his arm that was rested on the toilet seat. "God, I hate getting drunk."

"What happens beside you blabbing?" asked Dean.

"I get emotional. I start talking about my feelings."

Dean chuckled. "Oh yeah. There was a chick-flick moment there." Sam groaned again. "I take it you don't get drunk often."

"I try to avoid it," said Sam he heard the water run and he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Here. Wash your mouth out."

Sam took the offered cup and did. It took a few rinsing before he got the taste out.

"So what did I say?" he asked brushing his teeth.

"Aside from the touchy-feely crap, nothing," said Dean. He didn't say it with his usual sarcastic air. Sam paused and looked at him.

"Dean, what did I say?" he asked.

"It's not important, Sammy. Like you said, when you're drunk, you blabber. What is important is the bitching Lucy's gonna give you for getting out of bed."

Sam winced. Lucy was going to have a cow if she found out.

"I won't tell if you won't?" he said humorously.

"Don't bother." They turned around to find Lucy with her medical bag and a not too happy expression. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Samuel Wesson?!"

"Getting hung-over," said Sam. He walked over and sat on the bed. Lucy opened her bag and took out a bottle of pills.

"I should be reaming you a new one but by the way you look I'd say I don' need to," she said handing him he the pills and a glass of water. Sam swallowed the pills. "Shirt."

Sam shrugged off his shirt and Lucy changed his bandage. She also inspected his stitched and was glad to see that he had not torn them in his sleep. She rubbed salve over the stitches to keep the skin soft.

"How do you feel?" asked Lucy.

"Like the entire cast of "Stomp" is dancing around me head, and they're not happy," he said with a smirk.

"I'll have the cook make you some soup," she said. "And no strenuous activity! If I have to tie you down to get you to rest, so help me I will!"

"Trust me, she will," said Dean.

"Don't get me started on you, Mr. Macho!"

Sam had to chuckle at Dean's guilty look, and winced when Lucy punched him in the arm.

"Ow! Sore!"

"It's going to be sorer if you don't rest!"

Sam lay down as a knock sounded at Dean's door and Chuck ran in.

"The convoys are gone!" he yelled.

"What?! Yelled all three of them. Sam shot out of bed and hissed at the pain from his chest.

"Down, boy," said Lucy pushing him back.

"What do you mean the convoys are gone?!" said Dean

"I mean a messenger from the refugee camp just told me they didn't get any supplies the last month."

"That's impossible," said Lucy. "We've been sending out runs regularly. And our groups always come back."

"I know," said Dean. "It doesn't make sense."

"Who went on the runs?" asked Sam. "Who was in charge?"

"Till now, Sarge," said Chuck. "He picked the teams and planned the routes."

"And he was the one who dropped everything off?"

"Yes," said Dean. "Wait, you don't think Sarge stole the food?"

"I'm saying it's a possibility," said Sam.

"Chuck what did you see?" asked Dean. Sam looked him in confusion.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Everyone ignored him.

"If you mean a vision, nothing. Not since the end of the world began. And Cas didn't exactly getting any juice since he took his swan dive!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Sam.

"I find it hard to believe Sarge would betray us," said Lucy. "This community means everything to him."

"He's been in the military," said Chuck. "Maybe he felt he was better qualified to lead the community."

"What about Cas's spies?" asked Dean. "What did they say?"

"They had no clue what was going on. It was very well placed."

"Okay, time out and freeze," said Sam, irritated at being ignored. They looked at him in surprise. "Rewind. Visions? Swan dive? What the hell are you guys talking about?"

The three look at each other questioningly. Dean looked at Chuck and nodded toward Sam.

"Tell him," he said.

"You sure?" asked Chuck.

Dean looked at Sam, a look that told Sam that Dean was about to tell him something major important.

"I'm sure."

Chuck sighed and turned to Sam. "I used to be the Prophet of the Lord."

"Used to be?" asked Sam confused.

"Yeah, since the whole apocalypse thing, God took my gift away, which was a good thing. Headaches were killer."

"And Cas?"

"Formerly known as Castiel, Angel of Thursday," said Castiel walking in. "I take it we're telling him."

"Yeah," said Lucy. "There's more to our Sam then meets the eye."

"Why are you here," asked Sam to Castiel. "You could be upstairs watching all the little people slaughter each other."

The look of intense anger made Sam cringe. "Through I love God more than anything, we have our differences. I did not agree to protect the life he created just to watch them be slaughtered. So I cut my wings and fell."

"God, Cas, sorry," said Sam, then instantly regretted it. Castiel smiled at him with reassurance.

"Don't be, Sam, I'm not. And don't worry about saying God's name in front of me. I have made my peace of what I did and have not regretted it."

Sam smiled gratefully.

"Cas, why are you here?" asked Dean.

"Rumors will circulate fast. Everyone will hear about the disappearing convoys. And who will they blame?"

"Oh, God," groaned Lucy. "This can't be happening."

"Who started it," asked Chuck.

"My spies are looking into it."

"I guess we didn't get all of Sarge's internal spies," said Sam. "I'm going to start walking backwards."

"Then who'll watch your back?" asked Lucy and they laughed. Sam could feel the tension fall away from the small group.

"We'll have to come up with a way to forcing out Sarge's supporters," said Chuck after the laughter died down.

"They're not going to just slip upon us unnoticed," said Castiel. "Even my spies are having a hard time finding them."

"Are you sure they're all Sarge's supporters?" asked Sam in thought. "What if they're just random scared people?"

"Big boy's got a point," said Lucy. Dean's eyes were unfocused in thought.

"We'll have no choice but to question the people," he said. "At least till we have solid information."

"But how are we going to draw them out?" asked Chuck.

"Me," said Sam after a second of silence. "Send me out there. I'm the cause anyway."

"But your stitches…." started Lucy.

"I've had worse when this and still managed to walk five miles in a day. They want to make me the bad guy, I'm the bad guy."

"You're not a bad person," snapped Lucy. Sam glanced at Dean who gave Sam a skeptical look. Sam was surprised and curious about why. Dean was a hard man to understand but Sam thought he was getting through to him. Why would dean be skeptical of him?

"Sam's right, again," he said still looking at him. It's the only way to separate the supporters from the mob."

"Dean, you can't be agreeing to this," said Lucy in surprise.

"What do you want me to do?" asked Dean. "Put everyone in cages? Torture them to tell us whether they support Sarge or us?"

"Well, no, but for Sam to be bait..."

"War is hard on everyone," said Sam tearing off the covers. "Sacrifices must be made. Dean knows that as much as I do."

"No, Sam…" Lucy tried to push him back down but Sam caught her hands gently in his and gave her a look.

"Lucy, this is my home for now. I need to protect it, by any means necessary."

"You're not a bad guy, Sam," she said.

Sam raised a hand and cupped her cheek gently. "Only to you," he said and softly kissed her forehead softly. He got out of bed, slowly to not strain his stitches. Grabbing his shirt and pants he slowly and carefully dressed. Lucy watched with a mix of fear and anxiousness.

When he walked outside he was surprised to find his team waiting outside the porch. When he exited the cabin each member immediately got up and stood in attention. The sudden show of respect startled Sam more than their appearance.

"Uh, at ease," he said uncertainly. They went to an at ease pose. "Uh, no, no. Don't do that! Why are you doing that?"

"It's respectful," said Carl. "You are our team leader.

"We may be a team, and I may be your leader, but I'm to going to force you to do something you don't want. Especially all this military song and dance routine Sarge stuffed down your throats."

The team smiled at him and went up to great him, shaking Sam's hand and asking about his health. Sam answered them, glad his friends were with him. He turned to smile at Dean, and was glad to see a smile on Dean's face, but there was also an uncertainty in his eyes and Sam knew why.

"Guys, can I talk to Dean, alone?"

The others looked at each other curiously.

"Why," asked the twins.

"Just need to ask him something," said Sam and pushed a reluctant Dean in the Medical Cabin. "Okay, what did I do?"

"What do you mean?" asked Dean defensively.

"That," said Sam pointing at him. "What did I do to earn that?"

"Sam, let's just drop it and joint he others…."

"So something is bothering you?" asked Sam.

"There's always something bothering me."

"You'd tell me, right?"

"Yes." Sam gave him a skeptical look. "I will."

Sam still wasn't at ease but he took his friend's word. "Okay, that's all I want. You're my friend, and if something bothering you, you can tell me right?"

Surprise went through Dean's face and something else that Sam couldn't tell. "You think I'm a friend," he asked.

"Of course," said Sam. "Don't you think I'm a friend?"

"I don't know. I think of Chuck and Cas as associates and Lucy too, but as friend, I don't know."

"But you've known them for a long time."

"War change how a man thinks."

"And also how it changes how he sees his family, and his acquaintances."

"How do you know," asked Dean skeptically.

"I've been fighting this war my whole life, same as you. I guess I learned how handle fighting differently."

"Guess so."

Sam looked disappointed. With their similar background Sam had hoped Dean would understand his thoughts and actions, one a military child to another, but it didn't seem that way.

"Thanks for the talk," said Sam and left. The team stood immediately as Sam walked out.

"What was that about?" asked Stephan.

"Nothing," said Sam. "Don't we have garden duty today?"

"Yes," said Ethan.

"Then let's go."

Sam walked to the filed sand the group followed. He knew his team wanted to ask him questions but he didn't want to answer.

"Lucy said you should take it easy," said Alan worried.

"Never was good at doing nothing," he said.

"You could tear the stitches out again," said Stephan walking in front of Sam and stopped him. Sam didn't have to look to know his team was surrounding him.

"Ganging up on the team leader, Ethan," asked Sam looking at his second. Ethan gave him a small smile.

"You said you wanted equality," said Ethan. "This is us thinking equally."

Sam laughed. "I suppose I did. Let's take a vote. Who all here agrees with me that I should work?" Only Sam raised his hand. "All oppose?"

Five hands raised. Sam sighed. He did say he wanted his tea, to act on equal footing. He supposes he should have expected them to act no less, but he didn't want to be King Arthur with his Knight of the Round Table at his side.

_'More like Dean's King Arthur and I'm a knight, one of the lesser ones that no one knows the name of,'_ thought Sam as he watched his team pick pickles and cucumber. Each member constantly watched Sam to make sure he didn't join in. One of them struck into song and soon everyone was singing "Me and My Gang." Sam didn't know the song but the team got a hoot out of it and attempted to teach Sam, who didn't see the point but admitted it was a funny song.

"All right, you sing one," said Todd.

Sam thought for a moment. His men seem to like country and he knew a few songs.

"_I don't know why I act the way I do like I ain't got a single thing to lose. Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy. I guess that's just the cowboy in me…."_

As Sam sung the whole team paused to listen, and not just the team. All those nearby stopped and some joined in. Soon, Sam had the whole field singing along.

As the group sang, Sam glanced to see Dean watching him off to the side. That made Sam curious. Dean hadn't been this vigilante around Sam since Sam first arrived. Why would he now?

"Whoa," said the Twins.

"You got a nice voice, Sam," said Alan.

"I sound like a screeching chicken," said Sam with a laugh.

"It wasn't so bad," said Stephan. "I know a few people who do sound like chicken scratch."

Sam laughed. It felt good to be among friends again. He had been running for so long the thought of friends had become a taboo. No one was safe around him, and now here he was laughing and singing with a group of people he should have no connection with. What was he thinking?

"Hey, Sam!" Sam turned to see Ben run toward him. "I heard you were hurt. I visited but you were out cold."

"Sorry about that," said Sam "Some people disagreed on my staying here."

"Those guys are fucked up yahoos."

"Ben!" said Sam shocked. Ben gave him an innocent look.

"What? Dean says it all the time."

"I'm surprised your mother left you with him."

"She kind of has to. He's my dad."

Sam stared at Ben in shock. Dean was a father? He had never thought of Dean being a father but now that Sam had a closer look at Ben he saw some adolescent resemblances. One difference was that Ben was too old to be an Apocalypse Baby.

"Your mom in the camp, right?" he asked. Ben nodded.

"She didn't want me here, but Dean said I needed training. I've been here a year and haven't left the compound yet."

"Dad's real protective, huh?" asked Sam with a pang of longing for his father. "They want to keep their kids safe."

"Dean said your mom died when you were a kid and your dad when you were twenty-two."

"Yeah, I did."

Ben didn't say anymore but sat next to Sam in comfort. They stayed that way till dinner and they team headed to the mess cabin to eat. The men were celebrating because it was pizza Sunday, apparently a once a month even in the compound.

At dark Sam and the team were heading to their cabin as Dean walked up.

"Sam, a word," he called.

Sam looked at his team before walking back to Dean's cabin. From the way Dean walked he was clearly troubled about something. When Sam entered the cabin he closed the door behind him and Dean turned to him.

"While you were under you said some…things," he said. "Thing I don't understand yet."

Sam thought back to the night before. He hardly remembered what happened. He did remember the pain, looking up at Dean and Lucy's worried faces, but saying something? Nothing came to mind.

He thought hard and something slicked in his memory.

"_You should have killed me…I'm evil…No one's safe…You should have killed me….After what I did…I ended the world." _

He felt bile rise in his throat. "Oh, God," he said.

"You remember?" said Dean curiously. Sam looked up at him in fear.

"Dean…."

Dean grabbed Sam's shirt and shoved him against the door. Sam cried out from the force jarring his chest. The look of pure anger on Dean's face was far then the pain in his chest.

"What kind of monster are you?!" yelled Dean. "Shapeshifter? Rougarou? Demon? What kind of freak ends the world and plays with our minds afterwards?!"

"I don't know!" Sam yelled back. Dean still glared at him as Sam looked back pleadingly, hoping the other man would believe him. "I don't know what I am, but I never wanted this to happen!"

"Like hell I'll believe you."

"It's the truth, Dean. I don't know of any other way to explain it."

Dean looked at him for a long time. Sam just stared back, hoping and begging for Dean to understand, after a long minute Dean let Sam go but pulled out his gun. Sam took a deep breathe to loosen the pain in his chest. Dean still gave him a distrustful look.

"You have a lot of explaining to do," he said.

**TBC**

-"Friends in Low Places" is a song by Garth Brooks


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Amazing Grace**

Sam felt like a pit had been dug and with no way to get out. He pulled out a chair and sat down. Dean sat on a chair opposite him and set the gun on the table, a reminder that it was there and he would use it if he didn't like Sam's answer. Somehow Sam didn't see the gun, or even thought about it. His mind had gone back to the day that had haunted him for five years, a day he wished he could forget.

"She said I could stop it," he said distantly.

"Who said?" asked Dean.

"Ruby." Sam looked up at him. "A demon I met while on the run. She said I could stop Lilith with the powers I had buried inside me."

"Stop what?"

"The Apocalypse. She said I was the only one who could." Sam looked at the gun almost pleadingly. "She lied."

"What happened?" asked Dean.

"She trained me, helped me develop my powers to almost where they are now. 'Practice for Lilith,' she said. I hunted down demons, one by one, and forced information out of them. If they didn't have what I wanted I killed them. It came to the point where I almost enjoyed it." Sam scrubbed his face in his hands. "I never harmed humans through. That was one thing I refused to do. I only went after monsters."

"How did it happen?"

"We found out Lilith was going to open the gates to Lucifer's prison in a church in Maryland. She said that with my abilities I could stop her."

"How?"

"I could exorcise demons with my mind. Works most of the time, but it gave me killer headaches."

Dean looked at him in surprise. "You can do that?"

"Not anymore. The headaches got so bad that I stopped. I guess I was scared of brain damage. But that's what I did to Lilith. I didn't just exorcise her. I killed her."

"But how did that start…"

"'The first will be the last'," said Sam. "Lilith wasn't going to open the last seal. She was the last seal. And Ruby knew it."

"She set you up."

Sam nodded. "I killed her after that and here we are today." He looked up at Dean seriously. "And there isn't a day that goes by that I wish I could go and change it all, but I'm not God. I don't have that power."

Dean was silent for a long while. "You started the Apocalypse. You let the Devil out of the cage!"

"Not intentionally!" said Sam. "If I had known I wouldn't have killed her. I would have sent her back! I would… have…."

Sam saw Dean's hand twitched to the gun and he closed his eyes, more than ready to die for what he did. He thought if he told someone he'd feel some sense of relief, but it only made him feel worse. Add the fact that Dean, who Sam care for more than he could say, blamed him made Sam feel that death was too easy for him.

Sam heard Dean's chair push back. Dean walked across the floor and opened the door.

"Get out." Sam opened his eyes and saw Dean next to the open door. "Out. I need to think."

"You're not going to kill me?" asked Sam.

"I don't know. That's what I want to think about."

Sam stood and walked to the door. He stopped after walking down the stairs and looked back at Dean.

"I really did try to stop it," he said.

Dean just quietly closed the door. Sadly Sam walked back to his cabin and walked in to be greeted by his team.

"What did Dean want?" asked Alan.

"Nothing, just talk," said Sam quietly. "Bed, all of you."

"Sam, are you okay," asked Ethan walking up to their leader.

"Now!"

Sam immediately regretted snapping at his friends but the team went to their beds before he could apologize, looking at him worriedly. Sam went to his bunk under Ethan's and to go to sleep but that was a long way off with how his mind was. When he did go to sleep it was plague by nightmares of white and black eyes, and a blinding what light. All he could do was scream.

When Sam woke the next morning he didn't really have the option of staying in bed being surrounded by worried looks from his team's faces so he pushed himself out of bed. He avoided the eyes of his team mates as he walked to the mess hall. He sat down to his breakfast of eggs and bacon. He avoided conversation as people talked around him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention," said Dean and everyone looked up at him. "I'm sure everyone by now has heard of the convoys disappearances. We are looking not it, so don't place blame on anybody till we get more solid proof. We already have a suspect.

"Who?" called a person in the crowd.

"Everyone will be notified once we have concrete proof. For now we gather what supplies we can for a peace offering. We'll be leaving in a few days.

"I would like for four teams to volunteer for the mission. It's still a couple of days away so no need to rush. Give it some thought."

Sam looked at the determined faces of his team and knew they were thinking the same thought.

"B Squad is in," he said standing. Dean didn't look surprised that Sam had signed up first. The team stood with him in agreement.

"I'm in too," said Lucy. Dean wasn't surprised at that either. "Let's face it. You'll need someone to sew you back up."

Sam could see the edge of a smile on Dean's face. Alli stood next to Lucy.

"I'm in," she said.

Dean waited a few more moments and three more teams stood to volunteer. He nodded.

"We'll be heading out in two days. Be ready."

He left. Sam watched Dean leave as the team sat back down to eat. Lucy turned to Alli and spoke in soft tones.

"You didn't have to volunteer, Alli," she said.

"If I didn't who'd watch your back?" she asked smiling at her partner.

"But what would you do? You're hardly a fighter."

"You're not too and you're going."

"I'm a doctor. I have to go. What's your excuse?"

"I'm sure there's a car that needs fixing."

"I'm glad you both are coming," said Sam smiling at his two friends. Lucy and Alli smiled back at him. "Everyone go and pack. Take only what you need. Dean didn't say how long we'll be gone so prepare for anything."

The team nodded and left to pack. Sam was more worried on the Twins pulling their smaller pranks. He made sure they packed only the essentials and al could fit into one large duffle bag. He did catch Carl trying to pack a whoopy cushion and immediately took it out.

As they packed he noticed Stephan dragging behind. He noticed it again as they were packing the food for the teams. A few times he coughed. Sam had noticed it before when he first arrived two months ago and now he realized with Stephan's older physique, Sam should be concerned with his health.

"Stephen, you all right?" he asked.

"Yeah, just an old ailment that creeps up every now and then," he said. "Nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…."Stephen started to say before he started coughing, violently. Sam ran to the other man's side and supported him till Stephen stopped hacking and pulled his hand away. It was covered in blood. Stephen went limp in Sam's arms.

"What happened, Sam!" yelled Alan running to his friend's side. The other ran up as well.

"Is he okay," asked Ethan.

"Get Lucy, and get me something for his head," ordered Sam. Ethan shrugged odd his coat, bundled it up and put it under Stephen's head. Sam used his finger to clean Stephen's mouth of blood and rolled him on the side so he wouldn't choke.

"What happened?" asked Lucy as she ran up. The Twins were behind her with a stretcher.

"He started coughing blood and collapsed," said Sam.

"He's been complaining of headaches all the time," said Ethan. "He said he went to you for painkillers."

"No, he never came to me," said Lucy examining Stephen on the ground. "What kind of headaches? Regular? Stabbing? Pounding? Piercing…."

"Piercing," said Carl. Todd nodded.

"He said behind his right eye," said Ethan.

"A stabbing pain behind his right eye," she said and they nodded. She took out some pills and a canteen. "Steve, I need you to swallow these."

"I'll try," he said. They helped him on his back and he swallowed the pills Lucy gave him with some difficulty.

"Stretcher," she ordered and Todd and Carl put it down next to them. "Put him on. Careful. Careful."

As gently as they could Sam and Ethan had their teammate on the stretcher and Carl and Todd carried Stephen to the Infirmary. Sam, Ethan and Alan followed closely behind. When they reached the cabin all five waited outside as Lucy examined him. An hour later she walked out looking like the Reaper had walked over her grave.

"I couldn't tell much from sight," she said. "I was able to confirm my suspicions when he woke, and it's not good. He's got a brain tumor. Apparently he had it before the Apocalypse. He said the doctor's had taken everything out but apparently not. It came back. With what I have I can't help him. I don't know what to do."

"Can we see him," asked Sam.

"He's barely coherent now, but I don't see the harm."

She opened the door and the team walked in. Stephen was laying on one of the beds, so lonely in the empty room. His skin was pale and his lips a slight blue. He looked different then from the man Sam was talking to over an hour ago.

"He's on painkillers, as much as I can give him," she said. "He should be able to talk."

"Thanks, Lucy," said Sam and walked over to the bed. He gently placed a hand on Stephen's shoulder. "Steve, you with us, buddy?"

"Mark, is that you?" said Stephen. Sam shook his head sadly.

"No, Steve, it's Sam, and Ethan, Alan, Carl and Todd. You're in the camp. Dean Winchester's camp. Remember?"

"Yes, I remember," said Stephen after a moment. "The end of the world."

"Yeah."

"Sorry I never told you guys. I thought I had it beat…"

"Hey, man, it's okay," said Carl.

"Can happen to anybody," said Todd.

"Lost my Amy to the Croats, and Mark…God, Mark."

Each team member placed a hand on a shoulder or hand. Alan was the only one that had put a hand on Stephen's leg. Stephen smiled gratefully at them.

"You don't need to be here," he said. "I'm sure you have other things to do then watch an old man die."

"Never leave a man behind," said Ethan.

"We're in this together," said Alan.

"Together we stand," said Todd.

"Now and forever," said Sam smiling down at him. Stephen smiled back at him. "We have time to kill. Tell us about yourself."

Stephen was all too happy to tell his autobiography to his team mates. Sam, having grown up around older men, understood their need to tell their life stories. They wanted to be remembered by someone, even if they were complete strangers.

He had been born in Minneapolis and married his high school sweetheart after graduating. To support his wife and sons he joined the military and it as there he realized he had a talent for metal etching. He made a small living out of it with his wife, two sons and daughter. His oldest was Mark. His children married and had children of their own and visited every Sunday.

Then the Apocalypse came. It was Amy who turned first on the run to find Mark and his wife and children. Stephen had no choice but to put her down and the same when he found the rest of her family. Only his daughter had survived.

"Where is she now," asked Sam to Lucy. "Should we tell her?"

"She's never far from him," said Lucy touch his cheek. The truth in her eyes made him feel worse.

With a growl of frustration he walked out of the cabin, passing Chuck standing in the doorway, and out of the main camp. For the second time in his life he released his powers in anger, lightening flashed above him following by deafening claps of thunder that shook the ground. The ground exploded around him, throwing hot dirt on his skin. Rain fell heavily as he kept the storm away from the camp.

"Why?" he yelled to the sky. "Why am I here? What good am I if I can't heal one of my friends? His daughter is there watching him die! She's my friend too! They lost the rest of their family. Don't take him away, please! Answer me!"

He stood there screaming at the sky as lightning struck around him, missing him by inches. The earth rumbled under his feet, thunder rolled and debris spun around him in whirlwind. He could hardly hear his own voice. His powers poured out of him, threatening the camp not too far from him but he kept it to the small area he was standing in.

Finally when his voice and powers were exhausted, he collapsed to his knees. The debris dropped to the ground, the skies cleared and the earth quit shaking. He half felt arms grab him as he nearly collapsed onto his back.

"Sam! Sam!" That was Dean's voice.

"He's exhausted himself. Keep him on his back." Lucy….

"The fucking bastard could have killed us!" A voice he didn't know.

"If he wanted to when would have done it in camp." Castiel….

Now there were many voices, demanding for his life, others arguing against. So many voices at once. It was killing his already pounding head. Not even the protective arms that held him drown the voices out.

"Silence," he pushed and the voices stopped. He released the compulsion and slowly opened his eyes to see Dean's shocked handsome face. He looked around at the crowd. Some glared at him, other looks ashamed. "Sorry, but my head's killing me."

"Understandable," said Castiel. "I suggest we get him to the infirmary."

"I'll get a stretcher," said Lucy.

"I got him," said Dean and picked Sam up. Sam was shocked by Dean's actions that he immediately wrapped his arms around Dean's neck. Dean's body immediately warmed his cold skin, making Sam's blush fiercely and he hid his face in Dean's neck to hide it. Dean didn't seem to notice.

Dean carried Sam back to the infirmary and set him on the bed next to Stephen. Alli sat on the bed holding his hand. The older man was sweating and babbling, no longer able to tell the difference between past and present. Lucy quieted him with a soft word and turned to Sam.

"Sleep, Sam," she said with a comforting hand on his shoulder. Dean stayed on the other side of the bed and the team, Ben, Castiel and Chuck around the beds. "We'll be here when you wake."

"I'm sorry, Lucy," he said his guilt returning. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I can't save him. All these powers and I can't save him. I'm so sorry." Tears fell from his eyes. If he hadn't started the Apocalypse then Stephen would be in a hospital now, getting the tumor removed. Lucy would have her family again. It was his fault that Stephen was dying.

"Oh no, Sam," said Lucy. "I'm not mad. Not at you or anyone."

"So sorry," he said before exhaustion took him.

_"Come on, Sam, kill her!" yelled Ruby next to him. In front of him was Lilith snickering. "Do it, now!"_

_ "I can't," he said straining. It took all he had just to get this far._

_ "Yes, you can. You've been training for this. Do it now!"_

_ Sam took a deep breath, flung out his hand and grabbed the tar-like feeling inside the woman Lilith was possessing. He didn't pull like he would for exorcisms. He crushed. It took more energy than an exorcism. That much he knew. More juices. Lilith fought, making Sam strain more. His head throbbed, every muscle strained, and he could feel his nose bleed down his lips and drip down his chin. _

_ Finally, Lilith's screaming stopped. Sam gasped as he started down at the dead body, blood dripping down from her mouth and nose to gather on the floor under her. _

_Ruby laughed. _

_ "You did it," she said in jubilee. "I can't believe it. You did it."_

_ "Thanks for the vote of confidence," said Sam exhausted. _

_ "Do you know what this means?" _

_ "What do you mean?" asked Sam looking at her. Ruby smirked. _

_ "You have no idea what you'd just done," she said walking up to him. _

_ "I stopped Lilith. I stopped the Apocalypse."_

_ Ruby laughed. "Stopped it? You pressed the start button! I am going to be rewarded for this!" _

_ "But you said…"_

_ "Oh, give it a rest, Sammy. I'm a demon. I lied. Lied to let you think I had to sink to your level, just to get you to work with me. Do you know how disgusting it is to act good? The reward I'll receive will be like nothing you've ever imagined."_

_ Sam was furious. Never had he been betrayed in such a way before. Reaching under his shirt he grabbed his bone handle knife. He had brought it as a last ditch effort in case his powers didn't work. Drawing it out he walked toward Ruby but his hand stopped inches from her chest. She laughed. _

_ "You really think you can stick me? You're even more pathetic then I thought."_

_ "You're a bitch."_

_ Ruby smirked at him and leaned forward. "Thank you for the compliment."_

_ Something snapped inside Sam and his hand moved again, plunging the knife in her chest. Ruby gasped as sparks flew around her skin. Sam smiled maliciously. _

_ "I'm stronger then you thought," he said. "Thank you for teaching me all the neat tricks."_

_ He plunged the dagger deeper. Ruby gasped as she died and Sam let her fall to the floor. He looked down at her with distain as the room filled with a blinding white light. _

Sam slowly woke looked up at the rafter of the infirmary. The cabin was dark, night had fallen hours ago. A hand was wrapped around his, strong and callused. Muscular. He could hear someone crying softly. Stephen's voice spoke softly.

"Please, Lucy. You have to do it."

"No, please, don't make me do this," pleaded Lucy.

"I can't take the pain anymore. I'm not getting any better. It's time for me to go home and see mom and the boys."

Lucy cried softly for a few minutes before Sam could hear a soft "Thank you" from Stephen.

"Tell Mark, Shawn and Mom I said hi," she said and wailed, waking the rest of the team around her. Alli was the first at her side and wrapped her in her arms. Lucy wailed in her shoulder as Sam walked over and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Lucy reached for his arm and pulled him into a hug and he hugged the two women. A comforting hand was placed on his shoulder. The team stood close to comfort each other with Lucy in the middle.

**TBC**

-"Amazing Grace". Don't need to explain.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Convoy**

Stephen's funeral was short but largely crowded. The soldier piled sticks, logs and anything else that would burn for the funeral pyre. The women scattered wild flowers on the pyre bed a, making it look like a Viking funeral. It was held at sunset to symbolize the ending of life.

Stephen's body was wrapped in an old sheet, bleached white to hide any stains it might of have had and was carried on a stretcher by Alan and Ben with the team walking behind them. Lucy led them. Alli walked next to her for supporter. The porters set Stephen's body on the pyre, carrying back the stretcher and Lucy lit it with the torch she held. It took several minutes before the pyre blazed and the crowd stayed till the fire burned low and it was nothing but embers. Somewhere, someone sung "Amazing Grace" and the whole crowd sung.

After a while people started back to camp. Soon it was just the team, Ben, Lucy, Alli, Chuck, Castiel and Dean. They silently watched the ember fly in the sky.

"I don't usually know how funerals go," said Sam. "But don't we usually say something about him?"

"Stephen kept to himself," said Alan. "The only one who knew him was Lucy."

There was another long silence.

"He taught me chess," said Bed. The group looks at him. "He said he taught his kids. He wanted to teach me Go and shogi but we only covered the basics."

"I'll teach you," said Lucy and Ben smiled.

"He was the one who managed to make my still," said Alan. "When I told him I worked at a brewery he said I should make a still. People would be needing alcohol. He was right."

"He saved my life," said Todd. "I was caught by a load of Croats and he cleared a path for me. I owe him."

"He always had a story to tell," said Carl. "For everything."

"When I was injured he stayed by my side," said Ethan. "We were in hostile territory and he never left my side."

"He treated me like a second daughter," said Alli. "He was glad that Lucy and I were together. He accepted me and that made him into a second father to me."

Lucy smiled at her partner and laced their fingers together.

"He was a good man," said Dean. "He proved himself."

Castiel and Chuck nodded.

"He came to mass every Sunday," said Castiel. "A good sign."

"He was tone deaf," said Chuck with a laugh. The team laughed too. "But passionate."

"He was the greatest friend anyone could have," said Sam. The team agreed.

"His favorite song was _Lime in the Coconut_," said Lucy. Everyone gave her a look and she laughed. "Silly, I know."

"I haven't heard that one," said Ben.

"Dude, you haven't lived till you've heard _Lime in the Coconut_," said Carl wrapping his arm around Ben's shoulder. "How about it, my friends?"

The other grinned at each other and Todd started off the song. The others joined in one by one.

"_Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime. His sister had another one, she paid it for a lime. __She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up__She put__ the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up She put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor, woke him up,_

"_And said, "Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache? I say, Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?"_

"_"Now let me get this straight ", Put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up Put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up Put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up Put the lime in the coconut, you called your doctor, woke him up,_

"_And say, 'Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take, I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache? I say, Doctor, doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say, Doctor, dooooctor, to relieve this belly ache?'_

"_Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both together, Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better, Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both up, Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning _

"_Wouh wouh wouh wouh wouh _

"_Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime His sister had another one, she paid it for a lime. She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up, She put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor, woke him up, _

"_Say "Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache? I say, Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say Doctor! Let me get this straight". _

"_You put the lime in the coconut, drink them both up, You put the lime in the coconut, drink them both up, You put the lime in the coconut, drink them both up, Put the lime in the coconut, you such a silly woman!, Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both together, Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better. Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both down Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning_

"_Woo Woo, ain't there nothin' you can take, I say Woo Woo, to relieve my belly ache, You say woo woo ain't there nothin' I can take, I say Woo woo, to relieve your belly ache, You say yah yah, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say Waah waah, to relieve this belly ache,_

"_I say doctor! ain't there nothin' I can take, I say doctor!, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say doctor!, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say Doctor!, you such a silly woman!,_

"_Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both together, Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better, Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both up, Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the moooooorning, Yes, you call me in the morning, If you call me in the morning, then__Call me in the morning, call me in the morning, call me in the morning, call me I n the morning, call me in the morning…"_

By the end of the song they were laughing themselves silly but they didn't leave quite yet. Dean walked up to the pyre and held a hand over it.

"There was another song he liked to sing," he said. "When times were rough and things were hard, he sung it and came away happy. It seems appropriate now." He took a deep breath and sung low. _"Carry on, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don't you cry no more."_

The group listened to Dean sing. The song was strangely comforting. Sam wasn't the only one who felt lifted as he listened. All around him he could see the rest of the group has relaxed faces. Not their grief riddled ones that had a minute ago.

When Dean was finished and the embers died they walked back to the camp. Lucy and Alli slept on Stephen's now empty bunk.

XXXXXXX

Stephen's effects were distributed to whoever they were needed the most. His personal effects were given to Lucy who gave some to the team. They were small things, since they had little room and would need to pack quickly in case of an emergency, but greatly appreciated. Lucy kept his more personal things; his wedding ring and his wife's he wore around his neck, and his medallion of St. Christopher. All three rested on a simple chain around his neck.

The next day Ben was assigned to the team and the move was like a jump start to the rest of the team. The group was still mourning but they eagerly helped Ben move in.

Dean had announced the next day that the preparations were ready and that they would be heading for the refugee camp. The look on Dean's face as he looked at team B said it all. No time to grieve. Time to survive. The four volunteer groups loaded into the Humvees and drove out. One in front of the semi and the other behind the ice truck.

Most of the ride was quiet. Team E passed on the time by telling stories but team B kept silent, still in mourning over their friend. The other teams didn't ask anything of the team and jus conversed with themselves. When they had traveled for a whole day the convoy pulled over to camp and team B sat around their fire. They spoke little and each team had their members keep watch every two hours. When they went to bed Sam put a hand on Lucy's arm.

"Lucy, can speak to you, alone?"

Lucy looked over at Alli, who patted her arm and she followed Sam a little ways out of the campsite. The country was safer than the city as the Croats seem to prefer the chaos the city gave but it still had some dangers. Occasionally a Croat would wonder out of the city and wonder the country.

"What is it, Sam?" she asked.

"I know what you did," he said. "When Stephen died. I heard."

Lucy's face paled and she started to shake. "God, Sam, please don't…." Lucy covered her face with her hands.

"I'm not going to blame you." Sam gently took Lucy's wrists and made no move them. "Or to pity you. I won't say I'm one of the few who haven't lost a parent. The only one who holds that is Ben. I lost my parents before this damn thing happened."

"Then what are you saying?" she demanded lowering her hands to look up at him.

"I'm saying if it was me, I would have done the same thing. Compared to what's asked, it was a mercy killing. He was in pain. He was dying. You did the right thing.

"My own father," she said with tears in her eyes and Sam hugged her. "I killed my own father!"

"No, you did. You helped him," said Sam.

Lucy cried again and Sam tried to muffle it in his chest so no one could hear. Alli, standing nearby, walked over defensively but Sam gave her an 'OK" sign. After a quick check that Lucy wasn't hurt she backed off. Lucy cried like the night Stephen died and clung to Sam. Sam held her till Lucy quieted down and they walked back to camp as Lucy talked.

"My dad guessed who I was since I was young," she said. "Said I was too strong and tough to be a girl that would turn cheerleader. I boxed, played football and basketball with my brothers. Mom tried to put me in dresses and make-up and I would put them in the back of the closet." She laughed. "There was only three times I wore a dress, my prom and both of my brothers' weddings. Any other time I wore pants.

"I guess I never thought about being with another girl because of my mom. She was very religious and felt same sex romance was a sin against God. She ingrained it in my head and pushed me into dating men and do other girly things. I think she knew too and was trying to cure me while Dad accepted it.

"I knew I was different when I was thirteen and I became more interested in girls than boys. At sixteen I had a small crush on my best girlfriend, but forced myself to go to prom with the captain of the football team.

"I didn't know it at the time but I was trying to keep my mom happy. A small kind of girlhood phase that stayed to adulthood to make my mother proud of me. It was one of the reasons I was a nurse. To make Mom proud.

"I started dating this doctor after college, Conner, and after a year he proposed. I thought my mom was going to die with joy when she found out. We had the date and everything set but a week before the wedding, shit hit the fan. Fifty Croats were brought in and placed in restraints. A few had bitten attendants and doctors before they could be restrained. No one thought anything of it at the time. People bite all the time to be released and that what we thought it was. A few hours later whoever got bites attack. Conner was one of them. He came at me with a four inch scalpel he kept in his emergency medical bag. At first I thought he was playing till he cut me."

Lucy lifted her left sleeve to show a long wicked scar.

"It was then I knew he wasn't playing. I ran upstairs, grabbed the Peacemaker my Dad gave me for my birthday. Do you know how hard it is to get one of those? " Sam smiled as she went off subject. "He ran after me and entered the bedroom as I finished loading and I fired. Conner hit the ground like a rock and I thanked Dad for the firing lessons.

"My first thought was to my family so I loaded my Ford with my clothes and whatever else I needed. I got to town and found it half in chaos. When got to the gun and ammo store I found it was ransacked. I grabbed what I could and drove off.

"It took me three days to get from Minneapolis to Wichita, a trip that should have been half that. By then the streets were full of Croats and I was forced to abandon my truck and walk on foot. By the time I got to Dad's house it was empty. Clothes were gone, his shot gun and ammo. I thought he went to Mark's and Shawn's but I found them and their wives dead. The kids…" she sobbed. Sam rubbed her shoulder gently. "Johnny and Baby Steve were only two, and they were b-b-_butchered_ in their beds!" she had to force the words out and she sobbed again. Sam waited for her to calm down.

"I left after that. Trying to find other relatives and get to safety. I met Allie along the way, but nothing happened for a year. A group of us went all around trying to find survivors and trying to survive. A few ran off on their own, some died or gone crazy, and some could take it anymore and killed themselves.

"There was always rumors of a man that knew how to fight the Croats and offered refused for the survivors. Alli and I were the last of our group and we followed the clues to camp. Dean welcomed us with open arms."

She smiled softly. "And I found my dad again. We caught up. He told me what happened and we grieved together. He was happy that I was with Alli and we looked after each other."

Sam held her till she felt comfortable enough to go back to camp where should could lie next to Alli. Alli put a protective arm around Lucy and both fell asleep. Sam slept in his bag alone till it was his time for watch.

The five days they drove to the refugee came they took so many twists and turns in the back roads that made Sam dizzy. He guessed it took so long to keep away from Croat populated areas. Whenever they did spot a Croat it was taken care of by a quick sniper shot and they moved on.

Along the trip Lucy stayed near Team B and Alli stayed near Lucy. Lucy stayed near the group or Sam who she felt as a brother after telling her life story. Sam did not mind and Alli and he had talked on their separate relationships with Lucy. Alli needed a lot of convincing before she felt her relationship with Lucy was safe.

When they reached the refugee camp in Lawrence, Kansas at first all Sam saw was a tall cement wall and two tall wired gates. The words WARNING HIGH VOLTAGE was placed on the fence. It reminded Sam more of a fortress then a camp. Nearby was the dead carcass of a Croat.

"You have around twenty men and women holding you at gunpoint. Identify yourselves!"

"You know who it is," yelled Dean. He got out of the car, held his hands up. "Dean Winchester with four teams."

There were a few minutes of silence before the gates opened enough for a pretty brunette to walk through with a rifle tucked under one arm and walked over to Dean. Dean stood his ground, even when she punched him across the face.

"Where the hell have you been, Dean Winchester!" she yelled. Shrieked was more like it. "I've got women and children starving while you're off playing Rambo!"

Dean muttered something Sam couldn't hear.

"What kind of Difficulties?!" she said a bit calmer, but still loudly. Dean muttered again and she shook her head. "You are unbelievable! This had been going on for months and you just figured it out? What kind of leader are you?"

Dean shrugged as Ben ran out of the Humvee.

"Mom!" he yelled. She turned to him with a smile.

"Ben!" she said wrapping her arms around him. She turned to Dean with a slightly softer glare. "You at least did one thing right."

"He did right on his own," said Dean.

She turned and waved through the men at the gate. "Open the gate!"

Dean turned to the convoy. "Bring it in!"

With Dean, Ben and the woman lead the convoy slowly through the gates. Sam took his first look at the refugee camp.

It was a camping ground for camper vehicles. Everywhere there were camper trailers, some big some small. The elderly sat in lawn chairs in front of their campers or around picnic tables playing chess. Young children ran around playing as their mothers and older siblings did chores. Some younger men and women, and some saw many reasons why they were not in Dean's army. A few had to be lead around with blindfolds, one was being wheeled around in a wheelchair, and more than most had lost a limb.

Despite the location it was the most normal thing he had seen.

"Where are we?" he asked.

"A small camping ground outside Lawrence, Kansas," said Lucy. "Two miles and six hundred people. There's a barnful of animals over the hill there."

She pointed to a hill and Sam says a building.

"You fenced around two miles?" he said in surprise.

"Our first thought was of the children and their mothers," said Alli. "Most who survived were part of some sort of law enforcement. They were scared for their families so what we did were pick a small place, grabbed as munch fencing and electrical wires we could and got to work. Two months later, and a few electrical tweaks to a fence charger, we got this." She spread her arms in emphasis.

"This is amazing. I traveled all the east side of the Mississippi and never heard of this."

"Good," said Alli and smiled at him.

The convoy stopped in front of a building that looked like a quickly made mess hall and they unloaded the food into the large freezer, Sam was surprised they had electricity and saw the windmills slowly turning in the wind.

_'Small town, big ideas,'_ he thought.

"Sam?!" Sam turned to see Ben leading his mother toward him. "This is my mom, Lisa. Mom, this is Sam Wesson. We wouldn't have known about the missing convoys if it wasn't for him."

"I got over six hundred people to feed," said Lisa smiling up at him. "You saved a lot of lives."

"I just asked questions any reasonable person would have," he said. "I didn't do anything special."

"Yes, you did," said Lisa smiling. She held out her hand to him. "Thank you, Sam."

"You're welcome," he said shaking it.

"I just wish I knew where all the food was hidden," said Lisa angrily.

"Sorry I couldn't help with that."

"Sam?" Sam turned to see a pretty blonde walk toward him in happy shock. "Sam Wesson, is that you?"

"Becca?" said Sam in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that," said Becca. "Why haven't you called?"

"I was busy," said Sam guiltily.

"For twelve years?" asked Becca in anger.

"Very busy?"

Becca sighed and smiled. "Whatever the reason, I'm just glad to see you."

Sam smiled back. "You too, Becca."

"Looks like you don't need introductions," said Lisa smiling.

"Oh, Sam and I go way back," said Becca. She grabbed Sam's arm. 'If you're done with him, Lisa, I'd like to show him around."

"I can't think of anything better," said Lisa. Becca smiled and lead Sam off. Sam didn't mind and followed his friend.

"Welcome to Haven!" she said with a laugh.

She showed Sam around the camp. It was built like a small town. Places had been cleared for modestly built buildings for a theater or storage and a playground was made were a group of kids played under the watchful eyes of all the adults. She showed him into the conference building where she also showed him a trap door that leads to a tunnel for an escape route in case of invasion.

"Luckily, we haven't needed to use it yet," she said.

"Becca, this is amazing," he said as he watched a group of kids play soccer. There didn't seem to be a distinctive team and the kids just kicked the ball into a goal.

"It is, isn't it? We work hard to not only keep it safe but also as normal as possible. Sometimes we forget what's going on outside the fence."

"I'm sorry," he said feeling the need to apologize to the last person from his past. She patted his arm.

"Wasn't your fault," she said. Sam didn't have the heart to tell her the truth that it was. "I'll take you to the camp hall."

Sam followed her. Since fuel was precious they had to walk and Sam got a lot of exercise. He did notice some were riding bicycles and wished he had on to ease his aching feet. Becca let him rest once halfway there.

"Sorry about the walk," she said. "I would have grabbed bikes but I guess I was too excited to see you."

Sam laughed pleasantly. "No, I like it. It's a great place. You're right, it does feel normal." He paused to feel the breeze on his face, and for a moment he forgot. "Those windmills. They're for electricity right?"

"Yes. It took us a year to set those up. One of the refugees had run a windmill farm. He helped with disassembling the mills and transporting them here. He said it wasn't being used there anymore so we should put a few here. We only have three but it works for use, and we mostly use it to keep the food cold. He's still there now. Watching the wind blow."

Sam took a moment to look back at the playground. The kids played with abandon, forgetting the evil outside the fence.

"So what happened to you after…?"

"The shapeshifter thing?" she asked and laughed. "I kept my sanity. Got into law, of course. I actually got a few Hunters out of jail. Your uncle Bobby was a great help. Got married and had a son. Named him Sammy." She smiled at him and Sam laughed.

"Oh, geez," he said after a moment, and then paused. "And after…"

"My husband became a Croat. I had to kill him. She looked down sadly and Sam wrapped his arm around her. "I hate you sometimes. More than anything I want my normal life back."

"Normal is just a point of view," said Sam. "To me, normal is hunting these things. You're to have a family, become a lawyer and live a happy life."

"If it wasn't for you, Sammy and I wouldn't be alive today," she said leaning against his shoulder. "Thanks for that."

"You're welcome, I think," he said with a chuckle.

Becca chuckled. "Come on, I'll take you to the mess hall. I want you to meet some friends."

Sam laughed and they walked back down the path talking and laughing over college stories. They walked to a large building and fond he convoy crew around the picnic tables set up inside eating a heart supper.

"First barbeque in a long time," said Becca. "We only have them on special days. Meat's precious and none are wasted."

"Let me introduce you to the team," said Sam and lead Becca to his squad. They greeted Sam's old friend warmly and immediately turned into one of the team. Lucy and Alli were glad to have another woman in the group and Lucy asked about Sammy. Becca seemed particularly interested in Alan and Sam was happy for that.

After a while Sam felt eyes on him and turned to see Dean watching Becca. Sam couldn't tell what the look was for and it sent a shiver down his spine.

"Sam, are you okay?" asked Becca.

"Yeah," he said and smiled at her. Becca smiled back at him and turned back to Alan.

That night they went to their assigned tents and Sam as surprised to find himself rooming with Dean again.

_'The Fates are laughing at me,'_ he thought. "How's Lisa?" he asked aloud.

Dean gave him a look and Sam cursed under his breathe. Dean didn't want anyone to know Ben was his son and Sam almost let it known that he knew.

"Fine. She's talking to Ben now and asking how he'd been. If she doesn't get a satisfied result, she'd chew me a new one."

Sam laughed. "Ben's mom sounds like a great lady. What about his dad?" He looked at Dean questioningly.

Dean shrugged. "Don't know. Lisa never said. I never asked." Sam nodded and got his bed ready. "I wasn't the only one who met someone he knew."

"You mean Becca? Yeah, I met her a long time ago."

"How long ago?" for some reason the suspicious look on Dean's face made Sam chuckle.

"Before I met you," said Sam with a smirk. "Why? Want to meet her?"

"I'm perfectly happy where I am," said Dean.

"I can see that," said Sam. "Why are you suspicious of her?"

"I am not!"

"Are too."

What are we? Five?"

Sam shrugged. "Fine, don't answer me." Grabbing his bag he walked out of the tent toward the bathrooms and showers.

"Bitch," came Dean's voice. Angrily Sam turned to yell but saw the tease in Dean's face. He smiled back.

"Jerk," he said and walked away.

**TBC**

-"Convoy" is a song by CW McCall

-"Haven" is the name of a SyFy TV series


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Saving Me**

The next morning Sam woke to the feeling of someone holding him and knew it had to be Dean, the only other person in the tent. He decided against waking Dean up to tease him and slowly got out of the tent without waking the camp leader. It happened each morning during the week and Sam found it oddly comforting to wake up to someone holding him but didn't speak a word to Dean about it. He didn't want to disgust the leader by bursting whatever dream he had been having the night before.

Through the week the convoy spent in Haven all the teams visited families and relaxed. Sam spent time with Becca and her son Sammy, who found it funny that they shared the same name. Sam even baby-sat while Becca went on a date with Alan. He kept Sammy overnight at the tent and he and the team entertained the six year old to exhaustion. The next morning Alan and Becca came back with smiling faces.

At the end of the week the convoy was stocked with dairy, eggs vegetables products for the return trip. Lisa even added a dozen gallons of fruit juice, including orange, apple, cherry, strawberry and cranberry. It was loading in with smiling faces. Dean had to rein his crew more than ever to keep them from drinking the juice before getting it to camp.

On the day they were leaving there was a breakfast good-bye for the convoy crew and their families. Lisa was trying to convince Ben to stay behind and Ben was refusing. Dean was overseeing everything.

"You got room for one more?"

"Becca!" said Sam turning around to see his friend. "But what about Sammy? Who'll watch him?"

"The other moms are more than happy to watch him. A change of scenery will do me good for a while. And I can handle a gun."

Sam smiled at her. It would be nice to have someone he actually knew around. Dean hardly counted. He barely knew him.

"I take it it's for more than a change of scenery. You want to become a tunnel rat now?"

Becca giggled at the term for a person that lived in who lived in subway tunnels. Croats were scared of underground places and scarcely went down. Sam had met a few of them and pleasant was far from the experience.

"No, just doing my time in saving the world," she said with a glance at Alan. This time Sam chuckled.

"Sure, that it," he said.

Becca punched his arm. "Why you…."

They both laughed.

"Better go check in with Dean," said Sam. "He'll find a place for you, though I think it's hitching detail."

"That I actually wouldn't mind," she said with a laugh and went to talk to Dean. Sam turned to find Lisa walked toward him and Sam smiled at her.

"Come to say good-bye?" he asked.

"Yes, and to say thank you," she said. "I can't understand why but he admires you, next to Dean. It's good for him to admire more than one person."

"Thanks, I think," said Sam. Lisa laughed.

"You and he are good together," she said.

"Me and who?"

"You and Dean." Sam blushed red and Lisa gasped. "I'm sorry. I thought you two were…"

"Oh, no, no, I mean, not that he isn't handsome, because he is but no…."

"I'm so sorry, Sam. I just, by the way Dean acted, I just thought…"

"Acted when?" asked Sam.

"When you were around Becca. He acts all jealous."

Sam laughed. "Jealous? Of me? Why would Dean be jealous of me?"

"I don't think he was jealous of you."

This made Sam confused. "Then what?"

Lisa smiled at him and shrugged. "Don't know. Dean always was a ladies man. Maybe it's because he has competition."

She walked away. Sam looked to Dean saw him talking to the leader of the hitching detail, arranging Becca with them. Dean looked at him and something passed through. Sam couldn't tell what I had been but it made Sam shiver. Luckily he was quickly distracted by Alan walking up to him with a smile.

"Becca's coming with us, isn't that great?" said Alan smiling.

"Yeah, great," said Sam smiling. "Did she say anything to you?"

"No, which is even more surprising. I am glad through. I really like her."

"I can tell."

"So you don't mind…"

Sam held up his hands in surrender. "I have no say in whom Becca dates. We always have been friends."

Alan smiled in relief. "Thanks, Sam. You're the closest person to family she has so I thought…"

"I don't mind. Seriously, go for it. But if you hurt her…"

"Got it. Don't mess with the friend of the man who can blow my head off. Message received."

Sam laughed as Alan ran over to join Becca. After another few minutes Dean let out a shrill whistle.

"All right! Let's move out!"

Families gave one last good-bye and the convoy moved out.

Time passed slowly for the group, no matter how any of them tried to pass it. The night they left the team gathered for a poker game and they used rocks for chips.

"Four eights," said Alan. "Beat that."

"Full house," said Sam showing his hand. All exclaim in annoyance. Sam smiled at Alan. "Again?"

"You cleaned me out. I know when to quit." He got up to sit near the fire and pulled out his harmonica. He sat back and played as Sam shuffled the cards.

"Where did you learn to play?" asked Carl.

"My dad. We didn't get a lot of money so my dad was forced to go to poker games. He wasn't a gambler and I'm not either. He was just trying to make ends meet."

"He sounds like quite a dad," said Todd.

"Yeah, he was," said Sam and they played. Out of six games Sam won five. When he was dealing for a seventh game Dean walked up.

"Deal me in," he said. Sam looked up at him in surprise. Dean gave him a challenging look so Sam dealt him in. the game was the toughest Sam had ever played. Dean had the straightest poker face Sam had ever seen. After an hour of leap frogging with their poker stones Dean put down six stones.

"Call," he said. "Three aces."

Sam looked down at his cards and back at Dean. Folding his card he set them down.

"You beat me," he said. "I was never beaten like that before."

"Should I take that as a compliment?" asked Dean.

"Take it any way you want."

"Sure you weren't cheating before?" Sam glared at him, daring him to repeat what he said. Dean shrugged. "Just asking."

"It's insulting," said Sam putting his cards back on the deck. "Todd, I'm out."

"Are you sure, Sam?" asked Todd. "You were on a roll."

"I'm sure." He stood and left. He didn't get far. He could still hear Alan play "Sweet Home, Alabama." He stopped and looking in the night.

Dean Winchester was so infuriating! At first he seemed to be a friend, then turns around and suspects Sam of something and out like a friend again. He had Sam going around in circles that made Sam's head spin.

Dean was a narcissistic masochist wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a mystery. And yet Sam felt like he knew Dean better then himself.

"Sam!" Sam turned to find Becca waving for him. "Dinner!"

"Coming!" he called back and joined the others to eat. He glanced over at Dean and saw the other man watching him with interest. Sam walked on.

XXXXXXX

The time passed slowly and everyone was glad to see the outskirt of the city. They went around to avoid the hordes of Croats and everyone kept an eye out. They hoped that they could pass through without getting noticed.

"You feel anything," asked Dean. Sam was sitting next to him with B squad in the back.

"I always feel something," said Sam. "I feel the rabbit fifty meters in front of us. The badger and her kits in the trees. The predators prowling the city, the deer in the city and every single Croat in there, so yeah, I feel something."

"Sorry, Sammy, what I meant was do you feel…anything?"

"Nothing that threatens us."

Sam closed his eyes and reached out. He couldn't see the hare, but he could feel it. He saw it eating grass, keeping an eye out for predators, but it didn't see the mother fox creeping behind it and snapped it up to take back to her kits to teach them to hunt. Sam drew back before he felt the hare die. Feeling something else die felt like dying himself.

"What's up, Sammy?" asked Dean's startling Sam. Sam turned to see Dean's eyes on the road but his face concerned.

"Nothing," said Sam. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"How short life is."

"Morbid thinking," said Dean. "How about a happy one? Like glad we're alive? How about that?"

"You can if you want," said Sam. "I'll think of other things."

"Are you always like this? Should I put on some Evanescence songs to darken the mood?"

Sam laughed. "How do you know Evanescence?"

"There's a lot about me you don't know." Dean gave him a meticulous smile that was meant to be humorous. It was. Sam laughed.

"I look forward to finding out…" he started and stopped. A sudden feeling crept in him, one he felt many times before. "Shit!"

"What? What?"

"Stop the car! They're here. Stop the car!"

Dean didn't have to be told twice. He stomped on the brakes so hard the Humvee slid five feet. He pulled off road and grabbed the CB radio.

"H2, this is H1. You read?"

"H1, this is H2. I read you. What's going on, Dean?"

"We've got some uninvited guests. Squad B and I are going to show them the door. You and others get back to camp through the back roads. You copy, H2?"

"Got it, H1. We copy."

"H3, you copy that?"

"Roger, H1. We copy. Kick some ass for us."

"Will do."

Dean replaced the speaker and they watched as the rest of the convoy drove past them. Across the street they saw a crowd of Croats heading toward them. Dean put the Humvee in Neutral.

"Everybody hang on!" he yelled and floored the gas. Sam only had time to brace himself before the vehicle raced toward the mob and plowed into it like a bulldozer. Bodies flew off the car as the occupants attempted to hang on for dear life.

"Strike!" yelled the twins.

"Want to try a turkey?" asked Carl.

"I want to try finding my stomach," said Becca holding her said body part.

"Agreed," said Ethan.

"We'll discuss sports terms later," said Dean pointing down the road to the coming mob.

"Agreed," said Sam flinging his hand out. Ten Croats flew and landed ten feet from then. Dean got out and Sam was behind.

"How did that happen?!" yelled Becca.

"Talk later!" yelled Todd and they got out. Each team member was firing left and right to reduce the crowd enough to get away safely. Sam had his gun and his powers to bring down the crazies. He threw them, shocked them with lightening, and blew them up, anything he could think of, and they still kept coming. Sam didn't like using his powers to such an extent but he saw no other choice to keep his friends safe.

For a terrifying moment he realized the crazy's had come because of him. They had sense him within the city limits and went to him. He had put his friends in danger. Again!

He heard a scream and turned to Becca. A Croat snuck behind her and tackled her to the ground. None of the others could get to her. He watched her grab a bottle and slice across the crazy's cheek. The Croat screamed and let go. Sam threw him off and ran to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked. She nodded.

"I think so," she said.

"There's too many of them!" yelled Alan firing at another Croat.

"Everyone in the car!" yelled Sam. "I'll clear a path!"

Dean looked over at Sam for a moment and Sam gave him a determined look. He was going to do this. The crazies were here because of him and he was going to get them out of there.

Dean gave a nod.

"Everybody, move it!" he yelled.

They climbed into the Humvee and plowed through the last of the Croats. Sam used his powers to throw any aside that got in their way. By the time they cleared the mob e was covered in a sheen of sweat and was nauseous.

"Ah, get it off!" yelled Becca rubbing the dirt off her. "Get it off! Get it off!"

"Becca," said Sam reaching for her. "Becca, you're okay. There's nothing on you."

"The blood…."

"I don't see any blood on you. You're fine."

"You sure?" asked Becca pleadingly.

"Yes," he said. Becca nodded as she leaned against Alan. Sam moved back up with Dean who gave him a solemn look.

"Is she okay," he asked in a low voice.

"As far I can see," said Sam.

"Still a couple of hours till camp. We'll know by then."

Sam nodded curtly, not needing to ask. The number one rule all Apocalypse survivors know was to never let a Croatoan touch you. The result would be either alive or dead.

Through the drive Sam kept an eye on Becca. She was shaking against Alan but that wasn't unusual. After an hour she started scratching at her arms and her eyes darted around the vehicle. By the time they reached camp she was fidgeting.

"Everybody out," said Dean dryly, glancing at Becca. Everybody got out as Dean pulled out his gun and leveled it at Becca's head.

"Whoa! Whoa, Dean," yelled Sam standing between him and Becca. Alan stood next to him. "What are you doing?!"

"She's infected, Sam. You know what that means."

"You don't know that for sure," yelled Alan.

"I've seen it countless times. She'll turn soon. Better to do it now while she's human than a monster."

"No, Dean…."

"He's right, I am," she said. They turned her. "I can feel it, creeping in the back of my mind. Kill me now."

"Becca…"

"I'm sorry I never got to know you better, Alan," she said looking at Alana sadly. She turned and smiled at Sam. "And I'm glad to see you again, Sam. Take care of my baby."

"We will," said Sam nodding in understanding. Inside his heart was breaking. Becca was his last living friend. To watch her die tore a piece of his soul.

"No!" yelled Alan. "No, Dean, don't do this! Sam, stop him!"

"I can't, Alan," he said. "I can feel it in her too now. She'll turn any minute now. Better to do it now."

"No!" yelled Alan and took out his gun, leveling it at Dean. It suddenly flew out of his hands and into Sam's. "Sam!"

Sam ignored him and went to stand in front of Becca. Taking her head in his hand he gently kissed her forehead before stepping away.

"See you later," he said. Sam hated good-byes. He never said it to anyone, even his father when he lay dying on the floor.

Becca smiled at him.

"See you later," she said, taking his hand. She took Alan's too and faced Dean. Dean aimed his gun at Becca again. The look on his face was truly apologetic.

"I'm sorry," he said and fired. Becca's head whipped back from the force of the bullet as it entered her skull. She would have fallen if Sam and Alan hadn't caught her. Becca's head rolled against Sam's chest and rested there as if asleep.

Alan kept straight faced as he mourned for the woman he cared for and Sam wept for the last remnant of his past. Around them people watched as the two mourned for her.

Sam felt a hand on his shoulder with a comforting squeeze. He didn't have to look to know it was Dean. He put his hand on top of Dean's.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"I know."

Another funeral was held that day and a messenger was sent to Haven. The funeral was small with only Squad B, Ben, Lucy, Alli and Dean in attendance. Sam was the one who light the pyre, having known Becca the longest. He stood in front of the pyre not even crying but there was no doubt he was mourning. Behind him Lucy was crying softly and Allie was comforting her. Ethan was standing next to Alan comfortingly.

Sam was still standing when his friends left at the end. He heard Dean walk up behind him.

"I'm so useless," he said. "I have all this power and I can't even save the people I care about."

"Demons don't care. Their powers are to kill and torture, not heal."

"They heal the sick all the time, and yet I can't. Why?!"

"Because they are cruel creatures. The only ones who know why they do what they do are themselves."

"Everyone I love, gone. What do I do now?"

"Stay. Your team needs a leader."

"The crazies will come after me someday. Are you willing to risk your camp? Your people?"

"I'll deal with it. Won't be the first time they tried to invade this camp."

Sam didn't speak right away, still looking at the embers of the fires. Dean made Sam face him.

"Listen, Sam, I now she was your friend but you have to stop beating yourself up about it. She knew what she was getting into when she decided to come. She didn't plead for her life when she got infected. She knew she wouldn't make it so she decided to die with dignity while she was still human. She will be remembered for that."

"Yeah," said Sam sadly. Dean smiled up at his comfortingly, actually smiled, and gently kissed Sam's forehead. Sam gaped and looked down at him in shock. "Dean…."

"Let's get you to bed. Your team can sleep in if they want."

Sam could only nod and allow Dean to lead him to B cabin.

**TBC**

-"Saving Me" is a song by Nickleback


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Tourniquet**

Losing two people in a week had taken a toll on Squad B. They walked around the camp in a solemn mood, even the twins who were usually the ones who would try to uplift the mood. The only reason they got anything done was because Sam kept them on their feet, and they only reason Sam was on his feat was Castiel who was running as the team's supervisor.

"With so many deaths for your team in such a short time it's best to make sure they're getting along," he said. "Lucy set up a grief counselor. You can go to her anytime."

"Thanks, Cas," said Sam. "I'll tell the team but I can't force them to go. They hardly knew Becca."

"But you did, and if a leader is weak emotionally then the whole team is compromised. Don't hold back to be strong. It'll only hold you back."

Sam paused in thought as he looked at Castiel's serious angelic face. He knew Castiel was serious about death being emotionally compromising. If that happened he would have no choice but to put Ethan in charge, something his second-in-command never wanted.

"Thanks, Cas, I'll keep that in mind.

Castile nodded and left to let Sam train with the team, but mostly in training Ben. The boy was green but good. The first day Sam put Ben through the same audition Sarge did, without the criticism, and by the end of the day Ben was exhausted but still rearing to go.

"Why do you fight?" asked Sam as Ben caught his breathe after the five mile run and led him to the shooting range.

"I fight for the human race," said Ben.

"Are you willing to die for the human race?"

"Yes!"

"Don't!" Ben jumped from the force of Sam's tone and looked up at his team leader in shock. "You won't do the human race any good dead. You must be will to kill, to murder, for the human race, because our enemy was once human. You will meet friends that have turned and you _must not hesitate_! Hesitation will get you and your men killed. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir!" said Ben frightened.

Nodding Sam walked over to a covered dummy that was used for target practices and pulled the cover off. Been stared at it even more frightened. Taped to the dummy's head was a picture of Lisa.

"Sam…"

"What do you see, Ben?" asked Sam.

"My mom," he said softly.

"No. You see a nobody. A _faceless_ nobody. Aim your gun." Ben did with shaking hands. "Blank your mind. You don't see your mother. You don't see anybody. What do you see?"

"A faceless nobody."

"Say it again."

"A faceless nobody!"

"Again!"

_ "A faceless nobody!"_

"Fire!"

Ben did, hitting the dummy three times in the chest. He lowered his gun shaking.

"Very good," he said. He turned to Ben. "Remember that every time you draw your gun. Be it your mother, friend or teammate, as soon as they turn they have a blank face."

"Yes, sir," said Ben still shaking. Sam gave his shoulder an encouraging pat.

"Go to Alan. Get a drink. Calm down."

Ben nodded and went to Alan's still. Sam watched him leave before putting the gun back to weapons shed. As he was putting it away the door opened and Ethan walked in.

"I saw you training Ben," he said. "It was interesting."

"It's how my father trained me," said Sam. "And how his instructor trained him. It works."

"I was talking about his mother's picture."

Sam set the gun down and looked at his second.

"It's a possibility."

"Yes, it is. As well as you."

Sam scoffed. "No chance of that." Ethan looked curious. "You know what I am. I'm immune to the crazy virus, and try as I might I can't pass it on."

"Why is that?"

"Sam shrugged. "Hell if I know." He locks the gun away on the shelf. "I didn't tell anyone so people wouldn't have false hope. Truthfully, I think it'll take a miracle for humanity to survive this."

"Then pray for a miracle."

Ethan left. Sam didn't need to as for an explanation. Ethan, like most of the survivors, stopped praying a long time ago. Sam, who wasn't much of a prayer, did hope for a miracle. Walking out he went to the showers, needing a shower to think.

He had felt a lot like Ben had when he first learned to shoot. His father had drilled it into him that the targets weren't human and it was easy when they were strangers. But since Ruby had found how true his words were. Anyone could be an enemy.

He heard the door opened and turned to find three men walk in. well, that cut into his thinking time. He couldn't think while he had company. It distracted him.

He immediately knew he was being surrounded. He turned around to see the three that had entered blocked his exit from the stall. All three were still dressed and had a look that said they meant business.

"Can I help you?" he asked trying not to be shy about his nudity, he could not show weakness in a potential fight.

"We don't like you staying here," said one. Sam turned to him and gave him a challenging look.

"And why is that?"

"Because since you came, dean hasn't had his head in the game," said the leader poking Sam in the chest. Sam kept his face stoic to not show how annoyed he was. "The only person he backs up is you, and that annoys me."

Sam smirks. "You his fan club?"

The three paled and Sam forced himself not to laugh at their faces.

"We just want out leader to think with a clear head' said another. "And without you."

"Why would you say that?" asked Sam.

"We heard rumors," said the leader. "That you had special talents, and not the physical kind."

Sam's face betrayed him. How did they find out his secret? His friends would never tell anyone, that he knew without a doubt.

The leader's fist connected with his nose and Sam fell back, crying out in pain when his back hit a faucet. He heard something crack in his chest and a sharp pain. The three didn't pause, kicking and hit him and he curled on the floor to protect himself from the blows.

"Stop!" he yelled as soon as he got air in his lungs and pushed at the three. They stopped. Sam gasped for breath as he felt blood run down his rose. From the feel of it he knew it was broken. "You will walk away and forget this happened. You will forget any rumors you have heard. Now go!"

The three left and Sam passed out.

XXXXXXX

When Sam came to he heard voices arguing and it was giving him a headache. He kept his eyes closed to listen.

"What the hell was he doing there alone?!" said Dean angrily.

"It helps him think," said Ethan.

"I thought the attacks stopped," said Lucy.

"Well, apparently not!" said Dean.

"Did you see anyone leave?" asked Lucy.

"Yeah, these three guys," said Ethan. "I asked them what was wrong but they looked like they were in a trance."

"Sam pushed them?" asked Dean.

"Seems so," said Ethan.

"Sam only does that when he has no choice."

"Want me to call Cas's people to talk to them?"

"Yeah, take them to main cabin and have them wait there."

"I would like to take them by their heads and…."

"Down, girl."

"I'll castrate them!"

"I'll, uh, go talk to Cas about that team," said Ethan and Sam heard the door closed.

"That would scare any man," said Dean.

"I will. I mean it. I will."

"I believe you. Why don't you go out and get some fresh air? Talk to Alli. I'll watch Sam."

Sam heard a shuffling before Dean closed the door after obviously pushing Lucy out. Sam opened his eyes slowly.

"Lucy's one scary girl," he said.

"That she is," said Dean sitting on the bed across from Sam's and crossed his arms. "You have yourself your own bodyguard. Or guards. Your team's demanding blood."

"I bet they are." Sam winced. "When am I going to stop betting ganged up on?"

"Not for a while I think."

"Then maybe I better leave…"

"Sam, don't…"

"Dean, I'm not wanted here!" Sam turned to him with a sad look. "When are you going to see that? It doesn't matter if my team, Lucy, Alli or you do. More people here don't want me then do. I can't stay here if it means causing a riot."

Dean leaned forward to look him in the eye. "I'll handle my men. You just concentrate on keeping your ass in one piece."

Sam sighed and turned away from him. He knows he's not going to win this argument the old fashion way.

"Rumors are going around about me. I need to know who started it."

"I'll get Cas on it," said Dean.

Sam nodded. "Thanks."

"Yeah," said Dean, as close to a "You're welcome" as Sam's going to get.

"What happens to them now?" he asked.

"Up to you."

Sam turned to him in surprise. "What?"

"We only banish the ones who murder or attempt to murder. For crawls there are a different set of rules."

"Like what?"

"You can challenge them for a fight under the watch of your betters, or leave the punishment to us."

"Anything else?"

"Or they serve time in the sweat box."

Sam shivered remembering the sweat box. One hour had felt like a day in there. It wasn't an experience he wanted to repeat.

"I made them forget about what they did and that hey hurt me," he said.

Dean looked at him angrily.

"Why?  
>"Because I don't want to hurt anyone, Dean," he said glaring at him. "You may be all gung-ho about all this, but I'm not. I'm just trying to survive and not get every human killed doing it."<p>

"It could happen again…."

"And I'll make them forget again. There are too few humans to be killing one another." Sam knew Dean caught Sam excluding himself from the human category. Sam had accepted he wasn't human a long time ago. Dean walked over and leaned over Sam's bed, looking at him straight in the eye.

"So, you think yourself not human? Is that is?" he asked.

"Of course, I'm not human, Dean. Do you know another person that can do what I do?"

"If there's one thing I've learned over the years is that people are who they think they are. I've met humans who are monsters and monsters who try to be as human as possible. Humanity is a state of perception. It's not what you are. It's who you think you are."

Sam stopped for a moment in thought. Dean wanted him to think himself human?

Dean stood and crossed his arms.

"You don't make the rules around here, Sammy. I do. And the rules are that if there was an assault, you report it. Not keep it or cover it up. I want you to make them remember what happened. They should be out of your trance by now."

"That about right. Trance never lasts very long. I tell them to do something and they don't remember what it is afterward."

"Have you tried it with me?" asked Dean warily.

"No, and before this it was Sarge and the Croats, but that was because I had to. I don't want to hurt anybody."

Dean thought for a moment. "Maybe you can use it to find the leaks in the camp."

"You want me to use it to investigate?" said Sam in shock. Dean said nothing. "Why?"

"Like you said, we have a leak. We have to find it. With your talents we could find it fast."

"I don't use my abilities for stuff like that."

"Cas's spies can look for weeks and still not find anything. With you, we can find leaks faster with minimal casualties."

Sam took a moment to think. It did seem to make sense but it still felt wrong to use his powers that way. He hated using his powers on other people especially his push that he learned from another special person like himself. He had seen the abuse it has and did not want to use it at all but at times he did to stay alive and keep his secret.

"Bring them in," he said.

Dean nodded and left. Sam could feel Dean's anger to the three that attacked him. Empathy, one of the few abilities he couldn't turn off. Dean walked in with the three attackers. As soon as the three walked in Sam pushed them.

"Why did you attack me," he asked.

"We were told you were manipulating Winchester," said the leader. "We were told that if you weren't stopped you'd destroy us."

"Who told you?"

"He had wings in his eyes," said the second.

"Castiel," said Dean. Sam looked at him. "That was how Castiel was like when I first met him. Wings in his eyes."

Sam nodded and turned back to the three.

"Did he give you a name?"

"No," said the third.

"You three just walked through the door to talk," he said. "Understood."

"Yes," said the three and Sam snapped them out of the trance. They look disoriented at first before turning to Sam.

"Dean told me the rules," he said. "And I'm sorry that you have a problem with me. I'd rather it be a fair fight then a gang-up. In these times we're supposed to help each other, not fight."

"I'll take the challenge," said the leader glaring at Sam. "I'll whoop your ass any day!"

Sam saw a tic on Dean's cheek and briefly wondered why. He could feel the irritation from him and again could not understand why Dean would be irritated about the men beating him.

He turned back to the three.

"Good," he said. "Then I'll see you in the ring tomorrow at midday."

"Just be there," said the leader and Sam smirked.

"Oh, I will."

The three left without another word. Dean let them out and turned back to Sam.

"Are you ignorant or just plain stupid," he asked.

"What do you mean?" asked Sam.

"You're injured. They'll slaughter you."

"Injured or not, I can still kick their asses."

"Lucy sad you had cracked ribs again. They're still not fully healed from last time. You're lucky you didn't puncture a lung. Next you could die."

"Then I'll make sure not to."

"This isn't a joke, Sam!" said Dean angrily. Sam could feel the hurt, anger and something else coming from Dean that he couldn't name.

"My father used to say, if I can either smile or co crazy, I'd rather smile."

"Sam, you can't fight."

"Why not?" Sam looked at the man irritated. Never had he been told to stay out of a fight. "I'm one of the few original Hunters left. I was trained to fight even after a Wendigo took a bite out of me and beat me to a pulp. I'm fast, even injured. Now tell me, Dean. Why can't I fight?"

"I…I don't want you to,: said Dean softly surprising Sam.

"What?"

"You keep getting hurt, and you don't want me to do anything about it. And I hate seeing the people I care about get hurt."

Sam was surprised by Dean's declaration. The look on Dean's face told Sam it was hard for Dean to say them. Since the death of his father, Sam never stayed long in one place for them to care about him. The only one he allowed close was Bobby Singer before he died. After that he was completely alone.

"Thanks, Dean," he said. "Really, thanks. But I have to do this myself. Otherwise they'll keep coming. You trained them to be soldiers, so I'll beat them as a soldier."

Dean wasn't happy about Sam's decision. In emphasis he left in a huff. Lucy walked in a second later in surprise.

"What up with Dean?" she asked. "I haven't seen him like this since the twins dumped a bucket of slime on him on April Fool's day."

"He doesn't want me to fight my assailants," said Sam.

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't want me to get hurt."

Lucy looked shocked and Sam understood why. Dean portrayed himself as a tough and strict leader. To openly say he cared about someone would be considered a sign of weakness.

"He's never said that to Cas or Chuck," she said. "Why would he say that to you?"

"I don't know."

"Dean is right, through," she said. "They hit you just right you're a dead man walking."

"Then I'll make sure they don't," said Sam settling back to rest. Lucy huffed a laugh.

"You really do joke about it," she said.

"Better to reign in hell then rule in heaven."

She crossed her arms. "Anything else?"

Comically, Sam pumped his fist in the air. "Rage, rage against the dying of the light!"

Lucy laughed. "Well, Sam the poet, if you want to win the fight I suggest you rest."

She turned off the light and left him to rest. Sam laid back to sleep.

_"Sam, please," she pleaded. "I can't live like this anymore."_

_ "But I can't, Madison," he said. "Don't ask this of me."_

_ "I'm a monster." Tears fell from her eyes as she pleaded with him. "This is what you do."_

_ "But you're not a monster. You didn't ask for this…"_

_ "You said it yourself. I can't control what I do when I change. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. Please release me from this hell." _

_ Sam's breath hitched as he forced himself not to cry as he pulled out his gun. He checked to see if a bullet was in the slid before hugging Madison close. _

_ "I'm sorry," he said and pulled the trigger. Madison jerked with a gasp from the force of the bullet piercing her heart and Sam lowered her to the floor, holding her close. Madison died quickly with a peaceful look on her face. Sam held her for a long time, unwilling to move, but knew he had to. Laying her on the floor he quickly left. _

_ The dream shifted to him on the highway. He was driving his Charger lazily. He had no jobs waiting and was driving to Bobby's for a visit. He hadn't sent the older Hunter in a while and wanted to check up on the old man. _

_ His phone rang and he checked the ID before answering._

"_Hey, Bobby, I was just on my way to see you," he said._

_ "I don't think that's a good idea, Sam," said Bobby and Sam heard a growling on the other end of the line._

_ "Bobby, what's that?"_

_ "I've, uh, got some company. Not a good time for company right now."_

_ Sam accelerated. "I'm on my way."_

_ "No, Sam, don't come here."_

_ "Why?" Sam asked shocked. "You're in trouble. You're in a wheelchair! You can't get far without help."_

_ "Sam, whatever you do, don't come here. It's a trap!"_

_ "I don't care! I won't let you die!"_

_ "We all have to make sacrifices, Sam. It's not easy but sometimes it's something we have to do." _

_ "Bobby…"_

_ "There are only two people I love as my own and you're one of them. Take care of yourself, boy."_

_ The line went dead. Sam stared at it in shock._

_ "Bobby? Bobby?!'_

_ He redialed but Bobby didn't answer. The second time the line was out of service. _

_ Sam accelerated. It didn't take him long to get to Bobby's and he skidded to a stop in front of the house and ran in without turning off the car. There were bodies everywhere and Sam immediately knew they were Croatoans._

_ "Bobby!" he yelled and ran into the house. He found Bobby in his wheelchair surrounded by bodies and sliced everywhere. Sam sobbed. "Oh God, Bobby."_

_ Sam wasn't given time to mourn. He heard a car pull up and, afraid it was the police, ran out to his car and drove out the back way. He glanced at his rearview mirror to briefly see a black Chevy before he pulled into the road. _

"Bobby!" he gasped awake. He sighed as the nightmare left him.

"Bobby? Knew someone named that?" Sam turned to see Dean standing next to him, as if on guard.

"Yeah," said Sam. "Bobby Singer. Closest thing to an uncle I ever had." Dean's eyes widened at the name. "You knew him too?"

Dean nodded but didn't say a word, obvious hurt written across his face. He had been close to Bobby as well. Sam swung out of the cot and went to the bathroom to relieve himself. He walked out when he was done and started to dress.

"Word of the challenge had spread through the camp," said Dean. "Everyone will be there."

"I didn't know it would be a spectator's sport," said Sam dryly putting on a pair of pants.

"Witnesses." Dean paused as he watched Sam put on a dark colored shirt. The bruises on his ribs and back were still visible. Huge bruises that made Sam groan as he got dressed. "Don't fight."

"Give me one good reason not two," said Sam turning to Dean after putting on his boots. Dean turned away. "Thought not."

Sam walked out and headed to the obstacle course. His entire team was standing on one side of the circle and Sam's assailants on the other with guards. Sam walked up to his team.

"Sam, you don't have to do this," said Carl.

"I'll be fine," said Sam clapping hand on Carl's shoulder before walking into the dirt ring. He turned to his attackers. "I'll fight one of you. If I win, you leave me and my friends alone."

"And if I win," said the leader walking in, "you leave, permanently."

"Can I have your name first? I'd like to know who I'm fighting."

"Pierce," he said hesitantly. Sam held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Pierce."

Pierce gave him a questioning look before shaking.

"The rules," said Castiel who was referring. "Three five minute rounds. Any one down for more than five seconds loses the round. Anyone who goes for a weapon has forfeited the game. Head shots at minimum. Anyone who steps outside the circle loses the round. Whoever wins two out of three wins the match. Keep it friendly. Ready? Begin!"

Pierced charged and Sam dodged him. Pierce stumbled and barely caught himself before going outside the ring. He charged at Sam again, swinging a fist. Sam caught the fist and threw pierce face down. Castiel started the count and reached five.

"Round one to Sam!" he yelled and people cheered. "Round two!"

Pierce charged at Sam, who caught the swinging fist and delivered one of his own to Pierce's middle. Pierce gasped and backed off to catch his breath and Sam let him, waiting on the other side of the ring.

"I won't lose to you," said Pierce.

"We all lose some time," said Sam.

Pierce charged at Sam again, and Sam dodged and shoved Pierce out of the ring.

"Pierce out of the ring!" yelled Castiel for al to hear. "Winner, Sam Wesson!"

Cheers ran from the crowd as Pierce glared at Sam from outside the ring. Sam looked back sadly.

"Just leave me alone," he said. He looks up at the crowd. "To anyone else who thinks they can gang-up on me, just leave me alone!"

He walked out of the ring and out of the course, his team following him. He looked over at Dean who had an expression Sam didn't expect.

Pride.

**TBC**

-"Tourniquet" is a song by Evanescence


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: I Am Thankful**

Over the next several weeks Sam was thankfully left alone. Since the fight anyone outside his inner circle kept a distance from him. The team acted like nothing changed. They trained, patrolled and laughed with high spirits.

Ben practiced more after watching Sam's fight against Pierce. He took Sam's training to heart and soon could shoot seven out of ten cans from the target. Sam congratulated him on a job well done but Ben was still disappointed.

"What's wrong, Ben," asked Sam.

"It's still not as good as ours," he said.

"I've been shooting since I was seven. You only had a couple of years. I've had a lot of practice."

He clapped Ben on the shoulder encouraging and led him to the kitchen for a pastry. When he entered the mess cabin the rest of the team was sitting at their table, talking in excited tones. Sam walked over with Ben after grabbing a pastry.

"Hey, guys, what's going on," asked Sam.

"Thanksgiving!" said Carl happily. Sam looks at them in surprise.

"You guys have Thanksgiving?" he said surprised.

"Sure, why not?" asked Alan.

"It's just that, we didn't have Halloween."

"We're living in a nightmare," said Todd. "No need to advertise it. But Thanksgiving and Christmas are different. Got a lot of things to be thankful for."

"Being alive for one!" said Carl and everyone nodded in agreement.

"What do you do?" asked Sam curious.

"We go out to the refuge and have this big feast," said Ethan. "They got pens of turkey and pigs and we cook it up with the vegetables they've been growing and eat in the mess hall."

"Castiel and Chuck say a prayer of thanks beforehand," said Ben

For a brief moment, Sam wondered what had happened to Sammy after the news of Becca's death reached the camp, but knew Lisa had set him up with a good family to raise him. He was actually eager to see the boy again.

As the teams finished eating and started cleaning up the table Dean walked up to the front of the room where he knew everyone would be able to see him.

"As you all know, Thanksgiving is coming," he said and everyone tuned in. "We'll all be heading to the refugee camp and that means locking everything up."

Some men nodded. Sam understood this. Didn't need Croats or nomads overrunning their camp.

All our food will be going into the convoy. The busses and cars will be gassed up and extra gas will be placed in the back of each vehicle. Chores will be listed at each stop. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!" hollered the room and Dean nodded.

"Ben, relaxed," laughed Sam as he watched the young man nearly bouncing on his seat.

"I can't help it. I just miss my mom," he said smiling. The entire team chuckled.

"We know how you feel, boy," said Daniel. "We all miss our families. It's not right to be away from them but it's for their own protection that we're here."

"Mom didn't even want me to fight, but I'm too much like my dad," said Ben smiling.

Sam smiled down at the man. He did look like a younger version of Dean. He acted like Dean too, but more rationally. Must get that from his mother.

"I can't wait to see the girls," said Carl with a smile to his brother. Both had girlfriends at the camp, a pair of twins of course.

"Come on, guys, let's go pack up," said Sam smiling at them and they all stood. The next few days would be busy with the camp batting down the hatches and getting ready to go. A hunting party would go into town and bring back some meat before they leave to the camp.

They went back to their cabin and started packing for the trip. The twins of course made a game out of it and it soon resulted in them throwing Ethan's football around till Ethan caught it and stuffed it into his bag.

Sam was actually excited. He hadn't had Thanksgiving since he was with Jessica. They had only been together for two years but it had been the best two years of his life. She had never complained about his little quirks when they moved in together or when they went out, like how he locked everything up before going to bed and had a gun in the nightstand or that he would eat at a table that faced the entire room. None of his other dates could deal with Sam's need to safeguard himself but Jessica did and that was one of the reasons why he loved her.

When they finished packing they helped out in the garden, picking vegetables to take with them to the refugee camp. Harvest well under was underway and Dean wanted it done before Thanksgiving. Each day each squad had a different job, sometimes harvest and sometimes canning. A lot of the squads were singing different songs and cadences to pass the time. Sam was surprised to find Dean standing with him as they harvested the corn, a sack across his shoulders and half full of corn.

"I didn't know other Hunters celebrated Thanksgiving," he said as he pulled off a corn ear.

"My dad never did," said Dean. "He always passed out on the couch with Johnny Walker and left me with a tub of extra crispy."

"Oh," said Sam sadly. That sounded a lot like his dad except his always took him to a diner beforehand to eat before going for the hard stuff. "Bobby did. He invited us to Thanksgiving and Christmas every year but we rarely made it."

"Yeah?" asked Dean with a smile. "Us too." He laughed. "Surprised he hasn't run into each other sooner."

"Kismat," said Sam with a smile. He laughed when he caught Dean's confused look. "You know, destiny."

Dean looked doubtful but shrugged and continued to pick corn. When they finished that, they shucked them and boiled them to cut off the kernels and can. A stack was left as is and stored for next spring's planting. Green beans were snapped, peas were canned and tomatoes were boiled down into sauce. The process took a long time to finish with each squad having its own job.

Once everything was canned and stored either in the underground storage or placed in the trucks to go in padded crates. Men walked around camp to close down, walking the perimeter to check for any holes in the fence and locked up buildings. A few times Sam saw Dean helping out and smiled softly at the sight. Dean deserved the loyalty he got from his men. He was a good man and despite the way he acts was good with his men.

Once everything was finished to his satisfaction, Dean ordered the trucks to move out. Sam and the rest of his squad got into their Humvee and followed Dean's Jeep out of camp. The last car out locked the gate and they moved down the road. No one feared getting lost. Each driver knew the way to the camp by heart as well as every detour so none of the cars would stop unless absolutely needed.

The ride to the refugee camp was long, and the twins decided to pass the time by singing "Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall." They didn't make it to seventy before looking at a very annoyed team.

"Sing one more word and I will blow a hole in your leg," sad Ethan. "Both your legs."

"Aw, come on, Ethan," said Carl smirking mischievously. "You love our singing."

Ethan slid back the slide of his 9mil.

"Shutting up!" said both twins and rest of the group laughed.

When they stopped for the night, Lucy and Alli ran over from their medical bus and joined them for dinner of beans and pork. Everyone began telling their best Thanksgiving memory. Most consisted of pigging out on turkey and watching the football game.

Alli had different memories.

"We used to have Thanksgiving at my grandmothers with my aunts, uncles and cousins," she said. "We'd play football while the food was cooking and sit at the table and say what we were thankful for that year. Then we'd eat. After dinner when we got home Mom would take out a basket and we'd all write out names on it for secret Santa. Since we didn't make much money we had to keep costs of presents low to make sure everyone got a gift."

She pulled out a leather bracelet with a metal clasped that looked like a cowboy belt buckle.

"This was the last gift Mom gave me," she said sadly. Lucy wrapped her arms around her partner and held her close as Ben who sat next to her rubbed the back of her shoulders.

They finished eating and slept. Each sleeper was restless and none of them got much sleep in. Ethan sat up and started whittling, the twins started a game of poker, Ben and Alan continued to try to sleep and Sam just lay on his back, looking up at the stars. Finally, dawn broke and they all headed off again.

Once the camp came into view, everyone calmed down. The gates opened and families gathered to greet the returning fighters. The convoy drove to the parking area and parks as the people gathered. Men and women got out and started running to their families. There was a lot of hugging and crying, reminding Sam of when soldiers came home from wars. He supposed it was a lot the same. They were coming back from a war, if temporarily.

Lisa walked out of the crowd and pulled her son into a hug as Dean walked up. Sam was amazed at how close Dean and Lisa were even though they weren't together anymore.

Suddenly, Sam felt something barrel into his legs and a squeaky voice yelling, "Uncle Sam!" and he looked down to see little Sammy holding onto his legs.

"Hey, Sammy," said Sam laughing and reaching down and lifting Sammy up in his arms. "How you doing, big guy?"

"I miss Mommy," said Sammy sadly. Sam sighed and hugged the child close.

"I do too, buddy," he said. "I do too."

They hugged for several minutes till the rest of the team arrived to greet their youngest member. Sammy was passed around from member to member with hugs and ruffled hair and everyone laughed at the boy's antics as he tried to pull Todd down by his arm.

"Come on, guys," called Castiel. "We gotta unload the trucks."

"I wanna help! I wanna help!" said Sammy bouncing on his feet. Sam laughed and picked the boy up.

"I think we could use an extra helper," he said and they walked to the trucks to unload.

They took out all the canned vegetables, stored in jars for storage or bags for freezing. They stored the food in the underground storage shelter. Underground kept it safe from the elements, kept it cool and wouldn't lose food in case the camp was destroyed. A large freezer was built and ice units placed in attached to generators to keep meat frozen or keep food for months till it would be cooked.

That night everyone ate in the mess hall. Preparations for Thanksgiving were already underway, but there were still the masses to feed. Sam had a time trying to get Sammy to eat his Brussels sprouts but the boy kept feeding them to one of the camp dogs. Finally Sam had to threaten with no desert till Sammy finally decided to eat them.

Sam was placed win the same tent as Dean again and Sammy decided to sleep with the two men that night instead of with his foster family. Sam got permission from the family first, of course. They knew how close Sam and Sammy were and they saw no harm in it.

Sam woke up thanksgiving morning to Sammy being in the middle of a person sandwich. Sam again had to carefully extract himself to not wake not only Sammy but also Dean.

Sam walked over to the communal showers and quickly washed there were few stalls and each was needed for how many people there were in the camp. He had a five minute scrub down, toweled dry and wrapped the towel around him. Throwing open the curtain he stepped out, and almost right into Dean.

"Oh crap!" said Sam in surprise and then laughed nervously. "Sorry."

"No, I am," said Dean. "I thought this stall as empty. Obviously not."

"Yeah," said Sam and cleared his throat. "Where's Sammy?"

"With Lisa and Ben. Came to get a shower."

Sam stepped aside.

"Shower's free," he said. He grabbed his clothes to put on. "See you at breakfast."

"Right," said Dean and walked into the stall. Sam swore that Dean was watching him dress for a moment before closing the stall curtain.

Sam dressed and went to the mess hall to join his team for breakfast. Lisa and Ben arrived a bit later with Sammy and Sammy ran toward Sam. Sam gave Sammy a plate of pancakes and eggs and spread the precious maple syrup on them. Sammy ate his breakfast with gusto.

After breakfast, the six year old boy pulled the team into a game of tag with his friends. Snacks would be provided but supper wouldn't be served till late afternoon. Families milled around as they watched the children play and laugh. Some group went off to play football games. Each group was doing something different and it made Sam smile. Each family had their own different tradition that had gotten incorporated into the camp.

By midday Sam was exhausted from chasing children. He was more than happy to sit down and grab a beer that was being handed out at a stand near the mess hall. He walked over to watch the football game that was currently in play and watched as Dean grabbed the ball and ran to the opposite side of the field. Sam nearly choked at the sight of Dean's bare chest. He could make out scares from various creature attacks but that didn't mare the sculpted physique of Dean's chest. He wasn't the only one watching. Mena and women watched the game, but most of the women watched the planes of the soldier's bare chests as they played.

"All right, guys, I'm beat," called one player after a while.

"Come on," complained another player. "We haven't even gotten to halftime."

"Sorry, guys, but my calves are killing me."

"Hey, how about you, Sasquatch?" yelled a third player looking at Sam.

"What?" asked Sam confused.

"You do know how to play football, right?" asked the man and Sam nodded. "So, come over here and play."

Sam looked over at Dean who was standing on the opposing side. He gave Sam a daring look and Sam felt an intense need to challenge it.

"All right," he said pulling off his shirt and throwing it toward Lucy who was watching beside him.

"Since you got some long legs, I'd say you're a linebacker," said the first player and Sam nodded in agreement. They spent a minute introducing each other before going through the play and breaking up to face the opposing team.

It was a cold day but soon their bodies were hot and sweaty from tackling and running. Sam got tackled so many times he was surprised he didn't have a concussion.

"How are you feeling now, Sammy," asked Dean across of Sam as they got ready to make another play.

"Pretty damn good, Dee," said Sam, putting in his own nickname for Dean. The play as made. Sam ran down the side of the field that was the opposite teams, looking back to catch the ball when it was thrown. He saw it arch through the air and he reach up to grab t.

Suddenly he was tackled and he felt a flaring pain in his head. For a moment he blacked out and when he came too, Lucy and Dean were looking down at him worried.

"What happened," he asked.

"You hit you head on a rock," said Lucy. "It's only a bump but it knocked you good. You were only out for a minute." She laughed. "You are so accident prone."

"Comes with the territory," said Sam as Dean helped him up. He wobbled for a moment before regaining his equilibrium and was able to stand on his two legs. He smiled appreciatively to Dean. "Thanks."

"No problem," said Dean as Sammy ran up.

"You hit your head, Uncle Sam?" asked Sammy and Sam smiled down at the boy reassuringly.

"Yeah, but it was just a small bump," he said kneeling down in front of the boy. "See, I'm fine."

Sammy reaches up and hugged Sam. Sam hugged the boy carefully and lifted him up to walk to the sidelines, not caring about the game. The foster family said that since Becca's death, Sammy had been terrified of losing another member of his family, which Sam was a part of in the boy's mind.

Sam spent a half hour convincing the six year old that he was okay, that it was just a small bump and he wasn't going to die before Sammy had Sam chasing him around the playground again.

Midafternoon comes and everyone files into the mess hall. Food was laid out on a table in the front so everyone could line up to serve themselves on Lisa and Dean gives the word.

Sam and Sammy joined Lucy, Alli and the rest of the squad as everyone took their seats. They chatted for a couple minutes till Lisa and Dean walked in. the whole room quieted and watched the two leaders walk up to the front and stand in front of the food table.

"Hello," said Lisa with a smile. "Welcome everyone, especially our soldiers from the city, and Happy Thanksgiving. We truly have a lot of things to be thankful for. We survived for this year. We're alive, our families are alive, new babies born, and crops flourished.

"I would like to take a moment for us to reflect on what each of you has to be thankful for on your own. I know a lot of you don't believe in God…" She gave a pointed look to Dean who kept looking face forward, "…but I would like to offer him a prayer of thanks, for keeping us alive and allowing us the good fortune to make it through another year. God bless."

"God bless," said a lot of the people around Sam, but not all.

"A moment of silence for those we have last this year, and for us to give thanks for everything we are grateful for this year," said Lisa and there was a long pause.

Sam thought about what he should be thankful for this year. He wasn't into Thanksgiving as the rest of them were but he did try to find one thing he was thankful for each year it came around.

He looked around the table at the people around him. His team, his friends. It was them who accepted him for who he was and stood by him. Lucy for saving his life and Alli for giving him her friendship. He looked down at Sammy, the son of his best friend who wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him.

H looked up at the front table to see Dean staring at him. Sam thinks of the things that Dean had done for him that year. If it wasn't for Dean he would still be in the Croat filled streets of Chicago. He would be dead when Sarge revealed what Sam was but Dean gave him a second chance. Dean gave him so many chances. So many opportunities to prove himself that Sam didn't know if he could ever repay the man.

He smile sup at the man in gratitude and Dean nods back before turning to Lisa as she spoke again.

"Let's eat," she said and they all laughed.

Everybody lined up at the table, food was served, Dean cut the turkey, and Sam had to admit it was the best damn Thanksgiving he ever had.

**TBC **


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Gyspies, Tramps and Thieves**

After Thanksgiving, the soldiers went back to the front line, leaving tear streaked families. They also left with a few extra fighters, men and women who newly became adults that decided to join the front line of the battle.

As soon as they got back, Sam helped Ben improve on his shooting. The Youngman improved greatly and Sam was proud to see his progress.

"All right, Ben, that's enough for today," he said. "Let's go get a drink."

"All right," said Ben and they put away the firearms. They walked into the mess hall to see the rest of the team talking animatedly.

"Hey, guys. What's this about?" he asked.

"Soccer!" said Carl excited. "Team B versus Team E!"

"We're going to clobber'em," said Todd.

"You guys play soccer?" asked Sam as he sat down.

"Oh yeah," said Ben. "Soccer, football, baseball; we have a tournament with just about every game."

"The winning team gets a day free of chores," said Ethan.

"And it's going to be us!" said the twins and they high-fived each other.

"One problem," said Ethan. "No one's been able to beat Team E for a year, not even us."

The twins have him a hurtful look and put their head sin their arms. Sam looked at the Sam rejected looks on each of his teammates.

"Well, however goof they are, we are better," he said. "We got something they don't."

"What's that," asked Alan.

"Me." They gave him a curious look. "My soccer team almost made state."

That seemed to elevate the team and they talked in excitement again. One team was taking bets on which team won. Most were betting on team E.

"Twenty on B," said Lucy walking in.

"Make that two," said Alli.

"What are you betting?" asked Sam as they sat down.

"Moon shine rations," said Lucy. "Other than food and water, it's all we got to bet."

"So you're betting on us?" said Alan. She smiled at him as she ate her food.

"Just think of all the 'shine I can share with if I do win," she said. They laughed as they ate. Toward the end of breakfast Dean, Chuck and Castiel walked in. Castiel was carrying a soccer ball.

"As everyone knows, today at noon is our annual soccer game," said Dean. "Team B versus Team E. everyone knows the rules and the teams know it is to be a friendly game." He gave each team a severe look. "No hard stuff. Just good clean fun, you hear?"

"Yes, sir," said both teams.

"Good. Now eat up, get out there and have fun!"

"Yes, sir," said the entire hall. Castiel tossed the ball and the hall cheered, bouncing it around the room. Sometimes it hits a table, plate and cups and sending food flying everywhere but it always went back into the air. It was only when a gong sounded that the hall was quiet and everyone filed out to walk down to the field. Two barrels on each side were set for goals.

"Who's out best goalie," asked Sam as they stood on one side of the field. A red scarf was tied to their arms. Team E had blue scarves.

"That's me," said Alan holding up his hand.

"Okay. Defense?" The twins held up their hands. "Offense?" Ethan and Ben held up theirs. "Good. I'll be with Ethan and Ben. Any questions?" They shook their heads." Let's try to have a good game."

"Break!" they said clapping their hands and the game began.

The E team was good. Within the first few minutes they were ahead by five points. The sound of the bullhorn at halftime was a welcome reprieve to the team and they went to their sides of the field.

"What going on, guys?" asked Sam. "You guys are the best guerillas team in camp. How is it you can't beat another team at soccer?"

"They're better," said Ben.

"No they're not. They can be beaten. They're only human. They can lose."

"How?" asked Carl.

"Simple diversion tactic." And Sam laid out this plan to the others. They listened for a minute before nodding. "We can do this, guys. There is no better team in the whole camp."

The bullhorn signaled again.

"Break!"

They went back into the game. E had the ball. They kicked it ward the B goal and tried to score but Alan caught it and passed it to Todd. Todd kicked it to Carl, and Carl kicked it to be. Ben and Ethan kicked it around E team and kicked it to Sam.

When Sam had the ball he danced with it, his old soccer instinct kicking in. he spun around E team, kicked in the ball around them, and kicked it into the goal to score, B team and the crowd cheered.

With Sam directing they scored twice more and the team was kicking it around the E team. The other team tried to kick back the ball but they kept it away and scored higher near the end.

Sam kicked the ball to Ethan who kicked it back and Sam kicked it back to Ethan and Ethan kicked it to Ben. Ben made to score when a siren sounded. Everything stopped so suddenly that Sam could practical hear what was on their minds.

Did the demons find them? Did the Croats breach the perimeter?

The fear of everyone permeated the air. They were frozen where they stood or sat on the ground.

It was Dean that took control.

"POSITIONS!" he yelled to get their attention and snap them from their fear. "Everyone in their positions! Arm yourselves! Man the 50 cal! Now, move, move, move, move!"

Everyone ran to the armory and grabbed a gun and loaded the clips and ran to their positions to the gate. Two went to the 50 caliber that was mounted on a car. Solders lined the fence and put the barrels through the chain links. Dean and Castiel stood at the front of the fence next to the watch tower.

"Summer, what do you see?" Dean yelled up the tower.

"Unknowns heading out way!" Summers yelled down.

"Everyone on the ready!" yelled Dean and the command went down the row. Ready to fire on my mark!"

Silence fell as each soldier waited anxiously. Sam gripped his rifle and waited for Dean's word, hoping against all odds the demons and Croats hadn't found him. Soon voices could be heard from the road. Sam frowned at the sound.

"Is that singing?" he asked Ethan next to him. Ethan paused to listen.

"Church hymnals," he said.

Everyone frowned as the singing grew louder and from the road a group of people came into view, singing from the top of their lungs and arms held out. There were fifty in all, and only five of them had semi-automatics.

"People," breathed Ben in surprise. "Human beings."

"Ho there!' called the leader. "Ho!"

"Identify yourself!" yelled Dean.

"Rob," said the man. "I'm Rob, the leader of Sacrament Lutheran caravan. We're just passing through."

"No one just passes through," yelled someone down the line.

"We are," said Rob. "We'll just camp here the night and we'll be gone in the morning."

Sam was close enough to hear one of the commanders whispers in Dean's ear.

"Don't trust them," he said. "They'll steal our supplies. Take everything we have."

"They're human,' said Dean "We're not savages." He turned back to the group. "Let them in!"

The gates opened and Dean walked out. He talked quietly, no doubt giving the camp leader the rules of the compound. Rob nodded in agreement and the group walked in. The guards lowered their guns but still eyed the group warily.

"Have you seen them before?" Sam asked Ethan.

"We've dealt with a few nomads over the years, but to this group. They're new."

Sam looked at the group settling down outside of the initial compound. They didn't seem disturbed over the group of soldiers watching them. Sam walked over to them.

"Welcome to the Chitaqua Compound," he said with a friendly smile. "I'm Sam, Leader of B squad."

The group hardly glanced at him one girl got up and walked over to him.

"Don't mind them," she said. "Only Rob's has the guts to speak to soldiers, but that's mostly because he's our leader. Most here think soldiers are the reason the world ended."

"Then you're in luck," said Sam smiling at her. "I'm not a soldier."

The girl frowned. "But…"

"I was a librarian."

The girl laughed. A woman looked over at them.

"Laura," she yelled. "Come back here."

The girl looked over at the woman and back at Sam.

"Gotta go."

She walked back over to her mother who began to reprimand her on talking to stranger. Sam watched wistfully.

"Not right." She turned to see Alli watching Laura as well. "A child walking around on the outside without a guard. The closest they got to protection is the pistol strapped to Rob's hip."

"To some people, that's all they need to feel safe," said Sam watching the group.

Since the Apocalypse, groups of nomads called "Families", usually because they were all from one family, wandered around the country looking for temporary havens and kept on the move, avoiding cities or anywhere else there was Croat activity. They didn't stay in one place for long, believing that moving around was the best chance to stay alive. The only visible source of protection was the gun and riffle the leader and five guards carried but Sam happened to know each member was armed somewhere to maintain the illusion of peace.

"Better watch Ben," he said. "They like to take the young."

She nodded and left. Sam looked over at Dean talking to Father Rob. He briefly looked over at Sam and the message it passed was clear.

Stay clear of the family.

With a nod he went in search of his team. Then met then after a couple of steps, sensing he needed to talk. Ben was helping Chuck sort supplies.

"Watch the," he said. "Watch Ben."

They nodded in understanding. Sam looked back at the family as he watched Dean finish with the father and walk over to Sam. He stood next to Sam with his hands in his pockets.

"What did he say," asked Sam.

"Same as he said," said Dean. "Stopping for supplies till they hit the next town. Only gun I can see is the six rifles and father's pistol."

"Not true." Dean looked at him curious. "A gun trapped to each hip, hidden behind jackets. Each is armed with at least a switchblade. Father Rob's second, he stands alert. He knows how to handle himself in a fight and the lack of baggage means they're ready to run."

"How do you know that?" asked Dean.

"Met a family once," he said. "They were nice. I stayed for supper. The father insisted I stay the night, but after how looming he was and after introducing me to each member of the family I knew he wanted me to join, whether I wanted to or not."

"You ran," said Dean knowing how Sam had been.

Sam nodded. "I ran," he said and looked at Dean. "But I'm done running."

Dean reached over and placed a gentle hand on Sam's arm. Dean's hand felt so warm on his bare arm and for some reason the touch sent a shiver down Sam's spine and he leaned into Dean's touch.

"Any more nightmares?" asked Dean.

"A few," said Sam. he didn't want to say he had one the night before that me him wake in a sweat because Dean always seemed to worry when it came to Sam.

"You can talk to any of us, you know." Sam looked over at Dean. He sensed Dean wanted to add a "to me" in the sentence but kept it to himself. "It might help."

"I'm fine," he said. Dean gave him a look of disbelief.

"My door's always open, Sammy."

He walked away. Sam watched him walk away before going to his team.

Activity around the camp increased with the family. Of the family members the only ones that interacted with the soldiers were Father Rob and his second Paul and a few of the younger generations before quickly found by their mothers and brought back to the group.

More than once Sam caught them staring at Ben and attempted to talk to him before another teammate lead him away for something. If Ben noticed he gave no sign.

That night was spent storytelling and past exploits. The mothers kept the children away but the men listened attentively. Chuck had distributed what supplies he could spare and dean posted guards at all the storehouses.

Sam looked across the fire and spotted Dean at watch, gazing at everything like a hawk. Did the man ever relax?

"Sam." Sam turned to Simon, one of the few that seemed indifferent about Sam's abilities. Why don't you tell them about your last Croat attack?"

Sam shrugged. Given the religious aspect of the family, he wasn't about to relate his last exploit.

"They attacked. I fought back and came back alive. Nothing to it."

Nothing to it, my Aunt Sally! His team was pinned by at least forty Croats and he manages to draw them away and get back alive!"

"I got lucky," he said uneasy. "Excuse me."

He got up and walked over to Dean, finding more comfort with the camp leader then he did by the warm fire.

"I'll talk to him," said Dean knowing Sam's concern.

"It'll still be talked about. Can't stop what people already know."

Dean reached up and put a hand on Sam's back. It was then Sam realized he was leaning against Dean. He moved away.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"I didn't mind," Dean said with a smile.

Sam went back to leaning against Dean. He had to admit he did feel comfortable with Dean, and safe.

Night fell over the camp and the family headed to their area to sleep. Dean assigned double patrols that night. Sam avoided the family the rest of the time and helped Ben practice.

"You're getting better," he said as they waked back to the cabin.

"Good enough to go on the next run?" asked Ben hopefully.

"Talk to Dean."

Ben laughed and Sam put an arm around Ben's shoulders. They were on early morning patrol, walking around the sleeping cabins and tents. They were joined by teams C and D.

"Why don't you like the group that came in," asked Ben.

"I don't know what you mean," said Sam.

Ben shook his arm off and turned on him. "I'm not a child, Sam. I've seen how you act when they're around. You and Dean. You expect them to grab everything and run. Why is that?"

Sam sighed. He knew Ben was no child. He stopped being a child when the end of days came.

"Dean will kill me," he said.

"I'll deal with my dad," said Ben.

Sam laughed at the reminder. It was hard to tell that Ben was Dean's son. He acted nothing like Dean. He was more laid back and open minded. Ben had Dean's attitude for sure but other ten that he was more like his mother.

"Those groups, families, hey do tend to grab things, people mostly. Young people," said Sam staring at Ben pointing. It didn't take Ben long to figure it out.

"You're afraid they'd take me?" he asked.

"A lot of families are extremely religious. They believe it was our violent ways that lead to the Apocalypse."

"That's ridiculous. It was demons. Dad told me."

"It's their belief. And they think if they take a young person away from the violence they can be saved."

"That's idiotic. I'm not leaving. You're my family. Why would I leave?"

Sam smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

"Come on, tough guy, we've got a few more minutes till we turn in."

They walked past the armory cabin and were coming up to the showers when there was an explosion behind them. They were thrown to the ground and Sam covered Ben from the wood shrapnel. They heard more explosions.

"Run!" Sam yelled over the noise. "Run, Ben! Go!"

Ben ran as soon as Sam let him go, running toward the tree line away from the explosions. Sam followed, barely getting a few feet before an explosion went of next to him, throwing him to the ground. A piece of the wall hit him over the head and pain flared across his head, blurring his vision.

His last sight before he lost consciousness was of Ben running to the safety of the trees and explosions filled his ears.

**TBC**

-"Gyspies, Tramps and Thieves" is a song by Cher


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: **_**Fides, Spes, Amor**_

Sam slowly woke to a pounding headache and something digging in his back. He squirmed away but it only pressed back in. something cool and wet pressed against his aching brow and the rim of a canteen pressed against his lips.

"Come on, Sammy, drink up."

Hearing the voice of the only person Sam hoped to see, he obeyed. He took two large gulps without choking and looked up to see Dean looking down at him in concern. It changes to relief when Sam opened his eyes.

"Thank God, you're awake!"

"What happened," he asked.

"Damn gypsies got the drop on us," said Dean wiping Sam's brow again. "Forced us outta camp. Last I saw the whole place was up in flames."

"Yeah, after cleaning out the pantry," groaned Sam. "How long?"

"Whole day. It's evening."

Sam groaned. He had been out the whole day. He must have been hit hard.

Then he remembered.

"Ben!" he yelled shooting from the ground. It turned into him throwing up what little he ate the night before.

"Easy, easy," said Dean rubbing his back soothingly. He handed Sam the water. "Rinse and spit."

Sam did and turned back to Dean. "Where's Ben?"

Dean looked away sadly. "I only found you."

Sam reached over and laid a hand on Dean's arm. Closing his eye he used his powers to search for Ben, using Dean as the connection. When he found the boy he sighed.

"He's fine," he said in relief. "He's with the twins."

"How do you know," asked Dean in hope. Sam smiled at him.

"Freaky mind powers, remember? I can see him."

Dean sighed in relief and hung his head. Not knowing why Sam reached up and combed his fingers through Dean's hair. Dean lay next to Sam and instantly fell asleep, probably exhausted from watching Sam all day and night.

As Dean slept Sam kept watch over their meager camp. As he did he thought. Dean must have been nearby to have pulled Sam from the blast zone so quickly. Was he going to check up on Ben? Or maybe he couldn't sleep and decided on a walk?

Sam remembered Lucy telling him that Dean had been interested in him. He first thought it was because of his powers, but what if it was something else. The laughter they shared, the hours of talking. Was it because Dean cared about him?

Slowly Sam fell into an uneasy sleep, still grasping for answers. He didn't have any nightmares that night, just like when Dean sat beside Sam while Sam was recovering. At the moment he didn't know why and he didn't know how, but with Dean the nightmares never came.

Sam woke to Dean slowly combing his hair, and because it soothed his aching head, he was in no hurry to open his eyes. Dean spoke softly in his ear behind him.

"You're amazing, you know that? There barely a week and you already have a group of people ready to die for you." Dean laughed. "Myself included. I tried to deny it, chuck said it was impossible from the start, but I couldn't stop myself. Everywhere you go, you get people to like you or damn you. And I sure as hell like you.

"I believe everyone has some darkness in them, you more than most and you try your hardest not to give into it. You have no idea how much strength that takes. If it was me, I would have killed those four. I would have given into the darkness."

Sam could feel Dean's breath ghost in his ear as Dean leaned close and it sent a shiver through him.

"I know what you did. The secret you fight so hard to keep." Sam almost stiffened in Dean's arms. "I know you started the apocalypse. I was there in the church, trying to stop you, but the door was blocked. I couldn't get through.

The next thing I knew I was in couch on an F-47. And I hate flying. Then I was on the ground. It was then I knew the Apocalypse started and prepared for it.

"I know everything about you, Sammy. Not just what Chuck told me. Like how I know you're really awake now."

With a start Sam opened his eyes and looked up at him.

"Why?"

"Because I don't care about what you are. It's who you are that I do care about. What I saw was a kind, wonderful, beautiful man."

Sam turned away for the longest time. He never thought of himself as a man. He tried to act like one, but with his powers he didn't know what to call himself. Azazel called him "special." He was leaning toward "cursed."

Dean turns him back to face him.

"I know you're scared but you have Lucy, Alli and your team to turn to. You're not alone."

"What about you?" asked Sam.

Dean turned away. "I'm always alone."

Sam sat up. "So you don't practice what you preach?"

Dean stood up. "It's better that way."

"Ho? At least I had a reason to want to be alone. Everyone I ever loved died. You at least had Chuck and Cas. Before I came here I had nobody. I even started…."

Sam stopped, not wanting to admit to a constant reminder. Not with Dean.

"I know, Sam. I know you jump started all of this."

Sam turned to him in shock.

"How?"

"I was there, remember. Cas zapped me there minutes before to stop to, but I was too late. Big Bang part two."

Sam laughed. "You tell me I'm alone and you got an angel and a prophet with you. Why do you have to be alone? I'm the one with all the problems, the one who should really be left alone." Dean didn't say anything. "You say you know me? Every night I've ever had after the fire was about you. I know almost as much about you as you know yourself."

"What do you know?"

"I know you have a penchant for movie quotes to hide how lonely you really are, and a slight masochist with how you throw yourself into danger without a care of what happens to you." Dean glared at him. Sam stood and walked to him. "And I also know you're a good man. You're not nice because you still have dark views of the world, some of which are true. You're good because you generally feel for the people you help, but also distance yourself because you know they're not part of your world and you're not part of theirs. You help them because you know what it's like to lose people and you wouldn't be human if you didn't care."

Dean's gaze softened.

"I also know why you keep the Impala even through it doesn't run and why you grab the largest piece of pie. Why you push so hard during a hunt and why you blame yourself when it goes wrong. You miss your parents and you're trying to be the son you want them to be. I know what that's like."

Dean's eyes flashed angrily at the mention of his parents. Grabbing Sam's collar he shoved him into the nearest tree, holding him there.

"Don't you eve mention my parents. You don't even know them."

"But I do know what it's like to want to make my parents proud. The only reason I'm still me is because of knowing what my parents would think."

Dean let go of Sam and stepped back. Sam watched as the man before him fought against himself.

"You don't know all about me," he said.

"And you don't know all about me," said Sam. "I think it's safe to say we don't know a lot about each other."

Dean nodded and they go a fire started as night fell. Their only protected was Dean's single magazine and Sam's bone handled knife so Sam took a few branches and started making spears. Dean even sacrificed one of his bullets to catch a rabbit for their dinner.

"So, after Jessica, who else did you have," asked Dean as they ate. Sam looked up at him in surprise. "Just curious."

"About my love life? Dude!"

Dean put his hands up in surrender. "Well, we've covered everything else."

"You realize you'll have to do the same. And no one night stands. They don't count. Actual relationships."

Dean nodded. "Deal. You first."

"There was Jessica, of course, and a girl named Madison. I was only with her a couple of days but we were together in a way I guess. Been running so long I didn't have time for relationships." He turned to Dean who had a sympathetic look. "So, you?"

One or two, like you. Lisa, of course, but we're over. She treats me more hen a brother then a former lover. I experimented a lot through the years. Wasn't till I was sixteen that I found out I hated labels."

Sam looked at him curiously. "Labels?"

Dean looked down guiltily. "When I was sixteen, dad and I stopped to hand what seemed to be a pack of werewolves in San Francisco. I went to school there, and met someone. His name was Steve."

Dean gave Sam a questioning look and Sam knew why. He wasn't the first man who told Sam he was gay or bisexual. He knew a few in college. Sam never thought about being with another man at all before he met Dean.

He nodded for Dean to continue.

"We immediately hit it off. Was there a month, and the whole time I spent it with Steve. First time I'd been with a guy and I had no idea what I was doing and Steve showed me the ropes.

"It was a week before I left that the school found out about Steve and I. a jock found s kissing the lockers and told the whole school. The hardest thing I had to do was leave Steve there.

"We kept in contact with each other. We talked about our days. I'd keep out the hunts of course. He'd talk about school and I about the places I went. I'd take pictures and send them back to him. A lot of New York pictures. He wanted to go there someday.

"It was almost six months after I left that the call came in. it was his mother. She found my name in his phone and asked if I was a friend. I said I was and that I moved away but we still kept in touch. Then I asked why she called." Dean shuddered a breath, as if keeping in a sob. "Steve was killed. The jocks cornered him in the locker room and bashed his head in. apparently it wasn't the first time he was jumped. There were bruises all over his body, easily covered by his clothes. Not even his parents knew."

Sam could see Dean's grief and anger as he talked about his dead boyfriend. "Because he was gay?"

Dean nodded. 'It was then I realized I hated labels. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual, it shouldn't matter. If you love someone, it shouldn't matter if it's a man or woman. If we so find someone, we're the lucky ones."

Sam heard the passion in Dean's voice as he spoke. It made sense. If you did love someone, their gender shouldn't matter.

"You're right," he said. Dean looked up at him. "Love should have labels."

Sam didn't know if he meant to put the longing in his voice or not but Dean obviously heard it. Dean reached over and touched Sam's cheek.

Sam let out the breath he didn't know he was holding when he felt Dean's hand on his cheek. It felt so good. Dean's touch seemed to brand on his skin. And the look on Dean's face. It was of awed disbelief, like he couldn't believe he as touching Sam and Sam was letting him.

"How long?" he asked.

"Since the fire, and again when we found you. I knew I shouldn't. Cas and Chuck warned against it but I couldn't stop myself. If you want me to stop, I will.

"No. I like it. I like it when you touch me. When you're near, the nightmares go away. I like everything about you."

Dean laughed. "Sammy, if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were into me."

Sam smirked. "Maybe I am." Another look of surprise. "After all, you're the only one I'll let call me Sammy."

Dean's face seemed to light up as he looked at Sam. He leaned closer to the younger man.

"Can I?' he asked.

"Yes."

Dean leaned closer slowly, as if waiting for Sam to pull away. But Sam didn't want to. He sat perfectly still as Dean leaned loser and pressed his lips against Sam's.

Sam heard the girls describe Dean as a great kisser, but it wasn't close to what Sam felt. It was electrifying. The simple brush of lips made Sam dizzy. Not even Jessica had got that kind of reaction from Sam, and he planned on marrying her.

Sam moaned and wrapped his arms around Dean. He didn't know he and Dean had been tonguing until they pulled back and he looked up at Dean's swollen lips, flushed cheeks and darken yes. They were also lying back on the ground, how they wound up there Sam had no idea, and Dean half laid on him, his chest pressing against Sam's.

"Wow," he breathed when he could finally take a breath. "That was…"

"Yeah," said Dean. Sam could tell he had the same reaction. "You sure you never kissed a guy before?"

Sam shook his head. "Never."

"You're amazing."

Sam smile dup at him. It wasn't the first time he was told that he was a good kisser, but when Dean said it Sam felt pleased.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked.

"God, yes," said Dean.

Sam reached up, brought Dean's head down and kissed him. He didn't know how long he and Dean spent kissing. It could have been hours but felt like a few seconds, and Sam didn't care. He could spend forever kissing Dean.

Sam didn't know when they fell asleep but it was late. They lay on the ground with just their bodies for warmth and their coats as pillows. Again, Sam was free of his nightmares and instead dreamt of happier times with his father and Bobby Singer before his father had become hard on him. Bobby had convinced Jared to teach Sam baseball to help with his hunting, not knowing it was really to let the boy have fun. Jared relented and they spent the afternoon playing. Even Jared had gotten into the game and cheered when Sam hit a ball.

Both men woke early the next morning, knowing they had to go back. They cleared their small camp and walked back toward the compound. They left in the early morning and didn't return till late morning. The whole time they walked hand in hand and stole kisses before they were forced to continue on.

When they reached the compound they stared in shock. Everything had been destroyed, including Chuck's library and Castiel's meditation cabin. Not one building was spared.

"Oh my God, the people," Sam said in shock under his breath. "They were asleep when the bombs went off."

"Bastards," yelled Dean punching his fist against a piece of a wall. "We gave them protection and this is how they repay us?!"

Sam put a gentle hand on Dean's shoulder.

"You were doing the right, thing, Dean. There were in the wrong."

"Why does the right thing always screw me over?"

Sam looked at Dean, hurt. "Did it with me?"

Dean turned to him, saw the hurt on Sam's face and instantly regretted his words. He reached up and cupped Sam's face, his thumb gently rubbing Sam's cheek.

"No. Never with you."

Sam smiled at him and reached to take Dean's hand in his when they heard a shout.

"Sam! Dean!

Dean dropped his hand and they turned to see a group hurry toward them. Sam was shocked to see all of his team, Lucy, Alli, Castiel and Chuck run toward them.

"They're alive," Sam said in relief and ran toward them. Immediately, Lucy and Allie hugged him as the men crowded around. "I knew it."

"We thought we were the only ones," said Carl.

"We almost gave up," said Todd.

"Dad!" yelled Ben and hugged Dean. Dean hugged his son close and looked on the verge of tears.

"What happened?" asked Alan.

"Where are you?" asked Lucy.

"More important question, are there any others," asked Dean with an arm around Ben's shoulder.

"A few," said Ethan. "The other night had been hell. We've been uncovering and burying bodies all day and morning."

"How many is a few?"

"Twenty to thirty, including the wounded," said Chuck.

Dean cursed. Over two hundred soldiers had lived on these grounds not two days before and now they were down to one percent.

"Where are those sons of bitches?!" he yelled. "I'll kill them!"

"We'll find then, Dean," said Sam. "To ask why."

"What do you mean, Sam," asked Ben.

"Families are thieves. They don't go around blowing [laces up with the possibility of human causalities. They may be armed but they also value human life. They don't kill needlessly."

"So there was a reason for this attack?" asked Alli.

"There's no other explanation."

Dean looked at the group. From what Dean knew about families, what Sam said was true. They did not hurt uninfected humans so there had to be a reason behind it.

Did you see where they were heading," he asked Ethan.

"Tracks looked to be west," he said. "They have a twelve hours head start at least."

Dean nodded. "All right. Weapons status?"

"Low ammo and very few guns," said Chuck. "We have our blades but that's about it."

Dean nodded. "Right. Carl, Todd, you remember how to make crossbows?"

"Of course," said the twins.

"Grab at least eight other able bodied and show them how," said Dean. "We need everything; bows, bolts, quivers, all of it. Use whatever you need from salvage." He waved a hand to the wreckage. "You have plenty of materials. I want you all to head for the refugee camp as soon as possible. Ethan's in charge when you do. Alan, take four others and go into town, grab a bus, school, city, I don't care. Bring it here. We'll need to load everyone and everything up."

"What about you," asked Ben worried.

"I'm going to find the family."

Immediately there were shouts of disagreement by all but Chuck and Castiel.

"You can't go alone!" yelled Lucy. "You'll die!"

"Let us come with you," said Ben with shouts of agreement.

"No, no!" said Dean. "A group would go too slowly and get spotted easily. Better just men and no harm to you."

"You're not leaving me behind," said Sam walking forward. Dean looked at him daringly but Sam refused to back down. He had just found out his feelings for Dean and he'd be damned to leave him now.

"Sammy…"

"You're not leaving me behind," said Sam punctuating each word. "You might need me."

He looked at the others. They had relaxed somewhat when Sam spoke up

"Show of hands," he said. "Who would feel better if Sam accompanied me?"

Nine hands raised. He nodded.

"All right, then." He turned to Sam. "We leave at first light."

**TBC**

-Latin for "faith, hope and love."


	20. Chapter 20

**This chapter is rated NC-17**

**Chapter 20: Fire in the Night**

That night Sam and Dean slept in one of the tents Chuck had salvaged from the explosions. They slept on opposite sides of the tent, but they both itched to be next to each other. They reached across the tent and clasped hands, the contact finally letting them fall asleep.

Sam didn't know why he felt so comfortable with Dean. Maybe it was because he had known Dean for so long. Before, he would never have kissed another man, but with Dean he didn't hesitate. He kissed Dean, and it was amazing.

Why Dean an no other man? Was it because he knew Dean for so long? Or did no other man appeal to him? Or was it because Dean was Dean? So many questions on why ran in Sam's head.

"I can hear you thinking." Sam turned to Dean who was looking at him. Dean spoke softly. "What about?"

"A lot," said Sam vaguely, not wanting Dean to worry.

Dean quietly went over to him, knelt and looked down at him, his hand still clasped in Sam's.

"Do you regret it?"

Sam shook his head. "No. I just never had done it before. Kissed a guy. I don't know what that makes me."

Dean reached over and gently touched Sam's face. Sam instantly leaned into the touched, again amazed at how comfortable he was with Dean.

"It makes you Sam Wesson, leader of squad B, who finds his humanity despite his freaky powers. No labels."

Sam softly smiled and moved aside as Dean slid in next to him and Sam curled up against him, his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean laid his cheek on Sam's head and both slept peacefully.

The next morning the small group of soldiers packed to head out, the twins and their helpers throwing materials for crossbows in a wagon. Each one said farewell to their leader and comrade.

"Now, you both be careful," said Lucy as Dean to the first few crossbows and bolts that the twins finished. "Don't let those bastards get the jump on you."

"I won't, Mom," said Sam playfully as he shouldered his bag.

"Watch each other's backs," said Ethan. Sam nodded.

"We will. Keep our team safe."

Ethan nodded. "I will."

Lucy fidgeted for a moment. "Wait a minute," she said and ran to the medical cabin, the only place left untouched, and ran back out with a bag. "Here, I made you a first aid kit."

"No," said Sam trying to give it back. "No, Lucy…"

"Better do it," said Alli. "It'll make her feel better."

Sam sighed and too the bag. "Thanks, Lucy."

Lucy nodded and stepped back. Alli hugged her and Lucy leaned into her partner's touch. Sam said farewell to his team and turned to see Dean talking softly to bed. Sam could tell Dean didn't know how to be a father, constantly walking on eggshells around Ben and treating Ben more like one of his soldiers then his son, but whatever Dean was doing was working. Ben looked up to Dean as the father figure he's supposed to be. Sam was glad to see a father and son doing so well.

Dean put a comforting hand on Ben's shoulder as they finished and walked over to Sam.

"Ready?" he asked.

"As I'll ever be," said Sam.

Lucy hugged Sam and then Dean. Sam shook hands with each member of his team and Castiel. He paused in front of Alli and glanced at Lucy. He hugged her.

"She loves you," he whispered in her ear.

"I know," she whispered back. "When this is over…"

"I'll think about it," he said. "I'll answer when I get back."

They drew away and Alli nodded. "Thanks."

"Sam," called Dean, telling Sam it was time to go. Sam looked back one last time at his team.

"Sam." Sam turned to Chuck. He looked up at Sam, then at Dean and back at Sam. "I approve."

Sam stared at Chuck in shock. Did he know about him and Dean? Dean said Chuck was a prophet, do did he know what would happen before they did, and he approved?

"Sam!"

"Coming!"

Sam ran to the jeep, one of the few vehicles that survived the attack, and jumped in beside Dean. They drove out of the ruined camp.

They drove the day away, watching for tracks and signs of recent human activity. The only time they stopped was to find tracks. There was no hand holding, no stolen kisses and no words of endearment. Both were serious as they rode in silence.

They stopped at dusk to set up a meager camp, making a fire and cooking a small meal over it. Their pillows would be their bags and their blankets their coats.

"I think Chuck knows about us," said Sam saying the first words of the whole day.

"Possibly," said Dean.

"And he approves."

Dean looked up in surprise. "Really? That's interesting?"

"Why?"

"Chuck always knew what you did and said countless time to kill you." Sam winced. Dean leaned over seriously. "But I never even considered it. A man deserves a second chance, no matter what he's done."

Sam smiled up at him gratefully. Dean reached over and cupped Sam's face. The single simple act was enough to make Sam's skin burn.

"I want to kiss you, Sam," said Den softly. Sam chuckled and tilted his head toward him.

"Then what's stopping you?"

Next second Sam was engulfed by Dean, falling to the ground but Sam didn't care. Dean's touch. Dean's smell. Dean's lips. Everything about Dean made Sam burn. Sam didn't care if he was a virgin to having sex with another man. He wanted Dean in every way possible, and from the erection he felt against his hip, he knew Dean did too.

"Please, Dean," he gasped as Dean kissed down his neck. Dean looked up at him in surprise.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "You've never…"

"I want you, Dean," said Sam cupping Dean's face in his hands. "If not now than when? We might die tomorrow…"

"Don't plan on it."

"But we might. Both of us, someday, will die, and I want to spend one night with you." He leaned up and licked Dean's bottom lip. Dean's face flushed more and moved to kiss Sam but Sam pulled away. "At night, I would wonder, 'Would I dream about the man who saved my life?' I've waited, months, years, to see you again. I wanted to see you again, because I fell in love with you."

Dean looked down at Sam in shock and Sam could see the wonder in his eyes. He also saw something he never thought he'd see from Dean. Love.

"I love you, too," he said and Sam's heart skipped a beat. He sighed in relief and kissed Dean's chin. "Always have, since I held you as a baby. You looked at me then like you do now, like I'm the only person in the world. It was in that moment I fell in love with you, and again each time I saw you. I kept looking for you, hoping you were alive and afraid you were dead. It was because of Bobby I stayed sane, and when the Apocalypse came, I broke. I thought, without a doubt, that you were dead, and if it weren't for Chuck and Castiel I would be too. I was needed. I was needed to find you again."

Sam kissed Dean breathless, catching at whatever he could, which was Dean. His fist clutched Dean's shoulder and his fingers threaded through Dean's hair. He felt Dean's hands slide down his sides, the touch searing him through his shirt. Dean jerked the shirt from Sam's jeans and Sam moaned at the feel of Dean's hands caressing up his stomach. Dean's hands went up Sam's chest and he palmed Sam's nipples. Sam gasped and Dean went to kissing Sam's neck.

"Shirt. Off. Now," ordered Dean and Sam was more than happy to obey. He was burning up and Dean's touch was the cure.

Dean pulled away to take off his shirt and Sam too the opportunity to take his off. Dean covered Sam again, kissing and nipping down Sam's neck and chest. Sam's breath hitched with each gentle bit and when Dean licked Sam's nipple Sam gasped and arched into Dean's touch. He needed to grab hold of something and the only thing he could hold onto was Dean. He grabbed Dean's shoulders and bucked against Dean's hip when it brushed against his erection.

"Dean," he gasped as if in prayer.

"Shhh," said Dean softly. Dean leaned up and kissed Sam, who eagerly kissed him back and moaned when Dean cupped him. "Good things come to those who wait."

Sam groaned when Dean's hand left him and arched as Dean undid his jeans. Slowly Dean took off Sam's pants, caressing Sam's skin as he did. He unties Sam's shoes and takes them off as well as Sam's socks. He takes off Sam's pants and goes back up to kiss him. His thumb runs along the waistband of Sam's underwear and Sam groans.

Sam felt Dean's arousal against his hip and remembered that Dean was giving Sam all the attention. Shifting his weight, he threw Dean on the ground and lay on top of him.

"Sam," said Dean in surprise. Sam smiled down at him.

"Let's see how this works," he said.

He learned down and kissed Dean, cupping his face between his hands and rubbing his thumb against Dean's cheek. Dean moaned into the kiss and moaned louder when Sam rubbed his crotch against Dean's.

"God, Sam!" he gasped when he was able to breathe. He grabbed Sam's ass and rubbed his erection against Sam's as Sam kissed and sucked Dean's neck. "Pants."

"Need to go," agreed Sam.

He reached down and undid Dean's pants, amazed at his confidence at sleeping with another man. Dean helped with taking off his pants, shoes and socks, leaving only his underwear. Dean's erection pressed against his thigh, making him shudder and carefully pressed his thigh against it. Dean moaned and bucked against him.

Sam stared down at Dean's erection pressed against his underwear. He should be scared, terrified, but seeing Dean like this only made him shudder in anticipation.

"Sammy, you okay?"

Sam looked up and saw the worry in Dean's eyes, worry that Sam would get scared and run. He smiled down at Dean and nipped his lower lip.

"Better then okay," he said.

Through the cotton he nipped and kissed Dean. Dean hissed and grabbed hold of Sam's hair carefully holding his groin against Sam's mouth.

"Sam, please…"

Sam knew what Dean wanted, recognizing the tone he himself would use when he wanted to be completely naked. Taking the underwear he pulled it completely off. Dean moaned as his cock came completely free.

Sam stared in amazement at Dean's cock. It was throbbing red and leaking precum. Carefully he took Dean in his hand and Dean's hips jerked. Sam licked his lips as he stared at the bead of precum on the tip, wondering what Dean would taste like.

"Sam," said Dean noticing Sam's hesitation. "You don't have to…"

"I want to," said Sam.

Sam took the lead in his mouth and Dean's hips jerked in response. Sam licked the precum of the head and moaned at the taste. It was salty and exactly like Dean. Sam loved it.

He took the rest of Dean in his mouth and moaned when Dean's taste exploded in his mouth. Dean moaned and tried to thrust into Sam but held him down. He slowly sucked at Dean's cock. He knew his technique was amateur but Dean moaned in pleasure above him all the same.

"Sam, if you don't stop I'm going to come." Sam left Dean's cock and the next thing he knew he was on his back with Dean pressed against him. Sam looked up at him in surprise but Dean leaned down and lightly kissed him. "Fucking amazing, Sam. You have a talented mouth."

"Still have some things to learn," said Sam pressing his arousal against Dean's hip. Both moaned. "Want to teach me?'

In answer, Dean ripped off Sam's underwear and took Sam without warning. Sam cried out in surprised pleasure and grabbed Dean's shoulders.

"God, Dean," he said when Dean licked up Sam's cocked and licked the tip. Sam wanted to move but he couldn't. Dean's mouth and hand held him down. "Dean, I need…"

But he didn't know what he needed. All thought left when Dean engulfed him and hummed, pressing his tongue against Sam's aching cock. Sam cried out and arched half off the ground, Dean's hand still holding him down.

"God, Dean, please!" he pleaded, hoping Dean would figure out what Sam needed. Dean's heat left him and he blinked in confusion. "Dean?"

"Can't work without this," said Dean holding up a bottle. Sam noticed it was the lotion Lucy uses to soften the stitches. Dean set close to Sam but didn't press against him, giving Sam a chance to run. "You want this?"

Sam fell in love with the man all over again. Even in the throes of passion Dean gave Sam a choice. Sam reached over and squeezed the hand holding the lotion.

"More than anything," he said.

Dean's face lit up and he put a handful of the lotion in his hand. He reached down to Sam's entrance and slowly circled the ring of muscle.

"It'll hurt," he said. "You'll have to bear with me."

Sam nodded, putting his hands on Dean's shoulders for support.

"I'm ready."

Dean pressed one finger in and Sam instantly tensed at the intrusion. He felt Dean's finger in him and he instinctively clenched around it, stopping the intrusion. He heard Dean whispering in his ear encouragingly. His other hand trailed down Sam's stomach and took Sam's erection in his hand. The sudden burst of heat made Sam forget about Dean's preparation and the rest of the finger slid in. Sam moaned as he felt Dean's finger stretch him.

"That's right, Sammy, I got you," said Dean and slid another finger in. Sam moaned and bucked against the fingers, wanting to feel more. Needing more.

Sam cried out when he felt a shock go through him and nearly came. He heard Dean laugh.

"Dean, please now," he begged needing to feel Dean fill him. He felt Dean's fingers leave him and he blunt tip of Dean's cock against his entrance. He moaned in anticipation.

Dean leaned down and kissed Sam softly.

"Waited so long," he said. "Going to savor it."

Sam moaned at the tone in Dean's voice. Like Sam as a precious possession. The way he held Sam, like he was amazed Sam was in his arms, wanting him, was nothing short of disbelief.

Sam shifted and felt the tip against his opening. He pressed it further in and both moaned.

"No one else," he said. It was a promise. No one else would make Sam feel this way or take him this way. Only

Dean slowly pushed into Sam, stroking Sam with each thrust. Sam could feel the pain at the intrusion and the pleasure of Dean stroking him. He clutched tightly to Dean's shoulders like an anchor. He kept still, afraid to move the wrong way and hurt Dean. He gasped when Dean hit his prostrate again.

Finally Dean was fully sheathed inside Sam. He moaned above him and Sam stayed still to adjust to Dean being inside him.

It was amazing! He never realized what he had been missing till Dean was fully inside him. The feeling of being completely filled he didn't even feel with Jessica.

He looked up at Dean and saw the worry in the other man's face, his lover's face. A sheen of sweat covered Dean from the force of will that kept him from moving. Smiling Sam wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, gasping when Dean slide in deeper.

"Move."

Dean did, in long slow thrusts. It was incredible. The feel of the weight on top of him and Dean's thickness inside him. He loved it. Most of all, he loved the look on Dean's face as he took Sam with great care, as if being inside him was enough.

Sam reached up and touched Dean's face.

"You're beautiful," he said.

"So are you, Sam," said Dean leaning down and kissing the corner of Sam's mouth. "So beautiful."

Sam moaned when Dean hit his prostrate and hugged Dean close to him, their bodies fitting perfectly together. Dean moaned above him and when he hit some spot again, Sam came so heard he cried out. Dean bit down on Sam's shoulder as he came and Sam moaned, coming harder than the first time. He felt Dean come inside him and held onto him as Dean shuddered above him. Dean panted above and used to last of his strength to fall next to Sam instead of on top of him. Sam ran his hand down Dean's sweat slicked side and kissed his shoulder.

"Thank you," he said.

Dean looked at him curiously.

"For what?" he asked.

"For showing me I'm not alone."

Dean softly smiled and tenderly kissed him.

**TBC**

-"Fire in the Night" is a song sung by Alabama.


	21. Chapter 21

**This chapter is rated R**

**Chapter 21: Inception**

Sam woke sore but wonderfully so. He was curled up against a warm body and a hand soothingly ran down his side. He moaned softly when the hand slide down his side to his hip. The body above him softly laughed.

"Morning," said Dean. "Been asleep a while."

"How long?" asked Sam yawning.

"Hour till dawn. I woke up hours ago."

"You should have woken me." Sam moved to stretch and not hit Dean. Sam saw the lust flash through Dean's eyes and he smirked. "You were watching me the whole time?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

Sam was never self-conscious about his body, proud of it in fact, and the thought of Dean admiring him was very appealing to him. He found he like that Dean admired him.

"No," he said smiling. "Do it anytime you want."

Dean smiled back and kissed him. Sam moaned into it. He could spend the whole day kissing Dean. He loved the feel of dean's lips on his. The taste of Dean in his mouth. Everything about Dean was intoxicating.

He moaned when his hard on came in contact with Dean's leg and gasp when Dean cupped him.

"Dean, the family…"

"They won't be up for a while, but you're right. We can't be long."

Dean left his lips and Sam gasp loudly when Dean took him in his mouth. The feel of Dean's mouth wrapped around his erection was incredible. He reached down and threaded his fingers through Dean's hair, massaging the scalp. Telling Dean how much he enjoyed it.

"Dean…" he moaned.

Dean hummed around him in answer and Sam groaned. It was the licking that did Sam in. Dean's tongue licked up the back of Sam's cock and took Sam in his mouth again, wrapping his tongue around Sam and swallowed

"Dean!"

Dean moaned as he tasted Sam and Sam shuddered beneath him as he climaxed in Dean's mouth. Dean drank him up like a dying man and that made Sam love him even more. He collapsed on the blanket, spent and panting. He hadn't come so hard in his whole life. Dean pressed a loving kiss to Sam's thigh before sliding up and kissing Sam's lips. Sam moaned at the taste of himself and felt Dean's erection press against his hip.

With new found strength and pushed Dean on his back. Dean moaned when Sam rubbed against his erection.

"Sam."

Sam just smiled down at Dean before sliding down to take Dean's cock in his mouth. Dean groaned and grabbed the blanket tightly in his fist. He felt Dean shudder under him as he continued to lick and tease. Sam hummed as he tasted Dean and looked up at his lover. Dean arched under him and looked down at Sam through hooded eyes, his pupils dark with lust.

Sam licked up Dean's cock and Dean moaned Sam's name. Sam took him back in his mouth till he felt it in the back of his throat and swallowed.

"Sam!"  
>Sam nearly choked when he felt Dean explode in his mouth. A bit of cum escaped but Sam managed to catch most of it. When he looked up at Dean his lover was on his back in a quivering mass. Sam wiped his mouth and chin with his thumb and licked it. Dean moaned as he watched him. Sam smirked and lay down next to him.<p>

It was strange. He should be disgusted with being with Dean but for some reason he was far from it. For the first time in a long time he felt at peace.

"You're amazing, Sammy," he said holding Sam in his arms.

Sam chuckled. "You're pretty amazing too, Dean."

Dean laughed. "Amazing? I'm awesome."

Sam laughed and agreed. Dean was awesome. They lay together on the blanket for as long as they could till the coming down forced them up. They dressed, packed camp, loaded the jeep and headed out.

Words were hardly spoken as they tracked the family. Sam was surprised by how comfortable he was with Dean, and from Dean's expression, he felt the same. The radio softly placed music from a cassette as they listened for any sign of civilization.

It was around noon when Sam picked up life. With his powers he reached out fir any sign of human life and he felt something that had intelligence.

"Wait, stop," he said.

Dean immediately slammed on the brakes and the jeep lurched to a stop.

"You see something," he asked.

"I sense something," said Sam and pointed down a dirt road. "There."

"You're using your powers?"

"This one comes on and off. Comes in handy through."

"You sure there's something there?" asked Dean, still skeptic

"I feel something there. Feels human."

Dean paused in though before turning down the road Sam indicated. They drove for another three miles, going to where Sam pointed till Sam told him to stop again.

"What now?" asked Dean parking the car.

Sam grabbed his travel bag.

"Now we walk."

Shrugging Dean grabbed his bag and followed Sam down the road. They walked for half a mile to a large farm, the driveway stretching a half mile to a white farm house. They got as close as they could, hiding behind a fence row.

"Is that them," asked Sam.

"Can't you tell?" asked Dean digging into his pack.

"I can only tell that they're human, not who they are. Not from this far away."

Dean smirked and pulled out a sniper scope from his pack.

"Not infallible, that power of yours," he said.

"A damn annoyance is what it is, but it comes in handy sometimes."

"Yes, it does," said Dean with a suggestive look. Sam smirked back with the same thought. "And this is where human ingenuity comes in." Dean holds up the scope and looked through it for a minute. "Cars, tents, animals, it's them. Looks like they're squatting for a while."

"What's the game plan," asked Sam.

"Twenty against two. I don't like those odds." Dean thought for a moment before turning to Sam. "What all can you do with your powers?"

Sam looked at him in surprise. "You want me to use them on a person? Dean, that's one thing I don't do…"

"Not harm. Just scare. I want to show them we're serious."

"I know a few tricks. A few flash-bangs, though I prefer subtly."

Dean nodded. "Good. Then let's go."

They walked back to the Jeep and drove down the road. They drove up to the startled family. The woman grabbed their children and moved them away as the men walked to them. Sam and Dean got out of the car and held their hands up in surrender. Rob walked up to them.

"What is the meaning of this?" he asked. "Why are you here?"

"Loved the present, Bib, but you left without saying goodbye," said Dean. "We're here to talk about the destruction of our compound. Nothing else."

"We don't want to hurt anyone," said Sam as the men took away their weapons. The man checking Sam reached for his bone handled knife and Sam grabbed his hand. "I'd rather have that with me, thank you."

"All weapons will be returned once you're gone," said Rob. The man reached for the knife again.

"I wouldn't push it," said Dean. "He's attached to that knife."

The man reached for it again. Again Sam grabbed his wrist and this time twisted it.

"Seriously," he said turning to Rob and pushed. "Back off."

Rob got the lazy look everyone did when Sam pushed them.

"Very well," he said. "The knife can stay."

"We want to talk about why you destroyed the camp," said Dean.

"I have no idea…"

"Over two hundred people are dead!" yelled Dean. "The night we gave you safety our camp was destroyed! My son nearly got killed, and I want to know why?"

"I still have no idea what you're talking about," said Rob.

"Sam," said Dean under his breath.

Nodding, Sam walked up to Rob and looked him straight in the eyes with a smile.

"How about we go into the house and talk," he said suggestively with a push. "Take a couple of guards if you want. A more comfortable environment will do us a lot of good."

"Yes, of course," said Rob. "Phillip, Jeff, with me. Everyone else, back to work. Come, we'll be more comfortable at the house."

Rob turned and walked toward the white house. Sam turned and smirked at Dean as the man joined him.

"Have you ever used your mind control thing on me," asked Dean, a little worried, in a low tone.

"You mean my push?" asked Sam with a laugh. "No, too strong willed."

The truth was Sam didn't want to push Dean. He liked Dean's comebacks and comedic personality. Even Dean was being annoying Sam liked him that way. He wouldn't change it for anything.

"Seriously?" asked Dean surprised. Sam smiled at him.

"What? You want me to push you?"

The face Dean made had Sam laughing softly as they followed Rob up to the house. Phillip and Jeff behind them.

The walked up the porch and into the house. The interior was nice. Blue furniture, blue flower wallpaper and decorated plates line the shelves. It reminds Sam of a grandparent's house.

Rob led them to the dining room and turned to Phillip and Jeff.

"Wait in the living room till I call you," he said.

"But, Rob…." started Jeff.

"Go," said Rob sharply.

Reluctantly, Phillip and Jeff left. Half a wall blocked the view enough for Sam to lean close to Rob and trance him again.

"You will answer every question honestly," he said.

"Of course," said Rob with a slack expression.

"Now, the guards," said Dean.

Sam nodded and walked into the living room. Phillip and Jeff stood with their weapons in hand.

"Everything is fine," he said with a slight push. "We're just talking. Nothing is wrong."

"We understand," they said in unison.

Nodding Sam walked back in as Dean started questioning Rob.

"Why did you bomb our camp," he asked.

"We were told to," he said mesmerized.

"By who?"

"Roy Williams."

Sam and Dean looked at each other in surprise. Sarge had caught up with people so quickly? They thought that after exiling Sarge and his group wouldn't meet people for a couple of months at least, but they didn't think they'd cause trouble so quickly, or find people to take them in.

"What did he say about the camp?" asked Dean.

"That there was an evil there that needed to be purged. He said he'd give us access to food and shelter."

"What kind of evil did Roy say was in the camp," asked Sam. Dean looked at him and could see the worry on Sam's face.

"He said the evil was in the form of a man who's close to the leader. He told us the man was controlling the camp to let the evil inside roam freely."

Sam's face paled as Rob described him. Dean saw the looked and touched Sam's shoulder.

"Don't worry," he said. "You're no controlling me in any way."

"I know," said Sam. "I still don't know why he hates me so much. Even before he knew about my abilities he's hated me."

"I thought it was because he was testing you."

"No. I could tell. He wanted to kill me."

Dean turned to Rob. "How did Roy know there was evil in the camp?"

"He could see it even if the others were blind. He was exiled for trying to rid the evil in the camp and asked for our assistance in return of food and a safe haven from the hellspawns."

"And where is this safe haven?" asked Sam.

"Lawrence, Kansas."

Sam turned to Dean in shock as Dean shot out of his seat and Sam grabbed at Dean's arm to stop him from grabbing Rob. Dean gave Sam a sharp look which Sam returned with one of his own. Defeated, Dean sat back down.

"Where are Roy and his group now?" he asked.

"Meeting us there."

Dean shot up and grabbed Rob by his shirt before Sam could stop him.

"I swear to God if you hurt a single person…."

"Dean, stop, he's hypnotized," said Sam grabbing the man's arm. "He can only tell us answers to questions he knows the answer to. Threatening him won't tell us something he doesn't know."

Growling Dean let Rob go and walked out of the room. Sam turned to Rob.

"We had a nice conversation and you apologized for destroying our camp. In two days you will go to Lawrence and go to the leader named Lisa. Understood?"

"Understood," said Rob before blinking and shaking his head. "What happened?"

"Dean left because he's still angry at your attack," explained Sam as Rob looked around confused.

"I did? It's a blur…"

"I better go check on him."

"Of course," said Rob still confused. He would be for a minute before Sam's suggestion sunk in.

Sam left the house and found Dean at the Jeep, glaring across the field to the family working on laundry and meals. Sam joined him and leaned against the Jeep with him.

"I've known the man five years," said Dean. "Five years! And the whole time he never did something like this. I knew he wanted my position because of his military status but I never thought…"

"People don't make sense," said Sam "That's why I stick to monsters. I can understand them."

"You're not a monster, Sam. Monsters kill for the thrill of it. People kill for a boat loud of shit reasons. Money, insanity, anger, jealousy…"

"Survival?" asked Sam. Dean looked at him sincerely.

"And love."

Sam ducked his head to a hide a blush. Dean put a finger under his chin and forced him to look up at Dean again.

"You're cute when you blush."

That made Sam blush more. Chuckling, Dean pushed off the Jeep and headed to the driver's seat.

"We need to get to Lawrence," he said.

"Right," said Sam and got into the passenger side. Dena started the Jeep and the drove out of the farm.

**TBC**

-"Inception" is a move with Leonardo DeCaprio


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22: The Exorcist**

If it wasn't for the urgency, Sam would be complaining about Dean's driving. He tore down the road at full speed, not pausing for anything and quickly dodged jackknifed vehicles. Sam just held on for dear life as Dean's held a death grip on the steering wheel. A few times Sam was nearly thrown off if not for his grip and seat belt. Dean made grabs at him a few times, as if scared Sam would fall off the car but so far Sam stayed on.

The ride was silent the whole way to Lawrence. Not even Dean's rock music played through the radio. Out of both of them, Sam was the only one mildly keeping it together. He was worried about his friends like Dean, but Dean was even more so, possibly due because he's the leader of the group and that his son was among them.

It took them less time to reach Lawrence given how fast Dean was driving. Sam managed to stretch their food rationing for a day by mentally locating animals for them to eat and digging up vegetables in abandoned farms. Dean drove from sun up to sun down till they reached Haven Camping Grounds.

Dean parked the jeep a mile away before both got out and snuck up to the main ate. There they saw two men standing on guard. Sam recognized them as one of the people that left with Sarge. Dean turned to Sam.

"Are they in there?"

"Oh yeah," said Sam. "Sarge, he's holding everyone hostage. He's separated the kids from the parents." He pauses for a moment. "He feels wrong."

"Wrong? How?" asked Dean.

"I don't know. Familiar and yet wrong."

"That doesn't sound good," he said.

"It isn't." He turned back to the gate, the only entrance that he could see. "How do we get in? I don't see any other entrance."

"Follow me," said Dean and snuck away. Sam followed.

Dean led Sam a mile away from the camp and deep into the woods. He led Sam to a creek bed. All around Sam could see were trees and brushes. There was a large briar bush but other than that there was nothing that could help them get into the camp.

Then Dean pulled out leather gloves from one of the duffle bags they were carrying, pulled them on and grabbed the briar bush.

"Dean, what…"

Dean pulled back the push to reveal a tunnel high enough for the height of an average man. He looked at Dean questioningly.

"Lisa and I had this dug the first year the camp was established," he said. "Just in case the Croats attacked and got through. Everybody knows about it. This leads directly to the camp. There are several diverts, one to the farm house and the other to the barn. More than likely they're all guarded as well but it's the only other way in."

"Let me go first, I'll let you know."

Dean nods.

"All right."

Sam walked in first, having to bend just to get in the tunnel. Couldn't they have made the tunnel bigger, but then they were working on a time limit and limited resources. He was lucky he could move. Dean pulled out flashlights and handed one to Sam. Turning it on both walked silently down the tunnel.

They walked for a long time since the camp was miles long and there were many turns. Dean gave him direction and they continued toward the main house. They stopped several times for breaks but Dean didn't want to stay too long and they set off again after a couple of minutes.

Finally they came to a ladder and Sam looked up to see a wooden trap door above them.

"The main house?" he asked.

"Yeah. Can you sense anyone up there?"

"I sense people around, but not in the main house. It may be booby trapped."

"Wouldn't put it past them. I taught them too much."

Turning off the flashlight, Sam pocketed it and climbed up the stairs. He reached the top and carefully pushed the trap door when he saw the wire.

"Oh shit," he said softly.

"What," said Dean hearing his curse.

"Booby trap." The trap door was open barely a crack and he knew if he continued to open it, the grenade that was more than likely attached to the trip wire would explode. "Got in wire cutters in that carpet bag of yours?"

Dean dug out a pair of wire cutters and handed them to Sam. Sam carefully inserted the cutters through the crack and cut the wire.

"Clear," he said. He handed Dean back the cutters and opened the trap door. He sensed no people in the room so he knew it was safe and the door opened to the main house store room.

Both Sam and Dean crawled out of the trap door, making as little sound as possible and crept to the door. It was slightly opened and through it they saw the parents and children on opposite sides of the room. Both parties watched terrified as Sarge and his followers walked between them. Lisa sat in the middle of the floor glaring defiantly at Sarge. Ben was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Ben," asked Dean worried.

"He's fine, Dean," said Sam. "They're keeping him the storehouse to control Lisa."

Dean sighed in relief.

"How are we going to get them out," he asked.

Before Sam could answer both were thrown through the door. A large man walked out and Sam briefly wondered out he got passed his abilities.

"Nice try on the hide and seek, Sam, but I had eyes on you a mile away," said Sarge. He leaned down and looked down at Sam. "Still don't recognize me? No? I'm hurt, Sam, but then it was a long time ago."

Sam looked at the man carefully. His light hair, blue eyes and the small scar on his brow. The face did ring a bell and if looked a little younger he could be from someone he remembered a long time ago.

"Duane Tanner?" he asked "Crater Lake, Oregon?"

Sarge, or Duane, laughed. "Thank you! You remembered!"

"But why? Why change names? Trick us?"

"Sam, what's going on?" asked Dean confused.

Duane laughed. "Ah, you didn't tell him. How cute."

"Duane, why are you doing this?!" asked Sam urgently.

"I think you understand why. Why was one teenage boy spared while everyone else ran rapid in the streets? Better question." Duane walked over to Sam, grabbed his hair and wrenched him to look straight into Duane's eyes. "How did you survive?"

Sam looked straight into Duane's eyes, searching for answers. That day at Crater Lake he had gotten infected, but was somehow immune to the virus. The other three survivors, Duane, Mark and Dr. Lee, were ready to kill him till they saw the streets were deserted. That distracted them enough to forget about Sam and he left them.

Now here was Duane, standing in front of him, alive and his eyes full on contempt.

"It wasn't my fault," he said. "I don't know how…"

"You're right, Sam," said Duane and his eyes turned completely ink black. "It wasn't your fault."

His eyes returned to normal and laughed at Sam's completely shocked look. He turned around and Sam looked over at Dean. The look on Dean's face confirmed Sam's suspicion. Dean saw it too.

"It was real easy, fooling Dean for five years," said Duane. "After Lucifer started hunting demons down we had to stay someplace. Killed if I went to Hell, killed if I went to Heaven, so that only left Earth. And of course I had to blend in, and I can't tell you how many times I wanted to kill you, Dean, but those two fucking do-gooders at your side prevented me to."

Dean glared up at him.

"And then you found little Sammy," said Duane grinning down at Sam. "Oh, it was priceless. You finding him, and then putting him into my squad! Oh, I loved it! Man, that push you gave me, not cool!"

Sam glared up at him, trying to get off the floor, but something kept him down. Duane kept him down.

"Now, I'm going to hand you over to Satan and get me and my followers amnesty, how does that sound? Maybe he'll let me keep a few hundred pet humans on the side."

"No, he won't," said Sam. "He'll kill you."

"Everybody can be swayed," said Duane with a shrug.

"Not him."

Duane still shrugged, as if he didn't care what Sam was saying.

"I'll even give him Dean," he continued. "Lucifer seemed very interested in him…"

"No!" yelled Sam. If Satan had Dean, Satan would kill him or worse.

"Oh, what's this I hear? Worry for the rebel leader? Is it possible you like him, Sam?" Sam glared in answer. "You do! You like him." Duane laughs. "Well, ain't that a hoot?!" He crouched and looked Sam in the eye. "It won't do any good. You'll be Satan's and he'll be dead."

Sam's power snapped inside him and Duane was thrown across the room. The power holding Sam and Dean down vanished and both stood.

"Dean, get everyone out of here," said Sam in warning. Dean didn't have to be told twice.

"Everybody out, now!" he yelled.

Everybody ran out, except for Duane and Sam facing each other off. Dean stayed in the door way watching Sam in case he needed any help.

"Come on, Sam, you think you can beat me?" said Duane in a taunting voice. "I'm a full demon. You're not even half. You couldn't even beat Lucifer."

Sam's anger snapped and he let loose his powers that he was holding back.

"You forgot one thing, Duane. Ruby."

Duane's eyes widened for only a moment before he gagged. His hand shot to his throat as if clawing an invisible force from choking him, but really he was trying to stay in. Sam mentally reached for the demon, dragged it out of Duane and Duane vomited the smoke out. He smoke spiraled on the ceiling, looking for a way to escape but Sam held it in and burned the smoke. There was a high pitch screech as the demon burned. Dean covered his ears against the sound.

Sam didn't let up his assault till the demon was nothing but ash. When he finished he looked at Dean standing in shock in the door way. Sam looked back worried. He never showed his full abilities to anyone. Not even Sam knew what all he could do.

Dean knew about Sam's abilities, but Sam was afraid to show anything more than parlor tricks. He didn't want to scare Dean off. Now he feared he had.

Dean walked toward him and Sam held his ground. He wasn't pulling out his gun so that was a good sign, but then Dean was more of a fists than gun man. He could still just as well punch Sam then shoot him, but right now Sam preferred the bullet.

Dean neared and Sam stiffened for the punch. But it didn't come. Instead Dean grabbed him by the shoulders and looked up at him concerned.

"Are you okay," he asked.

"Slight headache but that's normal from exorcising," said Sam looking at the now dead Duane Tanner. "Nobody messes with my friends."

He almost laughed at the thought. Friends? He'd never thought he'd have that again, or someone to care for as much as he does Dean. His life had been cursed and full of lucky chances. For a long while, he doubted the existence of God, but now maybe someone was watching out for him. Leading him here.

Dean laughed. "That's some trick you have. Where were you twelve years ago?"

Sam shrugged. "Around."

Laughing again Dean reached up and softly kissed him. Sam sighed pleasantly and kissed him back before they pulled away. Dean smiled up at him reassuringly.

"Come on. Let's go tell them the British went home."

Sam nodded and they walked outside.

Outside in the main camp the refugees gathered around, parents consoling spouses and children and lovers consoling each other. When Sam and Dean walked out there was a hush that went around the crowd.

Sam all but shook where he stood. He was fine with a few trusted people learning his secret. The last time his secret leaked out didn't go so well and he did not need another Gordon Walker out for his neck. Sam stood there, waiting for the crowd's verdict.

Finally Lucy, Alli and B Squad ran forward and Lucy threw her arms around Sam's neck. Sam hugged the woman who was as close to a sister as he could get and hugged Alli as well when she wrapped her arms around him. His team clapped him on the shoulder in greeting. Even Ben was there, a little roughed up but fine.

"Thank God, you got here," said Lucy pulling away. "We didn't know what to do."

"Is anyone hurt," asked Dean worried, mostly looking at Ben and Lisa.

"Everyone's fine," said Lisa reassuringly. "A few scrapes and bruises but otherwise okay."

Dean sighed in relief.

"Good," he said. He turns to B Squad. "Ethan, can you and your team clean up the mess in there? Take it out the back door."

"Yes, sir," said Ethan. "Let's get our asses in there."

The team nodded and walked into the main building.

"Are you hurt," asked Lucy doing an optical inspection of Sam and Dean.

"We're fine," said Sam, not wanting her to know of his headache unless it became worse. He learned early in his training he would have migraine if he overexerted himself.

"You sure," asked Lucy, always skeptical over the twos health.

"Only a slight headache but it's fine," said Sam reassuringly. "You need the medicine for people who are really hurt. I'll live."

Lucy sighed.

"All right," she said.

"Sam."

Sam turned to Lisa and froze at her indifferent look. The rest of the crowd looked up at him looks of awe or fear. Sam felt like he was in front of the Spanish Inquisition.

Lisa walked up the steps toward Sam and Sam stood his ground. This was Dean's ex-girlfriend, the mother of his son and the leader of the refugee camp. Her opinion was that with Dean's and if she decided he was gone, not even dean could overthrow that verdict.

"Lisa…" started Dean but Lisa held her hand up to silence him.

"I've heard the rumors, Sam, but not even I wanted to believe them," she said. "A human with demonic powers. I thought it was paranoia or hearsay but now…"

"Lisa…" started Dean again.

"I'm not finished, Dean. I'm still head of this camp or has that changed?"

Dean closed his mouth, but the worry was still evident on his face. Lisa turned back to Sam.

"And now I see that the rumors are true. You do have demon powers, and taken down a demon with them. So I guess I only have one thing to say."

Sam held his head. This was what he feared most. Being kicked out, and just after he found someone he connected to.

Dean's hand slid into his encouragingly and Sam held it tight. Dean didn't complain about his fingers getting rushed, just held on as tight.

"Thank you."

Sam looked up at her in surprise and saw her smile up at him.

"Thank you for saving us," she said.

Lucy cheered and hugged him. The crowd cheered. Sam stared at them with a mixture of shock and surprise. Dean smiled up at him proudly.

The rest of the crowd thanks and congratulated Sam as he walked down the stairs. After a minute of Sam being passed around to shake hands and be pounded on the back Lisa called the group to order and sent teams to straighten the camp. Dean ordered the squads to sweep the perimeter and to help the campers in any way.

Sam walked around the camp, lending help to Lucy and Alli as they cared for the injured. Very few of the civilians were but the soldiers hand been roughed up pretty badly. Sam wrapped bandages and handed out cold compresses. He couldn't heal any of them but he could suppress their pain for a short time and always with permission. A lot were reluctant, afraid of his power but also knowing he wasn't out to hurt them. The ones in the most pain readily agreed and he suppressed their pains, but with extreme warnings to not move around much. He had suppressed their pain not cured them, he said. Some listened and some tried to move before being pushed back down by the nurses before they hurt themselves again.

Luckily there were few things to clean up and most of the repair work had gone underway. The place looked out of a war zone. Sam helped out with those as well, hammering in nails and holding up boards. He used his levitation to keep the boards up because of the weight and no one notice. This was how he used his powers. Subtly, without notice. It was the way he liked it and continued to do so.

That night over dinner Lisa told Dean and Sam how Duane had captured the camp. The soldiers had arrived the night before Duane did. The fact he was a demon became obvious after they let him through the iron gates. He tossed the soldiers around like paper and ordered everyone in the main cabin where they waited, separating the parents from the children to instill fear in them. Lisa was kept apart from the main group and Ben had been kept in a storage shed, tied and under guard to ensure Lisa's cooperation. They waited for hours before Sam and Dean arrived and took down the demon.

"I'm just surprised it was Duane," said Sam. "He seemed like a nice kid."

"You knew him," asked Lisa and Sam nodded.

"Once, a long time ago."

"He may have been, but the demon wasn't," said Dean. 'He rode that kid hard for how long?"

"Eleven years."

"Shit!"

Sam nodded. Duane riding shotgun with a demon for eleven years, and he was barely seventeen when Sam met him, was the worst thing Sam cold think of. The real Duane might have been killed long ago, nothing left but the shell for the demon to ride in. He had been possessed once, before Bobby got rid of the demon in him and he could tell anyone it was no walk in the park. He couldn't control anything, and he hated it. He remembered shout, clawing , anything to get the demon out of him and control over his own body but nothing worked till Bobby did the exorcism and burned the brand on his arm to expel the demon. He hurt like hell for a week afterwards be but was free.

"Thank you, Sam," said Lisa. "If not for you, we'd still be under that demon's unforgiving mercy."

Under the table, Sam felt Dean's hand slip into his and give him a confident squeeze. Sam squeezed it back and smiled at the two gratefully.

"Thanks for not kicking me out," he said.

"Hell, after saving my life, my camps, and my son's, why the hell should I kick you out?" said Lisa. She smiled fondly at him. "I know a bit of the Hunter world, Sam, and I heard a lot about you. Always on the move but willing to help anyone in trouble. That doesn't scream evil. You're a good person, Sam. Don't matter were your origins were. What matters is what you've become."

Sam was never more relieved to hear those words.

That night the soldiers of camp Chitaqua that didn't have family in the refugee camp were sleeping in the tent area. Sam and Dean shared a tent again. Their sleeping bags were on opposite ends of the tent of course but it was easy to slide the extra three feet and lay together.

"They like you, Sam," said Dean.

Sam smiled softly.

"Yeah, they do," he said.

Grinning, Sam curled up against Dean and he felt Dean wrap an arm around him before both fell asleep.

**TBC**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23: Joy to the World**

If Sam thought there would be tension between himself and the survivors, he was more than surprised that there were none. In the days that followed Sarge's death, people greeted him warmly, and was even given meals in gratitude. Sam thanked each person, and even took the meals, but gave them to members of his team. It didn't feel right for him to take from those he wants to help.

Dean's soldiers were forced to stay at the camp till they found a new base of operations. Both the refugees and soldiers didn't mind the arrangement and made themselves at home. Dean and Lisa worked together to assign chores and jobs for each member, to farming to hunting to patrol.

Dean and Sam got closer with each passing day. So far they kept their involvement with each other a secret not because of any prejudice but because they didn't want to rush into telling anyone. They would talk about everything in their lives before the Apocalypse, kiss and pet each other in the shadows of building or tents, and made love in their tent. Sam didn't think he could love a person as much as he loved Dean. He felt like he couldn't breathe without Dean holding him.

Three weeks before Christmas, a semi pulled into the camp with a large pine tree on a flat bed. It pulled to a stop in the middle of the camp and kids and parents walked out. Kids were cheering and adults were smiling. Sam had been playing catch with Sammy with the rest of the team when the big rig rolled in.

"What's this," asked Sam.

"The Christmas tree," said Sammy smiling up at his uncle. "The hunters bring in one and everybody decorates it."

"Do you give everyone presents?" asked Sam.

Sammy shook his head.

"No, no presents, but Chuck talks and Castiel prays and we all sing Christmas carols. And movies."

"Movies?" asked Sam.

Carl and Todd chuckled. Carl ruffled Ben's hair.

"Benny here raided a theater during one salvage hunt," he said. "Grabbed a projector, we rigged up a white sheet, hooked up the generator and every once in a while we have movie night."

"That sounds like fun." He looked at Sammy with a sad smile. "Be more fun with presents."

"Yeah," said Sammy sadly.

Using ropes, poles and pulleys, the workers erected the tree and started decorating it. The tree was at least twelve feet high, the highest ladder easily reaching the top. Lisa and Dean had two separate lines and were handing out ornaments so that people could put it on the tree without fights breaking out. Some people were singing carols as they did, with others joining in. Sam and Sammy got in line and Dean gave them both an ornament, Sammy a Christmas globe and Sam a Santa sleigh. Sam looked up at Dean inquiringly and Dean smirked, like it was a joke. Sam laughed softly and they walked up to the tree to hang it.

"Uncle Sam, I want to hang it up there," said Sammy pointing to a high branch.

"Sure, kiddo," said Sam and lifted the boy up to hand the globe. Sammy put the globe on the branch and Sam set him down to put the sleigh next to it.

"Come on, Uncle Sam," said Sammy pulling Sam to the team. For the rest of the day they played till Sammy fell asleep from exhaustion.

That night Sam and Dean got ready to sleep. A propane heater was the only source of heat. Despite the cold there was no snow on the ground. It disappointed Sam a bit. What was Christmas without snow?

"What are you thinking about, Sammy," asked Dean as he slid into the sleeping bag, his body heat slowly warming the roll.

"Sammy. Christmas," said Sam sliding in next to him. "He should have a proper Christmas."

"Ooh, you're cold," said Dean when Sam's cold body connected with his and he rubbed Sam's arm to warm it up. "You're right. He should have a proper Christmas. All those rugrats should."

"Forty degrees outside. Of course it's cold. We should have moved to Miami."

Dean chuckled.

"We'll do that next year," he said, then paused in thought. "What was your best Christmas?"

Sam chuckled.

"Swapping stories?" he asked before thinking. "I was thirteen. I told Dad two months before that I wanted this book on Greek mythologies. He never said a word on it so I thought he wasn't listening to me. I was staying with Pastor Jim at the time while Dad went off to hunt down a poltergeist. I didn't even know if he would be back for Christmas. Unlikely given his track record. I woke up Christmas morning and found Pastor Jim handing me presents. I got new clothes because I grew out of the ones I had, new books to read, a Gameboy. I was particularly happy at that. I was helping with the seniors that had no one for Christmas when my dad walked in holding that book. I was so shocked to see him there, Dad at Christmas that I just stood there. You know what he said to me?"

"What?" asked Dean.

"'Sorry I'm late'." Sam laughed. "That seemed to shock me out of it and I ran to hug him." He looked at Dean and smiles softly. "What about you? What's your best Christmas memory?"

Dean fell silent and Sam was afraid he pushed a bad memory onto Dean instead of a happy one.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to…"

"No, it's okay, Sam," he said. "It's just that all my best memories are with my mom before she died."

Now Sam felt like crap. Here they were having a nice conversation and stirred up bad memories in his lover.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Dean leaned up and kissed Sam softly.

"Don't be. It hurts to remember, but it's a small hurt now." He smiled at Sam. "Now how about if I warm you up."

Sam had no trouble agreeing to that and they fell in an exhausted blissful sleep afterward.

The days following Christmas was filled with a merriness that Sam hadn't seen in five years since he started the Apocalypse. Everywhere he looked he saw people in cheer, temporarily forgetting the danger outside the gate like on Thanksgiving. The hunters brought in more food and the kitchen aids pulled out the much precious sugar, flour and spices to make cookies.

There was also Christmas caroling throughout the days, even the twins were getting in it and were singing the most ridiculous carols Sam had ever heard. The campers were stringing lights around the trailers buildings and poles, lighting the lanes around the grounds.

Best of all was the way Sammy was singing and playing. Despite not getting any presents, Sammy was eager for Christmas to arrive.

On Christmas Eve the entire camp was in jubilation. The kitchen was baking cookies and the cold food, leaving the cooking for Christmas day. People were caroling around the streets as they did last minute preparations. Sam was with Sammy hanging ornaments onto the mess hall singing "Rudolf, The Red-Nose Reindeer" when the alarm sounded. Everyone immediately went into action, mothers grabbing kids, soldier grabbing weapons and running to shelters. There was some panicking but the drill was mostly organized.

"Uncle Sam," called Sammy terrified when a mother ran to collect him.

"Go with Suzie, Sammy," said Sam reassuringly. "I'll be back, I promise."

"I don't want to leave you," cried Sammy, tears running down his cheeks.

"I'll be fine, now go."

He pushed Sammy toward Suzie who picked him up despite the boy's protesting. Sam could hear his nephew's screams as he ran toward the gate and was handed a gun by Ethan. Sam loaded a mag, cocked it to load and went to Dean's side.

"What have we got?" he asked.

"A hoard of Croat," said Dean. "And right on Christmas Eve too."

"Then lets give them a present," said Carl cocking his gun.

The fence hummed as one of the technicians turned up the voltage and the soldiers waited for the Croats to appear. It wasn't uncommon for Croats to attack a camp. It happened at Chitaqua more than a couple of times and the soldiers had always managed to fight them off.

They heard the Croats before they saw them and Croats ran out of the woods all around the fence. The first few Croats that grabbed the fence made it spark and the creatures writhe in pain. It made the second wave pause as they watch their brethren scream and jerk as they were fried.

Sam watched disgusted. The smell of roasted pig filled the air. He felt like he needed to throw up but he held it in as he watched for any Croats that might slip past the fence. The rest of his team was tense beside him, holding tightly to their rifles and eyes darting to each Croat along the fence.

Sam took a glance at Ben, the young man tense and terrified. Sam tent a calming thought to him and he visibly saw Ben's muscles relax. Assured that he boy wouldn't freak out he turned back to the fence.

The Croats seemed to get the idea that the fence was a bad idea to run headlong into and ran away, which was a good thing because the fence could only take so long before it shorted out. A few grenades were thrown to scare away the straddlers and soon the area had been declared cleared but patrols were still set up in case the Croats decided to make a second attempt.

Sam handed his gun to one of the handlers and turned to Ben standing off a bit looking slightly freaked. He walked up to the young man and placed a hand on his shoulders. Ben jumped from the contact.

"You doing okay, Ben?' he asked.

"Yeah, I just never saw a person get fried like that. The smell…"

"Yeah, it's not an easy sight to get used to. Even trained professionals get disgusted by it. I know I do and I've seen everything gruesome under the sun."

"Really," asked Ben surprised. Then he laughed. "I guess that's true, my dad too."

"Oh, I'm sure I've seen some things your father hasn't, and I'm sure Dean saw some things I haven't. It's all part of being a hunter."

"I asked Dad to teach me, but he refused. He said he didn't want that life for me." Ben laughed dryly. "Look at us now. "

"Life doesn't always go the way we plan. What we can do is make the most out of what we got. Like Christmas. It's usually about giving gifts to those we love, but we can't do that anymore. Now, we're just thankful to be alive to see another Christmas."

"Yeah," said Ben scuffing his boot on the gravel. "I better find my mom before she freaks. See you later, Sam."

"Bye, Ben," said Sam as Ben walked away. He turned and saw Dean watching him with a smirk. Sam laughed nervously. "What?"

"Thanks for that," he said walking next to Sam and pressed against his side, the closest they got to PDA since they got together. "And for before. I saw what you did, helping him relax while the Croats became crispy critters. I know I couldn't reassure him the way you did."

"He's a lot like you, Dean," said Sam pressing against his lover. "He just needed to be reminded of it."

Dean smiled up at him and squeezed Sam's shoulder before walking off to oversee the camp. Sam went to collected Sammy, who refused to let go as soon as Sam was in his sight. Sam had to walk around camp the rest of the day with a six year old attached to his side.

That night, Sam set Sammy down on his cot just as Dean walked in. Dean stared at the boy curiously before looking at Sam.

"He refused to leave me alone," said Sam apologetically. "He thought I was hurt when I got back, and latched onto me he rest of the day. He wouldn't even play with his friends."

"That sucks," said Dean settling in his cot. "He'll be fine through. Just wanted to know that his favorite uncle didn't wind up as Croat chow."

Sam shoved Dean playfully and crawled into his cot with Sammy. Dean got into his and both curled up around the boy in the middle, providing protection and warmth.

The next morning they woke to the tent freezing and when Dean opened the tent flap they saw a blanket of white all around them.

"Snow," said Sam in amazement.

"It rarely snows on Christmas in Kansas," said Dean.

Smiling Sam turned to Sammy still sleeping bundled under the covers.

"Hey, Sammy, wake up and look at this," he said.

"Hmm, wha…" said Sammy waking up and fixing his gaze on Sam. "Uncle Sam, what is it?"

"Get up and see, bud," said Sam helping Sammy up, blanket and all.

"Whoa," said Sammy at the sight.

"What do you say, Sammy? Want to take your friends on in a snowball fight?"

"Yeah!" said Sammy excited.

They bundled Sammy up and after putting on layers of clothes to keep themselves warm they ran out to play. Fire pits had been lit all around the camp ground to keep the campers warm and the children ran around playing in the snow.

Sam and the team laughed and played with the children, playing snowball fights and making snow angels and snow men. Coffee and hot chocolate were served in the mess hall where most of the campers were playing board and card games. Sammy wanted to stay outside and play in the snow and who was Sam to say no to his nephew on Christmas.

Sam wasn't really paying much attention to what was around him when a snowball hit him hard on the head.

"Hey!" he said looking around to whoever threw it, and saw Dean smirking twenty yards away. Sam laughed. "Not fair, Dean!"

"All's fair in love and war, Sammy," said Dean laughing.

Sam balled up a large pile of snow and threw it at Dean. Over the next several minutes it became a personal war between the two men, throwing snowballs at each other. Both were laughing by the end of it, covered in snow from head to foot.

Exhausted both walked to the mess hall to warm up, Sam telling Ethan to keep an eye on Sammy. Dean got coffee and Sam took hot chocolate with a handful of the precious marshmallows saved in the food storage.

"I haven't had that much fun in a long time," said Sam smiling at Dean as he took a sip from his hot chocolate.

"Me too," said Dean smiling. "If I catch a cold from this, it would be worth it."

"Same here."

Dean smiled at him and the continued to drink and talk about past hunts and the similarities in their upbringing. They were so into their conversation that they didn't notice the team sneak up behind them till the twins shoved balls of snow down the back of their shirts. Both Sam and Dean yelped as the cold hit their backs and flayed around to get the snow out from their shirts. When they did they turned to their team mates laughing like hyenas but stopped when they saw the looks on their leaders' faces. It was a devious mischievous look.

"Get'em," said Dean and all of Squad B ran out as the entire mess hall laughed.

**TBC**

Happy Holidays, everyone!


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24: Paranormal Activity**

Winter came and went too slowly for the campers of Haven, and Dean's group soon found a new camp site in Kansas City. The leaving trip was followed by tears from the families and soldiers. They even added some new members, young men and women that were old enough to fight. Some parents protested their children leaving, but in the end most went.

It had become hard for Sam to leave Sammy. The little boy had become as much his son as his nephew. Sammy wailed when the Jeep pulled out and took Sam away from him, kicking his foster mother to get to Sam. Sam watched from the rearview window as Ethan drove the Jeep away.

The ride to Kansas City didn't take long. They set up camp in a camp ground just outside of the city. A perimeter had been set up and the entire place Croat proofed. The Impala was even managed to be hauled from the old camp to the new one, much to Dean's joyous relief.

Cabins were being built quickly and efficiently. The soldiers worked quickly to protect themselves from the elements that the army tents did not provide. The cabins were simple square boxes but efficient for keeping out the cold during the winter and giving shade in the summer.

The mess hall was made as well and the obstacle course had to be remade. Scavengers went into the city to sports stores and gyms to grab equipment so the soldiers were in top shape to fight. A field had to be plowed and seeded for food in the fall and hunters went out to find game.

At nights, Sam spent half of it with Dean making love or just talking. He would hurry back to his team before they woke up and found him missing. They weren't ashamed of their relationship. It was just that there was so much to that it didn't come up.

But there were times when Sam felt that he was losing Dean. Times when Sam saw a beautiful woman openly flirt with Dean and Sam's empathy got hit with full blown lust that he didn't know if it was the woman's or Dean's. Sam got hit on too, but respectively turned them down. He didn't know if Dean did. They weren't exactly exclusive, who was nowadays, but he didn't pry into his lover's mind when he wanted the truth about something. He let Dean tell him in his own time.

The times Sam spent with his friends was the only thing that Sam was relieved of any responsibility of squad leader. A filed had been cleaned to be used for football/soccer games. He would get roughed up and scraped which Lucy would later rant at him about, but his wide smile would stay plastered to his face.

It was a couple months into March that they noticed the decrease in Croat activity and the news elated the camp. Only Dean, Castiel, Chuck and Sam were still on alert. Hunters never took for granted the say "the calm before the storm."

That was how they found themselves in Dean's bunk, looking over a map of Kansas City. Red and green dots littered the paper, telling the four men which streets were safe and which were Croat filled. At the moment, there were more green than red. A good sign unless under these circumstances.

"Maybe they're finally killing each other off," said Chuck after a month of no Croat activity.

Dean paused in thought for a few seconds before turning to Sam.

"What about you, Sam?" he asked.

Sam had been sent on recon with Ethan a week ago and only just returned a couple days ago.

"I couldn't feel a single Croat within a mile of the city," said Sam. "There are group further in, but less than what I originally felt months ago. It's like with animals when a bigger predator moves in and all the smaller creatures hightail it out of Dodge."

"What bigger predator?" asked Castiel.

Sam shrugged.

"Who knows? Wendigos? Rugarus? Okami? Vampires wouldn't go after the Croat's tainted blood."

"Whatever they are we'll have to thank them before exterminating them," said Dean. "Cas, I want you to start organizing teams. Half of the squads. The other half stays here and protects camp. Find out what the hell's scaring the locals. No horsing around either. I don't want to go back to Haven to tell some wife or parent their kid died of idiocy."

The three nodded. Castiel and Chuck left as Sam stayed, looking at Dean as the other man leaned over the maps. He could feel the tension in Dean's and on his body. Standing Sam walked behind Dean and placed his hands on his lover's shoulders.

"Stop thinking," he said.

"I can't, Sam. I have to figure out…"

"Not as tense as you are now. Now stop thinking and lean back."

Sighing, Dean did. It took all he had to tear his gaze away from the maps, lean back and let Sam massage his shoulders. As Sam massaged he sent a tendril of ease into Dean's mind. Dean moaned and Sam felt his muscles relax.

"Better?" he asked.

"Mmm, much," said Dean with a loopy smile. "You have magic fingers."

Sam laughs.

"I've been told that," he said dipping down to kiss Dean's neck. Dean moaned in pleasure and tilted his head to give Sam more access.

"Careful," said Dean. "Attention like that will get you attention."

Sam hummed in pleasure at the thought.

"I could work with that," he said licking the shell of Dean's ear and grinned when he felt his lover shiver. "But later. We got work to do."

Dean groaned in irritation but he knew Sam was right. They would be able to play later. Sighing Dean rolled his shoulders, stood and lightly kissed the corner of Sam's mouth.

"You're right," he said. "We'll continue this later."

Sam smirked up at him. He wanted to continue with the massage as much as Dean.

"I'll hold you to that," he said. He gave Dean a short leisurely kiss before grabbing his jacket and walked out.

Sam walked to the ball field where his squad was playing soccer with another squad. There was a crowd of people watching and shouts on which side was winning. Personally, Sam was betting on his squad.

Suddenly Ben kicked the ball to pass it to Todd and it sailed out and Sam caught it before it hit him in the face. With a sheepish look, Ben ran over to retrieve it.

"Sorry, Sam," he said.

"You're kicking too hard," said Sam. "If you're trying to punt, kick it with the heel of your shoe, not the toe."

"Sure, thanks, Sam," said Ben and kicked the ball back into to play.

The next time Ben punted the ball, he tried it out as Sam instructed and it rolled easily to Carl and they scored. Sam cheered with the rest of the squad B supporters. They won the came a few rounds later. They went to the newly constructed mess hall to eat lunch and celebrate.

"It's great that everything's so peaceful and a little bit normal," said Lucy as they ate. "It's good to not have Croats knocking every five minutes."

"I know what you mean," said Alan. "I feel like a sloth without anything to do."

"I know," said Carl sliding across the table, nudging Ethan's and Alan's tray. "I have never been so bored!"

"Me too," said Todd next to him.

Normally, the team would be worried. A bored Carl and Todd were a bad combination and liable to pull a prank or two. So far there haven't been anyone running our of the showers screaming about blue hair or water falling on unsuspected victims in entrance ways, but the rest of the team were ever on alert.

It was near dinner time when Sam felt a shiver down his spine and nausea in his gut. It made him want to throw him. It was a feeling he hadn't had for a long time. Even after six years he knew what the feeling meant.

Dropping the bucket of metal he was holding to take to the armory and melt down into bullets he ran toward Dean's cabin. Throwing open the door he ran in. Dean turned to him from the table.

"Sam, what the fuck…?"

"Demons," he said panting. Dean looked at him in shocked surprise.

Then a yell sounded across the camp. Dean grabbed his gun and Sam unsheathed his knife. They ran outside.

And into pandemonium. Soldiers ran left and right to either fight or escape the demons walking through the camp as if in some kind of death march. Demons were flinging humans left and right or killing them instantly.

Sam instantly put a shield around as many as he could. He wasn't strong enough for all of them but he could at least save a few.

The demons caught on real quick that someone was deflecting their attacks and a few turned to Sam. Sam lifted his knife, ready to fight.

Three came at Sam and Sam dodged their charge. They tried to throw him but Sam deflected it and threw it right back at them. Two deflected but one took the brunt of the attack and sailed over fifty feet. The two charged at Sam. He dodged one and stabbed the other in the chest, right in the heart. The demon gasped as sparks flashed throughout its body. Sam pulled the knife out as more demons surrounded him, probably hoping to beat him with their combined powers.

He smirked.

"You really think all of you can stop me," he said before is irises turned ink black.

He tapped into his power his power and pulled the demons from the bodies. The demons around him gagged and choked as Sam pulled them out. A pounding headache started to form but Sam ignored it. He felt his nose start to bleed but he ignored that also. Within a minute he had exorcised and disincarnated every demon around him. When Sam felt every demon gone and his power recede, he collapsed onto the ground and everything went black.

XXXXXXX

"I don't think we should tell him."

"Are you joking? Of course we tell him."

"Given how close they are…"

"It's either we tell him, or he blows stuff up. Do you want him to blow stuff up?'

"He's not going to blow stuff up."

"Like you said, given how close they are…"

Sam moaned, wishing the voices wouldn't talk so loud. Who were they talking about anyway? Him? Tell him what?

As he road the waves back to consciousness his mind played back to what happened. He replayed the demons attacking and him exorcising them. His last memory of Dean was of him charging toward a group of demons. Was Dean hurt? Was he hurt or worse?

Slowly he opened his eyes and looked up at the rafters of the infirmary. His vision was hazy but he could recognize it anywhere.

"Dean?"

Lucy came into view and Sam saw the worry on her face.

"Sam, how do you feel?" she asked.

"Like a herd of horses are tap dancing in my head. Where's Dean?"

Lucy picked up a penlight and shined it in his eye. He winced and turned away from the bright light that pierced through his headache.

"You had nosebleed coming in," she said. "Any other symptoms?"

"Just the headache." What was going on? Why didn't they tell him where Dean was?  
>"The demons are gone. You've been out for two days."<p>

Two days? It didn't feel like it but he didn't question her. Dean was probably with the troops consoling and reconstructing the camp.

Then his sense of empathy hit him. They were worried, but not about him. They were worried about someone else. Someone close to all of them.

"What's going on," he asked. "Who's hurt? What's wrong?"

Lucy looked worriedly at Carl before turning back to Sam.

"Sam, don't worry…" she tried to reassure but Sam could feel hers going through the roof.

"What is going on," he said fighting the urge to push them.

"Dean's been captured," said Carl. "They took Dean."

**TBC**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25: Resident Evil**

Sam groaned as he woke and tried to remember what had happened. There was a demon attack and he passed out after taking out so many demons at once. Then he was in the Medical Cabin and Lucy was treating him. He remembered Carl was there as well and he told Sam something. Something about Dean.

Of course, Dean was gone! Taken by the demons. Sam had fought against Lucy and Carl, determined to look for his lover when Lucy injected him with something and he passed out. By the headache, he was sure he had been out for a while.

Slowly Sam sat up and looked around. He was alone in the cabin, which was fine by him. By the alarm clock he guessed that he had been out for at least four hours. He was dressed only his boxer shorts and a white wife beater, his clothes folded on a chair nearby. His gun and knife was on the chair as well and his shoes were placed beneath the chair.

Grimacing from the pain in his head, Sam sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed his jeans. Ignoring the pain he pulled on his jeans, shoes and shirt.

He had just finished sliding his gun and knife along his belt when Lucy walked in. she looked at his dressed state and then at the weapons on his belt.

"You're going after him," she said.

"Nobody else is," he said. It was one of the rules Dean administered. Once taken the only way back was through a miracle. Not even Castiel and Chuck, Dean's oldest friends in the camp, would permit a person to go after a lost cause. Sam was hoping for one.

Lucy walked to the wardrobe crafted for the Medical Cabin and opened it was stocked with as much medical supplies as it could fit. Below was her emergency pack, filled with quick field aide medicine for when she's on the run. She grabbed the bag and handed it to him.

"Yu can't very well heal a person," she said. "You can do everything else but that. That's my department. You'll need this in case he's hurt."

"Thanks, Lucy," he said taking the bag. He moved to walk out the door.

"You love him, don't you?"

"What?" asked Sam turning back to her.

"Dean. You love him, don't you?"

Sam was flabbergasted. He and Dean had tried so hard to keep their relationship a secret. To not show their affections in public, but there were a few times when he or Dean would pull each other into an alcove and kiss the hell out of each other, or give one or the other a quickie but they always made sure they weren't seen.

"How did you…"

"Not that hard to see," she said. "You just got to know what to spot. The way you both were acting. Sitting just a _little_ too close together. The quick glances when you think no one's looking. The tones in each of your voices."

Sam hung his head, half embarrassed and half ashamed.

"I'm that transparent?" he said with a small laugh.

"Like an open book. But don't worry. It's only to a few people." She gave him a serious look. "Are you happy?"

Sam gave her a fond smile. He really did love Lucy and he was glad she was so concerned about his feelings. He hadn't had that in a long time.

"Yes, Lucy, yes. I'm happy, with him."

Lucy smiled in relief at seeing the honesty in her friend's face and nodded.

"Good, no go and get your man back," she said. "I'll be praying for you, both of you."

Sam walked over and kissed her hair. Lucy sighed sadly as she turned and watched Sam walk out.

Sam walked through the camp. His team would be working the fields so the cabin would be empty. He walked through the camp without anyone stopping him asking questions or getting him to do some inane task.

Walking into the cabin he went to his bunk and began to pack. For this trip he needed to travel lightly. If he was lucky he could get one of the motorcycles Dean uses for quick recon. Sam didn't like using one but right then the situation called for it.

He was just finished packing when the door opened and Ben walked in. for a moment Sam was surprised by seeing the young man but he quickly put it aside.

"What are you doing here, Ben," he asked.

"I left my gloves," said Ben obviously surprised to see Sam there. "What are you doing here?"

Sam smirked at him amusingly.

"This is my cabin too, and I'm head of the team. What reason do I need to be here?"

Ben looked down at the pack on Sam's bed and then back at Sam.

"You're going after Dean?" he asked. Sam sighed and nodded. Ben looked at him urgently. "Let me come too!"

"No!" said Sam. "No. You'll stay here with the team where it's safe."

Ben stared at Sam in shock before it turned to anger and Sam's rejection.

"Bullshit, Dean's my father!" Ben shouted

"And Dean's my friend!" Sam shouted back. _'More than a friend. Dean was Sam's everything.'_ "And that's why I can't let my friend's son get hurt."

"You can't go in alone," Ben pleaded, as it that would change Sam's mind. Sam nearly laughed. He'd been a lone most of his life. He would survive.

Sam turned to buckle the pack.

"I'll be fine by myself. I don't need a kid stumbling his way through and getting himself killed."

"I'm not a kid and I don't stumble! You need me."

Sam turned back to him.

"What I need is for you to stay here," he said. Shouldering his pack he moved to leave but Ben blocked his way. He stared at the young man sternly. "Move."

"No," said Ben.

Sam sighed and pushed into Ben's mind. He didn't want to do this to Dean's son but the man was a stubborn as his old man. Ben's eyes went slightly unfocused as Sam took control.

"You are going to stay in camp, unless ordered so by Ethan, Castiel or Chuck, is that understood?" he said.

"I understand," said Ben.

"Good. Now, get your gloves and return to the fields. Tell no one you saw me."

"Understood."

Ben shook out of the trance and walked around Sam, completely ignoring him as he went to his bunk and grabbed his gloves. Sam walked out of the cabin.

Sam walked through the camp, watching the soldiers walk around. Some were putting the finishing touches on the cabins and some were just milling around. A few looked Sam's way but made no move to stop him. Sam didn't want them to.

He got to the car park and went to the motorcycles and the ATVs. He grabbed a five galleon gasoline container and filled up a motorcycle. As quietly as he could rolled it toward the gate where two men were standing guard. He pushed into their minds effortlessly.

"You did not see me," he said.

"Understood," said both men and Sam pushed the bike out of the gates. When he was a mile away from the camp he got on the bike and rode off.

Sam knew he wasn't going to find Dean by random searching. It was not only dangerous but also fruitless. Demons could blink anywhere in the world in a split second. Sam needed another method to search Dean by.

He rode north. He didn't know where Dean was, but he knew something that would help him locate him. He just prayed it was where he thought it was.

He spent two days and two nights traveling. He avoided major cities and Croats, resting only when he absolutely had to. He didn't want to waste any more time in trying to locate Dean.

He drove all the way to South Dakota and all the way to the ruined familiar junkyard. He paused in front of the house, overwhelmed by memories he had suppressed for the last six years. The last time he had come to this house, he had just found Bobby shot dead in his study. Now, he came back to try to locate Dean.

Cutting the engine he put the kickstand down and walked up the stairs. He walked inside and beheld the mess inside. Six years of disuse was not kind to the once sanctuary. With any luck, Sam would be able to find what he needed, if looters hadn't grabbed it first. When Bobby had been alive, he was known as the town's eccentric and drunk and that kept most of the hoodlums at bay, but there were a few brave ones that would throw rocks or beer bottles at the house. Bobby would have scared them off by popping rounds of rock salt in the air, harmless but stung when hit.

Sam paused and looked around the house. He looked briefly into the kitchen and in the study. Books were scattered around, found useless to whichever looters decided to leave them and run. Sam would be lucky if he found Bobby's cache of weapons intact.

Sam walked through the kitchen and down to the basement. Most of the herbs and powders that Bobby had collected for years were scattered on the floor, discarded when the looters had no idea what they found. If the poor souls knew what was really in the jars than they might have lived longer.

Like Sam ha suspected, most of Bobby's weapons were gone, leaving only a few shell casings and a clip. Sam was sorry to see the collection Bobby had spent years assembling thrown to the ground in disrespect. The man was a legend in the Hunter world. He deserved more than this.

Sam went to one of the many chests that had been opened and discarded as "useless junk", but as Bobby always said "It's only useless when the person doesn't know how to use it." He found the pendulum, thankfully intact. It had a tripod stand with a crystal on top. Attached to the crystal was a strangle that ended in with a metal tip. There were runes on the pendulum to focus on the tracking spell. He also pulled out Bobby's collection of maps. He had seen Bobby use it before, when they were tracking Lilith. Bobby explained that with a name and the right ritual, the rest was easy. Sam had studied the ritual, and he counted himself with a pretty good memory, so he was sure that he could find Dean.

He walked back up the stairs and set the maps and pendulum on the desk, after cleaning it off. He places the tripod over the map and swung the pendulum, chanting in Latin and focusing on Dean. He focused on Dean's deep green eyes and sun-kissed blonde hair. He thought about how Dean held him after they made love and kept the nightmares away. The soft caresses and the goofy smiles. The pendulum swung faster and faster.

And stopped on a dot in the middle of California. Sam frowned and he read the town. Hollywood. Of course it would be Hollywood. He didn't know how long it would take him to ride there. It took him four days just to get here. He supposed if he could blink…

Sam frowned again. Could he? He never tried before. Never had a reason to before. Now he did. Could he blink from Sioux Falls, North Dakota to Richardson, Texas? It was worth a try.

But how to start? He needed a location. In theory he couldn't blink to a place he had never been to before, and he's never been to Richardson, Texas.

Sam had a sudden thought. It was crazy, but it just might work. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on his location as hard as he could.

The only change he perceived was that the ground was pebbly instead of smooth wood. He opened his eyes to find himself in front of a mansion. Of course it was a mansion. If a demon was going to hide out anywhere, why pick some down-to-earth ranch when you can shack up in a flipping castle with iron gates and a wall.

Sam could see them, but he could feel the Enochian symbols around the walls and house. The place was a fortress against the supernatural. Sam didn't even know if he could enter, but he wouldn't find out by standing there.

He walked over to the wall and levitated himself over. With the protective symbols, he guessed it dampened the need for guards. He landed softly on the grass, hidden behind some tall bushes and looked around. There was no one in sight.

He cautiously stepped out and heard a growl at his right. He turned to see a Rottweiler stare at him menacingly. He frowned. Of course they had a guard dog. He pushed into the dog's mind and sent it on its way. He continued forward.

He came to the back entrance and turned the knob. It came loose and opened. He pulled his knife out of the sheath. He walked inside and came into the kitchen. It was in complete disuse. Sam expected as much. Demons didn't need to eat. Sometimes they did it as a luxury, or just to fuel their hosts. It wasn't a necessity. But by the lack of dirty dishes, and by the dust on the counters, Sam knew it hadn't been used in a while.

Sam opened the door a crack and looked out. He didn't sense a demon, but that didn't mean they would blink in at a moment's notice. He knew there were demons in the house. They just weren't making themselves know.

Then he felt him. Dean. The mere presence of his lover was enough to make Sam smile. He wanted to run up the stairs to him, but knew that he couldn't. Not just yet.

He cautiously walked up the stairs, a tight hand on his knife. He checked the hallway and found it suspiciously vacant despite the demonic energies he felt. There were at least thirty, four in the same room as Dean.

Sam had known it was a trap the moment he heard Dean had been captured. It didn't take a genius to figure out why the demons attacked the camp but left as soon as they captured the leader of the human army.

Sam crept down the hall toward where Dean was being held. He kept an eye out for demons but didn't see any. He crept up to the door and felt around inside. He could feel the three demons with Dean, and Sam was sure one of them was the leader.

Slipping the knife back in the sheath, he grabs the doorknob and slowly turns it. He opens the door to find a spacious study. Every surface was pristine and a fire roared in the fireplace. Standing at the fireplace was a man wearing a well-tailored suit. He was sipping a cognac from a scotch glass. Two demons stood behind a chair, where Dean sat in a trance-like state.

"Very hard to find good cognac these days," said the man and turned around to face Sam. "Care for a sip?"

"I'm here, what do you want?" said Sam trying to rein in his anger.

The demon feigned offense.

"What? Don't fancy a chat and a fag? Do you want a fag? I could use one myself."

"I don't smoke," said Sam as the demon walked to the desk and pulled out a cigar. He used a cutter to snip off one end and light it.

"Name's Crowley," he said. "Sorry about the hoarse invite, but I believe it was necessary."

"You kidnapped my friend. Tell me why that shouldn't warrant me killing you now?"

"I think we both know he's a little more than a friend, Sammy…"

"It's Sam!"

"And the reason why you shouldn't kill me, if you could, is because I need you and you need me. We both know why you're really running, and it's not just because of the crazies."

Sam glared at Crowley as the demon puffed on his cigar.

"Through I am surprised by how long you stayed with Dean here. Usually you'd be hallway across the country by now." He walked over to Dean and ran a hand through the man's hair. Dean didn't move a muscle. "Through I can see why you stayed."

"Don't you touch him!" yelled Sam and tossed Crowley into the book shelf. Crowley grunted before sliding off the shelf and got to his feet. He wiped a line of blood from his chin with his thumb and licked it off.

"Got some kick, Sam. I can see why Dean went to you."

"What do you want?" asked Sam keeping an eye on both dean and Crowley.

"I want what you want. I don't want the Devil to bugger the world. Because guess who's next? Me." Crowley shrugged. "Well, demons in general. Then where will we be?"

"How does this involve me?"

Crowley groaned in irritation.

"Please, Sammy…"

"Sam!"

"Don't act like a spoiled little ingrate. You know why this involves you. Help us, and we'll set your eye candy free."

"And if I don't?" asked Sam.

"Then we'll kill Dean, after we have some fun with him, of course."

Sam clutched his fist to keep his anger under control. He looked at the two demons guarding Dean and then back at Crowley.

"I'll take option three," he said.

Crowley scoffed.

"There is no option three," he said.

Sam tapped into his powers and pulled. The two demons gagged and convulsed as their essences were pulled from their human hosts. When the two men crumpled to the floor he turned his gaze to Crowley. Crowley gave a cough and cleared his throat as he straightened his tie.

"Nice try, Sammy boy, but it'll take a lot more juice than what you're packing to pull me out. I'm a third level demon, a lot different than those black eyed lackey you've encountered before."

Sam gasped for breathe and pulled harder. Crowley just smiled and sipped his cognac. Sam looked around for something to use, panicking. He never encountered a demon he couldn't pull before. He had been able to pull every one.

Sam looked at Dean. He couldn't let Crowley harm Dean any more than he already has. The demon had invaded him home, harmed his friends and took his lover. Sam couldn't allow him to walk around and cause more harm.

Crowley set the glass on the mantle, momentarily turning his back to Sam.

"Now that we got the tickle session over, perhaps we can discuss the terms of our negotiation."

He turned back to Sam and froze. The irises of Sam's eyes were rimmed yellow. The hazel of Sam's eyes could still be seen as the yellow rimmed around the pupil. Sam's powers charged through the air, making the hairs on Crowley's arms stand on end. He tried to escape but unable to when Sam pulled up a barrier.

"Oh bugger," he said before Sam pulled him from his host.

Sam didn't just pull Crowley from his host. He complete incinerated the demonic spirit till there wasn't a speck left. Sam gasped as the power left him, along with the sudden rush he got from using it. His heart was beating so fast he was afraid it would burst from his chest.

A groaned turned his attention back to Dean and he rushed to his lover's side. Dean was coming out of the trance and looked around in confusion, his survival instincts kicking in.

"What the hell…" he said before turning to Sam. "Sam? Where are we? What's going on?"

"Dean, what's the last thing you remember?" asked Sam.

"The demons attacking the camp, and then I was here. How…"

"The demons brought you here. They wanted me."

Dean looked in confusion.

"You? Why would they want you?"

Sam frowned slightly. The feeling of something not right was still in his stomach but he didn't want to wait around for the demons to storm into the room. He used enough energy for today and he still wasn't fully recharged from the last time he used that much of his powers.

"It's complicated," said Sam. "But right now, we have to get out of here."

"Yeah, sure," said Dean standing. "We better get back and…"

Sam didn't let Dean finish. Sam flung out his hand and pinned Dean to the wall. Dean screamed and struggled against Sam's hold.

"Sam, what the hell are you doing?!" he yelled, struggling against the hold.

"You're not my Dean," said Sam barley looking at the man.

"Sammy, what the hell are you talking about? Of course it's me, now let me the hell go!"

"Dean would be a lot angrier over the attack and worried about his son. He would have asked about Ben, and Lucy and Alli and the others. You're not Dean. You're a demon."

"Sam, come on. That's crazy. What makes you think…?"

"I'm not stupid, demon. Did you think I wouldn't feel you? That I wouldn't have sensed your presence? I did, and I want you out of Dean."

Sam flicked his hand. Dean screamed as if he had caught fire and struggled against Sam's hold and Sam stared into the inky black eyes, once a clear shade of green.

"Damn it, I told them it wouldn't work, but they never listen to the little guy," said the demon and glared at Sam. "Let me go, and I'll give you back pretty boy."

"Your first mistake was possessing him," said Sam. The demon screamed at the rejection and struggled against Sam's hold.

"Let me go!" yelled the demon. "I'll make you pay for this!"

Sam ignored the demon's words and walked up to Dean standing in front of him and cupped Dean's face with both hands. He leaned down and rested his forehead against Dean's.

"Dean, I don't know if you can hear me, but I pray you can," he said pleadingly. "I'm not going to lie to you. This will hurt like hell, but I need you to hold on. Hold on and stay with me, you hear? I've lost so much in my life. I'm not going to lose you too."

The demon stared up at Sam with horrified eyes.

"You…You can't," he said. "You'll kill him. If you do, you will kill him."

Sam softly kissed Dean's lips.

"I love you, Dean, so, so much," he said and took a step back.

The demon's struggle increased.

"Sam, stop!" yelled the demon. "Stop! You'll kill him!"

Sam glared at the demon.

"Pray that you're wrong," he said. "Because if you're not, there is nothing that will stop me from destroying all you fuckers."

Sam clutched his fist and pulled the demon inside Dean. The demon screamed as he was forced from Dean's body. Dean's body starts to convulse, then heave as the demon is regurgitated out of it. The smoke poured out of Dean and onto the floor. It tried to disappear through the cracks but Sam grab hold of it, keeping it earthbound. He slowly began to burn the smoke, watching with strange satisfaction as it writhed on the floor till there wasn't a speck left. Only then did Sam release his power and lowered Dean to the floor.

"Dean," he said softly, holding his lover close to his chest. "Dean?"

Dean didn't respond. Sam's breathe hitched. What if what the demon said was true? What if he killed Dean trying to extract the demon from him?

Sam shook his head. No. He couldn't believe that. Dean is one of the strongest people Sam had ever known. If anyone could survive one of Sam's extractions, it would be Dean.

"Please, Dean," he said pleading. "Please, I need you to make one of your smart ass comments right now. Please, please wake up."

There was still no response and Sam was finding it harder to breathe. His chest was tight and his heart felt like it was constrained.

"Please, please, Dean, I need you to wake up now," he said and there was still no response. Sam's voice turned from pleading to hysterical. "Please, Dean, wake up! Wake up! Now! Please, God, please."

Sam felt tears fall but he ignored them. He failed. He failed the one person that meant more to him than anything. His last connection to the past and the man that he loved. When he started using his powers, he vowed to never fail another person again, and he failed that vow when it came to the most important person.

"I'm sorry," he said closing his eyes as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry."

"You better be." Sam gasped and opened his eyes to stare into Dean's green ones. Dean gave him his all too familiar smirk and Sam felt like he was floating. "That didn't hurt like hell. It hurt like a sonofabitch."

Sam laughed and pulled Dean into a bone crushing hug.

**TBC**

-The condition where there are two different colored eyes is called heterochromia iridum. The condition of two colors in the same eyes is called central heterochromia. Heterochromia is also referred to as "cat eyes" because of the multi-colored iris. Just a little science trivia there. *smile*


	26. Chapter 26

**Warning: If you have not read Stephen King's 'The Eyes of the Dragon' there will be slight spoilage.**

**Chapter 26: Once Upon Time…**

"What happened, Sam?" asked Dean as they all but ran out of the house. "How did you…?"

"Are you all right?" asked Sam checking Dean for injuries. He was still wondering how a demon had been able to possessed Dean. Dean had a tattoo of an anti-possession sigil over his heart like Sam to keep demons from possessing him. A lot of Hunters do that so they wouldn't get possessed.

"My chest burns but other than that I'm fine."

"Let me see."

Dean pulled up his shirt and Sam looked in horror to see Dean's anti-possession tattoo completely ruined. The skin of the tattoo was burned and Sam could see crusts of blood. He doubted the demons even tended the wounds.

"That looks bad. We need to get this looked at as soon as we get out."

"How do we do that?"

"Let's just get the hell out of here before the rest of the demons figure out what's going on," said Sam. "I'm almost out of juice."

He handed Dean his gun before taking out his knife and went to the door. A quick check showed the hallway free and they both ran out. They barely got to the stares before Sam felt the tell-tale sign of demons approaching.

"Demons!" he yelled to Dean in warning.

Dean just had enough time to get his guard up before five demons appeared. He fired as Sam slashed at the demons, either to kill them or drive them back. Sam didn't know if he had enough power left to blink but he wouldn't risk it with Dean. It was risk enough with just himself. He wasn't about to put his lover in danger as well.

Finally, after a few minutes, they killed every demon and ran. They ran through the house and ran toward the garage. Not surprisingly they found a sleek black Chevy Corvette. Of course a demon would have a sleek ride even during the End of the World.

They slide into the car and Sam pulled down the visor, and out tumbled the keys. Demons were exactly too worried about protecting their things when the human race only has the basics of instincts. Sam started the car, pressed the button to open the garage door and tore out of the garage as fast as he could.

"Sam, what happened?" asked Dean.

"What do you remember?" asked Sam as they drove through the streets of Hollywood.

"Unfortunately, everything." Sam glanced at Dean as he drove through the streets. "Demon thought he'd get a kick out of keeping me in the loop. Didn't get a lot of information on why they wanted you through."

Dean glanced at Sam who kept his eyes on the road. He knew that he owed Dean an explanation. The demons tried to use him as a bargaining chip. That wasn't something that could be explained away with an "I don't know". He just wasn't ready to give it. It was a reality he had been running from for six years.

"Let's just get out of town," he said to avoid the subject for a little while. The look on Dean's face told Sam that he didn't like the answer but he was willing to let it slide.

"We need to ditch this car," said Dean. "And we need weapons." He checked his clip. "I'm almost out."

"We'll find us a ride as soon as we leave the city," said Sam as he wove around a pile up. "Maybe find a couple shot guns or machetes."

"I prefer the shot guns when dealing with Croats."

"I prefer not to deal with Croats."

"Second that."

Sam continued to drive through the city, avoiding heavily Croatoan populated areas. He saw one or two but the 'Vette was too fast for the crazies to keep up with. Outside of the Californian border they packed up and, just for laughs, torched Crowley's car. The fire would attract the crazies away from them as they walk out of town.

Along the way Dean sung every Metallica and Black Sabbath he knew. Sam had to laugh as he did. Who knew Dean was really an okay singer?

They barely got a mile when they came across a bright red Ford truck. Sam gave Dean a questioning look and Dean shrugged.

"Better than nothing," he said.

They walked to the car and Sam opened the hood to check the engine. It seemed to be in pretty good order. He was just checking the battery when he heard Dean yelling. Thinking him in danger Sam ran to the back of the car, and found Dean holding up a pistol and shot gun.

"Thank God for rednecks," said Dean laughing.

Sam looked in the back to find the trunk loaded with firearms. Sam laughed with Dean and took the pistol. He checked for rounds and found a full clip.

"Looks like we're set for a while," he said.

"Thank God we found weapons. I felt like I was walking around naked."

Sam chuckled as he pulled a hip holster out and tied it on.

"Well, the car seems to be in working order. Just stock up on gas and food and we'll be in Kansas in two days."

"Great! I need to get back there. See how everyone is."

"When I left they were fine. I left the team to Ethan and Castiel was managing the camp."

Dean nodded.

"Good, that's how it should be."

They got in the car and turned the engine. Immediately country music played through the radio. Dean grimaced before turning the CD player off.

"Seriously, who like that crap," he said as Sam laughed.

They headed off. They continued to drive even after the sun went down till they came to a small town in Arizona and stopped at a motel.

The motel door was open but the inside was a mess. Both felt they were lucky the bed was only slightly torn from animal scavenges. They found a candle, boarded the windows and door and made themselves comfortable.

They brought in all their supplies to keep away from scavengers. Sam had just finished fixing their bed with sleeping bags from the local department store when Dean walked in carrying a bag of supplies.

"The mighty hunter has returned," he said holding up a rucksack he found.

Sam laughed at Dean antics.

"Well, did the mighty hunter find any meat?" he asked.

"Amazingly, he did."

He reached into the rucksack and pulled out a bag of beef jerky. Sam gaped in amazement.

"Where was that hiding?" he asked as Dean handed it to him.

"Under the shelves. No one really looks, but a good scavenger does."

Sam ripped the bag open and the smell of the spices assaulted his nose, making his mouth water. It smelled like heaven. It had been a long time since he had beef jerky.

They ate a meager meal of beef jerky, a single can of beans and amazingly, Fig Newtons and a can of fruit cocktail. The meal wasn't very filling, but they wouldn't be hearing their stomachs growl through the night.

Dean settled on the bed, drinking from a canteen they found at a hunting store and looked at Sam. The other man was going over their supplies, of which they had few. They were going to change cars the next morning and hopefully find some guns.

"So, are you going to explain what the hell that was about," he asked.

Sam paused, almost afraid. He had hoped to avoid this, but knew that Dean wouldn't let it alone. It wasn't in him.

"I should look at your burn," said Sam hoping to distract Dean, but it didn't.

"Don't avoid it, Sam. Tell me."

Sam sighed and sat back against the ruined desk. Somehow he knew that being near Dean wouldn't be a good idea at the time.

"Have you heard of Lucifer's Vessel?" he asked.

"Yeah, Cas told me," said Dean. "Said that there would be two men that would be the vessels of Lucifer and Michael. Both would be fight against each other for the fate of the world."

Sam laughed.

"That about sums it up. I searched everywhere, but I couldn't find Michael's Vessel."

"Why would you want to?" asked Dean. Sam detected the uneasiness in Dean's voice and wondered why.

"When I set the Devil free, demons started tracking me down. At first I thought they wanted to finish the job, kill me off, but then I heard that they were not allowed to hurt me, under pain of death themselves. All the while, angels are trying to kill me."

"Wait," said Dean trying to make sense of what he was hearing. "Are you saying you're Lucifer's Vessel?"

Sam worried his lower lip, almost afraid to look at Dean. This was one part of the questioning that he had hoped to never tell anyone.

"Yes," he said not looking at Dean.

Sam didn't want to, couldn't, look at Dean. He didn't want to see the hurt and betrayal in his lover's eyes. It was the reason why Sam ran all these years, why he never got close to anyone and he believed, even for a few days, that he was just another fortunate survivor.

"How many know," asked Dean with an edge to his voice that made Sam cringe.

"Just you, and maybe Cas and Chuck. I don't know through. I didn't ask."

"And this is why you ran? Because you're Lucifer's Vessel?"

"Everywhere I went, people got hurt. Demons. Croats. They found me and attacked everyone I was with."

"But the body he's in…"

"Isn't made for him. He drinks demon blood to keep it from burning up, and he's guzzling gallons a day. I'm hoping he'll burn the body up and he'll die, but it doesn't look like that's happening."

"Do you know who Michael's Vessel is?" Dean asked uneasily. Sam briefly wondered why before he shook his head.

"No, if I did, we would be together fighting this hellhole." He looked at Dean uneasily. "You don't hate me?"

"Hate you?" asked Dean with an edge on his voice. "Hate you because you came to my camp, bringing with you abilities you failed to tell us about, then demons attack my camp just to get to you and now this? Tell me, Sam, why should I not hate you?"

"I told you I needed to leave," said Sam defensively. "You kept me there and put everyone in danger."

"Because Chuck told me to. He said to keep an eye on you and I did the only way I know how. I just didn't expect…"

"Didn't expect what?" asked Sam, still angry and defensive.

"I didn't expect to fall in love with you."

Sam sighed. He stood and walked over to Dean, sitting on the bed next to his lover.

"I love you too. That's why I was so hesitant on telling you. I didn't want to lose you like I've lost everyone else."

Dean reached over and pulled Sam into an embrace, one that Sam fell into, mentally and physically exhausted.

They held each other for a while, reassured in their trust for each other but Sam could tell something was eating at Dean, something that had to do with Sam's story. He looked up at Dean cautiously.

"Dean, is something wrong?" he asked.

"I know who Michael's Vessel is," he said apprehensively.

Sam looked at him in shock.

"You do? Who? Where is he?" He frowned suddenly in thought. "Wait, you said 'is'. He's still alive? Still…"

"Human," Dean finished with a laugh. "Yeah, he's definitely still human."

"Who is he, Dean," asked Sam. He knew he sounded desperate and he was. He needed to know how he can stop Lucifer from taking over his body and destroying the world completely.

Dean was still apprehensive and it was several minutes before he answered Sam.

"Me."

"You? You're Michael's Vessel?" he said shocked.

"Yes," said Dean looking away.

Sam looked at Dean in shock. Dean was Michael's Vessel. The legendary Sword of Michael? Sam felt that he should be mad, but he couldn't bring himself to be.

"You said no, didn't you?' he said.

"The angels gave me every reason too, all except Cas of course. They even went as far as saying the Devil's vessel was as bad as he was and wouldn't hesitate in saying yes, but something made me say no. I wasn't a very trusting person before, still not in a way, but back then I really didn't believe them. And now that I've met you, I would kick their asses for trying to trick me like that."

Sam smiled at Dean gratefully. He leaned over and kissed Dean softly on the lips.

"Thanks, Dean," he said and leaned against Dean's chest. Dean wrapped his arms around Sam and they laid on the bed in silent comfort.

"Sleep, Sam. I'll take first watch."

They both fell asleep like that, wrapped in each other and the sleeping bags Sam salvaged. Dean woke Sam up after a few hours and Sam took up watch. The next day they got in the Hummer and took off toward Kansas. The rest of the time was spent in a blur of blacktop and music. Dean had found a few CDs in good condition that he played on a loop. One was incidentally an audio book of one of Chuck's _Supernatural_ books and both laughed at the coincidence and resigned to listen.

Sam had to smile as he watched the countryside fly past. He actually like riding with Dean in peaceful silence. Everything wasn't complicated, no paranoid guerilla soldiers out to kill him and no devil at his heels. For a moment he could forget about the Apocalypse. He was just a normal man, riding with the man he loved. For a moment, he could be happy.

He felt a hand slid into his and grip his own. Sam turned to see Dean with his eyes on the road, but the hand in his was evidence that Dean seemed to have heard Sam's thoughts. Sam smiled and returned the grip before it loosened and they rode through the country in silence.

At their next stop Dean siphoned gas from a crashed car as Sam looked through a convenience store for any supplies, and found scattered books. He grabbed Stephan King, Dean Koontz, westerns and paranormal romance. He knew he was going to lip from Dean on the last one but he figured Lucy and Alli would like them.

He was just looking through the grocery section when he heard a clatter. Sam frowned in confusion. Dean didn't say he was joining Sam after siphoning the gas.

"Dean," he called. "Dean, are there…?"

He walked down the aisle and turned a corner, and almost into a crazy. He jumped back in surprise and in attempt to get away from the man, and collided with a shelf.

The crazy grabbed him and Sam braced an arm against the man's throat to keep his teeth away from Sam. Along with a savage mind, the turned humans have extra strength and had been known to use teeth when cutting implements weren't available. Sam may be immune to the virus, but that didn't mean he liked getting attacked.

"Dean!" he yelled and the next thing he knew a bat connected to the crazy's face. The crazy flew off Sam and landed on the floor on his back. Dean stood over him and slammed a knife into the man's chest. The crazy gurgled for a second before becoming still.

Dean turned back to Sam and held a hand out for Sam to take and helped him up.

"You okay there, champ?" he asked as Sam rubbed a sore muscle in his shoulder.

"Yeah, didn't even see him," said Sam looking over at the dead crazy.

"So what do you think?" asked Dean. "Zombie kill of the week?"

Sam looked at him in surprise for a moment before laughing.

"No, I think I beat you with taking out a whole family a while back," said Sam.

"Everyone's a critic." He reached up and placed a gentle hand on Sam's neck. "You sure you're okay?"

Sam had to smile at Dean's concern. It was great to know someone cared for him.

"Yeah, just sore from the shelf. I'll be fine."

"Okay," said Dean leaning up and softly kissed Sam. "Grabbed the stuff and let's go. Where's there's one there's more."

Sam nodded and picked up the stuff he dropped as Dean went back out to keep watch. Dean laughed as Sam walked out with the supplies and the books.

"Planning on opening a library?" he asked.

"Ha-ha," said Sam smiling. "You'll thank me when you have nothing to do and bore with listening to 'Evil Walks' ten times. Plus, we can't have sex all the time."

Dean grinned at him and slid a hand over Sam's hip.

"But I make sex fun," he said leaning down to kiss Sam's neck and softly bite it. Sam moaned softly and laughed.

"I know you do, but we gotta get to Kansas," he said and kissed Dean's cheek. Dean made a fake exasperated sigh.

"And here I thought I was going to have hot car sex," he said. Sam gave him a promising smile as he put the supplies in the back.

"Later," he said.

Dean grinned stupidly as he got into the car. They continued to drive to Kansas. This time Sam read from 'The Eyes of the Dragon' by Stephen King. He read aloud to share the store with Dean and soon he got caught up in the world of imprisoned Princes and evil advisors. He was so caught up in read that he didn't notice Dean looking at him from the corner of his eyes and grinned.

That night when the sun had set and the stars took over Sam put the book away and they listened to the radio. They drove for a couple more hours till exhaustion got the better of them and they pulled into a motel. They repeated the previous night barricading the windows and doors. They also took everything in the truck into the room to safe guard against scavengers. Like the night before one was awake while the other slept, keeping a watch out for Croats or scavengers.

They continued their way through country the next day. Sam continued reading from the books as they drove and Dean quietly listened. They only stopped to eat or relieve themselves. Every so often Dean siphoned gas to fill the car up.

Toward evening, Sam had finished the book and Dean put on some music to fill the silence. Sam dozed against the passenger door.

**TBC**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27: War Room**

_Sam watched in shock as the Devil started to fill the whole. Men and women were dead on the ground. The Colt hung uselessly at his side. _

"_Don't feel too bad, Sam," said the Devil. "There are only five things in all of creation that that gun can't kill, and I just happen to be one of them. But if you give me a minute, I'm almost done."_

_The Devil picks up the shovel and moves two scoops of dirt. He leans on the shovel._

"_You know, I don't suppose you'd just say yes here and now?"_

_Sam glares up at him in murderous anger. He's too angry to respond._

"_End this whole tiresome discussion? That's crazy, right?"_

_Finally, Sam found his voice._

"_It's never gonna happen!" he said_

_The Devil goes back to filling his hole._

"_Oh, I don't know, Sam. I think it will. I think it'll happen soon. Within six months. And I think it'll happen in Detroit."_

"_You listen to me, you son of a bitch," said Sam. "I'm gonna kill you myself, you understand me? I'm going to rip your heart out!"_

"Sam?"

Sam woke with a gasp and looked up at Dean's concerned face. Mind was still briefly on the dream-memory but Dean's face centered him.

"Dean?"

"Are you okay?" asked Dean, still concerned.

"Yeah, nightmare," said Sam as if it was an everyday occurrence, but for him it might as well be. Dean looked at him in understanding and placed a kiss on his lips.

"It's over now," he said rubbing Sam's arm in comfort. "Let's go. Time to hit the road."

Sam nodded and they got their stuff packed into the truck. They rode as the day before, Sam softly reading from one of the books he found and Dean drove quietly listening. Both were more than happy when they reached the Kansas state line.

By evening they neared Kansas City and veered toward the camp. Both men were excited as they neared camp and came to the gate entrance.

"Stop! Who goes there?!" yelled a very familiar voice that sent a jolt through them.

"It's Ben," said Sam excited. Both rushed out of the truck.

"Ben, it's me!" yelled Dean.

"Dad?" There was a pause and the sound of running feet is heard. "Just a second, Dad. Is Sam with you?"

"Yes, Ben, I'm here," said Sam.

There was a cheer behind the gate.

"Stand back. We're opening the gate!"

Sam and Dean smiled at each other as they got in the truck and drove through as the gates opened. Masses of people warmed around the truck, welcoming the two men back. Sam and Dean got back out of the truck and greeted the soldiers.

"Dad!" yelled Ben and collided into Dean. "Thank God, you're okay!"

"Hi, Ben," said Dean hugging his son. Sam smiled at the sight.

"Out of my way! Out of my way! I'm going to kill them!"

Sam turned in time to see Lucy push herself out of the crowd and charge right at him. Sam barely had time to defend himself before Lucy clocked him. He collided into the truck and rubbed the ache in his jaw. Damn, the girl could punch. He looked up to see Lucy charged at him again and he feared another punch but instead she hugged him.

"I was so worried," she said sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Lucy," said Sam hugging her. He looked up to see Alli standing to the side. He opened an arm to invite her in and she ran to hug him too. It surprised him. Alli was usually the strong one in their relationship. To show how much she was worried told him how much she cared. "I'm sorry."

"I know," said Alli.

"Come on, you two," said Lucy. "I have to check you over in case of infection and…"

"We understand, Lucy," said Dean. "Lead the way."

"Okay," said Lucy and turned to her life partner. "Alli?"

Alli nods and turns to the crowd.

"Clear the way, people! Commander on the deck!" she yelled.

The crowd parted and the five walked through. Sam and Dean shook hands along the way. As they neared the infirmary they heard shouts and turned to see Squad B run to them and Sam was suddenly sandwiched by four hard bodies.

"Guys, guys, guys, air!" yelled Sam as he attempted to move around. Immediately the men let him go and proceeded to punch him in the shoulder. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Leaving us behind!" said the twins.

"I'm sorry, guys, but it's faster by myself."

"That's not the point, Sam," said Steve glaring angrily at him. "We're a team. We're supposed to do things as a unit."

"Not run off half-cocked," said Ethan, glaring at his commanding officer.

"I wasn't half-cocked," said Sam. He kind of was but he wouldn't admit that to his team. "I had a plan and it went perfectly."

"That still gave you no right to leave without us," said Todd.

Sam sighed. He knew he would be getting assaulted by his team as soon as he got back but he had hoped he would have a few minutes rest before then.

"I'm sorry, guys," he said. "Do you want to take it to the ring?"

The team looked surprised at the question. The squad had never taken on of their own to the ring, no matter how angry they were at them. They had more than enough reasons with the twins' pranks but they even refrained from tossing them around. Even Ethan after he woke after have a lake full of water dumped on him, which a feat in and of itself.

"No," said Ethan after a minute. "That won't be necessary."

Sam nodded, grateful. He really didn't want to toss his friends around in the ring for any reason.

"Sam, come on," said Lucy.

"Coming," said Sam and turned back to the team. "I'll be back."

He followed Lucy up in the infirmary. He sat down on the bed opposite Dean's and waited for Lucy to inspect him. She walked up to them as she snapped on a pair of leather gloves, the only protection they got against the virus.

"All right, you know the drill," she said. "Strip. Should be easy for both of you."

She said that last part with a mischievous smile and he looked at Sam as Sam tugged off his shoes and socks.

"Yeah, Lucy knows about us," said Sam with a nervous laugh.

"Who else knows," asked Dean uncertainly.

"Oh, just me," said Lucy. "And Alli, Ethan, Steve, Carl, Todd, Ben, Cas, and Chuck."

Dean groans and covers his head with his hands. Sam inwardly laughs. He feels bad about his lover's private life being ousted, but he's also glad that some people know that Dean isn't on the market anymore.

"I didn't tell you so you could tell everyone in camp, Lucy," said Sam.

"Oh, I didn't," said Lucy proudly. "Everyone already knew. All we had to do was look at you and know. Hell, we knew before you both knew."

This time both groaned. Just what they needed. A camp full of bigotry. After the Apocalypse a lot of the survivors became very religious and looked down on anything that was sinful. Sam had seen more than one heated looks and heard too many scorching remarks toward Lucy and Alli because of their relationship and if it wasn't for the fact that both girls could hold their own, he would be more than a little afraid for them.

"Just need to check for cuts, get blood work done and overnight observation," said Lucy as the two men stripped to their skivvies.

Sam stood patiently as Lucy inspected first Dean and then him. He tried not to show how embarrassed he was as she did but it was hard to hide the blush on his face. He didn't want to tell her he was immune to the virus, no need to add another freaky thing about himself.

Lucy checked them both quickly and drew up some blood. As she checked it over both quickly dressed. They sat on the same bed and Sam leaned against Dean a little as Lucy walked out.

"Don't see anything but that doesn't mean anything," she said. "Stay here over night. It'll be fine. I'll order in dinner."

"I need to talk to Cas and Chuck," said Dean. "Can you bring them in?"

"Sure," she said. "Just get some rest and I'll be right back. On separate beds!"

"Yes, Mom," said Sam laughing.

Nodding, Lucy walked out. Sam and Dean looked at each other before pushing the two beds together and curled up next to each other. They weren't very exhausted but a chance to rest and stretch their legs was too good an offer to pass up.

They were about to be whisked into sleep when the door opened and Ben walked in holding a tray with enough food for an army. He blushed when he saw his team leader and father lying together in the same bed.

"Hey, Ben," said Dean sitting up. Sam sat up next to him.

"I got food," said Ben uneasily.

"Thanks, Ben," said Sam. Ben walked over to the bed and set the tray between the two men. Sam looked at him in surprise. "Wow, cook went all out."

"Well, you've been gone for a while," said Ben uneasily. "So…"

"Three months, Ben," said Dean. "We've been together three months."

"Sorry we didn't tell you," said Sam taking Dean's hand in his.

"Hell, you guys are entitled to your private lives," said Ben. "I never asked Dad about all the people he's banged so why should I with you? Through I must say you lasted longer."

"Really?" said Sam giving Dean sly look. Dean laughed nervously.

"Ben," said Dean stressing his son's name and Sam laughed. He turned back to the young man.

"We're sorry, Ben. Out of everyone we should have told you first."

Ben waved him off.

"Nah, man, I don't blame you. I'm just glad you guys are together. Eat up. Lucy says she wants it all gone before your meeting with Cas and Chuck."

"Okay," said Dean and handed Sam a roll. From the warmth Sam could tell it had just came out of the oven. There was also fresh butter and freshly baked pie.

They ate in comfortable silence, happy to be back to camp. Sam even ate his slice of pie. He doesn't eat pie often but he allowed himself to indulge a bit. Dean however ate enough for an army and ate what Sam left.

Lucy came up almost as soon as they finished and glared at them at the sight of the joined beds.

"I said separately," she said.

Dean laughed mischievously.

"Lucy, we haven't been "separate" in the last three days," he said wrapping a hand around Sam's shoulder. Ben blushed a beet red and ran out of the cabin. Sam jabbed him hard in the ribs. "Ow."

Lucy shakes her head.

"I can't believe you too," she said. "Well, Cas and Chuck will be here soon so freshen up."

"Okay, Lucy, thanks," said Sam. Lucy nodded and left the cabin. Sam turned to Dean with a stern look. "Nice one, Dean."

"What?" said Dean leaning back on the bed, his hand behind him to prop his upper body. "They know about us. Not like we have to hide."

"We didn't have to throw it out there either," said Sam. "Lucy might not mind but did you see how fast Ben ran. That's your son, Dean. You might want to work on subtly."

Dean thought for a moment before sighing.

"You're right, Sam. Sorry."

"Apologize to Ben, not me."

"I will," said Dean leaning up and kissing Sam's neck. He rested his chin on Sam's shoulder. "Have you thought about where you're sleeping tonight?"

"I thought with my team. Why? You got someplace better?"

Dean looked uneasy over the question.

"Uh, yes. My cabin. In my bed. With me."

Sam turned to him in surprise.

"Dean, is this you're not so subtle way of asking me to move in with you?" he asked.

"Is it working?' asked Dean with a nervous smile and then sigh. "You're right. It was a dumb idea. Forget I said anything."

Sam stared at him in shock. From what he knew of Dean, he had never asked another to move in with him. Because of their fight with the crazies and their positions as leaders, Sam thought they would never be able to live together like most couples. He'd be lying if he said he didn't think about it. He even fantasized what it would be like if they met under different circumstances. If they had not met during the end of the world and they were two regular guys meeting by random chance. But as Sam learned through his life, nothing was by chance. Everything was set out before him.

But why can't he have this one thing? To be with Dean despite the situation they were in. he deserved that much.

"No, it wasn't a dumb idea," said Sam putting a hand on Dean's arm. I would love more than anything to move in with you."

Dean looked at him in shock.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes," said Sam with every certainty that he had.

Dean smiled lovingly at him and it pulled Sam toward him. He kissed Dean lightly on the lips and they remained that way. Just lightly kissing each other. There was no tongue. No passion. Both mean just showing the love they had for each other.

"Ahem."

They stopped kissing and turned to see Castiel and Chuck looking at him. Actually, Castiel was looking at them with a dopey grin while Chuck was looking at the floor in embarrassment.

"So sorry to interrupt," said Castiel, "but you did want to see us."

"Yes," said Dean clearing his throat. "I need a report on what happened here after the demon attack. Injuries, ammunition, everything."

"A lot of injuries," said Chuck as he and Castiel pulled up chairs. "A few dead. More injured. It would have been worse if not for Sam here."

"Just helping," said Sam.

"Low on ammunition, but quickly replenishing it," continued Chuck. "Food's not a problem. Got enough to last until spring harvest."

"That's good," said Dean in relief.

"What happened, Dean," asked Castiel.

"Well, after the demons attacked I woke up in a mansion in Hollywood Boulevard with a demon riding front seat," said Dean.

Castiel and Chuck looked at him in shock. Sam understood. For a Hunter to allow a demon to ride him, even if it wasn't voluntary, was an insult to the profession. Hunters didn't take it personally, but it was still a slap in the face.

"How did you get out?" asked Chuck.

"Sam," said Dean turning to his lover. "Found me, pulled the demon out and got me out of there."

Chuck turned to Sam. "How did you find him?"

"A pendulum Bobby had that he used to locate Lilith. I hoped it would find Dean. It worked."

"What if it didn't," asked Dean. Sam paused for a moment.

"I honestly hadn't thought of that."

All three men looked at him in shock before Dean starts laughing.

"The things that come out of your mouth! Jesus!"

"Do you know what the demons wanted?" asked Castiel.

"They think Lucifer is coming." Both men gave a start and Sam nodded. "Yeah. About how I felt when I heard."

"He should be gone by now," said Chuck. "In a vessel that wasn't meant to be his, it should have burned up by now."

"He's gorging on demon blood just to keep going," said Sam. "The last time I saw him was six years ago. He had lesions all over his body. Who know what he looks like now."

"So the Devil's back in town," said Castiel with slight humor.

"What do we do?"

"Grab the torch and pitchforks," said Dean.

**TBC**


	28. Chapter 28

**This chapter is rated NC-17**

**Chapter 28: The Calm Before the Storm**

Sam and Dean spent the night in the Medical cabin, per Lucy's orders, and given a clean bill of health the next morning. Over the next couple of weeks, plans were made and supplies were stocked. The four leaders tried to keep it as normal as possible, but there were whispers around the camp about over the urgency on some of the supplies that were brought. Holy Oil by the galleons, all blessed by Chuck the prophet and discard Angel Blades, located by Castiel.

Sam looked out of the jeep he was driving with Ethan riding shotgun. At the moment they were driving out of Wall Street, New York City, or what had once been Wall Street. They spent hours dodging Croats to get to their destination and set up a fordable site to stay. Their mission was not without success, shown by the two galleons in the back of the jeep, the thick red liquid sloshing gently to the motions of the car.

They were driving back to Kansas. Since Sam and Dean's return plans have been made for the Devil's arrival. Everything was guess work, but so far everything was quiet.

Sam only wished his head was quiet. Over and over again he saw the Devil assault the camp and destroy everything in his dreams. It was these drams the prompted Sam to leave and find his own weapons against the Devil. The Holy Oil and Angel Blades could only hold them off. He only needed one last thing.

His mind went back to the night before he left.

_"No, it's too dangerous," said Dean. When he heard Sam's plan he adamantly refused. Sam knew why. That was why he only told his lover part of the plan. The whole plan Dean would really object to._

_ "Dean, it's the only way," said Sam trying to reassure his lover. _

_ "No, it's not. We'll find another."_

_ "Dean, I'm the best beat you have against him. If I can find a way to stop him, I will. I'll be fine, you'll see."_

Those words had been so simple then. Reassuring words that he had given victims of supernatural attacks countless times. It was easy to roll them off the tongue and make people think them as true.

Problem was Sam didn't believe them. He had talked to Chuck in private about the plan and he said even he had a slim chance of success. Slim was better than none in Sam's world.

"What do we need next?" asked Ethan.

"An act of God in crystalized form," said Sam.

"A what?"

"A fulgrite. When light hits sand at the right angle, it crystallizes into the perfect shape of itself. Very rare."

"If they're rare, then how are we going to find one?"

"We make one."

Ethan looked at him like he was crazy but didn't question him. They drove out of New York and all the way into New Jersey. They drove all the way to the Jersey Shore and parked in front of the boardwalk. After checking for Croats the got out and Sam pulled out a long metal rod and a pole driver.

They walked up onto the beach, keeping an eye out for Croats the whole time but the likely hood of seeing one was minimal. Croats didn't like water for very primal reasons so they stayed far away from beaches and deep rivers. The walked out onto the beach and, after calculating the right angle, drove the rod into the sad with the pole driver. Overhead, the wind started to pick up.

"Are you sure this will work," asked Ethan as he looked to the darkening clouds in the horizon.

Sam looked toward the clouds too. He knew he could have just made a fulgrite himself, but then that would have been act of God. Spells were very technical when you do them. He hoped this would be enough to work.

"It'll work," said Sam driving the rod in one last time. "All right. Let's go!"

They ran back to the jeep and got under its covered roof as rain pelted the ground. In the distance, lightening danced in the sky. They drove to their fort and waited for the storm to pass, passing the time reading a copy of _Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_ that Sam found during a supply raid. Somehow the book was apropos to his current predicament.

The storm ended the next morning and Sam and Ethan packed up the jeep and went to the beach. They pulled the pole from the sands and dug out a perfectly form fulgrite. It was so beautifully made that Sam didn't want to destroy it, but he had for the spell.

"Now what?" asked Ethan as they got into their fort.

"Now, we barbeque," said Sam.

Ethan looked at Sam like he was kidding, but he was dead serious. Sam spent two hours making the perfect venison prime rib along with vegetables and bread rolls. He pulled out the strawberry jam puree Lucy had snuck into his bag and set it with the rest of the meal.

Finally, he was ready. He set up the ritual, pounding the fulgrite in a bowl with the other ingredients and set it on fire. Taking out a piece of paper he read the incantation on it.

"Invoco Mortem. Te in mea potestate. Defixi. Nunc et in aeternum."

"Well, this is a surprise."

Sam and Ethan turned. Ethan drew his gun and leveled it at the pale old man sitting on one of the chairs by the table, a black cane in hand. He looked at Sam in amusement. Sam reached over and lowered Ethan's gun.

"Took you a while for you to call," he said.

"Didn't know you were waiting," said Sam. "Nice seeing you again, Death."

Death picked up the knife and fork and started cutting into the rib.

"I said you would, didn't I? When I said you would have to make a decision to change the war."

"I should have listened."

"So," said Death wiping his mouth with a napkin. "You bound me for what?"

"I need your ring."

The look of amusement never wavered from Death's face.

"My ring? What could you possibly need my ring for?"

"You know why," said Sam trying to hide his annoyance. He knew Death couldn't hurt him, not with him bound, but it would bode well to be on Death's bad side once Sam released him.

"Trying to cage Lucifer?" asked Death and laughed. "Good luck with that."

"And what's hat supposed to mean," asked Ethan.

Death gave him a cold look before turning back to Sam.

"Because the Apocalypse has started. Even with Lucifer gone, Croats will still run the streets. Humans will still die. Demons will continue to make this hell on Earth and the world will be dead. It is inevitable."

Ethan raised his gun threatening.

"Let me kill him, Sam. He's not going to help…"

"Right. Kill Death." He turns to Sam. "Smart one, this guy is."

"That won't happen if my plan works," said Sam.

"And your plan is for you to have my ring?"

Sam gave Death a smirk Dean would be proud of.

"Actually, my plan is a bit more than that."

Hours later, Sam and Ethan drove back to Kansas. Sam drank a bit from a jug. He let the spicy sweet flavor of the liquid send him on a euphoric high before he took another sip. Ethan grimaced.

"Do you have to drink that shit in front of me," he asked disgusted.

"Well, I could chug it down, but I doubt you'd want to see it again when I bring it back up."

"I'd rather you didn't drink it at all."

"I know what you mean," said Sam looking at the thick liquid in disgust. There was a time when he would have killed for a drop of it, but that was before he learned about the strings attached. Now he could barely stomach the stuff.

They continued to drive on, Sam drinking the entire time. As time passed he could feel everything around him heighten. The colors became more vibrant, the tiniest sound could be heard from ten yards away and his touch was ultra-sensitized. Everything electrified his nerves and made his skin cells felt like an electric storm. It was feeling he had forgotten and briefly wondered why he quit until he remembered the woman that had gotten him addicted to it was a lying manipulative bitch.

It took them a day and a half to reach camp and by then Sam had drunk both jugs and the high he had electrified his entire body.

"You sure this will work?" asked Ethan as they neared camp.

"It's the only one with any guarantee of working," said Sam.

They arrived at camp toward evening. They were greeted by some of the squads and they pulled up into the car park.

"Got everything?" asked Dean walking up to Sam and putting a hand on his arm. Sam suppressed a groan. He forgot how horny the stuff made him. He wanted to pull Dean against his chest and kiss the daylights out of his lover but he held himself back. Dean must have noticed Sam's stiff posture because he immediately looked concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," said Sam reassuringly. "Long trip."

Dean patted Sam on the back.

"Well, you can rest now," he said and turned to the squad. "Unload the jeep. Get it in the supply cabin. And have someone bring dinner for Sam to my cabin." He turned back to Sam. Let's get you to the cabin and rest."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," said Sam and followed Dean.

He followed Dean to the cabin. Sam was more than happy to take a rest. The electric feeling he had had dampened until Dean touched him. Now he was practically vibrating out of his skin.

"How did it go?" asked Dean.

"I got what we needed," said Sam. "Don't worry."

"Where?"

Sam fished into his pocket and brought out the silver band ring with the onyx stone. Dean looked at it curiously.

"That's it?" he asked. "That's Death's ring?"

Sam laughed. "What were you expecting? A ten ton stone?"

"No, but I thought it would be more…well, more."

"Well, this is what we've got."

Dean nodded. He led Sam into their cabin. Sam was more than happy to let Dean carry him. His body was so sensitized that he could barely walk.

"Here," said Dean setting Sam down on the bed. "That spell took a lot out of you."

"Yeah, it did," said Sam smiling up at him. Reaching up he grabbed the back of Dean's head and pulled the older man down for a kiss. He gasped as sparks flew from his lips to his cock. He smiled up at Dean as he pulled away. "Missed you."

"Missed you too," said Dean as the door opened. He greeted the "intruder" without even looking. "Hello, Lucy."

"Hello, boys," said Lucy walking in with a tray heaping with food. She took one look at Sam and frowned. "You don't look so hot, Sam."

"Spell," said Sam. "Had a few side-effects."

"Like what?" asked Lucy setting the tray down and began inspecting him.

"Fever, heightened sensitivity, and few other things."

"Like what?"

Sam glanced at Dean. It didn't take a genius to figure out what that meant.

"Well, eat first. I don't want you passing out."

"Yes, Lucy," said Sam smiling up at his friend.

"Anything for you. I also put in a piece of pie, and it's for Sam." She said the last part at Dean who was about to spear his fork into it. Sam laughed.

"What?" asked Dean. "I'm hungry too."

"I'll let you eat," said Lucy, ignoring Dean completely, and walked out. Dean picked up the tray and placed it on the adjoined cot.

"Here," he said, holding up the sandwich. Sam took it and took a bite.

"You can have the pie you know," he said.

"I know," said Dean smiling.

They ate in silence, contending in each other's presence. Dean even fed Sam a bit of the pie. When they finished Dean helped Sam get ready for bed and placed him under the covers. He undressed and got under with Sam. He could feel Sam's erection against his him and it made him hard too.

"Sam," he said turning to face him.

"Yes, Dean?" asked Sam looking at Dean. Dean was looking at him so tenderly that Sam's throat nearly closed. God, with how much he loved this man in front of him he was surprised his heart didn't go into cardiac arrest. It was terrifying and to know that Dean loved him just as much was breath taking. Now he wondered how he survived without this man by his side.

Dean reached up and cupped Sam's head, rubbing a thumb along his cheek.

"I love you, Sammy," he said.

"I love you too, Dean," said Sam.

Dean leaned down and kissed Sam. The kiss was slow, no big hurry, but they both moaned as the kissed tingled their lips. For a few minutes they just kissed, sometimes gasping for air before they started kissing again.

Sam broke the kiss with a gasp and started kissing down Dean's neck. Dean moaned as Sam sucked lightly on a spot just under his jaw. He kissed down to Dean's chest and licked his nipple. Dean groans and cupped Sam's head to keep him there. Sam reached up and played with the other. Dean hissed and Sam smirked. Dean's nipples were sensitive as proven when Sam made him come just by sucking on them alone, but he didn't want Dean to come just yet.

He sucked on Dean's nipple lightly until it was hard and switched to the other, giving it the same attention. Dean writhed under him, seeking attention to the place that burned him most but Sam ignored that part of his lover. He wanted to take it slow tonight.

He kissed and licked down Dean's stomach, loving the sounds that Dean made with each move. His hands held Dean down by the hips as his lover continued to thrash under him. He paused as he reached the waistband of Dean's boxers.

"Please, Sam, please," said Dean.

"Please what, Dean?" asked Sam.

"Take them off."

Sam did just that, slowly slid Dean's boxers from his hips. He kissed Dean's hard shaft and Dean bucked under him. He continued to slowly take Dean's boxers off and moved back up to Dean's erection. He licked up the shaft and took the head in his mouth, sucking on it gently. Dean moaned and thrust into Sam's mouth, seeking more of the warmth. Slowly Sam took the rest of his lover's cock in his mouth and slowly sucked, pressing his tongue against the head. He drew Dean out of his mouth until just the head was in his mouth and licked the slick, dabbing his tongue in it. Dean bucked again and Sam almost didn't catch Dean until his whole cock was shoved back into his mouth.

"Please, Sam, please, suck me off," begged Dean desperately. "Make me come."

Sam would have wanted to take his time, but the desperate voice Dean was giving him he couldn't resist. He engulfed Dean's dick and sucked harder. Reaching down he cupped Dean's sack and played with his balls. Dean thrashed under him and lost it. With a hoarse cry he came in Sam's mouth and Sam drank all that was given him. Sam's erection ached but he staved off his own release, focusing on Dean's.

"Sam, please, I want you inside me."

Sam looked up at Dean in surprise. Dean had never asked to be bottom. He always topped, not that Sam was complaining. He never saw Dean as a bottom.

"Have you ever…"

"No, just fingering. But I want you to."

Sam was shocked by what Dean told him. Dean was practically still a virgin and he was trusting Sam to be his first. Sam felt so honored and loved that he could do the only thing he could do. He kissed Dean. He kissed him with all the love that he had. He pulled away and smiled down at him.

"I'll make it feel so good for you," he promised, kissing Dean's nose to seal it.

He kissed back down Dean's body till he reached Dean's now half hard erection. He took it in his mouth, gently sucking on it to bring it back to full erection. He felt a jar be pressed into his hand and knew it was the oil that they use as lubricant. Without taking his mouth off Dean he uncorked the jar and coated three of his fingers with it. He ran a finger over Dean's sack and circled Dean's hole. He teased the rim for a bit, letting Dean get used to the feel of Sam's finger and all the while Dean was shivering above him from the force of trying to keep still.

"Please, Sam."

"I don't want to hurt you, Dean," said Sam looking up at his lover's flushed face.

"Put it in me _now_!"

Sam obeyed his lover's wish, but still went slow. He knew the first time would hurt and he wasn't small by any means. He told the truth when he told Dean he didn't want to hurt him. Women had trouble when he had sex with them. He didn't want Dean to be the same.

Slowly he slid a finger into Dean. Dean hissed at the intrusion and Sam distracted him by continuing to suck his cock. He moaned when he felt Dean's tight heat and Dean clenched around his finger. He slid another finger in after Dean had gotten used to the first and then a third.

Suddenly Dean thrashed under him with a choking moan. Sam grinned and continued to stimulate Dean's prostrate, feeling the body under him strain to keep from coming.

"Now, Sam, now!"

Sam picked up the jar and coated his cock with the oil. He wasn't taking any chances with Dean. He carefully lined himself up until he nudged Dean's hole. He looked down at Dean, seeing the lust blown green eyes he loved so much.

"I'll stop any time, just say the word," he said.

"Don't want to stop," said Dean and leaned up and kissed Sam.

Slowly Sam pushed inside. Dean's nails dug into his back but he didn't stop Sam from continuing. Inch by inch, Sam pushed in until he was halfway in and he stopped to give a moment to adjust. He was only halfway in and it was the best feeling he ever had. None of the women he had been with had made him feel like this, not even Jessica.

"Oh God, Dean, you feel so fucking good," he said. His hips shook from the effort of not pushing in any further. "So hot. So tight. I need…I need to…"

"I know, Sam, I need it too. Please, get in me."

Sam raised Dean's hips off the bed and pushed the rest of the way in. Dean cried out when Sam's cock brushed his prostrate.

Sam gasped at the feeling of Dean's heat surrounding him. His hips still from the effort of trying not thrust into the welcoming channel. They were a perfect fit. Dean took all of him without effort. That had never happened before.

"Move, Sam," said Dean and Sam did. He thrust into Dean as Dean thrust up to meet him, following Dean's instructions as he yelled, "faster" or "harder" and the occasional "oh god, yes!" every time Sam hit his prostrate.

Sam was also a babbling mess. Words like "tight" and "hot" fell from his lips, as well as telling Dean that he was amazing and that he was a slut for Sam's cock. Dean agreed with Sam on the last part as he cried out from Sam slamming into his prostrate again.

All too soon, or minutes later since Sam lost trace on how long it had been, he felt his pleasure peak rise and from the strain on Dean's face he knew his lover was close too. Reaching down he grabbed Dean's neglected cock and started stroking it, using the precum to lube his hand and making it slick. Dean moaned deep and grabbed Sam's ass cheeks, forcing Sam to slam harder into him. Sam cried out from the feeling of Dean's blunt finger's digging into his skin.

"Almost, Sam, almost," said Dean panting, sweat beading his forehead.

"Me too," said Sam.

A dew seconds later, his orgasm slammed into him. He bit into Dean's shoulder to muffle his screams and Dean cried out, ejaculating all over their stomachs.

Sam fell into a puddle of goo next to Dean. That was the best sex he had ever had. He was just sorry he hurt Dean during the end of it. Reaching over he gently ran a hand on the bite mark.

"God, I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay, Sammy," said Dean reassuringly. "I actually liked it. Don't worry."

Seeing Dean's sated face and reassuring smile made Sam feel better about biting Dean. He spooned Dean to his side and wrapped his arms around him.

"Dean, that was…"

"Amazing," said Dean before falling asleep, taking the words right out of Sam's mouth.

**TBC**

**One chapter to go till epic fight! Stay tuned to see how it ends.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Sorry it took so long to post this chapter but like Rome, a good boss fight (my brother's words, not mine.) was not made in a day. Hopefully it was worth the wait for all of you.**

**Chapter 29: Dona Nobis Pachem**

Sam woke an hour or so before dawn. Dean was fast asleep next to him. Sam spent several minutes studying his lover. It was amazing how peaceful Dean is while sleep. He didn't look like the battle hardened soldier he was. He looked more like a man like any other. The scowl and worry lines on his face were gone and instead were softened by relaxed muscles. It was rare that Dean wasn't frowning or worried, and each time was with Sam, and even when he was with Sam, Sam could see the cogs in Dean's head moving, going over defense reports, inventory and death lists.

Sam had to feel sorry for his lover. Dean was thirty-eight years old and had the whole world on his shoulders. He was the real life version of John Conner. Both of them were. They knew their whole lives that there was evil in the world and it wanted to take over, and Judgment Day came down. Both did the best they could to keep together a dying race.

And now Sam was going to put one last plug in the dam.

Dean didn't know the entire plan. Sam didn't tell him because he knew that Dean would disagree, but Castiel knew and so did Chuck. They had been the only two Sam trusted with the plan, because it was the only plan that could work. All three knew it and if they had brought Dean in on it he would have been the one to vehemently refuse and look for other options, but there weren't any others. Sam had thought of them all and none would work.

For the world to be saved, Sam would have to sacrifice himself.

Without waking Dean, Sam crawled out of bed and silently dressed. Picking up his duffle, Sam walked out of the cabin, silently closing the door so to not disturb Dean. He quietly walked toward the main gate, avoiding the patrol walking the fence as he did.

He had just reached the gate when he heard footsteps behind him. Quickly he turned to face the person, his hand on his knife, only to find Castiel standing behind him in his stupid Hawaiian shirt and blue jeans. He gave Sam his familiar stoned smile.

"Going without saying goodbye?" Castiel asked.

Sam hitched the lowering duffle back on his shoulder.

"Easier this way," he said.

"And leave us to deal with the clean up?"

He meant Dean. He could have only meant Dean.

"It's for the best," said Sam running a hand through his hair. Then he laughs. "So, end of the Apocalypse coming, Devil going back in the cage, what're you going to do?"

"I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol, wait for the inevitable blast wave."

Sam laughs.

"Thanks, Bukoswi," he said and paused. "Hey, Cas, you're not disgusted that Dean and I…I mean…"

He gave Sam a smile. The kind of smile that said he'd back Sam up against anything.

"Sam, love is love. Why should we put labels on it? I know for a fact God doesn't care about sexual orientation. Like any parent, he's happy when his children find love."

Sam laughs again, this time not so merrily but in a sad manner.

"Yeah, well, some parents aren't so understanding," he said before turning back to Castiel seriously. "Take care of him, okay?"

"I will," said Castiel and Sam walked out.

It took him two hours but he finally made it to a car that had keys in the ignition and he drove out. He didn't have far to go. His destination is still in state. He had known for years on where to go if he wanted a meet with Lucifer, and he spent years avoiding it.

But there was no avoiding it. To fix everything Sam broke, he had to go there and pray for a miracle.

Sam drove into Stull Cemetery and park. He looked around at the old, mossed over and cracked tombstones. It didn't look like the ideal place for the showdown of the end of the world, but that's where all the angels and demons said it would go down. It felt right to end it here.

Sam took a deep breath before speaking.

"I'm here, Lucy. Let's talk."

"Knew you'd talk to me eventually, I just didn't think it would take six years. I thought it would be sooner."

Sam turned to find Lucifer standing behind him. The angel's skin was checkered with lesions and some even hanging in flaps.

"You look like shit," said Sam.

"Well, you look like a right ol' Oscar the Grouch."

Sam let the comment pass. He felt like Oscar the Grouch.

"Ready to give me your answer?" asked Lucifer.

"Just answer me one question first. Why? Why use the virus. You have enough power to snuff out the entire human race with just a snap of your fingers. Why the virus?"

"The virus just brings out what humans really are. Violent hateful savages. They're the monsters, Sam, not the things you were hunting. They wage wars, kill people and steal just for the own petty greed. The monsters you hunted did because it's their instinct. It's what they have to do to survive. So tell me, Sammy, who's more deserving to live?"

"So this was an angelic version of a temper tantrum? Very mature."

Lucifer shrugged with a smirk.

"We all have our versions of entertainment. This is mine."

Sam took a deep breath to control his anger. It was true that the creatures he hunted killed people because it was their instinct or because they had no other way to live, but then there were those that went against their nature, like Lenora and her family of vampires. Sam commended them on continuing their "vegan" diet and left them in peace.

It was also true that humans were not the perfect species. They make mistakes and hurt others for no other reason than their personal gain, but they learn from their mistakes and try to make up for them. Humans were full of emotions that sometimes didn't make sense and they blame people for all the wrong reasons. After all, they were only human. They were vulnerable, they get hurt and at times they go down, but somehow they always find the courage to pick themselves up, pick up the pieces and try to put them back together. Because that's what being human means.

"I think I would take the humans," he said.

"Is this why you asked me here? To chat?"

"I want to say yes," said Sam. Lucifer looked at him with interest.

"And what gave you this interesting change of mind," he asked.

"I've been avoiding the inevitable," said Sam with a shrug. "The train's pulled in and is waiting for passengers. Might as well hop on board. But not before I make some requests."

Lucifer looked at him skeptically.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning the group of people I've been staying with for the last year, I want your word that you'll harm them in no way, shape or form. I know you've been keep tabs on me, I'm not stupid. You harm them, and the deals off."

"By the Horsemen's rings in your pocket?" Sam looked at him in surprise. "Some on, Sam. I'm not stupid either. I know you wouldn't agree to see me without some sort of backup plan. Come on, Sam. I've never lied to you. You could at least pay me the same respect. It's okay. I'm not mad. A wrestling match inside your noggin... I like the idea. Just you and me, one round, no tricks. You win, you jump in the hole. I win... Well, then I win. What do you say, Sam? A fiddle of gold against your soul says I'm better than you."

"Okay, deal."

"Sam!"

Sam turned in shock to see Dean run out of his Jeep and run up to Sam. He had been too preoccupied with Lucifer to notice the car driving up. Lucifer started laughing.

"Oh, look. Lover boy."

"Dean, what are you doing here?! Stay back!"

"You think I didn't know about this place too? I've been avoiding this place for as long as you have. Sam, what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Dean," said Sam, knowing he didn't have long before Lucifer took him over. Lucifer held his hands up in surrender.

"What the hell, I'm a sucker for heart break, but only because I know I'm separating you two for eternity. Go ahead. Kiss lover boy goodbye."

"Shut the fuck up, asshole," said Dean running to Sam and grabbed his arms. "Sam, what the hell are you doing? What about the plan?"

"This is the plan, Dean," said Sam. "This is the only one that could ever work. I knew you wouldn't let me…"

"Fuck yeah I wouldn't, because it's a shit-faced plan. Why didn't you tell me? What are you trying to prove?"

"It's my mistake, Dean, and I got to fix it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I have to. I need to make it right…"

"Not this way, Sammy. We can think of something else."

"There is no other way, Dean. Even Chuck and Cas said it's the only one we got. I'm sorry." Sam reached up and cupped Dean's face in his hands, looking at his lover's pleading green eyes. He wished more than anything he could erase the look on Dean's face, and it was even worse knowing he was the one that was causing it, but he had no other choice. He leaned down and gently kissed Dean's lips. "I love you."

"Then don't do this," pleaded Dean.

Sam shook his head and forced himself not to cry.

"I'm sorry," he said and turned to Lucifer. "Yes."

"NO!" yelled Dean as light filled the cemetery. Sam felt himself drop to the ground.

It was a strange feeling, Lucifer entering his mind. When Meg had possessed him, he was completely unaware of what was happening. He did catch snips of what happened, but Lucifer kept his senses active. He supposed it was the Devil's way of dicking with him.

He supposed he must have blacked out for a moment because the next thing he knew was Dean leaning over him, shaking him urgently and repeatedly saying his name.

"Sam! Sammy! Sammy!"

"Sammy's not home right now." His mouth moved. It was his voice that he heard, but it wasn't his words. Not him speaking them. Lucifer had taken him over. "But if you leave a message he'll get back to you." He smirked. "Or not."

"You son of a bitch," said Dean stepping back and glaring at Lucifer as he stood up.

"Since I never had a mother, I don't think that applies to me." He looked down at Sam's flannel shirt, torn blue jeans and scuffed hiker boots Sam wore. "This is what you primates call fashion? How barbaric." He snapped his fingers and he changed into a pristine white suit and white loafers. "That's better."

"Why?" asked Dean.

"What has been prophesied can never be avoided," said Lucifer. "You know Sam asked me to leave your piss ant camp alone."

Dean looked surprised at him.

"He did?"

"But I'm not. I'll kill every last monkey here on Earth, then swing into Heaven and destroy everything my father worked to create."

"I won't let you," said Dean pulling out an Angel Sword.

"I know, and that's why I'm going to kill you."

Lucifer flung his hand and the Angel Sword flew from Dean's hand with a jerk. He flung his hand again and Dean was thrown against Sam's car, landing hard on the windshield. Groaning, Dean rolled off the car and fell hard to the ground.

"Sammy…"

Lucifer walked over and kicked Dean hard in the stomach. Dean gasped out a painful groan and rolled away from the assault.

"Sammy…"

"Sammy's not going to answer," said Lucifer fisting Dean's hair and pulling him up to throw him against the car. "But he's here. He'll feel everything. The feeling of his fist connecting to your face, the sounds of you pleading to deaf ears, and know that there isn't a single thing he can do about it."

He punched Dean, continually, until Dean's face was an unrecognizable mess, and he continued to punch him. Blood flowed from cuts on his cheeks, forehead, mouth and nose. His eyes were swollen shut by Lucifer's knuckles and he spat out three teeth.

Lucifer pulled back his fist for another punch, but Dean grabbed it and held on. Dean looked up at him forgiving and loving.

"It's okay," he said through bloody gums and a bitten tongue. "It's okay, Sam. I'm here. I'm not going to leave you. Never going to leave you."

Lucifer's lips pulled back in a snarl and he shook off Dean's hand.

"Foolish maggot!" he said pulling back for another punch.

"Sammy, do you remember when we first met?" said Dean. "Not Stanford. From…from when we were kids. Do you remember?"

Lucifer suddenly stiffened, unable to stop the memory from being pulled up from the corner of Sam's brain. Or maybe it was Dean's. He didn't know. All he did know was that he couldn't stop the images from playing like a television program.

_ Dean looked up as he heard the rumble of a car pull up. His father had said a man new to the hunter world would stay with them for a while to learn the ropes and that Dean was to help out as much as he could and stay out of the way when told. Even at six Dean knew a lot about the world he was growing up in, but mostly on how to handle a knife and where to aim said knife when attacked. John wouldn't let him touch a gun yet. _

_ Car doors opened and closed, and footsteps approached the cabin. Even through the doors Dean could hear the wind cry around the wooden walls._

_ It was only when the doors opened that Dean realized the crying wasn't from the wind, but by the baby in the second man's arms as he and Dean's father walked in. The man who walked in looked like he hadn't slept in days and the crying baby certainly wasn't helping._

_ "Dean," said John and Dean looked up at his father. "This is Jared Wesson and his son Sammy. You'll watch him as I train Jared, you hear, boy?"_

_ "Yes, sir," said Dean. He looked over at the screaming baby. "Wha's wrong with him?"_

_ "Long trip," said Jared. "He's tired but he won't settle down."_

_ "Dean was like that," said John. "I just let him cry till he's asleep. Nothing else to do."_

_ "Can I hold him," Dean asked nervously. He had never held a baby before but for some reason he wanted to hold the toddler in the large man's arms. _

_ "Sure, kid," said Jared. "Go sit on the couch." Dean did and waited for Jared to place Sammy into his arms. "Just hold him close and talk softly to him. Baby's don't like loud noises."_

_ "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," said Dean and accepted the baby. Sammy squirmed in his arms but Dean held on gently but firmly. "It's okay, Sammy. It's okay. No one's going to hurt you."_

_ Almost immediately, Sammy stopped crying and looked up at Dean with wide innocent eyes. Dean was held captivated by the brilliant hazel in those eyes and knew he'd give his life to protect this baby._

_ "My name's Dean, Sammy," he said. "And I won't let anyone hurt you."_

_ DEAN!_

Sam wrestled Lucifer and took control of his body. He looked down at Dean's bloody form in shock. Dear God, he hurt Dean.

"I'm sorry, Dean," he said reaching out to Dean's face. The instant his fingers touch Dean's bloody skin the wounds healed and the blood disappeared. Dean stared up at him with clear green eyes.

"Sam?"

"It's okay, Dean. It's gonna be okay. I've got him."

Standing, Sam closed his eyes and concentrated on his new angelic powers. Searching the world he found each and every person infected with the Croat virus and killed them. He could at least do this for the world.

When he finished he dug the rings out of his pocket. He could feel Lucifer scratching around the wall he created, trying to take control of his body again. Sam didn't have a lot of time. He tossed the ring on the ground.

"_Bvtmon...Tabges...Babalon."_

A vortex appeared where the rings were and Sam walked toward it.

"Sam, no!"

Sam looked back as Dean got to his feet. The anxiousness and hurt on his face tore Sam apart but he had to do this, or Lucifer was going to take him over again and then everything would end.

"Goodbye, Dean," he said.

And he fell.

**TBC**

_-Bvtmon Tabges Babalon._: OPEN THE MOUTH OF THE CAVE TO THE WICKED...

- Dona Nobis Pachem: Grant us peace


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30: The Last Sam Wiess**

He was falling. The last face in his sights was Dean reaching for him as the hole closed above him. He was actually fine with that. He wanted Dean to be the last person he saw before he spent eternity in the Devil's Pit. Through it could have been without the terrified look on his face.

Suddenly he felt something yank him up. He felt Lucifer being torn from him as he pulled out of the pit and his vision went blinding white. He closed his eyes against the light but it seemed to pierce his eye balls.

Then the light dimmed. Sam opened up his eyes and looked around in shock.

"What the hell?"

It was his nursery, exactly as he had seen it in the visions Azazel gave him during the special children try-outs. His crib by the window, the star and moon mobile slowly spinning above it, a dresser full of baby clothes set against the wall and a changing table against the other wall, and baby toys set on shelves.

Standing, Sam turned in a full circle to take in his surroundings. It was all the same as his vision, down to the blue curtains with the teddy bears. Only the windows were different. They were completely covered with a white light. It made everything brighter, including the room. Sam could barely look around without squinting.

He heard a sound clicking downstairs. Glass clicking and then a clicking noise, like a type writer. Slowly, he walked to the door and opened the door and came to a hallway. Pictures hung on the wall and there was a staircase at the end of it. He walked down the hall and down the staircase, always keeping an eye out for any kind of ambush. He didn't have a weapon but he was confident he could hold his own if needed.

He slowly descended the stairs, listening not only for any other noises but also any creaky steps. He remembered his father telling him about the fifth step up had a loose board. When it came to remembering the past, as few and far between as they were, Sam's father's was a drunken chatterbox. Sometimes he would be reduced to a blubbering mess and Sam was left to put his passed out father in to bed and clean up the bottles.

True to his father's descriptions, the step fifth up creaked as he put his weight on it and Sam froze. He listened for any pause in the typing noise but it continued to clack-clack-clack away. He stepped down the last few steps and looked in the living room.

It looked like any ideal living room. A light red couch faced a television with a matching chair and coffee table. A bookshelf was set on one side of the fire place and pictures decorated the top shelves. Pictures of the same man and woman and a few of a baby. Sam guessed they were pictures of him and his parents.

Sam looked in the kitchen. It looked like a normal kitchen with a table in the middle of the floor. A bottle of Jim Beam and two glasses sat on the table and sitting at the table with his back to Sam was a man wearing all white typing away at a typewriter. A man that looks suspiciously like….

"Chuck?"

"Hello, Sam," said Chuck pouring the Beam into the glasses and held a glass out for him. "Drink?"

"Where the hell am I," asked Sam as he sat down. "And why the hell are you here?"

"What do you remember Sam," asked Chuck lifting his glass and took a sip.

"Dean, falling, Lucifer," he said and froze in realization. "Lucifer! Is he…"

"In the Pit," said Chuck. "Don't worry. Your mind's your own. You saved the world, well that world."

Sam looked around the house. "Then is this…"

"Heaven? No. This is more like a…way station. Yeah, it's a way station."

"Then I'm dead?" asked Sam looking at Chuck.

"In that universe, yes you are. Sorry, Sam."

Sam looked down at his drink solemnly. He knew that it was a one way trip when he decided to use himself to put the Devil back in the cage, but now that he was realizing it he was emotionally numb.

"If this is a way station, as you say," said Sam still getting around the surroundings he found himself in, "then why are you here?"

"You're smart, Sam," said Chuck typing away again. "You figure it out."

Sam scoffed. "What? You're God?"

Chuck gave Sam a smirk.

"You got it," he said.

Sam was about to laugh until he saw the seriousness on Chuck's face. He thought about everything he had heard about Chuck. The people around camp said he was a prophet and that he kept records of everything. He also remembered the times when Chuck seemed to know things before they happened or read a person's thoughts when they were troubled. During some of the talking he and Dean did, Dean mentioned that Chuck was a famous writer of a small books series _Supernatural_. It detailed events in Sam's and Dean's lives.

And then he remembered Chuck approving of his and Dean's relationship days after Sam and Dean had gotten together.

Chuck was God?

"Holy fu…I mean…uh…"

Chuck started laughing.

"Don't worry. I've been on Earth since its creation, I've heard every word there is. Even invented a few. Where do you think supercalifragilisticexpialidocious came from?"

Sam laughed. He was actually sharing jokes with God. Christians dreamed about this stuff, though they didn't imagine him as a paranoid drunk.

"So, where to for me next? Hell?"

Chuck looked at him, intrigued.

"Do you want to go to Hell?"

God, no. "I just thought that because of the demon blood…"

"You thought that because Azazel gave you his blood and you have demon powers you get an automatic ticket to Hell," said Chuck still typing. Sam tried to make out the words but they were unfamiliar to him. "I allow people into Heaven based on their actions, not by what has happened to them. You have spent your whole life using your powers to help others, not to harm them. That had made you okay in my book."

"But me and Dean…"

"Do you remember what Castiel told you?"

Sam nodded. "He said God was like a parent. He…You just want your children to be happy."

"And you said that not all parents are like that." Sam hung his head. "You're right. Some parents throw their children aside for the stupidest things, like homosexuality. They can't see their children lying with another of the same sex and throw them away, saying it's an act against God." He scoffed. "As if they know me. I have no problem in it. I even tried it a couple times myself, as a man and a woman."

"You were a woman?!" said Sam in shock.

"Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it. Aside from the emotional train wrecks, it wasn't that bad. I even had a kid."

Sam laughs, thinking of a little demigod running Chuck's feet as he attempted to play house dad.

"House mom," said Chuck. "I was a woman when I had a child."

Sam's face flushed.

"Don't do that," he said.

"Not like I can turn it off. I am God after all."

"God's name is Chuck," he said with a laugh.

"Yep," said Chuck laughing with him.

"Now what? Where do we go now?"

"I think the better question is where do you go?"

Sam looked at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Door number one," said Chuck pointing to the back door, "will take you straight to Heaven. You'll be with your loved ones. Your mother, father, Bobby, Jessica, all of them. Door number two," this time he pointed to the front door, "will take you to another universe."

"Universes? As in plural?"

"You didn't think that was the only one?" said Chuck. "There are thousands upon thousands of universes. Each decision people make creates a new one."

"Like cause and effect," said Sam, knowing a bit about multiple universes. There were many theories on it, like what would happen if the British won the revolutionary war or Martin Luther King Jr. never made his march.

"Exactly. There are many different possibilities. Like in one you're not born, one you and Dean are brothers, and in another you're a woman." Sam blanched at the thought. "There are many possibilities. Like what if your mother never made that deal with Azazel and allowed your father to stay dead. What then?"

Sam thought for a moment.

"Then, I guess I'd never have been born," he said.

"Exactly, she would go back to her life as a hunter and live a lonely life hunting and killing until she dies childless from a werewolf at forty-five. Lucifer would have never been popped from the box and the world would have been safe."

"And Jessica's alive?" said Sam hopefully.

Chuck nods.

"Yes, there are a few where Jessica is still alive." Sam's sighed in relief. The knowledge that somewhere Jessica was alive, even if it was another universe. "And you marry the same person in each universe. Except for the one where you're never born and one other. That much is certain."

"What other?" asked Sam.

"Remember when Jake snapped your spine?" Sam nodded. "You stayed dead."

Sam's face dropped. His death that Dean made a deal with a demon to prevent, because even though they saw each other a few times and hardly knew anything about each other, Dean loved him and had sworn since childhood to protect him. Dean took all his promises seriously. Sam hated Dean's delusions of grandeur at times and wished he's stop making himself as the world's punching bag.

"Dean didn't save me?" he asked.

"He didn't. He threw himself into hunting and got killed four months later. Werewolf."

Sam nodded. He didn't want to think about that. _His_ Dean was alive. That's what he had to focus on.

"The person I marry, was it Jessica?"

"No." Sam looked up at him in surprise. "It was Dean."

"In every universe…"

"Dean."

Sam paused to process. He hadn't even known Dean existed until after the fire. If Jessica had not been killed by the fire, then how did he meet Dean? Obviously the only answer was that he and Jessica broke up, but what happened after that?

"Too many scenarios for me to tell you," said Chuck. Sam glared up at him.

"Stop that," he said.

Chuck looked at him apologetically.

"Sorry. Omnipotent remember?"

"Dean is my universal soul mate," said Sam in amused shock.

"I have seen every universe and I can tell you the statics behind that are astronomical. I mean like a trillion to one."

"My love life got sized down to a mathematical equation."

"Soul mates are a very rare thing, Sam. Once they find each other, they can't live without each other. Like missing half of yourself."

"So, Dean… He'll die soon, because I died."

Chuck looked at him heartbroken. Suddenly Sam didn't want to hear the answer, because he already knew it.

"So, what'll it be, Sam?" asked Chuck after a minute of silence. "Heaven or a second chance?"

Sam thinks for a long time. He truly misses his parents and friends. He would love more than anything to be with them. He could live in Heaven without a worry or trouble. It sounded perfect.

But no Dean. Dean who would spend years by himself until he couldn't stand to be away from Sam anymore. Dean's smile. Dean's laugh. His touches. His kisses.

Suddenly, Sam remembered a story he heard in elementary school. A guy walks down the road and comes to a fork in the road and a man stood in front of the sign. When the man asked which lead to the town of truthful people the stranger answered the left one. How would the man know if the stranger was telling the truth?

"If I pick the front door, what'll be there waiting for me?" he asked.

"Truthfully, I don't know. If you do choose that door, be prepared for anything."

It was as good an answer as he was going to get. Standing, Sam went to the door.

"Sam." Sam turned back to Chuck. "The demon blood, it'll still be in you. You'll still have your powers and your life span will be longer than that of a human. You'll be moving the whole time."

Sam laughs.

"Sounds like life to me," he said before reaching for the door.

Sam paused for a moment as Chuck took a drink. They were probably the same questions thousands of other people would ask him. Universal questions that people have been wanting to know since the day of time. The meaning of life kind of crap.

Then Sam looked back on his life, and knew the answers to all of them. Strange how the hardest questions have the simplest answers.

He smiles up at Chuck.

"See you next time, man," he said.

Chuck smiled back.

"See you, Sam," he said.

Sam opened the door and walked through.

**TBC**

-"The Last Sam Wiess" was an episode in the TV series "Fringe." Sam Weiss was an owner of a bowling alley but acted as a counselor of sorts to main heroine Olivia Dunham, guiding her through her traumatic car accident and listened to her problems.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31: At the Beginning**

Sam could hear the rushing of the demon's blood in his ears as the woman in front of her writhed in pain. Her chest flashing as Sam slowly killed her. He could also hear Ruby shout her encouragement to him as he killed the woman.

"That's it, Sam. You're doing it!"

Sam was confused for a moment. Doing what? Wasn't he at Camp Chitaqua a moment ago? A second later he wondered why he should be at a camp. He was here to kill Lilith and stop the Apocalypse.

Then he remembered. He was Sam Winchester now, but he was Sam Wesson, the man who started the Apocalypse, then God gave him another chance to make things right. To stop the Apocalypse and now here he was. The memories of his alternate life flooded through his head.

He wasn't stopping the Apocalypse. He was starting it! Ruby lied to him.

Images flashed in his head. Men fighting Croatoan and living in refugee camps. Him laughing with his squad, Lilly and Alli. Holding Dean close as they made love. But he also remembered being Dean's younger brother, who got out of hunting for four years, went to college, met a girl and fell in love before it all tore apart. For a frightening moment he didn't know who he was. Was he Sam Winchester, son of John and Mary Winchester? Or Sam Wesson, bringer of the Apocalypse?

With that last thought he tore himself away from Lilith, realizing why the scene looked familiar. This was how he started the End of Days. By killing Lilith, with Ruby's help.

"What the hell are you doing, Sam!" yelled Ruby. "Kill her!"

Sam turns to her, furious.

"You lying bitch!" he yelled, catching Ruby by surprise.

"Excuse me?"

He advances toward her, keeping the seal around Lilith to keep her from escaping. "You really think I wouldn't find out? About how you're pulling me on your little string, like your puppet. You perverted everything I believe in, and made it sound like it was for the greater good!"

There was a pounding on the door.

"Sam! Sam!"

"Dean?" Sam said in shock. Dean was here? "Dean!"

"You need to finish it, Sam!" yelled Ruby. "You need to finish her!"

With his mind, Sam grabbed her by her throat and reviled in Ruby gasping for air.

"You both were very clever," he said looking between the two women. Lilith glared up at him, struggling to get out of her meat suit as Ruby gasped for breath. "Using me to unlock the last seal. The first and the last had to be the same. The others didn't make a difference. Over six hundred possible seals and you only need to open sixty-six of them, but the first and last two were important. "A righteous man shall spill the blood of the innocent in the fires of Hell" and "the first demon shall be the last seal". The seal's in you, Lilith. And I'm afraid I can't let it be broken."

"No!" yelled Lilith. She tried to attack Sam but Sam flung her away with a swing of her arm and a push of power. She landed with a thud against the alter. He could hear Dean struggling to get in the room.

"I can't let you try this again," he said. "I will seal you in that body and you will walk this Earth for eternity. Never grow old. Never dying. And no powers to control the will of others. I am deeply sorry for the woman you have taken as your vessel, but it is necessary to save the world."

"NO!" screamed Lilith as Sam used the last of his powers to bind her to the woman and cut off her powers. With a groan she slid to the ground, unconscious. With the last of his powers drained he was unable to keep hold of Ruby and Ruby was once again free.

"No! NO!" she yelled. "You can't do this! He must be freed! He must!"

She ran to him as the doors broke open and Dean walked in with the demon killing knife. She turned him in surprised. Sam grabbed her by the arms and Dean plunged the knife in her stomach. Ruby gasped as sparks danced around her torso and she slide to the floor. Dead.

Sam looked up at Dean. His lover in one reality, his brother in this one. Did Dean remember that reality or did he only know this one with Sam as nothing more than his brother? No, he couldn't have. God only made the deal with him. Sam wanted Dean to have a normal live again.

Dean looked up at Sam for a moment, as if studying him. Sam remembered that in this reality, they had a huge fight before Sam stormed out. He was suddenly afraid Dean was still angry at him. Then Dean walked over Ruby and pulled Sam in a hug. Sam immediately wrapped his arm around Dean, like he had done when they were together in the other reality.

"I'm sorry, Dean," he said, not knowing if he meant about the fight or leaving him behind. "I'm so sorry."

"Damn it, Sam, don't ever do something like that again!" he said.

"I'm sorry, Dean. You were right. She played me."

"No." Dean pulled away and looked up at Sam. "I meant don't ever leave me like that ever again. I don't care if you're setting things right. If you ever leave me standing like that again, I'll kill you."

"Dean…" was all Sam could say before Dean pulled him down for a kiss. Sucking in a surprised breathe Sam grabbed Dean around the neck and kissed back, both with a deep aching passion. And love. Without a doubt he knew this was the Dean he thought he was forced to leave behind, but had somehow followed him. He pulled back with a gasp of air and rested his forehead on Dean's. "God…."

"Gave me a choice," said Dean "Said we could be together if I wanted, he said that there would be a snag but I didn't care. I wanted you. I wanted to remember us. I took it."

"We're brothers here, Dean," said Sam sadly.

"God wouldn't have suggested it if he didn't know. And I didn't care about the snag. I love you, more than anything. I would rather die then forget."

Sam kissed him again. His heart soared when he heard what Dean had sacrificed to be with him. Sam had thought he would never see Dean, his Dean, again, and here he was. To know that Dean does and wanted him despite them being brothers made Sam the happiest man on Earth.

A groaned made them turn to Lilith slowly getting off the floor.

"Lilith?" asked Dean and Sam nodded.

"I bound her to the body and cut her from her powers. Never again will she be able to release Lucifer."

Dean looked up at Sam and for a moment Sam feared it was in distain, but the look in Dean's eyes weren't of hate, but of pride.

"I'll call Bobby," he said. "We'll work out arrangements for her."

Sam nodded and grabbed Lilith as Dean made the call. He wouldn't say anything with Lilith in earshot but the act of binding Lilith exhausted him. He wanted nothing more to pass out on the spot and sleep for a week.

"Got enough juice to zap us to Bobby's," asked Dean after they handcuffed and gagged Lilith.

Sam paused for a moment. "I think I do."

Taking Dean's arm gently he took them to Bobby's, and nearly passed out as they stumbled in the kitchen, frightening Bobby within an inch of his life.

"What the bloody hell…" he gasped when he spotted them. "How did you get here?"

"On the wings of a dove," said Dean and shoved Lilith toward him. "Put her in the panic room. I need to get Sam to lie down."

"Who's this?" asked Bobby taking Lilith who was struggling against her bindings.

"Lilith," said Dean as he led Sam up the stairs. "Explain later."

He led Sam up the stairs and into the spare room. The last thing Sam felt was the soft mattress under him and Dean's gentle kiss.

"I'll be back in a bit," he promised. "I love you, Sammy."

"Dean…" was all Sam could say before sleep claimed him.

XXXXXXX

Sam woke up with a jerk, ready for any attack as he was accustomed to waking up as for the last five years. He looked around and found himself fin Bobby's spare room. For a moment he was confused. Why wasn't he at camp?

Then he remembered. His deal with God and stopping the Apocalypse. In this reality, he hadn't spent five years running from Croats and fighting within an inch of his life. He was safe. The world was safe.

He was free.

The door opened and for a moment he feared a Croat or a demon would walk in, but it was only Dean. Sam just stared at him, still amazed that he had Dean with him to help him adjust to this world. Without a second thought he threw off the covers, crossed the room and kissed Dean soundly on the mouth. Dean returned the kiss before pulling away.

"Bobby's downstairs," he said. Sam nodded. Unlike in the other world they had to be careful about what they do around the people that know them. Dean gave him a small kiss before pulling away. "I told Bobby partly what happened. It's weird, having two sets of memories like this."

"You're telling me," said Sam and they sat on the bed. Sam unconsciously leaned into Dean and Dean didn't protest.

"I told Bobby about the seal and locking Lilith in the body," said Dean. "I said you used the last of the demon blood in you to do it. He cursed up a storm but understood. He's contacting his old Hunter friends to make a cell or something for her."

"She doesn't have any powers. She can't hurt people anymore."

"Yeah, not with her evil Sith mind powers, but she's smart, Sam. She can figure out a way to torture someone for days without killing them. The best thing to do is lock her up and throw away the key."

Sam sighed, but also knew Dean was right. Even without her powers Lilith was too dangerous to be let loose.

"What are we going to do now?" he asked.

"We stopped the Apocalypse, but evil's still out there. We do what we always do. Protect."

Sam sighed and placed his head in the crook of Dean's neck, breathing in Dean's scent as deep as he could. Leather and sandalwood. That hadn't changed. He wanted to take as much comfort from Dean as he could before they were forced to take on the brother role.

Dean was thinking the same thing as he held Sam for a minute before letting go.

"Come on, Bobby's waiting," he said.

With a nod Sam stood, Dean gave him a quick kiss for encouragement and they walked out, not lovers but brothers.

It was surprisingly easy to switch roles. Sam and Dean told their new version stories and Bobby seemed to believe them. He locked Lilith in the panic room, which he was surprised to find her able to walk through, and called one of his Hunter buddies who specialized in cages. He assured Bobby he'd have a suitable cage made within a week.

It also didn't surprise Bobby that Sam and Dean took the week off from hunting. They helped Bobby in his garage and restocked in supplies and mostly relaxed. Sam delved into Bobby's books more, which surprised the older man, looking up on anything he could get his hands on. He also seemed to sleep more than Dean, something that was very out of character for him. Sam told him it was the fight with Lilith and that it exhausted him and Bobby took it.

"You know we'll have to get back in action, right," said Dean the day after they caged Lilith. She was being transported to the newly rebuilt Roadhouse to be watched over by Ellen and Jo. The thought of the mother/daughter duo still alive gladdened Sam and he insisted on visiting them on the first chance. Dean agreed as well and they would take Lilith to the Roadhouse to be stashed in the club's basement.

"Yeah," said Sam with his head on Dean's arm. Because of Bobby they had to keep their relationship now to stolen kisses and caresses, but Sam didn't mind. Just the sight of Dean made him feel better and encouraged him to continue on.

"Dean, about the trip to the Roadhouse…."

"What about?" asked Dean running his hand through Sam's hair.

"We go through Minneapolis…."

Dean instantly picked up on what Sam was saying. "You want to check on them?" Sam nodded. "All right. I'm curious on what they're doing too."

The next day they headed out, the drive only taking them about a day. They stuffed Lilith in the trunk, bound and gagged, and headed for the Roadhouse.

During the ride they stopped in Minneapolis and pulled into a café. There they saw Alli serving Lucy in her nurse's uniform working on a term paper. She wasn't even looking up at Alli as the other woman served her coffee.

"So different," said Dean next to him. "And yet so the same."

"Yeah," said Sam.

He watched as Alli walked past Lucy to serve another customer, and with a small mental nudge, Sam tripped her and spilled the coffee around Lucy. Both women looked at each other in shock before Lucy helped Alli clean up. Like Sam knew there would be, there was immediate connection between the two women.

Dean looked at Sam. "You did that, didn't you?" he asked. "You tripped her."

Sam nodded. "They deserve happiness, in any reality."

Dean smiled over at him and took Sam's hand in his, gently rubbing the back of it with his thumb. "You really are something else, you know that, Sammy?"

Sam smiled back at him. "I may not know what I am, but I do know who I am. I'm human, freaky powers and all."

**TBC**


	32. Epilogue

**Epilogue: Being Human**

"Sam, look out!"

Sam barely registered Dean's warning before the Lamia threw him head over heels and into the wall. Even with his demonic powers, he could exorcise ghost, demons and other Christian monsters easily, but when it came to other mythologies, the best he could do was toss, and be tossed, around. He barely heard Dean on the phone with Bobby.

He looked up to see Dean gathering salt and rosemary and tossed it at the Lamia, then pull out the gas line from behind the stove.

"Sammy, need a spark here!" yelled Dean.

Sam mentally threw a spark into the gas and the gas erupted into a jet of flame. The Lamia screeched as Dean cooked it well in the flames. Dean gathered Sam up as the fire spread and they ran out the door toward the Impala.

"Remind me to get the best bottle of Scotch for Bobby when we get back," said Dean as they climbed in the car.

"Agreed," said Sam and winced when he sat down.

"Something wrong?" asked Dean in concern as they drove away.

"I think I landed on something," said Sam. He ran his hands down his thighs to check the injury and hissed. "That's gonna leave a bruise."

"Don't worry, I rub it for you," said Dean with a wink and Sam chuckled.

Dean and Sam had been hunting together for six months, both getting back into the swing of things and trying out their new partnership. Both found they could easily get accustomed to fighting with each other, and at each other. The Sam and Dean from their new reality had a routine that seemed to work that made it easy to get along.

It had also been six months since they made love, since coming to this new reality. They still slept in the same bed, that much Dean insisted on, but Sam was hesitant to go further. The knowledge that Dean was now his brother disturbed him. Dean was patient, reminding Sam that God put them together, with their previous lives memories, for a reason, but Sam knew the patience was growing thin. Sam could hear Dean jack off in the bathroom after waking up to a morning hard on or in the evenings before bed. Sam had suggested on help each other out, but Dean refused, saying he'd wait for Sam to get his mind on this. It amazed Sam further that Dean didn't go to anyone else, not that Sam blamed him if he did. Instead he stayed by Sam's side the whole time.

They got to the hotel and walked in, or in Sam's case hobbled. They set their things on the table and Dean led Sam to the single bed.

"Lay down," he ordered. Sam smirked.

"Careful, I just might fall asleep on you," he said lying on the bed.

"You just might," said Dean working Sam's shirt off. "I'm famous for my magic fingers."

"Prove it," said Sam shrugging off his shirt. The appearances of bruises were already starting to show. Dean reached down and unzipped Sam's jeans. Both were not modest about their bodies. They undressed around each other all the time and even slept in their boxers together. It was going farther then that that Sam was adamantly against. It wasn't that he didn't love Dean, he loved Dean more than anything, but he just needed to sort his new life out.

Sam rolled onto his stomach and Dean hissed. "What is it?" he asked.

"Did you land on a Mac truck or something? Look at the size of this bruise!"

"What?" Sam turned and looked at the bruise on his thigh. Dean wasn't kidding. It was the size of his whole hand. "Holy shit, what did I land on?!"

"I think it was a bookshelf." Dean laughed. "I said books would hurt you."

"Shut up. Ow!"

"Hold still, you're all tense."

"I have a bruise the size of Texas on my thigh. It's not exactly comfortable."

"It appears I am interrupting something."

Both turned to see Castiel stand not far from the bed with what could only be a curious look on the angel's stoic face. A look the two men found oddly familiar on their once open book friend.

Since Lilith's capture Castiel had somehow been remade after his destruction from Chuck's archangel and appointed by God as the new head of the angelic army. At first angels were skeptical about whether or not God had really put Castiel in charge and was punished by being ostracized of their angelhood. One of who was Raphael, and to further add humiliation was placed as Lilith's guard for eternity.

Despite his new duties, Castiel still made time for the brothers and even visited Chuck on occasion, both sharing a bottle of bourbon with the angel general, never knowing he was drinking in God's presence. He answered if called upon and even came to Ellen and Jo's "The World Is Not Ending" party where they managed to get ten shots of tequila in him before he felt a faint buzz.

The angel of course did not know about the brothers' relationship, and if he did he wasn't saying anything.

"Hey, Cas," said Dean.

"Hi, Cas," said Sam.

"Sam's got a whopper of a bruise on his thigh," said Dean. "I'm easing it out of him."

"Painfully, I might add. Ow!" He reached over and smacked Dean hard in the thigh.

"Ow!"

"Now you know how I feel."

"I can heal it for you if you wish, Sam," said Castiel and Sam smiled at him gratefully.

"Can you? Oh, thank you so much, Cas!"

Castiel walked over and placed a hand on the back of Sam's thigh. Instantly the ugly bruise disappeared and Sam turned to sit on the edge of the bed, flexing his leg experimenting. He noticed Dean's disappointed look and gave him a promising wink.

"Thanks, Cas, I would have been limping for weeks," he said.

"What did you want, Cas," asked Dean, obviously irritated the angel cut into his time with Sam. Sam grinned at Dean's protective pose and picked up his pants to put back on.

"Chuck has suggested something called a "guy's night out" and I do not know how to act during such an event," said Castiel. "I came to you for help."

So the Winchesters tutored their angel friend in the honorable tradition of drinking, tomfoolery and all out merriment. Castiel listened with ramped attention and Sam could tell he didn't understand why humans would go out and get drunk just for the sake of it. Sam explained it was because they were human and having fun was a part of their nature. Castiel seemed to accept the answer and left to oversee Heaven before joining Chuck that night.

After Castiel left Dean headed toward the shower to wash the dirt and blood off him. Sam heard the water turn on and paused looking at the slightly open door.

He and Dean had taken showers together, but Sam had never instigated it. Dean would sometimes walk in while Sam was bathing and wipe Sam down. Sam loved it when Dean messaged the shampoo in his hair and Sam knew Dean like it done to him too. Dean did offer for Sam to join him when he took a bath, and kept the door slightly open in invitation, but Sam never took it. As much as he loved bathing with Dean, the act of walking in on his own troubled him.

Dean's words played around his head. _"Love shouldn't have labels."_ Back then, he understood. Man or woman, it didn't matter who you loved, but what did it mean if you loved your own brother? What did that label you?

Maybe Dean was right, even in this situation. Love shouldn't be labeled. With a deep breath he walked over to the door and opened it. He heard Dean softly humming Metallica as he washed. Stripping off his clothes he opened the curtain and Dean turned to him in surprised.

"Geez, Sam, nearly scared the life out of me," he said. "Is something wrong?"

Sam smiled down at him. "No, everything's perfect."

And he leaned down and kissed Dean. Dean kissed his back and noticed the change in Sam's behavior. Smiling in the kiss he pulled away and smiled up at Sam.

"No labels," he asked. Sam shook his head.

"No labels."

Dean leaned up and kissed Sam again, and Sam gave into the desire he had reigned in every time Dean touched or kissed him. Heat hotter than the water flowing on them spread through his body and he moaned. His skin felt super sensitive everywhere Dean touched him, and grins because only Dean could make him feel this way. Could make him feel like he was flying without his feet touching the ground.

He moaned when Dean left his lips, and sighed when he started kissing and nipping down Sam's neck. Dean's hands roamed down Sam's chest and pecs as Sam's pressed them closer, almost wanting to meld their bodies together. He gasped when Dean tweaked his nipples and slowly rubbed them hard. And he could feel Dean's arousal press against his thigh.

"Dean…."

"I know, Sammy. I know. Let me take care of you, baby."

All Sam could do was nod and Dean licked one nipple as he slowly rubs the other. Dean's other hand was holding him against the wall, preventing him from moving far. And All Sam wanted to do was move, rub himself against Dean in the most delicious ways.

Dean seemed to think the same thing, because his hand moved from Sam's hip to his arousal. Sam softly cried out as Dean ran his thumb along the head of Sam's dick, coating the digit with pre-cum.

"S-Shit, D-Dean…."

"Turn around, Sam."

Sam did without complaint. Dean messaged down Sam's back to his butt cheeks. Sam moaned as Dean gently massaged the muscles and parted them. And gasped when he felt Dean's tongue probing his hole. It was too much and he kept it in too long.

"God Dean, now please…"

"I gotta prep you first," said Dean. Sam growled.

"I don't care! Now, please! Fuck me now!"

Dean's body pressed against him and Sam moaned at the feeling of Dean's body against his.

"About fucking time," said Dean huskily.

He pushed himself into Sam. Sam cried out at the burn of Dean's penetration, but he didn't back down. He held still till his body adjusts to Dean's. When it did, Dean rode him slowly. Sam could feel every inch of Dean inside him. It was wonderful. How could he have thought to give this up because of a life path he chose? He loved Dean too much. And Dean loved him. Dean who waited patiently for Sam to figure out his place in this new world. He found it. It's with Dean. It was always with Dean.

He groaned when Dean reached around and took Sam in his hand, the other keeping hold of his hip. Sam bucked in Dean's hand.

Then Dean shifted his hips, brushing that spot inside Sam that sent a jolt through him.

"Oh God!" he gasped. He reached behind him and threaded his fingers in Dean's short blonde hair. He gasped when Dean hit the spot again.

"Go on, Sam," said Dean in his ear. "I want to see you lose it."

Dean hit the spot again and Sam cried out as he came. He felt Dean come inside him and gasped when Dean bit his shoulder, marking him as he always does.

"God, Dean, I love you," he gasped and he hung limp against his lover. Dean held him close.

"I love you too, Sammy."

Dean carefully cleaned first Sam then himself, turned off the water and carried Sam to the bed, not complaining about his taller size. Sam kept insisting on walking but Dean chuckled against it.

"How can you walk when you can barely stand?" he said. Sam sent a glare up at him but it held a look of love behind it.

They slowly kissed as they lay on the bed. Mapping every inch of each other's bodies. Every scar was different, yet new, and they remembered each encounter that acquired them. The knowledge that they remember two worlds still didn't make sense to them but it was one of the prices they paid, to remember what could have happened if things went different. They took their time with each other, loving the way they felt against each other till exhaustion took them.

It was later in their post-carnal bliss that Dean really surprised Sam.

"Marry me, Sammy."

Sam looked up at him. "What?"

"Marry me."

"But we can't. Bobby, Ellen, Jo…"

"They'll never have to know. And if they disapprove, it's not their lives. It's ours. People only witness weddings to prove they were married. I don't need to prove anything to anyone. Only you and me."

"I thought you hated labels."

"There's an exception to every rule. You are."

Sam lay spooned against Dean. Normally, he would be over thinking what marrying Dean would mean, but he didn't have to think. He already knew his decision.

"Yes. But not a marriage." Dean looked at him confused. Sam took Dean's hand in his. "A pledge. That's what a marriage is anyway, and we don't need a priest to pledge ourselves to each other."

"Are you sure?" asked Dean worried. Sam laughed.

"You asked." Dean chuckled. "So, we'll pledge to each other, here and now."

The look in Dean's eyes told Sam he agreed. "All right I, Dean Jonathan Winchester, swear that I will love you and only you, Samuel Eric Winchester, for forever and beyond. I accept you for all that you are, all your faults and goodness. For as long as I live, no other will hold your place in my heart."

Sam blinked back tears as Dean made his pledge. Bringing Dean's hand to his lips, he kissed the knuckle. "And I, Samuel Eric Winchester, swear that I will love you and only you, Dean Jonathan Winchester, for forever and beyond. I accept you for all that you all, all your faults and goodness. For as long as I live, no other will hold your place in my heart."

Sam smiled at him and pulled him into a kiss. Dean eagerly kissed him back. He felt a tingle on the ring finger of his left hand and pulled back. A mark appeared around his finger, a ring in an intricate design that no tattoo artist could accomplish. An identical mark appeared on Sam's left ring finger.

"Sam…"

"I know, but I just wanted a little bit of proof."

Dean laughed and kissed Sam again. Sam reaches over and takes out his pocket knife. He flipped it open.

"Whoa, Sam, what are you doing?" asked Dean

"If we're going to do this, I want it to be all the way." Sam made a cut down his arm, gasping as he did. "Chuck said that because of the demon blood in me, I'll live longer then a normal human life span. I want to share it with you."

"By drinking your blood," asked Dean slightly disgusted.

"It's the only way. I want us to be together, Dean. Forever."

Dean hesitated and Sam knew why. It wasn't an easy thing to accept. It took a long time for Sam to. He prayed Dean would but understood if the other man backed down.

Gently, Dean took Sam's arm and hesitantly licked the line of blood that threatened to drip off Sam's arm. Sam sucked in a breath as desire went through him at the sight of Dean licking his blood. Sam always had a blood kink, ever since Ruby, but with Dean it was different. More personal. He always wondered what it would be like if Dean drank his blood.

Dean paused briefly, as if savoring the taste of Sam's blood with an amazed look on his face. Brining Sam's arm to his mouth again, Dean drank. Sam groaned as the feeling of Dean's sucking went straight to his groin. He collapsed on the bed, his cock already hardening.

When Dean took all of Sam's blood he could get from the cut on Sam's arm, he straddled Sam and Sam put his hands on Dean's hips to steady him. He felt Dean's erection brushing against his own and he moaned pleasantly.

"God, Sammy, that was amazing!" he said. "I felt you. I felt your breath, the blood pumping in your veins, your heart beat." He put a hand on Sam's chest. "You love me. I felt that too, Sammy. I felt your love for me."

"That's what the blood does," he said. "It makes you feel everything I feel."

"Will it do the same for you? If you drank from me?"

"Yes."

Dean reached over and picked up the knife Sam dropped and held it up.

"Where do you want it?" he asked.

Sam was shocked at Dean offering Sam his blood. It was an offer Sam wasn't about the give up.

"The neck," he said eagerly. Dean chuckled.

"Knew you were a vampire." Dean reached up and carefully cut the skin between the neck and shoulder. He watched in interest as Sam's eyes darkened at the sight of the blood slowly falling from the wound. He looked up at Dean almost pleadingly. "Drink, Sammy."

Dean gasped when Sam latched onto Dean's neck, gulping down the blood. He told Sam the truth when he said he felt him. He felt Sam's love for him, his want, his desire, and he wanted Sam to feel that from Dean.

Sam moaned as he felt the blood fill his mouth and slide down his throat, but more when he felt Dean. Dean tasted so much sweeter than Ruby, than any demon he drank from under her instructions. Dean tasted like sweetness, with just a dash a spice. Everything that made up Dean.

Dean groaned and ground his hips into Sam's, trying to gain some friction. Sam clutched at his shoulders, as if afraid of letting him go. Dean runs his hands down Sam's chest and palms Sam's nipples, bringing them to hardness. Sam arches into the touch, letting go of Dean to breathe in a hiss. A drop of blood slide down Sam's chin and Dean leaned down to lick it away. He looked down at Sam expectantly.

"How was it," he asked.

"Amazing," said Sam leaning up to lick a bit of blood from the cut. Dean sighed as a shiver of pleasure ran down his spine.

"Amazing? Babe, I'm awesome."

Sam chuckled. "Yes, you are."

He rolled Dean over to lay under him and kissed him. He ran his hands down Dean's chest and thumbed his nipples. Dean arched in the touch. Sam kissed away from Dean's mouth and ran his tongue down Dean's neck to his chest, giving Dean the same attention Dean gave him in the shower. When he reached one nipple Sam licked it first before wrapping his lips around it, sucking it taunt and bite down, gently but firmly. Dean gasped and clutched the sheets under him.

Sam had to laugh. He had a blood kink and Dean likes to be bitten and to bite. Between the two of them, they were two sides of the same coin.

"Lube," he asked looking up at Dean. He knew Dean had some, having seen Dean take it to the bathroom on days when his libido was in overdrive and thought Sam didn't notice.

"My bag."

Sam got off of Dean, who groaned from the loss of contact, went to Dean's bag and searched around for the small tube. He went back to the bed and leaned down between Dean's legs.

He looked down at Dean, still amazed at the sight of his lover in complete bliss. He went back to kissing Dean's stomach as his hands uncapped the tube and he spread it out on his fingers. He circled Dean's hole as he licked Dean's navel and Dean squirmed. This wasn't going to be like before in the shower. That was a release of relief, tension and libido. This was going to be slower, gentler. He slowly slides a finger in as his other hand took Dean's cock.

Dean bucked in his hand, reached down and grabbed his shoulder, hard enough to bruise.

"Sammy…"

"Shhh," said Sam, reassuring. "We'll get there."

He takes Dean's erection in his mouth as he slides in a second finger, slowly stretching his lover. Dean's hand went from Sam's shoulder to his hair.

"God, Sam!"

Sam hummed around Dean, making the other buck under him. Sam pressed a hand down on Dean's hip, silently ordering him to keep still. Dean gasped as Sam licked up his cock and licked the precum off the slit. Sam knew it was taking all Dean had not to come at that moment. His lover was rolling on the bed, trying to fight the need to release.

Smirking, Sam slide his free hand from Dean's hip and took Dean's sack in his hand, gently rolling it. Dean cried out in pleasure and clutched around Sam's fingers. Sam moans as he gently nips the tip of Dean's erection and Dean buck.

"Please, Sam," begged Dean. "I need…."

"What is it, Dean," he asked. "What do you need?"

"You inside me, now!"

Sam smirked triumphantly. It wasn't often he got Dean to beg. After coating himself with lube he slide up to face Dean, guiding his aching erection to Dean's hole.

"Ready?" he asked.

Dean grabbed hold of him and pressed him close.

"Yes."

Slowly Sam slide himself into Dean, pausing so Dean could get used to him. Sam went slowly so he wouldn't hurt Dean. Only when he was fully sheathed inside of Dean did he stop as Dean gasped under him.

"You okay," he asked. Dean chuckled under him.

"You're such a girl."

Sam laughed and licked Dean's jaw to whisper in his ear. "Then why am I the one on top?"

Not allowing Dean to protest Sam thrust into Dean and Dean arched into him, clutching Sam closer. It took a few tries before Sam found Dean's sweet spot, knowing he did when Dean cried out and bucked into him.

"God, Sam!"

"You feel amazing, Dean," whispered Sam in Dean's ear as he pounded into his lover. Sam reached under him and took Dean's erection in his hand. Dean arched into him.

"God, yes, Sam!"

Sam smiled down at Dean as he made love to his brother. He took his time with Dean, first pounding into the other man as hard as he could, hearing Dean's screams of pleasure in his ears, then slowly to hear Dean moan sweetly. To Sam there was no better music then the one Dean was playing in his ears. He stroked Dean's cock in time with his strokes, bringing Dean to the edge and slowly taking it away.

Leaning down he sucked at the cut on Dean's neck, bringing more blood to the surface. Dean groaned when he felt Sam's teeth bite down gently.

"Please, Sam!" he begged in a hoarse voice. "Please!"

Sam looked down at Dean and decided he had tortured his lover long enough. Leaning down he bite down on Dean's neck. Dean cried out to the feeling of Sam's teeth on his neck, his hand around Dean's cock and Sam pounding in his ass. Sam's other hand held firmly to his neck, keeping him in place, but Dean had no plans of going anywhere.

The cut on Sam's arm was next to his face and he brought it closer to his lips, licking the drop of blood from it. Then he latched onto Sam's arm, drinking more Sam's sweet blood. Sam groaned when he felt Dean drink his blood, a bit of Dean's flowing down his throat.

Then he choked as an intense feeling came through him. He was feeling Dean feeling him. Both sets of feeling spiraled through his body, and he knew Dean felt the same. It had only been for a second, and it was enough to make both of them explode. Both screamed and stars danced behind their eyes as they found their release. Sam collapsed on the bed, making sure to land next to Dean's so he wouldn't flatten the other man. Both could not move for several minutes.

"Wow!" said Dean softly. "That was…"

"Yeah," said Sam, knowing there wasn't any word to describe it.

"Have you ever felt it before?" asked Dean.

Sam shook his head. Not even with Ruby did he have an orgasm that intense.

"Never. You?"

"God, no." He smirked at Sam. "We'll have to do that more often."

Sam chuckled. "Definitely."

The next morning Sam stared to find Dean looking down at him lovingly, the cut on his neck now just a faint scar thanks to the blood exchange. The cut on Sam's arm was the same. Sam smiled up at him. Dean leaned down and kissed him. Sam relaxed into the kiss as it sent a shiver through him. Reaching up he moved to run his hand up Dean's chest when he felt something cold on his finger. Looking at it he saw a wedding ring wrapped around the tattoo he created.

"I didn't make this," he said.

"I woke up with one on too," said Dean. "I think someone's telling us something."

Sam took his off to inspect the band. It was a simple wedding ring, made of real gold. Nothing to set it apart from any other. Then he noticed writing under the ring. Turning it slowly he read it aloud.

"'To infinity and beyond. Sam&Dean Forever.' "

Dean laughed. "Oh, I think I know who gave us these gifts."

"Who?" asked Sam looking up at him.

"Chuck. I think he approves."

Sam smiled and put his ring back on.

"To infinity and beyond," he said.

Dean pulled him close and kissed his head. "To infinity and beyond."

_What's it like being a human? What is it that defines us? Is it our actions or the way people react to us? Is it the five we put in the prayer bin? What is it that makes us different? Is it our freewill, our ability to love, or the drive in the human heart? Whatever it is, we are human and we will keep fighting._

**THE END**

-Sam and Dean didn't originally have middle names, so the ones I gave them were taken from John Winchester's first and middle name.

Well, I hope you liked Afterlife. I currently have some stories planned out and are currently in the works. Hopefully I'll be able to post something soon. Show your love and review!

Finishing Word Count: 101,057


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